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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

So is this PH trying to reach new lows?

I know how this production house works since I used to watch IPK. I know that women's degradation is a must in this PH's shows. Khushi was degraded to the point that I simply could not watch anymore. The women in these shows loose all self respect, pride, and ego in love but the men keep getting stronger and stronger. Everything is pushed under the rug just like arnav's blackmailing Khushi and mentally torturing her was pushed under the rug...here the insult meted out by Asad is automatically forgotten and forgiven by Zoya without even any apology by Asad or feelings of guilt. Its like selective amnesia which apparently Zoya has these days and Khushi used to have.

Since I know how this production house works, I try not to let it affect me. I know that the heroine is going to loose all self-respect (ofcourse the hero can never let go of even an inch of his ego) so I try not to let it affect me. I never made any topics concerning the insanity that is this PH, but I do today because there is a limit of everything.

This man screamed at her just yesterday, insulted her and she is laughing and giggling and making googly eyes at him and making toast and jam for him? And he is all smiles too...is he bipolar?

He has said that she does not deserve to have parents, that she would not fit in anywhere. He has done everything practically besides calling her a wh**e and yet the heroine keeps going back to him as if she is his lap dog. It's like she is a masochist so she keeps going back to him and he is a sadist. Its disgusting to watch and today I just couldnt take it anymore when I saw the precap. Every single episode in the back of my mind, I have the thought that feminism just went back 50 years but I don't say anything because it is a show afterall, but in this show where the girl is supposed to be modern and from NY...how can she behave like this?

Its disgusting to watch her desperate like this trying to get his attention. Its disgusting to watch her dance outside his window to get his attention. And whats more disgusting is that all this is romanticized.

I ask you girls here...if a guy treated you like this and you were a guest in his house, would you stay? I know I would not because my pride, my ego, my self-respect would not let me. I would rather live on the street in front of his house then live in his house because being there in that house even for a minute would be an insult to me. I have stopped going to people's houses for much less than the offense Asad has done...which is insurmountable.

Are we all watching the same show guys? Because how can I feel such disgust rising within me at what is being portrayed on my screen while other people can gush over the dance?

Good lord, she is actually dancing in front of his window as if she has no self-respect. Why not just get a pole and strip dance...that might actually be a more respectful job because those women do what they have to to survive and feed themselves and their children. But here she is letting a man, who treats her horribly, rule her life. The feminist in me is cringing.

The way he treats her as if she is a lowly person not worthy of respect is an insult to all modern women.

This PH really needs to understand that women are not accessories, that we have feelings, that we have just as much ego and self-respect as a man and that this PH stomps on that self-respect in every single episode.

This is not romance, atleast not the kind I dream of or any girl should dream of. Romance and love is something like what has been portrayed in Devon Ke Dev, kahin to hoga, even geet I dont mind (even though the same production house made it). When you love someone, you respect them, and maybe even revere them.

I do not dream of becoming a man's punching bag and I would bet most girls do not either. So PH please stop degrading women. It's a big turn off because when you degrade women and then try to make it romantic, bile rises in my throat watching that so called romance.

-----------

Please feel free to leave your thoughts. If you completely disagree with me then tell me so too, but explain it to me so I can try to understand.

Edited by ---Nisha--- - 12 years ago

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Frequent Posters

Jayne

@Jayne

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---
This PH really needs to understand that women are not accessories, that we have feelings, that we have just as much ego and self-respect as a man and that this PH stomps on that self-respect in every single episode.
This is not romance, atleast not the kind I dream of or any girl should dream of. Romance and love is something like what has been portrayed in Devon Ke Dev, kahin to hoga, even geet I dont mind (even though the same production house made it). When you love someone, you respect them, and maybe even revere them.
I do not dream of becoming a man's punching bag and I would bet most girls do not either. So PH please stop degrading women. It's a big turn off because when you degrade women and then try to make it romantic, bile rises in my throat watching that so called romance.
-----------

Please feel free to leave your thoughts. If you completely disagree with me then tell me so too, but explain it to me so I can try to understand.

I have written myself to carpel tunnel on this point...

From what I understand, TV in the 1980s was so much better.
There were inspirational and strong-woman shows like 'Udaan'.
Ekta Kapoor and all the viewers watching such crap - coz back then it was either that or DoorDurshan - have made such stories popular.

Just by the 97% of posts on this forum you can ascertain the mind-set of the ga-ga crowd.
They are not going to listen you (or me).
For them, eye-candy forgives anything.

One could almost wish 'heros' like this in their real life.
Reality bites.
They'll figure that out firsthand in a nano-second then.

The truly sad part is, I have spoken to, and even counseled girls who have bought into this 'fairy-tale hero', or 'dark and moody hero', or some such variation, and cried tears of blood.
Literally.
It is not a life I would wish for anyone.

Jayne

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princessjojo

@princessjojo

Dazzler

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

Would I stay? Hell no. In fact, I would've left the very next morning of Zoya's first night in his house, when he shouts at Zoya in his room.

As a viewer, though, I'm going to give them a chance and watch the entire story unfold- at least to the point where the synopsis given to us ends. I've never watched either of their previous shows and all I know about those shows is through the QH forum. So, I'm looking at this with a fresh perspective. On this forum there is a thread where we discuss foreshadowing/sympbolism etc...clearly, the makers have put in a lot of thought into the story and the storytelling and I look forward to it all. Provided that nothing goes wrong in terms of logistics and they follow the storyline they have hinted at so far, I'm going to place my faith in the makers of the show and give it a shot. And in the meanwhile, I will continue to criticize and/or praise individual episodes.

We still don't know what the orange sari dance is all about- whether it's real or a dream. Let's wait a day.

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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Jayne

I have written myself to carpel tunnel on this point...

From what I understand, TV in the 1980s was so much better.
There were inspirational and strong-woman shows like 'Udaan'.
Ekta Kapoor and all the viewers watching such crap - coz back then it was either that or DoorDurshan - have made such stories popular.

Just by the 97% of posts on this forum you can ascertain the mind-set of the ga-ga crowd.
They are not going to listen you (or me).
For them, eye-candy forgives anything.

One could almost wish 'heros' like this in their real life.
Reality bites.
They'll figure that out firsthand in a nano-second then.

The truly sad part is, I have spoken to, and even counseled girls who have bought into this 'fairy-tale hero', or 'dark and moody hero', or some such variation, and cried tears of blood.
Literally.
It is not a life I would wish for anyone.

Jayne

hey jayne fancy meeting you here. I didnt think any the like mind IPK crew would watch Qubool hai since what happened with IPK. I dont know why I started...I must be stupid hoping for a different outcome despite past experiences, or maybe KSG is just too hot to resist.

It makes me sad that this is how they portray love...there is nothing pure pr even magical about it. I remember when I used to watch Devon...when Mahadev and Sati looked at each other. The way Mahadev treated her with so much respect even though she was very stubborn. I know he is mahadev so ofcourse he is perfect but still arent all humans supposed to strive to live life the way they showed us? I am not even religious and still I am saying all this then how can religious people justify the way they treat women? How can Asad being a so called religious man justify the way he treats modern women?

I had always thought that was the fairytale...to have a man love you like no other. To have his love, his honor, his respect everything for yourself. Am I old school now geez?

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butterfly15..

@butterfly15..

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

I'm actually finding Asad's character to be more harsh than the character of Arnav.

I'm not trying to justify the wrongs Arnav did, but when he did them it's like he hated almost all adults, and then he was horrible to Khushi because he thought she betrayed him, it wasn't just a random thing.

But here what wrong did Zoya ever do to Asad?
He said all those cruel things to her even after knowing she does not have a mother! Arnav felt regret after he said his harsh words to Khushi once he found out she's an orphan, but here Asad says everything even when he knows about Zoya's life. That like I've said in another post is cruel and disgusting to me.

All the girl ever does is try to help his family but he can't get past his judgmental thoughts about he and see the good in her.

I could somewhat digest Arnav's behaviour because he believed his wife to be betraying him with another man, and so part of him hated her. But what is Asad's reason? We're meant to believe he is falling in love with Zoya, but is this really how you treat someone you have feelings for? Forget someone you have feelings for, what about humanity? How can you tell anyone they don't deserve a family or to have a mother?

The thing that really gets to me is Asad's self-pity.
He had a hard life I know that. But so did Zoya. In IPKKND, Arnav and Khushi both lost their parents, and once Arnav found that out he never acted as if he lost more than Khushi, in fact it was something they bonded over, why can't they do that with Zoya and Asad?😕

But instead here we have Asad acting as if only he's had a hard life, and only he knows pain. He still has both parents, but he chooses not to interact with one. Zoya however has actually lost one parent, and only met her father once, now you tell me which is worse?
Even then Zoya tries to see the best in life and takes all the crap that is thrown her way.

I understand Asad's pain and could even understand why he distances himself from people and Zoya, and can understand his anger. But I can't understand his cruelty. For a man who felt like he didn't have a father, to actually tell another human being they don't deserve one too, doesn't make sense.

For me unfortunately Asad has lost the charm he used to have. All I see is a self-pitying man, but to me it seems like everyone else in the show is having a harder life than him!
They seriously need to show a different side to his character, it is getting a bit monotone.
Plus they need to stop showing Zoya pandering to him, I loved it when she was independent, and acted like a grown woman. Yes I know at times her jealousy seems cute, but it sometimes crosses a line and seems childish.

No offence intended. This is just my observation.😊

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rogerrocks

@rogerrocks

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

I completely understand where you r coming from..And yes, if i were in Zoya's place, i wouldn't think twice before leaving the house..But from the perspective of a daily soap, i am willing to give them a chance..From the look of things, it seems like Asad will pay dearly for his actions..One of the main problems i had with IPK was the fact that they never showed any regret or remorse on Arnav's part for majority of his actions which were far more ruthless and abusive than Asad's in the first half of the show..Even when he broke his engagement,( a decision which he took to prove a point to Kushi), Lavanya was extremely understanding and quietly walked away..But if you look at Tanveer, she is evil personified and Asad is well on his way to learn the leason of his life..Am sure he is gonna regret all the hurt he caused Zoya( atleast i hope so)..And yes, there is a huge possibility of Ayaan and Zoya getting married..Thats gonna be the biggest punishment for Asad when he realises what he has lost due to his judgmental attitude and he cant even fight back cos she is married to his brother.This is one of the reasons why i have stopped cribbing about Asad cos i do think the guy is gonna pay very heavily, probably far more than he deserves in the future..I don mind abusive behavior on shows so long as they show an equally strong and impactful redemption..And i have a feeling, we might get to see that in QH..Regarding Zoya, the poor thing has been mellowed down to a large extent and i don really see her giving it back to Asad in the future..But yes, it is very likely that he might be compelled to eat humble pie and realize his mistakes due to circumstances and am looking forward to seeing that..And yes, despite everything, i do love Asad and Zoya..So i do hope they show a proper redemption cos otherwise it becomes really difficult to feel their love story..

P.S.Am reserving my judgment on the precap wala dance till i watch the epi..

Edited by rogerrocks - 12 years ago

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Jayne

@Jayne

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: ---Nisha---

hey jayne fancy meeting you here. I didnt think any the like mind IPK crew would watch Qubool hai since what happened with IPK. I dont know why I started...I must be stupid hoping for a different outcome despite past experiences, or maybe KSG is just too hot to resist.
It makes me sad that this is how they portray love...there is nothing pure pr even magical about it. I remember when I used to watch Devon...when Mahadev and Sati looked at each other. The way Mahadev treated her with so much respect even though she was very stubborn. I know he is mahadev so ofcourse he is perfect but still arent all humans supposed to strive to live life the way they showed us? I am not even religious and still I am saying all this then how can religious people justify the way they treat women? How can Asad being a so called religious man justify the way he treats modern women?
I had always thought that was the fairytale...to have a man love you like no other. To have his love, his honor, his respect everything for yourself. Am I old school now geez?

Hi Nisha,

Some of us watch it coz we are suckers for a love-story...then we scratch our heads and lament at the ghastly mess rendering itself in our senses.
Caught as we are, we try to make sense of the nonsensical... sigh!

As to Mr. Khan being a religious man... umm...80% of the world's atrocities are in the name of one religion or another. And from their POVs, they are all totally justified and righteous!

About being old school...not sure... but when I watch older shows (1980s, early 90s- on youtube, etc.)) somehow they are so much better in portraying the essence of the human spirit.
Sadly, the only spirit seen now is the quest for more moolah.
Quantity over quality is the new slogan.

Originally posted by: butterfly15..

I'm actually finding Asad's character to be more harsh than the character of Arnav.

I'm not trying to justify the wrongs Arnav did, but when he did them it's like he hated almost all adults, and then he was horrible to Khushi because he thought she betrayed him, it wasn't just a random thing.

But here what wrong did Zoya ever do to Asad?
He said all those cruel things to her even after knowing she does not have a mother! Arnav felt regret after he said his harsh words to Khushi once he found out she's an orphan, but here Asad says everything even when he knows about Zoya's life. That like I've said in another post is cruel and disgusting to me.

All the girl ever does is try to help his family but he can't get past his judgmental thoughts about he and see the good in her.

I could somewhat digest Arnav's behaviour because he believed his wife to be betraying him with another man, and so part of him hated her. But what is Asad's reason? We're meant to believe he is falling in love with Zoya, but is this really how you treat someone you have feelings for? Forget someone you have feelings for, what about humanity? How can you tell anyone they don't deserve a family or to have a mother?

The thing that really gets to me is Asad's self-pity.
He had a hard life I know that. But so did Zoya. In IPKKND, Arnav and Khushi both lost their parents, and once Arnav found that out he never acted as if he lost more than Khushi, in fact it was something they bonded over, why can't they do that with Zoya and Asad?Confused

But instead here we have Asad acting as if only he's had a hard life, and only he knows pain. He still has both parents, but he chooses not to interact with one. Zoya however has actually lost one parent, and only met her father once, now you tell me which is worse?
Even then Zoya tries to see the best in life and takes all the crap that is thrown her way.

I understand Asad's pain and could even understand why he distances himself from people and Zoya, and can understand his anger. But I can't understand his cruelty. For a man who felt like he didn't have a father, to actually tell another human being they don't deserve one too, doesn't make sense.

For me unfortunately Asad has lost the charm he used to have. All I see is a self-pitying man, but to me it seems like everyone else in the show is having a harder life than him!
They seriously need to show a different side to his character, it is getting a bit monotone.
Plus they need to stop showing Zoya pandering to him, I loved it when she was independent, and acted like a grown woman. Yes I know at times her jealousy seems cute, but it sometimes crosses a line and seems childish.

Too true.
However, you forget that men have a Y chromosome.
It has a tail for a reason.
Such that, when confronted with feelings and emotions unfamiliar, they can do what comes naturally to them.
Tuck the tail of that Y between their legs and run.
And Hide.

Exactly what Mr. Khan is doing.
He is an Egyptian for sure.
He so loves the Land of of DeNial.

Jayne

Edited by Jayne - 12 years ago

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Rockerchic

@Rockerchic

Rocker

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

Reality vs Reel-ty

This is the most complicated bit.

First just talking about myself.

Did I swoon over today's episode? Yes.

Did I seethe over yesterday's episode? Yes

What I noticed is people tend to look at these scenes individually and not in cumulation.

Like when i see a cute scene, I'm only thinking of that scene. I'm not thinking Asad slapped Zoya, I'm just looking at it separately.

This doesn't mean those things didn't affect me. It quite simple shows my attention span.

This isn't anything Gul Khan special, it's an Indian TV trend.

And people swooning over romantic scenes doesn't mean they support manhandling. If they don;t react to the manhandling or think the manhandling is romantic now that's a problem but merely swooning over these scenes just means everyone wants a bit of romance in their lives or maybe they just like how Karan and Surbhi look together.

I'm not going to justify Asad or Zoya. Your choice.

Edited by Rockerchic - 12 years ago

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---Nisha---

@---Nisha---

Voyager

+ 7

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: butterfly15..
I'm actually finding Asad's character to be more harsh than the character of Arnav.

I'm not trying to justify the wrongs Arnav did, but when he did them it's like he hated almost all adults, and then he was horrible to Khushi because he thought she betrayed him, it wasn't just a random thing.

But here what wrong did Zoya ever do to Asad?
He said all those cruel things to her even after knowing she does not have a mother! Arnav felt regret after he said his harsh words to Khushi once he found out she's an orphan, but here Asad says everything even when he knows about Zoya's life. That like I've said in another post is cruel and disgusting to me.

All the girl ever does is try to help his family but he can't get past his judgmental thoughts about he and see the good in her.

I could somewhat digest Arnav's behaviour because he believed his wife to be betraying him with another man, and so part of him hated her. But what is Asad's reason? We're meant to believe he is falling in love with Zoya, but is this really how you treat someone you have feelings for? Forget someone you have feelings for, what about humanity? How can you tell anyone they don't deserve a family or to have a mother?

The thing that really gets to me is Asad's self-pity.
He had a hard life I know that. But so did Zoya. In IPKKND, Arnav and Khushi both lost their parents, and once Arnav found that out he never acted as if he lost more than Khushi, in fact it was something they bonded over, why can't they do that with Zoya and Asad?😕

But instead here we have Asad acting as if only he's had a hard life, and only he knows pain. He still has both parents, but he chooses not to interact with one. Zoya however has actually lost one parent, and only met her father once, now you tell me which is worse?
Even then Zoya tries to see the best in life and takes all the crap that is thrown her way.

I understand Asad's pain and could even understand why he distances himself from people and Zoya, and can understand his anger. But I can't understand his cruelty. For a man who felt like he didn't have a father, to actually tell another human being they don't deserve one too, doesn't make sense.

For me unfortunately Asad has lost the charm he used to have. All I see is a self-pitying man, but to me it seems like everyone else in the show is having a harder life than him!
They seriously need to show a different side to his character, it is getting a bit monotone.
Plus they need to stop showing Zoya pandering to him, I loved it when she was independent, and acted like a grown woman. Yes I know at times her jealousy seems cute, but it sometimes crosses a line and seems childish.

No offence intended. This is just my observation.😊

Yes I agree with you that arnav used to feel really bad about the things he said to Khushi and sometimes he would hurt himself, but when he really needed to repent (after the forced marriage thing) he didnt which ruined Arnav for me. I simply could not look at Arnav anymore.

I dont know if Arnav was better or worse because he did mentally torture Khushi for quite a while. But I do agree with you that Asad's behavior is very uncalled for.

Actually if I met someone like Asad in real life...I would not give them even the time of day no matter how hot they are because as soon as he opened his mouth I would think he was insane. I am not religious so whenever religious people start talking about tehzeeb, and start showing what women's place is...I start thinking they are nuts...wacko. Who in their right mind in this century is as judgmental as this nutjob is? Asad's head is filled with insanity. No matter how hot a man is...if his views are like Asad...sayonara.

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butterfly15..

@butterfly15..

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

P.S.

I always wonder if someone did a show with a stubborn, arrogant, angry, and sometimes cruel girl, would people be just as accepting of her as they are of such a male character? I doubt it very much.

If Zoya acted like Asad I know for a fact people would call her certain names I don't want to mention.

Edited by butterfly15.. - 12 years ago

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