Mittals r orthodox & backward ??? - Page 5

Originally posted by: shalgo

Agree with you. It has more to do with tradition and culture than anything else...I mean with the same logic, Arati touching elders feet might also be considered regressive...when the son-in-laws are not really obliged to do it with everyone...Covering heads is considered as a means of paying respect to elders...same as one does in front of god...It is not that all traditions and cultures are regressive...This is a very benign tradition and in my opinion doesn't cause any harm to anyone...

And to clarify, I leave in Delhi and do not need to cover my head...infact I wear westerns a lot...Still I think if as a means to respect our elders, if i have to cover my head occassionally...I would not find it repressive.

Originally posted by: Charishma

I agree that, they're showing orthodox ways, but these ways are always being challenged, and the challenger wins. They don't portray all of this to promote it, but to show growth. Watch, sooner or later, Aarti is going to drop the ghunghat too. Her and Pari both take if off the moment they're in their rooms. One of these days they'll forget, and then just slowly stop bothering.

Its strange, but I find PV, with all its 'traditional' trappings, much more progressive, then say, shows like Kya Hua Tera Vaada. Both shows are dealing with a similar message these days: a woman's personal identity.
PV stays strong that Aarti is Aarti, and no matter how many times a person calls her Arpita, or insists she be called such, she will stay her own individual self.
Then you have a 'modern' show like KHTV, with all the trappings of a modern show (i.e: they live alone, have a flat etc). But, after stating that Mona has no identity other than that of a wife (Mrs Pradeep Singh, I think they said), they go on to expressly state that that is okay. She is currently on a fight to win back her husband, after he has abandoned her and her children for another woman. He doesn't even want partial custody of their children, and is shocked (and annoyed) that Mona wants them to stay with him. He preemptively agrees to any condition she has (in order to get a divorce), because he's just that adamant about getting rid of her.

Then you have PV. Aarti's pain, and unwillingness to let go, isn't portrayed as her 'duty' to her husband. In fact, it was shown in a way that made us almost a little disgusted with her desperation.
I know its strange, but once I looked beyond the physical trappings of family dinners with bahus as servers, an extended family home, ghunghats, and a horrible MIL, I started to love them for what they symbolize. In this show, all of these trappings are being portrayed as traditional (and maybe a little regressive, depending on the trapping), but they aren't being shown as 'correct'. That's key. Normally I don't watch Saas Bahu shows, but PV is sort of re-defining the genre. Hope it sticks.

Originally posted by: aditibd

u r saying occasionally right???? that is what i want to say. if u r doing something 4 sometimes that is not under forceful things, or any wrong custom.
ok u all r asking what is wrong in it. i tell u now if u r talking abt occasionally basis then i am also confused whether it is right or wrong. but when someone is doing this everyday then this really not favourable 4 me at least. this is not d issue of cover ur head. hthis is abt. when u have to cover ur head u covered ur likes,dislikes,demands,individual thoughts,desires,consent,willingness under that GHUNGAT or PALLU. u have no freedom to express urself, no freedom to do waht u want,no freedom to discuss ur thoughts, no importance abt ur opinions, theese r just not considerable 4 them(elders).u r just nonliving puppet 4 them. whom they want to move here & there that's it.u r not human being 4 them. this is i want to say abt this GHUNGAT PRATHA. this not d issue abt cover ur head with cloth. this is abt cover ur individuality under this PALLU. i am talking abt freedom which these type of women want but they can't get. i don't mind to cover head only but not by surrendering myself,my individuality, my individual thoughts. this is i want to say.

Originally posted by: shalgo

I get your point...but you are equating covering a head with surpressing one's individuality...I have seen sufficient bahus with head covered...housewives coming from so called orthodox families in small towns and cities...yet strong enough to express their opinions with elders and husbands... yeh serial wali bahus who do not open their mouth at all are rare...

I am serious. most of the time...who remains muted hubby or wife or mil and who is more vocal...is a function of the individual personality trait rather than a family setting. this is what PV is potraying...three dils (all heads covered) each have their own style and attitude in dealing with the same mil...Isn't it😊 Saas bhi unhi bahu ko daba sakti jo Vidhi ki tarah...na bolna nahin jaanti.

My POV is thatt maybe the head covering act was initiated to remind bahus of the reverence to elders and force them to budge out on trivial issues, not to bring in self ego to differences and may be express their disagreement in a more diplomatic and respectful manner... In today's time, has to be viewed as a trivial matter (ot maybe inconvenient) to be ignored...surely, the bahus will get out of it in a few years from now.

Originally posted by: aditibd

ok if they r doing just 4 formality then that is defiantly not harmful. i am talking abt individuality which also get coverd under this GHUNGAT. only covering ur head is not harmful a also know that. but i am talkin abt this harmful custom who snatches their human rights, their identity,their willingness.
ya i know today's situation is better than previous. now women also doing what they want, they r also independent, thoughtful. so i just hope this ruthless GHUNGAT PRATHA(not just covring ur head)will stop in future atleast.

Originally posted by: shalgo

😆 yes surely it would...It has come down signficantly...and ur point is also right...it will stop to be even remotely repressive when women have the choice to decide whether they want to cover their head or not.

Like...when I got married...my mil otherwise reasonably open in her outlook...bound by her traditions (or god knows what) wanted me to touch her feet everyday in the morning... I am typically not so energetic and enthusiastic when I wake up from sleep 😆😆and hence, was very reluctant to do it (more so because it was a demand placed on me). I can say good morning or at best smile at the other person...So it became a struggle...she took it as my defiance/irreverence...I used to it for few days , then stop, then she would complain., would do it for few days to stop again.

Finally, I think in two to three years, she realised that I am not willing to do it and stopped insisting on the same...😆 now I touch her feet on every festival or happy occassion and not everyday...but do it on my own will..., do not find it forced and am happy about it.

Originally posted by: Charishma

^Exactly. When you find it conflicts with your beliefs, you speak up. Otherwise just let it go. That was my whole point.

As an aside though, I can't beleive some people are finding Mittals shows regressive, and Balaji progressive. Like seriously, what planet are these people living on??

Balaji is all that is wrong with Indian Television. Ekta is the one who started the whole saas bahu saga thing. And she's the one who sends out horrible messages like, its okay to rape your wife (Kaisa Yeh Pyaar Hai), and horrible rapists can become lover-boys (Ballika Vadhu). She has had a hit or two. But there is no such thing as writen integrity or positive social message as fare as Ekta is concerned.

PV is progressive. Its just some don't have willingness to look beyond a pallu or an annoying MIL. There is so much going on for god sakes.

Originally posted by: asrocks

This is absolutely a worth discussing issue!!!! Kudos to you for bringing up such an important issue.
Here is my view:
This is culture of many Indian families or rather say majority. And i guess Bhopal is not so modern even if it is a big city. Even in Delhi many women cover their heads especially with backgrounds of MP, UP and Haryana.
Women has to be modern by thoughts and shud be strong enough to live a great life. In many serials women wear modern clothes but they are orthodox in their mentalities.

Just take an example of Jhansi Ki Rani - was she an orthodox? She was far too modern in her thoughts and actions and she respected cultural traditions too.