Sparsh (An SS)--- Part XIV (Pg 130) - Page 34

Created

Last reply

Replies

1k

Views

79.2k

Users

69

Likes

2.9k

Frequent Posters

sweetone thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
wow. excellently written. couldn't have asked for more. please update at the soonest.
1HappyGrl thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

Indu! You have a way of making me fall in love with each new installment a little more than the previous one. 👏 What a twist with Yash's promise to Arpita that he'd be Palak's father! I love it.

Aarti nodded in acknowledgment, smiling shakily...suddenly fidgety, shifting her eyes, and looking at the office door...the only escape. She saw Neema about to step out and suddenly made a dash for the door...Lifting a finger in a "one-moment" gesture toward the duo...she pulled Neema back with her...leaving Vinny flustered and Yash slightly bemused at the nervous flight.

Loved the vividness of the above paragraph. I found myself laughing because I can totally picture Aarti doing this. 😆

Then, the paragraphs on Mishti/Aarti's exhilarating anxiety (that's the only way I could describe it, lol) and Yash's mental workings on, not only her readable silence, but also the instantaneous emotional connect he feels with her are just so good. These paragraphs, in particular, really just captured everything for me (bolded my favorite sentences):

Yash's back tingled with a long-ago sensation as he drove on. What was going on? The lady at the back intrigued him...there was no doubt...but why? She hadn't spoken at all. Well...some people are quiet by nature...she may be a person of few words...but why did her silence upset him so? Why did he want to hear the sound of her voice? Once he caught her looking at him in the rearview mirror with a pain that made his heart constrict...after which she concentrated on the view outside...though at least twice he saw her flicking the corner of her eye as if to brush away a tear...Something was troubling her... but what? All his attempts at small talks were met with silence...with Neema doing all the talking...rambling actually...something about sore throat...doctor's orders. . . .

Yash was struggling with emotions of his own. Why were all those dormant feelings coming alive now...now...on a road, where the one beside him was a stranger...and the one behind was not. Hold on! Where did that come from? Yash suddenly realized the feeling that had hit him when he had first looked at Mrs Aarti Dubey...and that was of familiarity...as if he had known her from before. But why? As far as he recalled, he had never met her...He glanced at the rearview mirror. Her long hair kept flying across her face. He saw her take out a clasp and pull the hair back in it...He wanted to ask her not to do it. As if on cue, her eyes lifted and stared back at him in the mirror...and then just as quickly she averted them, but not before he felt a thrill pass through him. In frustration, he brushed his hair back with trembling fingers, "What's happening to me, Mishti? What's going on love?" . . . .

Yash got out of the car, just as Mishti opened the back door. He stepped forward to hold the door for her. In a hurry to step away from him a few strands of her hair brushed across his face, and he got a whiff of her hair, which jolted his senses to the core...He knew that fragrance. This heightened awareness of her was getting to him now.

*Happy sigh* ☺️

Write on, my friend, write on. Eagerly awaiting Part VII. 😃

bhuvana90 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
a very lovely update... waiting for the next update.👏
InduG64 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
@sweetone: Thank you.😊


@Jac: Aww...you are such a feel-good friend...My heart goes all gooey when I read such lovely comments...makes me feel happy that I made you a little happy. Thank you so much.🤗


@Bhuvana: Thank you. Let's see if I can get the next one in by Sunday. 😊
Kittya_Cullen thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: InduG64

@Kadeen: Thank you so much, lil sis. I am speechless...I don't know what to say to the fantabulous feedback, except that I am touched...very touched. You were in my head, Kadeen...you were with me every step of the way with the feel of the conversation ...you pointed at nuances I felt while writing. I know you will know what I mean when I say, "While writing Sparsh, I don't plan, I don't think, I don't even know what happens next...situations happen, Yash reacts, Aarti reacts, the others pitch in as I go along...It's strange in many ways." Thus, the first part happened as I wrote along...it was the most instinctive dialog I must've written...and it went nonstop...Your analysis on each sentence was spot on...You made me happy, and I love you for that.🤗

The intro part of your response was mindblowing. 👏I loved your write-up on Sparsh...and I agree to all of that. Of course, I knew of the twins case, but to hear it in context here made me emotional. This brilliant feedback has humbled me. You have given me more than I deserved...I am looking forward to the other parts...Take your time...😊


Aaaw Di! You don't have to thank me. I've only noted what everyone else has said more concisely😆. All the things I pointed out were just to show you that we are following you and we do see those little things you leave for us that point toward the rest of the story. In hindsight, one can see where hinted at predictions that were acknowledged but glossed over make their mark in the tale.

Like you've said, I do know what you mean. The characters live, and rather than picking set events with set response, you let everything flow with the emotions of the characters, and reading what you've said about the instinctive feel that came from the dialogue, I feel admiration for you. When it comes to dialogue writing, I've always had that struggle with putting things into being in an engaging way- especially because of my own stilted form of speech. Anyhoot, enough about me, I'm just really glad this made you happy. I had a little smile of my own thinking about how surprised you'd be that I actually got around to doing one of the promised write-ups and how glad you might be 😃.

As for that little introduction, I just remembered it as I began and it fell into place. I actually first heard that remarkable story one Sabbath, and have never been able to forget it. Your story also has that touch that will remain in the memory, and so it came together to me in that moment.

Will see when I finish my other part analyses/observations...we all know my track record🤔

Looking forward to your next update!!!
Shashi1984 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Superb update, unbelievable. Yash didn't love Arpita, he only loves Mishti. Pls clear the MU of Mishti that he moved on in life forgeting her.
InduG64 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
@Kadeen: Smile? I was grinning from ear to ear when I saw those pageful of words in Kadeen-special calligraphy. 😃 Seriously, you made me feel good for myself...love you for that.🤗 Oh...don't worry about the track record...my day will again come when it's meant to be.



@Shashi: Thanks...Oh, that particular MU will clear up soon enough.😊
Kittya_Cullen thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: InduG64

@Kadeen: Smile? I was grinning from ear to ear when I saw those pageful of words in Kadeen-special calligraphy. 😃 Seriously, you made me feel good for myself...love you for that.🤗 Oh...don't worry about the track record...my day will again come when it's meant to be.



@Shashi: Thanks...Oh, that particular MU will clear up soon enough.😊


LOL! Kadeen-special calligraphy😆. Doing my own grin over here because I've always wanted a a passably recognisable font. I actually do love calligraphy in real life. It's one of my interests🤣. I wish I had more font options on IF🤔. Anyhoot, as long as you had that fantastic grin on your face, and you felt as awesome as I know you are, then everything's good!!
Kesha_H. thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
nyc. update but wht does the Y in Aarti's name stand for Yash??😕
smileymj10 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Engager Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago

That was a superb part Indu!!
Every episode are getting better and better...

So Yash and Arpita didn't get married!!
Mishti just misunderstood and assume the status of Yash in just a call...
And they both taking care of kids in which they really don't own...
Am glad they've met already, but no touch no talk at all..
Yash can sense it, in just a fragrance, soul connection indeed!

Super liked the story, loving it more and more...


P.S
You know what, when I saw the PV episode where Yash extended his hand to Aarti at court, I imagine the last part of part V.. I just thought, coincidence?? Am glad you came up with different thoughts, haha..

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".