Posted:
I have been reading a lot about how Purvi ought to feel grateful enough to Onir to accept his bigamous status ( if indeed that is true ) or how she should not feel devastated simply because she has a past too and so on!
I am going to do a bit of psychoanalysis here. I could be completely off the mark but this is based on my understanding of human behaviour. In my opinion, gratitude queers the pitch in a marriage. A relationship between two people should be a level playing field. The minute emotions like gratitude, obligation etc enter a marriage, the relationship becomes strained. In real life, I don't think anybody, be they men or women, wants to live with somebody whose feet they feel obliged to wash everyday. Somebody who is a constant reminder of how small they are, how worthless they are as humans in comparison. Practically speaking, everybody has a healthy sense of self worth. Or ego. They want to be with people who make them feel good about themselves. This is not to say that they want to be worshipped at all costs. While most people are amenable to reason and would like their spouses to be honest with them, they wouldn't like being made to feel a lesser person all the time. This does not even have to be done intentionally. But when you are living with a man or woman who makes you feel that you are simply not good enough for them, not verbally or by action but simply by being the people they are, then the relationship is definitely in trouble. However wonderful the person, you are bound to grow resentful of them after a point simply because they remind you of your own imperfections or mistakes. In the long run, this could well be the reason for a relationship to break down.
If I were Purvi, I would be angry with Onir not because I loved him but because he had made me feel small and indebted to him for too long. He had made me feel guilty about my past baggage while cleverly concealing that he had baggage of his own. When our idols fall, we feel the most pain and anger. Onir not being the perfect human being is a sort of betrayal for Purvi who idolated him as one. Here she thought that she had at last found a human being who was so perfect in every way only to find he had feet of clay too. So, the anger is directed at him as well as herself for buying into his image. That is where the sense of betrayal comes from. Her own so called tainted past is not a factor here at all. Purvi suffers from such a low sense of selfworth anyway. This may not seem reasonable or right to a lot of people but then, who said humans are reasonable and right all the time!
Sampoorna
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