20/3 Written Updt+AnalysisUnit :ArYa's Ganesh Puja - Page 8

Went through all the updates and marvelous takes by all.👏

Originally posted by: InduG64

Went through all the updates and marvelous takes by all.👏

One of the points of the discussion of the day was the presence of the children. I feel they had to be shown in some way (I mean they couldn't be invisible all the time). Also, just that little kiddy confrontation showed that the kids were marking their own territory. No one seems to realize that these three imps have to undergo a lot of adjustment themselves. Their secure lives are going to go all topsy-turvy.This was just the beginning.

Very well said Ingake. You articulated beautifully what I felt. Yes, in our families, kids are taken for granted---"children are to be seen, and not heard." We don't do justice to their thinking prowess (so what if they're small), and in a way impose our decisions on them. Here, the kids were not allowed to interact before the wedding (hell, neither did the parents)------is it the kids' fault that the would-be parents are too self-engrossed in their emotional turmoils to realize that in this marriage-for-the-kids scenario, the principal characters (the kids) were out of the periphery. You can't make your son happy by getting him a father Aarti, because the father comes with the daughters, and vice versa----it's a package deal.

finally got time to post ...am shocked at the twist but I guess the CVs will keep the MUs on ...nothing is going to get resolved before marriage it seems 😡
😡
i loved GC/Yash new hairstyle ...hope he keeps it and dosent change ...sigh ...😛

I was rofling at only one comment made by GC in that IF video he will teach Mantra, Shlok and Padhai ( what Padhaai i dont know though Fitness and body building ka maybe) for Ansh hahhahha and conveniently forgot his daughters .😉

@all guys loved all ur superb analysis.
Thanx for making my day.
U all rock.

@Indu and Angake: A very interesting discussion about the kids. It is so true that kids of this age in a traditional context are not given much of a voice. But even in this show I think we can see a contrast between Yash's children and Aarti's child.

Ansh is a little impulsive and over-excitable when it comes to his new dad but over all it seems that he is a fairly well-brought up boy. He has been allowed to speak for himself and take responsibility for his own actions. When he rams into Gayatri he immediately follows Aarti's instruction for him to say sorry and even adds a childish but sincere request for her to smile. I think this shows his upbringing, where he has mainly interacted with adults and is comfortable speaking to them. I also get the feeling that he sees himself as the "man of the house" and is defensive of his mother and very considerate of her feelings.

But I do agree that Aarti tries too hard to be his friend and sometimes forgets to be his parent. But it is ok at this stage of his life, when his antics are still endearing.

On the other hand, Payal and Palak have no sense of responsibility given how Yash treats them like porcelain dolls and defends them even when they are in the wrong. We discussed this when he exploded at Ramdulare in the first few episodes. Sure he repented his rashness later, but the girls didn't see that. To me the fact that Payal stuck out her tongue at Aarti was much more offensive than Ansh running into Gayatri by accident. It was a conscious act of malice towards an intrusion that she did not welcome in their relationship with their dad.

But here again we can see that while Ansh was respectfully standing away from the Puja, Payal and Palak ran towards their dad and he welcomed them! This gave Ansh license to do the same and he was further pushed by Payal's gesture of exclusion to Aarti to stake their claim on Yash. Unlike Ansh who sees this marriage as a way to get a new father of which he feels the lack, Payal and Palak see it as a need to share their father which they hate and are ambivalent about the new mother, which they don't really feel the lack of, growing up in a joint family.

We see again that Ansh is a critical thinker. When Gayatri orders him outside he immediately asks why Payal and Palak are allowed to be there when he isn't. On the other hand, Payal and Palak immediately obey their dadi when she tells them to play outside. So I think that while Ansh is a little bit badmash, he is essentially a well brought up kid, but maybe with an independent, contrary streak that he gets from mama dear. However he is at an age where that can be worked on so this PV comes at just the right time. Payal and Palak are also well brought up in one sense as they are clearly very obedient children but tend to act out in front of their dad, probably for attention and because he lets them.

---😳---

I just realised how long this got. 😆

Anyway point is that the kids also have a lot to learn and a lot to adjust to. Ansh will learn how to deal with other kids on a daily basis and maybe learn to be more of one himself. Payal and Palak will interact with an adult who treats them as an equal for the first time in Aarti and this will teach them to think more closely about their actions and feel responsible for them.

I forgot to add, I loved that split second of sympathy between Yash and Aarti when the kids were finally driven out. For the second time (the first time being the mall where Yash silently begged Aarti for help and she rose to the occasion), the two of them actually connected and it was in that common feeling of embarrassment over their kids' behaviour. I guess it stresses that this will be the major initial bonding factor between the two. Dealing with the overflowing handful of three kids leaves no room for doubts and inhibitions. Teamwork will be the order of every day!

That was quite a thought-provoking take Samana. I agree with you totally. Well, one glaring reality that comes afore in this contrast in upbringing of Ansh vis-a-vis Payal/Palak is one's parent is a Mother and the others' a Father---if you know what I mean---women being a natural at nurturing. That's why Ansh comes out tad better where behaviour is concerned. On the other hand, after Arpita's demise, the li'l girls may have had many to look after their needs, but they were all caregivers, not nurturers; Yash did try to do the needful, but he had his shortcomings, and the girls were only amused at his "I can be a mother too" efforts (the hair oiling scene). So, we have Ansh, who knows exactly why he wants a father, and then there are the the girls who have never shown any inclination of wanting a mother (at least, we weren't shown any such wish).

@Samanalyse- Just loved your analysis on the kids . Yes your are absolutely right about the entire thing about Ansh and Yashs daughters and the way a single mother and a single father deal with issues in life.

@Indu: Well there was that one dialogue after the hair/oil incident where I think Payal asked when their mother was coming to do these things. But like I said at the time, I think this was her parroting what she had heard from her female relatives, rather than an actual desire for a mother, ie she felt a lack of a mother through words and description, not through personal experience.

But I think you summed the whole issue up beautifully with just those two words, nurturer vs. caregiver. While Aarti is an excellent nurturer, she fails to achieve balance and tends to over compensate on the care-giving side, through material things that Ansh asks for, because of her desperation to prove that she can be his father and his mother. This desperation costs her the discernment of what he needs vs. what he wants.

On the other hand, like you said, Yash's family fall short in the nurturing department, one because of their lifestyle and two because they are too busy to give time to the girls. Yash does try to fulfill this nurturing role but I think his own awkwardness with words makes it hard for him to communicate easily with kids, which I believe is an entirely different method of communication. Any questions by his children have been answered by possessive embraces and silence, which is not a language that children are able to decipher.

But I guess this is also why the girls feel much less of lack in their lives. What they are missing is something intangible so they can't properly feel its lack. However, Ansh's wants are much more literal.