Retro Thread/Daastan Ke Dhaage: Aarti & Dubeys

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

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+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Hey everyone!

I wanted to let it be known that Kirthi and I will be starting the retrospective thread today!

Excited? You know it! 😃

After a lot of brainstorming and based on previous experience, we decided, however, not to go with the daily episode format as we have already done that once with this DC while the show was running. We thought it might be more fun and less pressure to do the flashback discussions theme/topic-wise instead of episode-wise. What we have now, that we didn't then, is a panoramic view of the whole journey. It would be more stimulating for discussion to have a thread a week, dedicated to a certain theme, such as the role of elemental symbolism, khoon vs. sauthela, or a relationship, like Ansh-Yash, Aarti-Gayatri etc. People can bring in scenes and and memories that are relevant and we can sort of look back through a different lens than the one we first used to view the story.

To be honest (from experience doing this exercise with another show) individual episodes will seem like really arbitrary units of discussion, looking back. Now that the show is no longer on air, we are not bound by the original format. So we are taking advantage of that and with one thread a week, introducing:

Since we thought it would be a good idea to follow a loosely chronological order for the themes, the first week's theme will be "Aarti and the Dubeys," the idea being that everyone brings in scenes/memories/analyses that are relevant to the theme and we all talk about it. We will see where the discussion leads us this week and then decide next week's theme!

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Aarti and the Dubeys

When Aarti married Prashant, she knew that for the first time in a long time she was going to have a family of her own. Little did she realise that the twists and turns of life would make them hers in a deeper and more meaningful way than she ever expected. And yet the relationship was not without its complexities, doubts and wrongdoings.

This week we explore the intricacies of a beautiful and complicated relationship that defined one of our protagonists, Aarti, in so many ways.

Let the discussion begin! 😃

Edited by Samanalyse - 12 years ago

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Putting down a few of my initial thoughts to start with.

Aarti and the Dubeys had a very complex relationship indeed! In many ways they were a real family because of the flaws in their relationship rather than the strengths. They lashed out at each other, took advantage of each other and blackmailed each other for their own ends, but through it all their love for one another remained constant. If course the elephant in the room, when discussing their relationship is Prashant... the catalyst for this complex family structure to form in the first place. In a way, it was easy for the Dubeys to make Aarti their daughter, but the questions arose when they had to ask themselves where that left Prashant in their lives.

Shobha and Aarti

There is no doubt that this was one of the relationships that both defined the tone and the content of PV. In the first episode itself, Shobha proved to the audience that she wasn't the normal mother-in-law, nor would she allow her daughter to fall into the hands of one, being such a gem and deserving better. At first it seemed like the Shobha-Aarti relationship was flawless. Shobha protected her little one like a true mother-hen and in turn, Aarti gave her conscience and her will entirely into Shobha's keeping. The complexities began to appear when we saw Shobha's own weaknesses, her rigid principles and her exacting standards for the people she accepted as her own. As long as Aarti did what she expected and remained the daughter she wanted, all was good. And at the beginning, Aarti too was inclined to do this because she was so taken in and indebted to Shobha's unconditional love for her. However, with Yash's growing love and her own growing self-esteem, Aarti began to rebel and that is when Shobha resorted to blackmail and the darker side of her character began to emerge.

Satyendra and Aarti

I know people have said a lot about how Dubey never really considered Aarti his own, but I disagree. In many ways he considered Aarti his more than even Shobha, but he was a very short sighted man. Whenever he saw his children suffering, his first order of business was to eliminate that suffering, no matter how bad that solution would be in the long term. This is why, in my opinion, he came up with the divorce lie. It was an immediate solution, without a real thought to the future consequences, much like when he allowed Aarti to meet Prashant before her wedding to Yash. I imagine he was a similar parent to Prashant before we met them which is why Prashant had such a sense of entitlement on the one hand, and rebellion on the other. I honestly felt that Dubey's relationship with Aarti was much more natural than Shobha's because it wasn't motivated by defiance of Prashant's existence. I often felt that Dubey was the one who loved Aarti for Aarti, while Shobha loved her partly for herself of course, but also partly as an act of defiance against Prashant.

More later as the discussion continues...

Edited by Samanalyse - 12 years ago

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Zetter

@Zetter

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Samana and Kirthi for opening this thread, it's gonna be marvelous to down memory lane ad relive the good , the bad and the ugly of the wonderful journey that was AarYa's love story and PV-ZMD 👏 👏 🤗...Looking forward to the discussions 😉

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Aarti's unconditional love and trust she had for the Dubeys...No matter what they did she she could never stay mad at them too long, they weer the only family she knew the ones that stuck by her through it all...they even turned their backs on their son Prashant for her sake and being an orphan that was a big deal for her to have people to stand by her side and not abandon her like the others.

But at times they even lied to her, they played on her love for them to get her to do what they wanted in other words they emotionally blackmailed her. whether it was for her to get engage/married to Yash (which turned out to be great) or keep her past from Yash or to help Prashant once again without informing Yash...But come what may she always respect and loved them.

P.S Sorry for the sort picture take didn't had much time, I promise to make the next one better 😃

Edited by Zetter - 12 years ago

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angake

@angake

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

Thank You Sammy For starting this thread. It is going to be amazing to walk back and journey through the lives of Yash and Aarti and see how many obstacles they had in emotionally accepting each other, yet they persevered. Looking back I cannot but help feel so so proud of our adorable dunces.

So here are my some random thoughts and will add on as we continue our discussion. 😃

Aarti and the Dubeys. Where does one even begin.

The first episode I fell in love with Shobha and Aarti's relationship. At that point all I saw was this wonderfully strong woman in Shobha who would die before she let anything nasty touch her daughter (in law). It wasn't until much later that I realized that Shobha and Aarti's relationship was a lot more complicated than a mother wanting her daughter to be happy.

Coming to Aarti, I can only imagine her joy at having gained a mother and a father through Prashant. I don't doubt for a second that Aarti loved Prashant. However, how much of that love was influenced by her dream of having a family of her own. After marriage did she become more of a daughter than a wife? Did Prashant find that resentful, because I think he did. I think Prashant saw her as an obstacle between himself and his mother. He saw her as someone who alienated him from his mother even though Aarti was probably just being Aarti. We don't know for sure how it was in the Dubey household when Aarti came as a bride but from whatever little Prashant has said about that phase it was clear that he thought his parents loved Aarti more than him. And I think Aarti understood that too after she got married to Yash.

And this is so so important because I think it played a huge role in her relationship with the Scindiyas but especially Yash. I think it was in the periphery of her awareness that knowingly or unknowingly after her arrival into the Dubey family the mother and the son may have drifted more apart. I think this subconsciously influenced Aarti a lot when she dealt with the Scindiyas. She always made a conscious decision to never create rifts between the elder Scindiyas and Yash. I think it was during Ansh's kidnapping that Yash started to become someone very important to her but even before that she never complained about Gayatri's unjust behavior towards her or Ansh to Yash. So in a way, I suppose I thank Shobha for teaching her unknowingly that she had the power to make or break relationship between her husband and his family.

Edited by angake - 12 years ago

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angake

@angake

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Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: Zetter
Aarti's unconditional love and trust she had for the Dubeys...No matter what they did she she could never stay mad at them too long, they weer the only family she knew the ones that stuck by her through it all...they even turned their backs on their son Prashant for her sake and being an orphan that was a big deal for her to have people to stand by her side and not abandon her like the others.

Zet, this is what I always wonder about. Could they have dealt with Aarti-Prashant differently? Prashant truly felt abandoned by his parents. And we will never know what exactly went on but did Dubey's too play a role in breaking up Aarti and Prashant's marriage? Shobha was blinded by her principles to the extent that she there was no middle road for her where Prashant was concerned and Dubey could never stand up to Shobha where Prashant was concerned until the very end. Maybe if Dubey had been more pro-active and involved himself between Prashant and Shobha things might have been different. It was clear from the beginning that there wasn't much he could say when Shobha went on her 'Prashant is an awful son' rampage. It wasn't until the BMT track that Dubey found his voice. Had he done that earlier maybe a lot of heartache could have been avoided.

Edited by angake - 12 years ago

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KamliKudi

@KamliKudi

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

Res 😳

Will post when I come back from work tonight

Samana & Kirthi- I love this idea

Edited:

TBH I hated the Dubeys when they were emotionally blackmailing Aarti and used little Ansh without his FATHER's knowledge. The way they were acting and the situtations they created for Aarti were downright horrible. They could have broken Arya's Punar Vivah if Yash wasn't in love with Aarti and trusted her. But now that I look back they were Aarti's parents because that's how all of our parents are Lol.

When they don't get their way- they do start emotionally blackmailing because in their mind whatever they are doing is the RIGHT thing for their family including the child involved.

Have to thank the Dubeys because Aarti got a second chance at happiness and Ansh got his superman papa.

Edited by KamliKudi - 12 years ago

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anonee

@anonee

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Posted: 12 years ago

Just bookmarking.

Busy work day today. Will come back later.

Thank you Samana and Kirti for begining this dialogue.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Updated my above post.

@Zet: So glad to see you here with your beautiful picture take, even if it is a mini-take for now. You have brought up possibly the most important contradiction in the relationship, one that I think will constitute a lot of the discussion in this thread.

@Kirthi: I see you addressed the elephant in the room head on! I completely agree. Even though she probably never intended to, Aarti probably came between Prashant and his parents, especially Shobha, when their relationship was strained to begin with. Judging by what we saw, I would think that Prashant brought Aarti into his life as a potential bridge between him and his parents, as though marrying right would gain him the approval he craved from Shobha, but it looks like it had the opposite effect, making him outraged at Aarti and estranging him further from all of them.

@Binde: Looking forward to your thoughts! 😉

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Zetter

@Zetter

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

Originally posted by: angake
Zet, this is what I always wonder about. Could they have dealt with Aarti-Prashant differently? Prashant truly felt abandoned by his parents. And we will never know what exactly went on but did Dubey's too play a role in breaking up Aarti and Prashant's marriage? Shobha was blinded by her principles to the extent that she there was no middle road for her where Prashant was concerned and Dubey could never stand up to Shobha where Prashant was concerned until the very end. Maybe if Dubey had been more pro-active and involved himself between Prashant and Shobha things might have been different. It was clear from the beginning that there wasn't much he could say when Shobha went on her 'Prashant is an awful son' rampage. It wasn't until the BMT track that Dubey found his voice. Had he done that earlier maybe a lot of heartache could have been avoided.

Hmmm well I have wonder that as well Shoba was more like my way or the highway kind of attitude with Prashant and like you said we didn't know what happened between the Dubeys, Aarti and Prashant during there marriage but we can only assumed that P felt neglected by his mom who I'll bet would praised Aarti like crazy and that would just made P mad to see his mom caring more about his wife then him ...IMO P might have gotten married to Aarti only to please Shobha but when he saw that even by doing what she wanted he wouldn't get the kind of affection he was longing for from her he started to resent Aarti and then might have been when their marriage started to fall apart 🤔

As for Dubey well we all know who was wearing the pants in that marriage 😛 😆 even he was a little against the idea of Aarti marrying again sure for his own selfish reasons (Prashant) but he still supported Shobha cause he was secretly hoping that AarYa wouldn't make it 😲 😉...I liked that he found his voice but it was a little too late cause P was don't gone to the point of no return plus his aunt didn't make things better she only made things worse with her orthodox thinking 😡

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angake

@angake

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#10

Samana, I loved what you said about Dubey.

The one thing that does stand out to me at the end of this journey is the fact that Dubey was really shortsighted like you pointed out and that is such a pity. I think he truly could have been the bridge between Prashant and Shobha but alas his shortsightedness didn't let him be.

I agree, I was one of those who thought at first Shobha's love for Aarti was much 'truer' than Dubey's but I saw how that was not the case. It was never the case that Dubey did not love Aarti in fact looking back I think he stood up for her more than Shobha did. During the pre-wedding ceremony when Prashant calls Aarti to the Temple, Dubey allows her to go. We were all so so mad but lets think about it, he definitely did think that maybe Prashant wants to come back but looking back I see how he gave Aarti the choice to decide one last time. I mean here was a father who was faced with two possibilities for his daughter on one side was Prashant, the man she had loved, married and the father of her son- yes he had dumped her but if there was even a slight chance that he had redeemed himself then why shouldn't Aarti go back to him and on the other side was Yash, a man Aarti barely knew and didn't even want to contemplate spending the rest of her life. I mean as a father was it really wrong on Dubey's part to send her off to meet Prashant that day? He had heard an earful from both Shobha and us viewers.😆

And then remember during Ansh's kidnapping Dubey had wanted to take Aarti back or he said something to the effect that maybe it is written in her fate not to have a married life or some such thing. Again we were all so mad but looking at it from a father's perspective was he wrong in thinking like that. All he saw was that his son in law forcibly changed schools of his grandchild and now the child is lost and to top that none of the Scindiyas were lifting a finger to save the child except Yash. Was he wrong in thinking that Aarti would be better off with them than the Scindiyas.

He calls Prashant to help them out. He was disappointed by Prashant's disinterest. But again why wouldn't he call Prashant rather than blindly believing in Yash. I mean looking back Shobha was so adamantly supporting Yash. Why? Because in that one instance when Yash disagreed with Gayatri about bringing Ansh to the family, she saw in him everything that Prashant didn't have? It was almost like Shobha desperately wanted to prove that she had made a good choice in picking Yash and that he is everything that Prashant is not, which ultimately was true. 😆

Yes looking back I do think that Dubey's relationship with Aarti was a lot more natural.

Edited by angake - 12 years ago