Originally posted by: soapbubble
Kool,
just a couple of reactions to your basic premise - I meant to read through all the pages but didn't so sorry if I'm repeating stuff that people have said.
You talk of "faaltu feminism" and 'nakhras' that seem to be the trend in serials these days. Well, first of all, sorry I find that a bit offensive. No, I'm not a rabid feminist and don't think that a whole series of unreasonable attitudes should be okayed under the Feminist stamp. But I find it very perturbing when women don't or refuse to understand issues that affects their own gender or are callous about feminine fears or points of view.
Yes, you're right. Arranged marriages in India are not accompanied by great sensitivity. Girls are married off to men they don't know or even to men they don't like. They are not expected to have a say in when consummation occurs. They are expected to be ready and to get on with it. In most cases they do so. They live, they breed, they die. BIG DEAL. I'm paraphrasing you here - but this is what I felt you said.
But thanks to feminism (I'm not talking of the great movement and hoopla here - just the idea that a woman has a voice which can express her feelings), things are changing. Pooja Gor said in an interview that the name of the serial was very significant. She said Man ki Awaaz refers to the fact that women in our country are obliged to keep quiet in most cirmcumstances - they almost NEVER say what is in their heart. That the name of the serial was a salute to a woman who listened to her 'man ki awaaz'.
I think we all accept that men and women have different attitudes to sex. Men are almost always ready, less particular about who, where or even why. It is not necessarily an emotional act. With most women, it is an emotional bond. They have more to lose. Some women are more sensitive than others. If they want to wait till they feel comfortable, what is wrong with that? Surely it's reasonable? And if the man in question is a good man, a man who is concerned with his wife's feelings - he will be ok with it. Where is the problem? If he is not and forces her before she is ready, she will resent him, fear him. It's a simple matter of sexual trust, isn't it - the very foundation of a loving marriage?
Someone said on this thread that Krishna is even more noble, even more of a man because he's willing to wait. I agree wholeheartedly. He has tried to force her, yes, but he has held back because at one corner of his mind, he knows that he wants Pratigya to succumb fully, with her mind, body and heart - only conquering her body before SHE is ready is not enough for him.
Bubble
Soap bubble
You have misunderstood me my dear . I have not called the movement of feminism as faaltu . I have called Feminism wrongly comprehended as 'faaltu feminism' which many women conveniently resort to , to do gross injustice and manmaani . I am not even talking of Pratigya , a fictional character when I am explaining this sentence to u right now. Expressing feelings is not just the right of women , it is also the right of men .......in short , the right of eVERY human being . Demanding that everything shud be on the woman's terms alone cannot be real feminism in my opinion . Neither is insulting men . Women hate being slapped but resort to slapping men when they themselves feel justified , which is in my opinion unfair , as what is justifiable or not is a highly subjective matter . A woman may get in a crowded bus just like a man after 8 hours of a working day and may expect a man to get up and give her the seat due to chivalry but may not get up and give her seat to a man the next day if he gets in at the later stop . There the 'I am a woman after all ' thing comes in the picture . Thats what I call faaltu feminism , and I am NOT talking of a pregnant woman here .
Looking strictly at this serial , I felt , a lot of understanding has been shown from the man's side , in a rustic , crude , shambled way , of trying to understand a woman's psyche but none has been shown from the woman's side at all ..........the attempt to understand a man's psyche , inspite of she being blessed with a helpful tool called education that enables one to understand things better .
I have great respect for feminism ........I deplore chauvinism , and I cannot stand feminism comprehended wrongly [ what i called faaltu feminism] so I put it on the same leverage as Chauvinism . Krishna talks chauvinistically but his actions are egoless and bely his parrot like talks. He has no problem touching his wife's feet in the mandap , working with her in the kitchen , saying SARRY to her in private or public , placating her if he has miffed her . Pratigya's rigid , unbending stand and constant preaching and sermonizing comes across as 'faaltu feminism' ...........in real feminism , one works together with the man towards achieving a goal . Anyways , Let us see what happens further in the serial .
Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 15 years ago
Anupamaa
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
