datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#1
Inspiration: The title 'a thousand mirrors' was a prompt for a poetry contest. I really liked it and decided to write a flash fiction based on it. Here it goes…

A Thousand Mirrors (28 October 2006)

She moves on the stage effortlessly, like a butterfly moving from one flower to another. A picture perfect stance, a crisp jump and a split jump to end this mesmerizing affair.
The stadium thunders with claps.

Back stage she's greeted with hugs and appreciation. Her agent was trying to put off the crowd when a gentleman barges his way through it.

'Ma'am, that was a wonderful performance, I...'

She cuts the gentleman short by saying 'Thank You', expecting him to leave her alone. But he still stands there, even as her agent is motioning him to leave.

He begins to leave, but turns back one last time, 'Just make sure that in your next dance your eyes don't give away your sadness,' saying this he walks away leaving the dancer alone with her sorrow.

And she thought only her bedroom mirror knew about her scars! Perhaps, there are a thousand mirrors that know about it too, one of them - this man, but not all mirrors tell the truth!

(169 words)
(c) Preeti Datar

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Tearðrops thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#2
Wow Preeti once again very nice! I enjoyed reading it. Your stories are always very meaningful which is why i like reading them. 😊
datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#3
awww thanks azzy! *hugs*
I do hope you read this one too - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=535712

^^ I think it's eaven better. Sorry i sound so full of myself..but its my choice..lol 😆
coolniyu thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#4
hiya>>awesome story!! ill just go chek out the link now 😉
Morgoth thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#5
I personally found this story much better than Lakshmi - plot-wise. I think you just need to tighten up the ending a bit for this one and it will be perfect :)
Naina_Manam thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#6
Hmm... wow, Preets, I agree Flash fiction is really hard to write but you have done a good job... it's kind of fiction where you leave the reader thinking, which is a great technique!
datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: T.

I personally found this story much better than Lakshmi - plot-wise. I think you just need to tighten up the ending a bit for this one and it will be perfect :)



Now, that's what I had been looking for, a comment that'd help me grow. Tighten up the ending, does that mean i reduce the size? or don't make the inherent message so apparent, and let the reader decide what i intended to convey?

Originally posted by: naina_manam

<span>Hmm... wow, Preets, I agree Flash fiction is really hard to write but you have done a good job... it's kind of fiction where you leave the reader thinking, which is a great technique!</span>



Nains, I'm not really sure if this is pure flash fiction, lol, but I'm trying. Let's see how far i improve in this genre!

Preets
kitty468 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#8
hmm... i read it so many times but i dont get the meaning. or maybe its too late in the nite n my brain isnt working.
Morgoth thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: datspreets



Now, that's what I had been looking for, a comment that'd help me grow. Tighten up the ending, does that mean i reduce the size? or don't make the inherent message so apparent, and let the reader decide what i intended to convey? [/quote]

Yup :)

Prenz~13 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#10
another beautiful story preeti di! 👏
i liked this one better than the one about lakshmi, coz i luved the way you conveyed the meaning out...
its beautiful! 👏

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