SS : Raison d'etre (Chapter 13 - P. 53) 25/03 - Page 10

First of all I apologize for not being able to update and also not being able to reply to your comments. I read and cherish them all but at the moment things are hectic in personal life, which made me stay away from IF for a while. I would hope to reply to all of your comments soon. Also, here is the next chapter. Do read and enjoy.

Chapter Six

She tapped her feet restlessly as she peered at her watch. All the cosmos conspired against her today, it seemed. She was already late to reach home, and losing herself in one of the annual reports and losing track of time and being late didn't help either. If Lavanya hadn't called her, she would have forgotten that she need to rush home for the preparations that needs to be done. After all it was Diwali. And she needs to be home since they were expecting guests. Apart from Lavanya and Saran, there was a family that was coming over for dinner. Suraj Uncle's family…

She adjusted her bag as she felt the familiar feeling of nervousness creep back. She closed her eyes and heaved a deep breath, driving all negative thoughts away, and tried to concentrate on the task at hand. She looked once again at her car which was a flat tire and decided to take a cab. Her car can be parked in the office for a night, not a big deal. Deciding on it, she started walking on foot out of the cellar when she felt a car stop before her.

She took a step back out of surprise and her surprise only increased when the tinted glasses rolled down and she saw her boss driving, who opened the front door for her in a silent command.

* * *

A melodious tune filled her hazy brain, as she shifted her position, a small smile playing on her lips. She recognized this tune… it was her Papa's favorite song, one of the old Bollywood classics.

She felt her smile deepen as the words hazy as they were drifted in her mind… accompanied by loud booms of crackers.

Crackers?

Her sleepy eyes flew open as she looked around confused. Not a moment later had she realized that she was so tired that she ended up falling asleep in the car, which her boss was driving.

She looked out of the window to find a Hindu temple they just crossed, where various Indians would be celebrating Diwali.

Diwali.

Her hand fled to her mouth as she looked at her watch in a jiffy. It was already quarter past seven. She checked her phone and found missed calls from Lavanya and her Papa. She was late, again, and if she didn't reach home before Suraj uncle's family, she will never be able to forgive herself…

"Ever heard of a deer caught in the headlights Miss. Gupta?" she heard him speak from beside her and she looked at him bemused.

"You look like one right now" he said and she couldn't miss the curve of his lips, indicating he was smiling.

She looked at her hands in her lap, embarrassed.

"Oh the deer has a pink hue on its cheeks?" She heard him laugh now, and she squeezed her eyes shut, thoroughly embarrassed.

She blinked her lashes after few moments, when the laughter subsided, and when she looked at him from the corner of the eyes, she saw him driving, with a smile pasted on his face, his eyes crinkled at the end with the onslaught of laughing lines.

For reasons unknown she couldn't tear her gaze away from him. He looked so happy, so joyous, that she felt her heart fill that somewhere she was the reason for that smile to be there. It didn't matter anymore that she made a fool out of herself to have the smile on his face…

"Care to share the joke Miss. Gupta?" she heard him which jerked her out of her reverie, and only then had she known that her eyes softened and her face held a smile while she was looking at him…

"N-Nothing Sir, I apologize" she stammered her words out looking away.

"Come on Miss. Gupta, don't be a spoil sport" she heard him say, a tinge of disappointment in his voice "We aren't employer-employee anymore. Not when we are outside office. You can say anything you wish to. I promise not to take it to heart"

She looked at him, and stared for a moment bemused, but then shook her head.

"It's nothing Sir. Really—"

"I told you we aren't employer employee at this moment" he said giving her a lopsided smile. "Alright, let us assume you and I don't know each other. Your car had a flat tire and I being the gentleman thought to give a ride to the lady. I am not Mr. Raizada, neither you're Miss. Gupta. Let us assume I am umm… take a name Miss. Gupta, any random name?"

She looked at him surprised for a moment. She had no idea whatever this was leading to; neither does she have any idea why she took the name in the next moment.

"Amar" she said her eyes lowering, as a strange nervousness crept in. "Amar" she murmured again.

There was a beat of silence before she heard his voice again "Amar. Nice name. And let us name you what, Meghna? That's quite an interesting choice, I must say after all you're choosing the role of a terrorist from Mani Ratnam movie now"

When she raised her eyes to meet his, there was that glint in his eyes, the laughing lines around his eyes visible. Of course, he was referring to the famous Bollywood flick Dilse starring Shahrukh Khan and Manisha Koirala as Amar and Meghna respectively.

The strange anxiety that clawed her heart whenever Amar or Arnav were clouding her mind together eased, as she slipped in the atmosphere he weaved around him…the aura of ease and happiness that always surrounded him, and always touched others…

"Okay" he said clearing his throat "I am Amar" he said looking towards her, straight in the eye. "And you Miss?"

"Meghna" the words slipped effortlessly from her mouth.

She felt his smile deepen as he shifted his gaze from her face, back to the road.

"So Meghna, since the drive is long and apparently boring, how about we play some game?"

"Game?" he heard her voice, and knew she was taken aback.

"Oh no, don't be scared. I am not going to suggest Antakshari and make your ears bleed" he said with a smile and she saw his eyes smiling at her in the same way they always do…

"You sing well" she said out of the blue and only when she saw his furrowed eyebrows had she understood what had she gotten herself into… what would she say when he asked how did she know? She can't of course tell him the moments when she was about to enter his cabin but stopped herself when she heard him humming a song, in that voice of his, that always made her hand stop at the door knob… which always made her lean across the door with her back pressed to it, the files clutched to her heart and listen with closed eyes…

"I am flattered Meghna, but I am surprised how you knew" she heard his voice now and she paused a beat before replying.

"I umm woke up to your humming if you remember" she said suddenly, realizing that it was his voice she woke up to…

"I see" he said solemnly "My voice does act as anti-lullaby. Should I go professional? So that poor mothers can use my CDs to wake up their lazy children?"

Though he wore a poker face, she couldn't help but see through the faade and see the amusement glint in his eyes and that was her undoing. She burst out laughing, in which he accompanied a moment later.

When their laughter subsided, she looked at him, still smiling "I think you should go professional, but not in a way you suggested. You should go professional in singing"

She saw the smile on his face waver for a minute before it came back to its place, but for some reason she felt the laughter in his eyes get replaced with something grave…

"What happened?" she asked cautious "Did I say something wrong?"

He remained silent and when she was about to apologize, she heard his voice which sounded distant now.

"As a child, it was my dream, to be a singer" he said and she observed he tried to sound unaffected but his tight grip on the gear rod gave him away.

"But being the eldest child I forgot I have some responsibilities to shoulder, some roles to be fulfilled" he said as a smile lingered on his lips, one she recognized as a wry smile…

She reached out to squeeze his hand that was on the gear rod, and he didn't resist her touch, like she thought he would. Rather, she felt his body relax, which made her grip over him tighten.

"It is the reason while I don't object when my younger brother wants to make his career in sports" he said as he met her gaze. "In fact I act as his coach at home, not letting him sleep properly, torturing him to go to practice" he laughed and she felt herself smile at the man before her… The more she knew him, the more her respect on him grew…

"What was your childhood dream Meghna?" she heard him ask.

It was embarrassing, and she felt herself flush, yet she saw his indulgent smile and couldn't help but disclose her secret to him.

"I wanted to be a painter"

She can say that caught him off guard, and he stared at her in bewilderment.

"I adored Leonardo Da Vinci and was astounded by his genius. He was not just a painter but a great thinker, his paintings incorporating his founding, and his studies in science. Apart from that his paintings had held a mystery which was not entirely solved even till date. As a child I wanted to be like him, incorporating knowledge in paintings which would hold a secret, which would be decoded if you use your brains…"

Her passionate speech ended as she caught his gaze and she looked away flushing. She might not mind if his gaze was mocking or he burst out laughing, but his eyes told a different tale. They seemed curious, and her heart skipped a beat knowing he was genuinely listening to whatever she was saying.

He looked at her with a tender gaze. Her wavy hair flowing softly, framing her face, a deep hue on her cheeks, she looked adorable. He could imagine her holding a paint brush in hand, her hairs tied into a messy bun, and a thoughtful look on her face, while she tried to paint a mystery that needs to be decoded.

Wasn't she adorable?

"I would like to have a look at your paintings Meghna," she heard him say and looked at him through her lashes "And who knows I might get lucky and decode a painting or two?" he said giving her a small wink, making her blush.

"And I would like to hear you sing"

Only when the words slipped out of her mouth had she realized what she spoke. She meant them, truly but she wouldn't have let him know that, only if she wasn't swayed by the spell he cast on her…

The car came to a halt and she winced knowing she had broken the spell probably. However, only when she looked out, had she realized they had reached her place and hence he stopped the car.

Murmuring a low thank you, she opened the car to get out of it, not meeting his gaze.

She was about to close the door but a voice stopped her… his voice…

"Abhi na jaao chod kar ke dil abhi bhara nahin"

She turned around and his gaze held hers, when the words slipped from his mouth in a melody she would never be able to forget in her life…

"Abhi na jaao chod kar ke dil abhi bhara nahin"

* * *

She walked silently into her home as his voice still rung in her head.

"Abhi abhi to aayi hoo abhi abhi to"

She had seen her Papa greet her with a bear hug and ask her to get ready, she had seen Lavanya walking from kitchen, probably helping her Papa in dishes, and giving her a warning glare.

"Abhi abhi to aayi ho bahar banke chhayi ho
Hawa zara mahak to le nazar jara bahek to le "

She faintly recognized her Papa patting her head and asking her to go change, and found herself nodding before walking into her room noiselessly.

"Ye shaam dhal to le zara"

Only when she was in the confines of her room, had she closed the doors behind her and stood that way for a long time, her eyes closed.

"Ye shaam dhal to le zara
Ye dil samhal to le zara
Main thorhi der jee too lun nashe ke ghuunt pi to lun"

She sat before her dressing table and the only thing she saw was her reflection staring at herself blankly.

"Nashe ke ghunt pi to lun abhi to kuchh kuchh kaha nahin
Abhi to kuchh suna nahin
Abhi na jaao chod kar ke dil abhi bhara nahin"

His voice rung inside her head, his gaze when he sung the song for her imprinted in her memory… the way he looked at her, made her believe that it was for her, the song, the words, it was meant for her, as if…he spoke them, meaning everything he uttered…

It looked like a herculean effort for her to walk away from him that moment, she felt his gaze linger on her back until she was near the door. She hadn't turned then, fearing what she would end up doing if she had. She tried holding on the thin thread of rationality and walked in and closed the door behind her, and after a moment of silence she heard the revving of a car engine followed by the sound of it driving away…

Why had she felt a pinch in her heart then, she had no idea. Why did she felt her heart sinking, she had no idea.

Why had she felt for him when he spoke of his childhood aspirations, she had no idea. Why had she told him a part of her, she would be embarrassed to tell anyone else, she had no idea.

Why was it so easy to be with him, why was it so frighteningly beautiful to be around him, why does her heart skip a beat every time he looked at her, why had she felt the need to stop and turn around instead of walking away from him, she had no idea.

She knew why she had took the name "Amar" for him. It was a reminder to herself to let her be aware of her present instead of being swayed by the emotions that surround her whenever he was near her… It was to remind herself that Arnav is a dream but Amar is her destiny. However, she could no more associate the name "Amar" without remembering this car ride of theirs…

She looked back into the mirror and raised her eyes to touch the corner of her eyes to feel wetness there. Was she crying? She had never realized…

Why was she crying anyway? She knew it before the ride why Suraj uncle's family was coming, she knew it long back that it was her unofficial Roka ceremony where she would be promised to another man…

Another man…

Only when she had realized the word had she understood which man she was going to get betrothed to and which man she could probably never be able to touch the shadow of in her life time…

She knew it all along hadn't she? Then why now, why was she crying? What had the car ride changed?

She knew the answer in the deepest of her hearts what it had changed, and only then had she closed her face with her palms, as sobs that she suppressed inside her erupted.

Only one thought had circled inside her brain, making her breathless.

What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

Originally posted by: roops82

lovely chapters and beautifully written

Originally posted by: savy.fernis

Amazing

Originally posted by: cheesemad

hey A...waitinggg

edited...

gr8 update as usual...it was a small one though...i need a longer one next time...

very well written as usual...

loved lavanya in this update...

life is complicated indeed...atleast one question answered in this update...what does khushi think of arnav??i enjoyed reading it...equations are going to change soon ryt??😉

aww they thinking of getting kittens n having grand kittens...adorable...

i am in love with this policy no men no complications😆

lovely update n thnx for the pm

continue soon A😊

Originally posted by: A_BA

Thanks for the PM.

Poor Khushi doesn't want to see dreams that she thinks are unattainable. I kind of understand where she is coming from. There is no point of getting your hopes high over something that seems highly unlikely (but then again, how would she know if she doesn't try)...I guess it's going to be Arnav who will take initiative!

Originally posted by: 123vava

fabbb

Originally posted by: soppy

Awww...loved the best friend bonding!...reminded me of my bestfriend!

Originally posted by: roops82

fab update!!! lavanya is an awesome friend!!!

Originally posted by: golpokobita

i loved the update..

conversation between lavanya and khushi was so nice. knowing about the drunk condition of lavanya, the way khushi was responding to her, it seemed to me that she was actually answering to herself, making herself aware of the true situation and true condition of her mind and she was actually reasoning all these for herself.

although short, but it was a terrific chapter!

Originally posted by: ShikhaKhushi

What a cute update!!! That was great Athena! La and Khushi's friendship is so cute!!!! I wish I had that <3

Originally posted by: msin

You know I was hoping Amar and Arnav to be same... Arnav not willing to admit to Khushi... But her dad would have revealed that Suraj is the owner of raizada constructions...

Any ways like this story..l

Originally posted by: laksh65

interesting update loved it. thanks for the pm.

Originally posted by: -Siaa-

I must say it was an awesome chapter indeed! Brilliantly and beautifully woven emphasizing on the subtle mature thoughts of K and the innocent but hopeful thoughts of Lav. BFF's they are, but they are more like soul sisters always there for each other.

Khushi is sensible but when it comes to the matter of heart, no one can control it! Ever and Never! She knows her boundaries and limits and dares not to dream beyond it But like we all know, we never realize when we start dreaming beyond our limit and only when we are driven to the edge and lose it, we realize the beautiful folly we'd done in dreaming beyond the norms of dreams! As a AK rooter, I still believe that K will definitely cross the confinement she's set for herself. Moreover for a girl who loves her father a lot, respects him a lot and for him, she's ready to even go on a blind date shows the importance of her father in her life and yet still when her boss asked her for lunch, she completely forgot about the date with the other guy! Agreed that she had to do work and in that hustle she forgot about it, but later she should have remembered it! I would say that it's a subtle indication that her person inclination to have lunch with him ruled out any further thoughts. Let's see what happens.

It's not exactly innocence but there's something so pure, so innocent-like aura around Lav...I love her <3

And I loved this chapter too <3

Originally posted by: massu91

loved it
plsss pm me fr ur future updates of ol d stories
since m following everystory of urs now

Originally posted by: katunkka

Ok this is amzing. I like your start very much. Cute Arnav you havw. I dont know why this is not getting many reader but im glad I came across it! And your amazing writer please don't get discouraged!

Originally posted by: massu91

just a small request
plsss dont let arnav die plsss
i asked u bfr too but u dint say
its ok
bt plsss arnav n khushi no nobdy shld die
plsss
rest d story is best

bcz i read d first chp again, n bcz i felt dat may b u r planning fr a sad ending...
n dats yy i m again commenting


plsss write watever u hav planned bt arnav nahi marna chahye

warna mera kya hoga
lol

Originally posted by: binimoti

Loved to read more

Originally posted by: srishti_jain

Nice chapter! I love the friendship between Lavanya and Khushi. They are so wonderful. Both care for each other, have immense love in their hearts and they understand each other so well. I loved their relationship. They joke, have fun, share their secrets, confide in each other! Khushi is so smart and mature. She knows the realities of life and is very practical and pragmatic. I love her! A wonderful chapter. Nicely written! Please update soon! Thank you for the PM! 😊 😊

Originally posted by: -LiveCrazily-

I really adore this update from khushi thoughts to lavanya mumbling and ;avanya and khushi bonding

Khushi thoughts inspires me a lot she like us a simple modern today girl who what she is and where she stand

I realy appreciate her what she thought about arnav as her boss and the explanation about her boss who is he? Simply amazing

I m looking forward for khushi lavanya grand kittens J

Originally posted by: Nidsubh007

How did I miss this story?? Just came across it in the forum.

You have done a wonderful job with each character!

I'm very curious to find out how Arnav and Khushi end up together, if the boy she's supposed to meet is Amar? I can understand her willingness to go along with her father's plans, her and Arnav share only a professional relationship, so why would she bank on that.

Great job, I loved reading all 5 chapters in one go. Looking forward to the next part.