There's a better place than this... Emptiness"
As I entered through the large gates of our house, I saw everything was the same, the sofas, the table, and the walls but now just their condition was different. As I went further I saw our family photo, Arnav was on your lap and Aadya on mine. Small tears started streaming through my eyes as I set the picture back in place. Moving my hands through the picture I recalled back into the moment when we were one happy family. When you and me used to fight who loves the kids more, when you would take Arnavs side and I would take Aadiya and when we would stay up little till night for the kids but end up entertaining each other. Why Sharon, Why? Why did you leave me alone?
I heard our 2 little children jumping and moving around the house freely. Aadya even came upto me and asked me why didn't we live here, but in our small little 2 room flat. But I couldn't say a word. I didn't have the courage to tell my own daughter that her father was weak. That he didn't have the strength to live in the same house he shared some cherishing memories with her mother. But Aadya was just like you Sharon, as soon as she realized my silence was the answer to her question she left
I sat on our sofa again holding my hair tightly letting all the frustration melt. Why Sharon? Why couldn't I ever express my love for you? We were both married to each other for 4 years, but never did I gain that courage to walk up till you and express my feelings. Never did I in those 4 years make you ever feel special, but you, you never said a word. You never demanded any love, nor any time from me, you just simply moved on. And I, didn't stop you.
I still remember the very day I had finally accepted to myself that these 4 years that I had spent with you, meant something to me. Though we must have not had anything romantic in our relationship but just a simple gesture of you waiting for me to come home so that we could have dinner together made our relationship special. We had an arranged marriage like many of the Indians do in India following all the tradition. I wont say it was a compromise as we leaded a healthy married life. But maybe a relationship where you just pass 2 smiles to each other everyday and maybe share a laugh once a month suffocated you. I had come back home with a bouquet of red roses and a heart shaped pendant in my hand. When I entered I shouted your name but I didn't get any response. Another 1 or 2 shouts but I just got the answer of the 2 children. I went up till their room and saw them painting something. When I went closer I saw them painting a picture of our family together. A smile automatically started playing upon my lips. Though the painting wasn't perfect but it was more than anything for me. When I asked them why this sketch all of a sudden, the answer left me in shock " Voh mumma aaj se hamare saath nahin rahegi, isliye yeh picture hum apne paas hamesha rakhenge" they said as they cuddled their beautiful drawing. I stood there frozen not knowing how to react. Those children were maybe too small to understand anything but the news left me in pieces. The children handed me a letter that was given to them y their mother and without even shooting a glance to them I hurried over to my room to read the letter.
After I finished the letter I was broken. I couldn't speak a word I couldn't talk to anyone. I just kept myself enclosed in my room for months till I realized how much my children were suffering because of this. Sharon had left us all alone for good and I had to realize for my children, I was their only support, I was their mother as well as their father. Though if I wanted I could have gone and found her that time, but I didn't have any right to do so. I didn't have a face with which I could even go in front of her. I let her slip through my fingers, letting her live her life.
That day onwards I started to pretend strong infornt of my children. I Even shifted the 3 of us out of the house. I would drop them everyday to school and pick them up as well. Every Sunday my priority would be only and only them. My sole reason for living life was only and only them. But every year, on the 6th of December I wouldn't forget to come here and celebrate Sharons birthday with her. She may not be present in this house virtually but somewhere a part of her does lie here. My thoughts were disturbed when I heard the footsteps of my driver entering the house.
He came inside with a cake in his hand and he placed it infront of me. I called the children as well and we cut her favorite black forest cake singing the happy birthday song. We fed the cake to each other and gave the rest to be distributed to the orphans. After the cake cutting was done, the children went towards the car and sat to leave. I took out a letter from my pocket and placed it on the table. Taking one last glance at the house i walked back till the car. The driver got off to lock the house again but I stopped him. "Is baar yeh ghar band nahin hoga." With that I sat back in my car and reached my place.
I went up till my room and crashed onto my bead. As I remembered the letter, tears again started sprinkling down my eyes. I shut my eyes letting the pain soak in. "Sharon, I know her. Im sure she visits the house once in a while, Im sure she will get the letter. " I said to myself. Telling her the truth wasn't easy, but she had to know. Afterall these were her children as well. I just had some months left but I didn't want their lives to be spoilt because of me. I hope Sharon, I hope you return for your children, I hope.
There is just another part of the OS which would be Sharon's point of view
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