Os Pyaar ki intehaan [chap 30 page 137

parmarA

@parmarA

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34

Posted: 11 years ago

#121

Originally posted by: Veenaper
The fourth chapter is truly awesome. Nidhi's jealousy and inherent fears have been depicted extremely well. Mallika listening to Nidhi's advice and then Jyotika making Nidhi understand her mistake and she in turn giving Mallika the much needed space - you have brought it out so beautifully.

The highlight ofcourse was Ashu Nidhi convo - he not forgetting to remind her about being punctual and she being impressed with his adherence to the rules. Ashu bringing out the depth of Arman-Mallika friendship and comparing it to her parents' relationship was amazing. Nidhi in tears for failing to read her sister's turmoil and Ashu in dire straits not able to stop her from crying and saying that he can even control a battalion but not a woman's tears - this was superb. Loved Ashu offering his hanky to dry Nidhi's tears - both of them are surely warming up to each other.

Jytika tried to convience her but not success fully.Ashu's simple words bolo thoda aur samazo jyada.He is truely a reserve man.But he can see the pain and tention in Nidhi's eyes.

Totally army man but zero to understand a woman.And really you wil see the transiction of the character that how he will understand the relation of nidhi and his.It will be treat to read.[at least i will try to make it good]

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parmarA

@parmarA

Sparkler

34

Posted: 11 years ago

#122

Originally posted by: Veenaper
Super loved this update Alka 👍🏼. The way Arman bares his heart out and proposes to Mallika - the lines are outstanding and suits his character so well. Mallika and Nidhi are perfectly understanding each other's needs. The shopping and Jyotika's comments about the colour combination catch Ashu and Nidhi unawares.

The engineering major brothers are highly decorated officers of the army and both the sisters impressed with their achievements. Ashu and Nidhi seeking out each other - he noticing the favourite colours that she has worn and she admiring his handsome persona - superb narration.

Waiting eagerly for the 6th chapter.

Armaan knew what mallika bears in her life?and he was the solo witness of her tears in boarding school.So he just wanted to make mallika happy.That is Armaan cute and lovely person

Armaan and ashu are too talented by all sides.He and nidhi discovering new relationship.

I will give my update soon.But you know deewali preparation na?

But will try for sure

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Veenaper

@Veenaper

Voyager

17

Posted: 11 years ago

#123

Originally posted by: parmarA
Armaan knew what mallika bears in her life?and he was the solo witness of her tears in boarding school.So he just wanted to make mallika happy.That is Armaan cute and lovely person

Armaan and ashu are too talented by all sides.He and nidhi discovering new relationship.

I will give my update soon.But you know deewali preparation na?

But will try for sure

Hey Alka please take your time. I know you are extremely busy with Diwali preparation. I started this OS on Bawa's advice and am so glad to have read all the updates now. Your OS is based on a fresh and beautiful concept - love the way you are depicting the story. This OS definitely has the makings of an FF. My best wishes to you once again.

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parmarA

@parmarA

Sparkler

34

Posted: 11 years ago

#124

Originally posted by: Veenaper

Hey Alka please take your time. I know you are extremely busy with Diwali preparation. I started this OS on Bawa's advice and am so glad to have read all the updates now. Your OS is based on a fresh and beautiful concept - love the way you are depicting the story. This OS definitely has the makings of an FF. My best wishes to you once again.

Thank you to you and bawa both.thank you for your wishes too.🤗

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parmarA

@parmarA

Sparkler

34

Posted: 11 years ago

#125

Originally posted by: Diksha_1991
Wow!! Fabulous update. 👏 👏
Loved it..

Waiting eagerly next update..

Thank you Diksha

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pansy123

@pansy123

Dazzler

23

Posted: 11 years ago

#126

Wonderful OS Alka Ji! 👏

The title...if the 'pyar' in it fascinates me... the 'imtehaan' in it gives me creeps.

The first part portrays happy family life and reminds me of Leo Tolstoy's, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". Malika is having a past akin to show's Ashutosh. Loved Malika- Nidhi bonding. And also loved Arman- Ashutosh bonding in the second part. Professions have changed but their characterization is same as in the show. In third part you have shown us jealous Nidhi...possessive about her sister...hmn...I think that will help a bond between Ashu and Nidhi. she has already shared her concern with him. And he is scared to see her tears.

And what a way to propose!

Armaan: Kya tum officially mere credit card pe kabja karna chahogi?

Kya tum apna agla karwa chauth ka wrat mere haath se pani pikar kholna chahogi?

Kya tum meri alamaari share karna chahogi?

Loved the camp fire...lovely OS! story is progressing nicely.

Awesome! waiting for more...

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parmarA

@parmarA

Sparkler

34

Posted: 11 years ago

#127

Originally posted by: pansy123

Wonderful OS Alka Ji! 👏

The title...if the 'pyar' in it fascinates me... the 'imtehaan' in it gives me creeps.

The first part portrays happy family life and reminds me of Leo Tolstoy's, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way". Malika is having a past akin to show's Ashutosh. Loved Malika- Nidhi bonding. And also loved Arman- Ashutosh bonding in the second part. Professions have changed but their characterization is same as in the show. In third part you have shown us jealous Nidhi...possessive about her sister...hmn...I think that will help a bond between Ashu and Nidhi. she has already shared her concern with him. And he is scared to see her tears.

And what a way to propose!

Armaan: Kya tum officially mere credit card pe kabja karna chahogi?

Kya tum apna agla karwa chauth ka wrat mere haath se pani pikar kholna chahogi?

Kya tum meri alamaari share karna chahogi?

Loved the camp fire...lovely OS! story is progressing nicely.

Awesome! waiting for more...

Thank you very much pansy for your lovely feedback.Yes,armaan is too much cute but matured here.And his style must be unique and i gave that style to him

I will try to give next update soon

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parmarA

@parmarA

Sparkler

34

Posted: 11 years ago

#128

Part 6

Congrates Bawa for your promotion to be father.

Armaan,ashu,nidhi,mallika,jyotika,rohan aur aman sab log Rann utsav ki sight pe aa gaye.

Nidhi aur malllika toh woh khubsurati dekhke kho gaye.Har taraf tents lage hue the aur light ki khubsurat roshni unhe aur bhi khubsurat bana rahi thi.

Tabhi Armaan ne mallika ko puchha,"tumhe garba khelna aata hai?"

Mallika: kya?

Armaan: are garba nahi toh dandiya raas khelna aata hai?

Mallika: Armaan,yeh kya keh rahe ho tum?main aur dance?

Armaan: Tumne agar kuchh nahi dekha toh kuchh nahi dekha.Abhi toh raat hui hai yahaa cultural programme aur camp fire hoga.Lekin yahaa subah sabere aawo toh camel ki sawari ka majaa le sakte hai.

Mallika: humare aise naseeb kahaa armaan?hume toh subah hospital aur oT dekhne ki aadat hai.

Armaan: mallika,life abhi khatam toh nahi hui.Socho ki ab se tumhari khubsurat zindagi ki shuruat ho rahi hai.I will promise you ki main har saal tumhe yahaa leke aaoonga.Haa kaam bhi jaroori hai.Lekin zidagi me kuchh khubsurat yaden bhi chahiye.

Yahaa Nidhi aur Ashu Garba dance ka majaa le rahe the.Kafi bheed thi aur woh sare bheed ke beech me hi khade the.

Ashu ki najar aaj nidhi se hat nahi rahi thi.Woh khub koshish karta najare ghumane ki lekin uska dil baar baar uski najaro ke saath hi ghumne laga.

Aur jab bhi woh nidhi ki taraf dekhta.Nidhi bhi use dekh rahi thi.Dono ki aankhe milti aur woh dono apni najare ghuma lete.

Thodi der hone ke baad Mallika nidhi ke paas aayi aur boli,"Nidhi,khana khane chale?"

Nidhi: ha di,bhuk toh lagi hai.Aap Armaan ji se puchh lijiye na ki yahaa kahaa achha khana milta hai?

Armaan tabhi aaya aur usne kahaa," hey bhagwan,main toh raste me kahi bhhi jahaa khana mile kha leta hoo lekin yeh mera bhai thoda choosy hai.Use pakka pata hoga ki yahaa healthy aur achha khana kahaa milta hai?

Ashutosh: Muze nahi pasand aata kahi par bhi khana.Main jab bhi yahaa aata hu aur jab man karta hai toh yahaa ka kathiyawadi khana khata hoo.Lekin woh bhi Hotel Toran Hall ka.Chalo bhai hum sab wohi chalte hai.

Aur ashu ne hotel phone kiya aur sab khana khane pahooch gaye.

Hotel Toran Hall puri tarah se Gujarati sache me dhala hua tha.Sab jagah Mitti ke bartan sajaye hue the.Lalten ki roshni bhi saath me thi aur sare waiter pure Gujarati attire me the.

Nidhi aur mallika toh is mahol me paheli baat aayi thi.Use toh yeh sab pasand aa gaya tha.

Tabhi hotel ka manager ashu ke pas aaya aur bola,"Hi Major,chaliye aapka table ready hai.Aapka phone milte hi table laga diya tha maine.Woh swiming pool ke pas jo aapka fav corner hai.

Sab log dining table pe baith gaye.Ittefaak se Ashu ki seat Nidhi ke baju aagai kyonki Rohan jyotika ke baju me baith gaya.Mallika ne nidhi ko apne pas bulaya lekin use Armaan ke pas baithe dekhkar usne kahaa,"di main yaha theek hoo."

Tabihi waiter ek katori lekar ashu ke pas aaya aur bola,:yeh lo sahab,aapka pine-apple achar.Aapke aane ka pata chalte hi humne turant bana diya tha.

Nidhi was shocked and impressed

Nidhi: dheere se ] Major ashutosh!ab kya yeh kal ki breaking news me aayega ki Maj Ashutohs ko pine-apple ka achar pasand hai.

Ashutosh: toh isme aapka bhi naam jod du kya?

Nidhi: kya?

And they both started laughing.

Armaan: koi camera lao.Humare muchhad aur khadoos major hans rahe hai.Yeh banjar jameen pe yeh barish kaisee?Yeh toh kal ki Breaking news honi chahiye

Nidhi: nahi armaanji,kal ki ek aur bhi breaking news hai.

Aur sab hansne lage

Sab log hotel aa gaye aur Armaan aur mallika ne ek dusreko bye keh diya.Ashutohs aur nidhi ek dusreko dekhte khade rahe the.Tabhi armaan uske pas aaya aur bola,"chal ashu."

Hotel room me

Mallika: Nidhi,muze tumse kuchh kehena hai.

Nidhi: main janati hoo ki aapko muzse kya kehena hai?

Mallika:Kya?

Nidhi: aapko armaan ji ne propose kiya hai.

Mallika: tumhe kaise pata?tumhe armaan ne kahaa kya?

Nidhi: di,main aapki parchhai hoo.Aapki har hansi ka karan main samazti hoo.Aapke bolne se pahele aapki aankhe bol deti hai.Aapka chehera bol deta hai.main aapki facereader hoo di.Zindagi ki jis khushi ke bareme aapne socha bhi nahi tha woh khushi aapko mili hai uska gawah hai aapka yeh face di.I can see that happiness on your face.

Mallika: lekin dar lagta hai nidhi.DB baba

Nidhi: di,muzpe yakeen hai?apne pyaar pe yakeen hai?Di armaanji aapke liye fully suitable hai.Toh just relaxe kijiye aur kuchh mat sochiye.

Nidhi apne kamare me aayi aur fresh up hokar bed pe so gai aur sochane lagi,"muze yeh kya ho gaya hai?mera zindagi ko dekhne ka najariya hi badal gaya hai.Kya kashish hai ashutosh ki aankhome unki bato me?Unki soch me ab meri soch shamil ho jati hai.Unkee kahi bate mere liye anmol ho jati hai.Kahi main unse pyaar toh nahi karne lagi.

Aur tabhi nidhi ka dil jor se dhadak gaya.

Yahaa ashu bhi khidaki me khade soch raha tha: Kyon Nidhi ki har baat ab muze achhi lagne lagi hai?unse najare hatane ka man hi nahi karta?uanki hansi me charo jahaa ki khushi mil jati hai muze?kya itne salo sambhala dil unka hone laga hai?Kya muze pyaar hone laga hai?

Uske dil ne bhi ek aah bhari

Tabhi ashu ke dil se aawaz aayi,"agar dil me pyaar hai toh ikrar karo.Dil ke jajbaat bayaan karo.Aur kya hoga woh na kahegi.Lekin hume toh tasalli ho jayegi ki maine dil ke jajbato ko dabaya nahi.Main kal hi nidhi ko bataoonga

Nidhi: muze unhe bata dena chahiye ki mere dil me kya hai?jyada se jyada woh na kahenge?lekin mere dil ka boj toh halka ho jayega.Main kal hi unse baat karooongi

Chandni raat bhi isi intejaar me hai ki kab yeh do sitare mile aur main in sitaro ke milne ka najara dekhu

Har imtihaan ka mukammal jahaa hota hai

Dil me jab aaye mohobbat tab hi toh jajbaat ka kahaa hota hai.

Edited by parmarA - 11 years ago

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