Mittals r orthodox & backward ??? - Page 4

Originally posted by: aditibd

but who says that u have to behave harshly or have to fight with elders. u can explain them in well manner,in soft voice also. so u want this will ur children also do in future. may be after 10 or 15 years later right??? who says that after following this customs & rituals u will become perfect dil??? & if that so why r u not doing this in cities also when u r living alone in hostels or in pg. why don't u follow this in metro cities also??u wear modern closes in cities & when u go to ur place then only u follow ur customs. then why r u not doing this here also,if u r so much in favour of this ghunat pratha? that means u want to follow this traditions as per ur convenience.wooow that's gr888888. that means u want to live by wearing mask on ur face. don't u think in this way also u r disrespecting ur elders???? so in many states balvivah,sati pratha,to aboard girl fetal also alive. & this is also bcs of old generation so u want to follow that also. bcs u don't want to argue right????and u want to see them happy in any cost right???this is also same way wrong & harmful bcs this GHUNGAT PRTHA is against human rights.

Okay, I'm sorry. But you're being very disrespectful. I don't wear any sort of head covering. Yes, there are times when I think women are being oppressed via it. But that doesn't mean you look down on women (and men) who do. Do we call men who wear turbans oppressed? Do we call nuns' headdresses a tool of oppression? Then why is it a non-white woman, with a pallu or scarf or w/e called oppressed? Because they are brown (or w/e else) and therefore the men in their liives are oppressing them?
Even though I'm not Sikh, I've been to a Gurdwara numerous times. Should I then, stand outside, request the presence of a temple representative, and say, "no this is against my rights"? I don't understand your argument that ANY sort of head covering is a tool of oppression. The world is not so black and white, sorry.

I agree that oppression can operate through many subtle ways. The mere carrying on of a tradition, simply because its been that way for so long, especially when it relates to women, is suspect. I mean, PV has that Bua widow. She was not married, because it was customary back then for her not to. But then in the same house, you have Aarti: A "widow" Scindiyas (for all their dragon-like ways) remarried to one of their own sons. Oppression being fought, right there. I don't know why you're getting so worked up over a pallu, when bigger fish are being fried front and centre. The pallu will be lost with time. We already know that Pari and Aarti are new to it, and that they would rather not wear it.
I don't think Mittals are portraying anything incorrect. They're not showing tradition for the sake of showing it (as some PH's are want to do). They're not glorifying it, or showing it to be 'correct'. They're showing traditions being questioned.

I follow traditions when I don't find them taxing, or insulting. Its not called wearing a mask, its called courtesy. I could easily refuse my mother. But you see. You missed something important in my above essay (lol I know it was really long). I do not want to. See how that works? I feel no joy or great displeasure, so I say yes. Also, there is no harm involved. You want to make people happy, and if you don't find anything wrong with doing whatever it is they want, they why not??

If you wanted someone to do something for you, which was quite harmless, and you very nicely and politely asked them, and they said no, how would you feel? Filled with joy and unable to contain yourself? Or would you be dissapointed, and confused? And hurt?

Also, there is a MAJOR difference between wearing a pallu over your head (as Aarti and Pari do), and aborting a female fetus. The former is very trivial, and the latter is not. Its called a judgement call. We make them every day. People follow traditions based on their judgements. This includes, personal morals and views (i.e.: Am I being made to do something I do not agree with?), and willingness to please others. No one is saying that they would blindly do anything any elder asked, simply because we want a non-disruptive life. That's a little ridiculous.

It's called respect and that word can have different connotations for different people. "Orthodox" in one culture might not be orthodox in another, and putting a gun ghat might not necessarily means backward, that's just the family's way of showing respect.

i totally agree with you plus no offence to any one one, but they are hypocrites to & mislead viewers by boasiting about there show reaching todays gen & that shows plots are in keeping with the motto of star plus nayi soch, when it came to dabh. but guess what that show resembles page to page with ektas iconic saas bahu shows, where the bahu gets treated like piece of thrash, but stands there like she is a stone, crying bucket load & saas being the super wicked witch from hell, in fact here they have raced far ahead then the ekta shows, by making bahabo the most heartless, vicious, dispicable , total bitter, jealous & resentful, almost to the point where you feen shes inhuman, what a disgrace. only diffrence was ekta wasnt orthodox like these guys, as they didnt hide behind ghoonghat. but here in both shows you feel as if your sitting in ancient times watching puppet show. dabh was supposed to be about a woman rights & her dreams & how her hubby supports her in realising them & thats how they showed promos & promoted it verbally, but now one can see it was there tactic to lure viewers to watch it, but all along nothing but a typical saas/bahu thrsh, viewrs are still watching it as they still feel sandh will become a cop, but once it dawns on them that they were mislead & this show is just another sass/bahu kichdi it will go kaput.

Originally posted by: Charishma

Okay, I'm sorry. But you're being very disrespectful. I don't wear any sort of head covering. Yes, there are times when I think women are being oppressed via it. But that doesn't mean you look down on women (and men) who do. Do we call men who wear turbans oppressed? Do we call nuns' headdresses a tool of oppression? Then why is it a non-white woman, with a pallu or scarf or w/e called oppressed? Because they are brown (or w/e else) and therefore the men in their liives are oppressing them?
Even though I'm not Sikh, I've been to a Gurdwara numerous times. Should I then, stand outside, request the presence of a temple representative, and say, "no this is against my rights"? I don't understand your argument that ANY sort of head covering is a tool of oppression. The world is not so black and white, sorry.

I agree that oppression can operate through many subtle ways. The mere carrying on of a tradition, simply because its been that way for so long, especially when it relates to women, is suspect. I mean, PV has that Bua widow. She was not married, because it was customary back then for her not to. But then in the same house, you have Aarti: A "widow" Scindiyas (for all their dragon-like ways) remarried to one of their own sons. Oppression being fought, right there. I don't know why you're getting so worked up over a pallu, when bigger fish are being fried front and centre. The pallu will be lost with time. We already know that Pari and Aarti are new to it, and that they would rather not wear it.
I don't think Mittals are portraying anything incorrect. They're not showing tradition for the sake of showing it (as some PH's are want to do). They're not glorifying it, or showing it to be 'correct'. They're showing traditions being questioned.

I follow traditions when I don't find them taxing, or insulting. Its not called wearing a mask, its called courtesy. I could easily refuse my mother. But you see. You missed something important in my above essay (lol I know it was really long). I do not want to. See how that works? I feel no joy or great displeasure, so I say yes. Also, there is no harm involved. You want to make people happy, and if you don't find anything wrong with doing whatever it is they want, they why not??

If you wanted someone to do something for you, which was quite harmless, and you very nicely and politely asked them, and they said no, how would you feel? Filled with joy and unable to contain yourself? Or would you be dissapointed, and confused? And hurt?

Also, there is a MAJOR difference between wearing a pallu over your head (as Aarti and Pari do), and aborting a female fetus. The former is very trivial, and the latter is not. Its called a judgement call. We make them every day. People follow traditions based on their judgements. This includes, personal morals and views (i.e.: Am I being made to do something I do not agree with?), and willingness to please others. No one is saying that they would blindly do anything any elder asked, simply because we want a non-disruptive life. That's a little ridiculous.

Wow, wow, wow! Take a bow Charishma, that was BEAUTIFUL! You have explained everything so rationally that I am really in awe of your defense! I don't understand why this needed to become a big issue, and I wasn't intending on posting anything on this thread, but your perfectly put together response deserved a round of applause 👏 and from all of us rational minded viewers who have much bigger fish to fry with the show 🤗

Yes I am Sikh and cover my head in a Gurdwara every sunday. I don't think that makes me orthodox it is just a sign of respect like taking off your shoes before you go in.

Originally posted by: omiraja

i totally agree with you plus no offence to any one one, but they are hypocrites to & mislead viewers by boasiting about there show reaching todays gen & that shows plots are in keeping with the motto of star plus nayi soch, when it came to dabh. but guess what that show resembles page to page with ektas iconic saas bahu shows, where the bahu gets treated like piece of thrash, but stands there like she is a stone, crying bucket load & saas being the super wicked witch from hell, in fact here they have raced far ahead then the ekta shows, by making bahabo the most heartless, vicious, dispicable , total bitter, jealous & resentful, almost to the point where you feen shes inhuman, what a disgrace. only diffrence was ekta wasnt orthodox like these guys, as they didnt hide behind ghoonghat. but here in both shows you feel as if your sitting in ancient times watching puppet show. dabh was supposed to be about a woman rights & her dreams & how her hubby supports her in realising them & thats how they showed promos & promoted it verbally, but now one can see it was there tactic to lure viewers to watch it, but all along nothing but a typical saas/bahu thrsh, viewrs are still watching it as they still feel sandh will become a cop, but once it dawns on them that they were mislead & this show is just another sass/bahu kichdi it will go kaput.

same for this saas here to is a hitler & a totall miserable soul, cruel, vicious, resentful & spiteful, who has a problem with little boy & is getting restless cause hes not a robot like her own kids & granchildren. i mean watch the family they live by rules every where & yash comes across as a control freak, who to get perfection will go to any extent. gosh mittals what a piece of kichdi are you subjecting us to, if it wasnt for the grate guru, karthika i wouldnt watch the show, but guru make everything so more joyful with his hot looks & brilliant acting that you just forget everything. same with dabh anas & deepika are magical so the saving grace, but if the concepts are so jaded & a bore then how long can these brillant talents last caus if the plots are so weak.

sorry for long post but im totally mad with these mittals. they have brilliant talent in leads but there horrid plots will ruin everything, viewers cant be fooled for too long, you mittal guys have lured us by false pretence saying you have fresh plots but gave us a bore in return & the charm will fade especiall dabh. wake up & look around its 21st century no 1930's

ohh dear really well said. exactly my point. where r we going towards 21st century or some 16th or 18th century???? and i really wonder todays women also think like this way. they don't find this wrong and want to give favor this GHUNGAT PRATHA by giving examples of how in many states this is going & this is d way to respect ur elders. wooow i mean hat's off to them all. so who r not doing all this r disrecpectful with their elders right???? and only by doing this (taking GHUNGAT) u can prove ur respect towards them right, who said this??? i really don't understand what is d use of it???? can anyone tell me????
and in other side u can see clearly that many this type of people only i am not saying every one but some behaved uncontrolled when they llive in metro cities & do many wrong things like going here & there with boyfrnds at late night, going in discotheques, doing illegal things which metro citizens never do bcs at their place they r living in cage. they have no freedom to do what they want. why don't u faithful with urself at least????? u want to wear modern clothes and want to give favor all unnecessary customs also. how double standard people they r ???

Originally posted by: Charishma

Okay, I'm sorry. But you're being very disrespectful. I don't wear any sort of head covering. Yes, there are times when I think women are being oppressed via it. But that doesn't mean you look down on women (and men) who do. Do we call men who wear turbans oppressed? Do we call nuns' headdresses a tool of oppression? Then why is it a non-white woman, with a pallu or scarf or w/e called oppressed? Because they are brown (or w/e else) and therefore the men in their liives are oppressing them?
Even though I'm not Sikh, I've been to a Gurdwara numerous times. Should I then, stand outside, request the presence of a temple representative, and say, "no this is against my rights"? I don't understand your argument that ANY sort of head covering is a tool of oppression. The world is not so black and white, sorry.

I agree that oppression can operate through many subtle ways. The mere carrying on of a tradition, simply because its been that way for so long, especially when it relates to women, is suspect. I mean, PV has that Bua widow. She was not married, because it was customary back then for her not to. But then in the same house, you have Aarti: A "widow" Scindiyas (for all their dragon-like ways) remarried to one of their own sons. Oppression being fought, right there. I don't know why you're getting so worked up over a pallu, when bigger fish are being fried front and centre. The pallu will be lost with time. We already know that Pari and Aarti are new to it, and that they would rather not wear it.
I don't think Mittals are portraying anything incorrect. They're not showing tradition for the sake of showing it (as some PH's are want to do). They're not glorifying it, or showing it to be 'correct'. They're showing traditions being questioned.

I follow traditions when I don't find them taxing, or insulting. Its not called wearing a mask, its called courtesy. I could easily refuse my mother. But you see. You missed something important in my above essay (lol I know it was really long). I do not want to. See how that works? I feel no joy or great displeasure, so I say yes. Also, there is no harm involved. You want to make people happy, and if you don't find anything wrong with doing whatever it is they want, they why not??

If you wanted someone to do something for you, which was quite harmless, and you very nicely and politely asked them, and they said no, how would you feel? Filled with joy and unable to contain yourself? Or would you be dissapointed, and confused? And hurt?

Also, there is a MAJOR difference between wearing a pallu over your head (as Aarti and Pari do), and aborting a female fetus. The former is very trivial, and the latter is not. Its called a judgement call. We make them every day. People follow traditions based on their judgements. This includes, personal morals and views (i.e.: Am I being made to do something I do not agree with?), and willingness to please others. No one is saying that they would blindly do anything any elder asked, simply because we want a non-disruptive life. That's a little ridiculous.

ok i agree with u on certain points. and fine i will take my words back abt aborting a female fetal.but r u in favour of this custom???ii really wonder todays women also think like this way. they don't find this wrong and want to give favor this GHUNGAT PRATHA by giving examples of how in many states this is going & this is d way to respect ur elders. wooow i mean hat's off to them all. so who r not doing all this r disrespectful with their elders right???? and only by doing this (taking GHUNGAT) u can prove ur respect towards them right, who said this??? i really don't understand what is d use of it???? can anyone tell me????
and in other side u can see clearly that many this type of people only i am not saying every one but some behaved uncontrolled when they llive in metro cities & do many wrong things like going here & there with boyfrnds at late night, going in discotheques, doing illegal things bcs at their place they r living in cage. they have no freedom to do what they want. which most of d metro citizens never do. bcs they don't need that.in every this type of forceful things u find spring action only. why don't u faithful with urself at least????? u want to wear modern clothes and want to give favor all unnecessary customs also. how double standard people u r???

Originally posted by: Gurtiluv

Yes I am Sikh and cover my head in a Gurdwara every sunday. I don't think that makes me orthodox it is just a sign of respect like taking off your shoes before you go in.

this is not under GHUNGAT PRATHA. when u do something 4 some time that is not at all under forceful custom. bcs u r doing this 4 few mins only. i want to ask one thing who r taking GHUNGAT or PALLU on their head. they r really happy with it and they don't want to live openly like without any burden or forceful things????

Originally posted by: Charishma

I agree that, they're showing orthodox ways, but these ways are always being challenged, and the challenger wins. They don't portray all of this to promote it, but to show growth. Watch, sooner or later, Aarti is going to drop the ghunghat too. Her and Pari both take if off the moment they're in their rooms. One of these days they'll forget, and then just slowly stop bothering.

Its strange, but I find PV, with all its 'traditional' trappings, much more progressive, then say, shows like Kya Hua Tera Vaada. Both shows are dealing with a similar message these days: a woman's personal identity.
PV stays strong that Aarti is Aarti, and no matter how many times a person calls her Arpita, or insists she be called such, she will stay her own individual self.
Then you have a 'modern' show like KHTV, with all the trappings of a modern show (i.e: they live alone, have a flat etc). But, after stating that Mona has no identity other than that of a wife (Mrs Pradeep Singh, I think they said), they go on to expressly state that that is okay. She is currently on a fight to win back her husband, after he has abandoned her and her children for another woman. He doesn't even want partial custody of their children, and is shocked (and annoyed) that Mona wants them to stay with him. He preemptively agrees to any condition she has (in order to get a divorce), because he's just that adamant about getting rid of her.

Then you have PV. Aarti's pain, and unwillingness to let go, isn't portrayed as her 'duty' to her husband. In fact, it was shown in a way that made us almost a little disgusted with her desperation.
I know its strange, but once I looked beyond the physical trappings of family dinners with bahus as servers, an extended family home, ghunghats, and a horrible MIL, I started to love them for what they symbolize. In this show, all of these trappings are being portrayed as traditional (and maybe a little regressive, depending on the trapping), but they aren't being shown as 'correct'. That's key. Normally I don't watch Saas Bahu shows, but PV is sort of re-defining the genre. Hope it sticks.

Originally posted by: Charishma

Okay, I defer on the argument that covering your head is regressive and disrespectful. Fact, is there are plenty of customs (both religious and cultural), that lead an individual to covering their head, whether they are a man or a woman. But I do agree that when it comes to women, it seems a little, forced at times.
But, PV is a different situation😊. Its cultural here. It's something that the elders enforce, and everyone follows, simply because it makes the elders happy.
Its a simple issue really: Why kick up a storm about something that you really couldn't care less about?? Its not about satisfying someone's 'demand'. Its about satisfying the wishes of someone older (and dear) to you. When my mom asks me to go with her to a pooja, I say yes (often after cringing, because I often find these functions to be more of a gossip session and fashion show, than anything really important 😆). But why do I say yes? To make her happy (and get her off my back⭐️).
Everyone has an option. But that doesn't mean you choose to deny everything that everyone ever requests of you, simply because you do not like it. That's a little selfish, don't you think? If you're slightest action, or a couple hours of your time, makes someone satisfied, why not?

Even on this show, Aarti often gives in to Ansh's demands. A lot of people criticize her for being too indulgent, and say, 'who's the parent here?". But, at the end of the day, Aarti assesses the situation, and makes a judgement call: Listening to her son will not make him a bad human being. Giving weight and importance to a growing person's thoughts and feelings is important. As long as she doesn't see anything harmful stemming from his request, she says yes.

Sorry, i don't mean to offend. But I didn't like your comment about ghunghat's being 'wrong'. They might not be progressive, and it (the covering of a woman's head) can be used as a tool to oppress women. But sometimes its better to look at each individual circumstance first, before painting all scenarios with the same brush. I don't think is precisely 'wrong' here. It seems more trivial than anything else. And I think that's how Pari and Aarti view it too.

Agree with you. It has more to do with tradition and culture than anything else...I mean with the same logic, Arati touching elders feet might also be considered regressive...when the son-in-laws are not really obliged to do it with everyone...Covering heads is considered as a means of paying respect to elders...same as one does in front of god...It is not that all traditions and cultures are regressive...This is a very benign tradition and in my opinion doesn't cause any harm to anyone...