KR OS: Broken Wings

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vaishali

@Vaish24

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

Aaahh.. Aisa laga jaise meri saari mehnat safal ho gayi!

I wont be a Nazi Vaish, because you don't need me to be. When you had told me that you were making her all virginal, I had opposed, but after reading this, it all felt so good. It just went with the flow and it was exactly apt. I am proud of you baccha!

The words used, you know now if and ever I can leave HI in your hands without a care in the world agar kabhi mera mann hua toh.. Cause, though I had my doubts, you vanished them all. It completely felt like reading a periodic piece of writing.

The way she wanted to venture out into the unknown.. The way he was unable to control himself. Insanely beautifully described.

And my favorite line was obviously the one in italics! He was only human.

Ekdum pappi le le badi wali! Amazingly written.

Accha, in case you want to continue it, I think you should go how Ami suggested. I even have an idea for it. But then, its upto you whether you even want to continue it or not.

The open endedness of this I appreciate too. Makes one think what'd happen next!

Muaah!! :*

Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 11 years ago

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akanksha

@sharif_lafungi

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

I cant tell how beautifully u hv penned it down...the song used was so soothing...cncpt was awesome...rey desired her though she was his goddess...she lost herself by sleeping wid him..amazing job..kuddos to both of u...b.d.w iska ek continuity part milega kya..? I feel like yes

Edited by akankshaArsha - 11 years ago

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Fida

@aTTiTude_dIvA

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

...

Ohkk... pehle toh this is far from what I thought u would write..

I have'nt exactly seen u write such stuff...that takes us the mythical way... giving that ancient feel..

I liked it.. something different from your side..

And the way they were potrayed here.. Did give that magical...almost non existent feel..

Umm..and the 'session' did have some erotic touch..

I am guessing ki you have went through a lot to actually execute this plot into a decent OS :)

All in all..it was good..

I'm not actually into such kinda stories.. I mean which takes us into a whole different world.. close to fairy tales, yet far from it.

i liked the end.. the way you finally bought us back to earth😆

Though I dint know why did he feel like hiding when he saw her losing her powers and waking up? guilt?

I think this deserves a second part... Though i know you kinda left it on our imagination..

But for some reason I would like all to come to the same conclusion...same feel..

a proper wala end by you? *expectantly*

Good going.. And ho sake toh another part? :) :**

Edited by aTTiTude_dIvA - 11 years ago

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Akanksha

@Effacious

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

res...wil comment thru PC

unres...

I must say Vaish this was somthing which i just not expected.. for haaye rama anniversary...

but..well that doesnt mean ki i dont want that one which i asked u to write.. 😛

and i want this song as well 😆

coming to it...

beautifully penned...like always...

at start i was like..what is this happening... 😲

but trusting u..i just went with the flow..and i loved it...

showing a relation b/w A Human and A Goddess... wow... what a concept.. *no credits to u for that* 🤣

and der was a line... ki she wanted to feel human touch...and...somthing like ki..he is just a human...

i just loved those lines...

it kinda reminded me of HI...

but haah.. amazingly written darling...

u r just amazing.. loved it.. 🤗

Edited by akanksha_arsha - 11 years ago

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nightlife1881

@Priyanka_G14

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

res

unres

awesome os

ps if possile continue it as an ss or an ff plz

Edited by dollydua - 11 years ago

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Sanskriti

@SanskritiS

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Amazing OS 😊

Beautifully penned

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Yogini

@yogini64

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Superb work vaishu...👏

Itne high level concepts... human n goddess relationship..😲

Lol... I so knew it.. u n anki have quite similar choice... ye tum 2 duniya ka milan hi kyun karate rehte ho vaise?? 😆

Vaise rey ka basic motive clan ki prosperity hi tha na??? ... lol..😉

Ya 2nd wish pe neeyat finally kharab ho gyi ... aur baat touch karne pe aa gyi... rofl... 🤣

She's the goddess... so naive... usse pata nhi tha kya ki wat he desires...😳

Isse kehte hai--- ungli di toh haath hi pakad liya... rofl... itni himmat aa gyi usme...😛😆😆

Lol.. bahot udda li... but seriously... he's driven by her beauty that he couldn't control but to demand a mere touch...😊

But that touch actually lead them to the fulfillment of his desires n her fresh desires.. wat she never ever felt before... awww

She could have stopped him... but her own heart betrayed her voice ... this touch of love is surely the greatest one...👍🏼

But isn't it being selfish on his part that due to him.. she lost all her powers... he knew that would happen right??

Altough I know your answer for this track.. still.. meko puchna hi tha...😆