Are women invariably forgiving?? - Page 2

Are women invariably forgiving??
Forgiveness has evolved as very necessary virtue since it primarily serves the forgiver. It's a more than just a "feel good factor" or an anger management technique. However, for women, forgiveness helps immensely to avoid confrontation, not with anyone else but mostly with their own anger and frustration over their social and economical limitations. From their very early years, young females observe and are taught, mostly indirectly, to make compromises to resolve conflicts with their male siblings and they soon learn that forgiveness is one necessary virtue to heal troubled relationships. This frameof mind has a definite shortcoming even if it makes women emotionally stronger and it qualifies as a mental weakness imho; it leads towards false sense of over confidence and lack of self esteem.
Some women howver, likes of Hillary Clinton, give this virtue of forgiveness whole new dimension because of ambition and concerns of their own future.

Generally speaking, women forgive men no more than they forgive someone else.

In relationships and marriages, women are more emotionally linked in romantic matters than man. Women forgive men because it's in their nature to look for the best in a man, (even if there's nothing there!). Also the nurturing quality in women makes forgiving natural choice. Consider the alternative, if women didn't forgive, human species would not stay alive..!!!!!!

Watch out..!!! She may say she forgives you, but in reality she has ammunition to use against you and it will be thrown back at your face. Women forgive but NEVER forget… Men on the hand never forgive but they forget, especially after a couple of beers.. 😆

Originally posted by: bhilwara

Are women invariably forgiving??
Forgiveness has evolved as very necessary virtue since it primarily serves the forgiver. It's a more than just a "feel good factor" or an anger management technique. However, for women, forgiveness helps immensely to avoid confrontation, not with anyone else but mostly with their own anger and frustration over their social and economical limitations. From their very early years, young females observe and are taught, mostly indirectly, to make compromises to resolve conflicts with their male siblings and they soon learn that forgiveness is one necessary virtue to heal troubled relationships. This frameof mind has a definite shortcoming even if it makes women emotionally stronger and it qualifies as a mental weakness imho; it leads towards false sense of over confidence and lack of self esteem.
Some women howver, likes of Hillary Clinton, give this virtue of forgiveness whole new dimension because of ambition and concerns of their own future.

I do not agree with above at all. Every religion preaches forgiveness and there is a saying " Give me strength to change things in my power, courage to accept those I can't and wisdom to know the difference"

Forgiving someone who has slipped out of character is the right thing to do. Clintons and Ekta's soaps exist in moral vaccum.

Forgiveness is more real and solid, if it comes out of understanding, empathy, knowledge, and putting oneself in the other's shoes.

[quote=lighthouse]Every religion preaches forgiveness[/quote]
Yes it preaches mercy for vengeance and it assums we are all sinners and only God is mighty powerful and supreme enough to judge and punish someone guilty but leaving out a very simple practical aspect of "cause and effect" notion that otherwise our society has implemented by establishing social norms and justice systems.

[quote=lighthouse] Forgiveness is more real and solid, if it comes out of understanding, empathy, knowledge, and putting oneself in the other's shoes.[/quote]
Well said. However my contention is when forgiveness becomes a frequent event in someone's life, when for the same reason over and over they forgive someone, then those women are not taking their rights very seriously. It's a psychological disorder. In those cases sublimated resentment and fear are interpreted as forgiveness. Most of physically abused or mentally tortured women's forgiveness fit into that category.

Originally posted by: bhilwara

However my contention is when forgiveness becomes a frequent event in someone's life, when for the same reason over and over they forgive someone, then those women are not taking their rights very seriously. It's a psychological disorder. In those cases sublimated resentment and fear are interpreted as forgiveness. Most of physically abused or mentally torturedwomen's forgiveness fit into that category.

Agreed. Repeatedly physically and mentally abused women who choose to stay in the relationship are in denial and hoping for things to change or cannot snap away due to lack of socio/economic support. The later group however succumb to depression.

Originally posted by: bhilwara

Yes it preaches mercy for vengeance and it assums we are all sinners and only God is mighty powerful and supreme enough to judge and punish someone guilty but leaving out a very simple practical aspect of "cause and effect" notion that otherwise our society has implemented by establishing social norms and justice systems.

Forgiving in domestic situations of infidelity or mental abuse and forgiving for a murder or a crime is not the same. I have heard that families of 9/11 victims or murder victims in general are counseled and forgiving is a major part of therapy in dealing with the loss.

Bhilwara, wow.. you have rocking posts here!!

Originally posted by: abhijit shukla

Just my opinion...to my faminist co-debators...I already concede that I am wrong...so kindly spare me the 😳 or .
I am in a lot of trouble. Aren't I?😆

hehe.. Having started correctly, I'll proceed.
Kekta is a serial killer. The female protagonists in her serials are fake. I mostly prefer the negative women, because atleast they are for real!!! 'Vaidehi', which obviously is not Kekta's brain fart, is not forgiving at all. She is worth watching.
Moving on,

• Not all women are forgiving, neither should they be. Cheating, emotional abuse, physical abuse should not be forgiven.
  
• Women are neither weak, nor entirely dependent on their husband if they choose to be on their own. "Forgiveness", which is the fruit of "helplessness"/ "other ulterior motive" is questionable.
• Women are gullible to believing how forgiving makes them the better / the higher person. Many a times it is true, but sometimes it is worth being the lower person and punish the man instead.
  
• Every marriage / relationeship requires both the partners to forgve the other over small matters. In my opinion, when a marriage involves cheating, fraud, murder, LOVE should not be enough. Love that takes emotional and physical abuse and injustice at every step is a highly over-rated (yeyy..😆 the O word) emotion depicted especially in Indian entertainement ( Jai-bani in Kasam Se.. all I say to that non-sense is "whatever!!" and yes I may be a hopeless romantic, but glad not to be Kekta's brain fart)

😳 😳
mQT

arrey no category of people genderwise or religion wise are more forgiving that the other..

Im not... a single sorry doesnt make up for anything..
and most people I know are not as well.. they may forgivve... but the attitude differs because the incident survives in their subconcsious..

our lives are more and more getting influenced by TV..
some women may get inspired by paragons on tv to act forgiving even if they are not actually so...

Are women invariably forgiving??

I don't forgive people easily!!

Originally posted by: Buffie

In most of the desi telenovelas,the female protagonist is always portrayed as forgiving..... All that the husbands/lovers are required to do is shed 2 buckets of tears,and plead..and the woman forgives..and the audience too want the hero to be forgiven.....the only reason being"they are still in love" 😛

Ekta makes some of her heroes behave in the most ruthless way with their wives..suspeting their loyalty and all...or cheating on the wife with another woman..throwing the woman out of home,and then plead her to return....Maligning the wife etc..but yet,women invariably are made to forgive😕

Now,this topic is not about the ekta soaps,its about the forgiving nature of women.......

My question is.....Are women in reality too,as forgiving as the ones ones we see on celluloid and tube....How easy is it to forgive,especially when the spouse is accused of infidelity(albeit the soaps are just an exaggeration).....or for that matter,do women always forgive men who have inflicted hurt on them or have been egregiously wrong??.....Do women find it easier to forgive??Are women emotionally weaker than men are🤔

Is the adage "All's fair in love and war" applicable to practical life....🤔

your views😊

To err is human to forgive is divine.... why do women wont want this divinity and also why do they want to be like men for heavens sake.... men dont change do they?????

Regarding "alls fair in love and war" was supposed to be used by the lovers against the rest of the world not against each other... man isnt this world sinking already...😆

Originally posted by: abhijit shukla

One possible dynamic is this. When the matters are decided through discussion and common consent---women end up havingtheir way through 😃 or 😉 or 😡 or or 😔 or if all else fails, 😭. Not a rule - just a trend.
So men figure...it is easier to ask for forgiveness afterwards than ask for consent beforehand. They figure the only way to get their way is to Not discuss things at all - that way they can enjoy the result of their decision without going through the discussion they are more than likely to lose. Oh, how wrong they are in this assumption!
Just my opinion...to my faminist co-debators...I already concede that I am wrong...so kindly spare me the 😳 or .

I am in a lot of trouble. Aren't I?😆

I agree completely with the views of Abhijit Ji!