Maan blew at the cover of the small diary to remove the "dust" settled on its surface.Though,he had appointed a servant to clean his sirjee's flat on a daily basis but expecting a "thorough cleaning" from him in the absence of "owner of the house" was stupid. Pale yellow pages of diary screamed its age as he flipped through it to get Suta's other contact number.One,he had got from sirjee's cell phone was currently unavailable.He had checked her "exam date sheet" from school's website.Her exam were finished 10 days ago and her summer breaks would start next week after the result declaration.One month had passed since sirjee's death but He had not told her about her father's demise yet, as he was waiting for her exams to be finished. Since last ten days,he was planning to break this news to Suta but could not muster the enough courage.He was expecting a call from Suta on his sirjee's cell phone or house land line but She did not call even once,though It did not surprise him. Somewhere,he had the slight idea of "twisted and not so normal" relationship between Suta and her father,but he had never talked about it to Sirjee just like,his Sirjee,never talked to him about his relationship with his mother.He himself had no idea when this "mutual understanding" developed between both of them.They had talked about everything from Science and Maths basics to politics and movies,but never touched the topic of "his daughter" and "his mother".
A slight smile lit his face as he found Suta's Hostel number in the diary.With little nervousness in his heart,His fingers dialled the number..
"Hello..Aasam Velly school,Girl's Hostel"..Maan heard a strict yet humble voice of warden from other side.
"Hello ma'am..Can I speak to Suta Mehta???"
"May I know who is speaking???"
"I am her father.." His voice did not hesitate even once to call himself her father.
"Wait..Let me call her.."
He waited with a bated breath for Suta to come on line.He heard the "click" sound of phone being picked by someone.Next,he heard her voice after almost nine years..
"Hello.."
It took sometime for him to reply as he spoke,"Hello Suta.."
"Who is this???" Her immediate question welcomed his "hello".
"I am "Maan".." He answered,not sure,how much she actually knew or remembered about him.
"How is papa???" She asked immediately once again in a voice full of apprehension and worry.
His tongue struggled to bring "answer" of her question out of his mouth,but it could not succeed.Few minutes passed in silence which was broken by Suta's voice.
"He is fine,right??"She questioned in a teary voice.
"He is no more with us.." He somehow managed to answer this time.Her faint sobs touched his eardrums after a while.He desperately wanted to be with her at that moment,to console her,to hug her and to tell her that he would be always there for her.
"I am with you,baby.."He exclaimed.The "term of endearment" left his lips in its own accord,though his "endearment"was reciprocated with a formal reply as he heard her say,"Thank you for calling me to give this news.."
He was completely clueless about how to respond to her formal words.He was trying to formulate an answer when he heard her again.."Can you please send a letter to my "warden" stating my "father's demise"???I know you are my "guardian" after papa..Papa had already given your name as my guardian in my school records.."
Maan was able to feel her effort to control her tears.
"Why would you need that letter,suta??"He asked.
"To leave the hostel before summer break commences..I want to attend papa's funeral.."
"Suta..It has been one month since Sirjee left all of us.." Maan told her.
"What??? Why did not you tell me before??.."She asked in a hurt and disappointed voice.
"Sirjee had stopped me from telling you..He wanted me to tell you about his death only after your exams..." Maan tried to make her understand.
"How could he do that??? I could not see him even for last time.."She spoke as she broke down completely.
Tears trickled down his cheeks too as he heard her crying for her father.Helplessness of not being with her at that moment pricked his heart more strongly than the grief of his mentor's loss.After a while,he heard Hostel warden's voice from other side,asking Suta whether she was fine??
"I am fine ma'am..I was missing my father.." Suta answered to her warden. He could hear her sniffing her nose.
"Are you fine now???" He asked.
"Hmm.."
"Your summer vacations would start from next week..I would arrange air tickets for you.."
"No..There is no need..I have already made my reservation in "Guhawati Rajdhani"..She informed."Thank you so much for your concern,Sir.." She spoke further.
Her "formal addressing" rendered him speechless once again.He knew,he had not meet her since she was four.Her formal behaviour was a natural reaction form her but still his heart was not able to accept this formality form his "baby"..
"Its lights out time now..I need to go.." Her voice ended his musings.
"Wait..When would be you leaving the hostel?? Whats your seat number?? I would come to receive you at station..and I was trying your cell number but It always came unavailable.." Maan spoke anxiously.
"I have changed my cell number..Give me your cell number..I would text you all the details about train timings and seat number,since you have asked otherwise there is no need for you to come to Railway station..I would manage by my own. .."
Maan told her his cell phone number before she ended the call with other formal greeting,"Good night sir".
"Good night.." He said with a sad smile as he kept back the diary in the drawer.He was about to get up from the study table when his gaze fell at a passport size photograph near his feet.It might have fallen from the diary. He picked the picture to take a closer look.It did not take a single minute for him to recognize Suta.He was searching for Suta's recent picture since last one month in sirjee's flat but could not find one. His fingers traced his baby's face in the small picture,though She was not "baby" anymore. She was a growing up teenager now. He still remembered the day when he had seen her for the first time. She had entered Khurana Mansion,holding her father's finger.Her wobbling tiny steps proved that she had learned to walk recently. Her mismatched shirt and shorts,with unruly and long hair were telling a single parent's struggle to raise his daughter. Ashok was little reluctant and guilty to tag his daughter along with him,during the tuition time But Neither Maan ,nor his Dadi had any problem with this. Maan was indifferent towards Suta's presence in the house,however she brought much happiness for his dadi. She rarely missed any chance to shower her motherly care on little girl after knowing from Ashok that she had lost her mother the very moment she was born. She was the first one to call Suta baby as her father had not thought any name for her yet.
Baby also loved her new surroundings.After much persuasion from Savitri Devi,Ashok was ready to leave Suta in Khurana Mansion,till he would be done with rest of the tuitions. Hence,for five hours. from 4 pm to 9 pm,Khurana Mansion used to echo with Baby's giggles and cute babyish words.
There were no toys for her to play with initially,but she had found her own toys in the form of Maan's shoes, Pencils,Pens, Erasers,TV remote or anything she could find..He had no idea what fun she had in messing his shoe rack.May be It was the only place where her little hands could reach easily.Once she was done with shoes,She used to come under his study table.It was her official den.No matter,how much he tried,It was impossible to get her out from there,though she had never disturbed him. She used to keep on playing with her improvised toys under the table till her tongue craved to taste the candies and toffees present in her tiny pockets. Maan used to know,it was his time to unwrap a toffee for her as soon her little hands used to grab his knees under the table.."Poffee.."She used to say in her cute voice handing him a toffee under the table... Even after six months,His interaction with little girl was limited to unwrapping the toffees for her only till that fateful day...
Maan closed the door of his room as he controlled his tears.It was Sunday and His mother had promised to cook lunch for him after the tuition, but as usual her business commitments made her break the promise. Dadi had gone to the temple.She had asked him to take care of Baby till she would be back but He wanted to sulk alone in his room,Hence he did not let baby enter his room today.After crying his heart out,he came near the window of the room which opened in to hall. No one was present in the hall except Baby who was busy playing with the "Eraser" in her hands.She was actually chewing the eraser with her newly grown milk teeth. He did not know why but he kept on watching her antics for next few minutes. When she was done with nibbling the whole eraser,She came near the bag kept at the one corner,which had her nappies,feeding bottle and other necessary things. Maan was amazed as He saw her bringing out the feeding bottle from the bag.She was hungry and wanted to have her milk. Next he saw her looking around for someone who would open the bottle for her but she did not find anyone. After many futile attempts to remove the cap of the bottle,She had quit as she discarded the bottle near the bag. To her good luck,She had found an already opened Biscuit packet in the bag. Her chubby hands took one of the biscuit as she started nibbling it..
Maan felt a sharp pain clutching his heart watching the little girl who had learned to raise herself at such small age because of lack of someone to pamper her.In last six months,He had understood his sirjee's behaviour towards his daughter little. He was putting his best efforts to raise his daughter but warmth of fatherly love was completely missing from his efforts.For the first time,his heart had realized that little girl was also going through same pain as his. She had lost her mother and he had lost his father.She was craving for her father's love just like he was craving for his mother's love.He wiped his moist eyes as he came out from his room. His heart felt a strange satisfaction and happiness as he took baby in his arms and fed her with his own hands..It was his first step of becoming her parent,a long before her real father had actually given him this responsibility...
Loud ring of his cell phone startled Maan as picture fell from his hands once again.He immediately picked the picture before answering his grandma's call who was waiting for him at home.He checked the time on his watch which showed 11 of the night.He got up to leave his sirjee's flat as he kept Suta's picture in his wallet...
********************
Like every morning,her fingers trembled as she opened the door of her son's room and peeped in.He was lying on his stomach,with his hands below the pillow and head turned to one side.It was his favourite sleeping position since childhood.Her legs craved to walk closer to his bed to place a soft kiss on his forehead,But like last thirty days,She couldn't move from her place near the door as she knew very well,her son was not going to place his head in her lap and ask her to let him sleep little more.She would only get a look of "indifference" from him.Her eyes got misty as she remembered the day,she had seen him after four years.His sudden arrival was the biggest and most pleasant surprise,she had ever got in her life.She still could feel that "yearning" to take her son in her arms that she had felt that day,But he never hugged her.He just bent down to touch her feet,leaving her open arms still craving to hug him. She tried to search for little "love" in his gesture of touching her feet but all she could find was a sense of "duty"and "Good etiquettes".There was no warmth,which was present in his eyes when he had touched his grandmother's feet later on and gave her a warm hug.She turned around,wiping the moisture in her eyes, only to find her mother in law standing behind her.
"Go and talk to him.."Savitri Devi told Mamta with a sad smile.
"I don't want to spoil his morning by showing my face.." Mamta replied..
"He does not hate you,Mamta.." Savitri devi exclaimed in pained voice.
"I wish,he had hated me..It would have been better than his "Indifference".. Savitri Devi heard her reply.She was able to feel a mother's pain but sadly She could not do anything to lessen it till now. Maan had never let her talk to him about this matter and whenever she did talk to him forcefully,his grandson's conversations with her became "formal" suddenly.The fear of loosing his love,just like his mother had lost,made her efforts to bring Mamta and Maan closer impeded.
"Whats that???" She asked Mamta pointing towards a "File" in her hands.
"Its..mm..Nothing.." Mamta stammered,clutching the file closer to her heart.
"Please tell me beta.."She coaxed her caressing her cheek.
"Greys" had started showing their prominence in Mamta's hair but Her eyes had not lost that "childish reluctance" yet.The way Mamta chewed her lower lip while hiding the file behind her back reminded her of those old days when She was new bride of her son who used to hide her "cookery book" behind her back in similar way after being caught doing her "Kitchen experiments" which used to result in "awful cuisines" most of the times.
"Actually maaji,This file has "matrimonial biodatas" of some girls.."Mamta exclaimed in reluctant voice.
"Oh wow...You are searching a "bride" for Maan.."Savatri devi spoke with joy.
"I could not stop myself though I have no idea whether he is interested in marriage or not right now..Moreover now "Suta's" responsibility is also on his shoulders."
"I would talk to him about this.." Savitri devi said with a smile,taking the file from her hands.
"Dadi..What are you doing at the door???Come inside.." Maan's sleepy voice startled both of them.He hadn't seen his mother yet as she was hidden properly behind the door.
"I should go now. I am getting late for office." Mamta spoke in a low voice turning around and leaving the place with hurried steps.
"Good morning dadi.."Maan said muffling a yawn.
"Good morning beta.."Savitri devi answered settling herself on his bed.Next moment,her grandson's head was in her lap as she found him kissing her hand with closed eyes."It seems like you slept quite late last night.."She exclaimed caressing his fore-head.
"Yes,dadi..I was setting up Baby's room..Hope she would like it.."
"You talked to her about her father's death,maan???"
"Yes, I had called her yesterday.."Maan answered coming to sitting position."She was crying dadi..I wish,I could be with her while breaking the news of her father's demise to her.."He said further in a sad voice with a tinge of regret in it.
"I can understand beta.Don't worry you would be with her very soon.."Savitri devi said in a manner to console him.."When she is coming back from hostel???
"She would be leaving next week."Maan informed her."Dadi..I wanted to arrange air tickets for her but she denied.".
Savitri devi was able to feel the disappointment in his voice as she was very well aware of his special bond with Suta.."Beta..Give her some time to accept this new relation with you..She was only four years old when her father sent her to hostel.." Savitri devi spoke as Maan's tear stained face flashed infront of her eyes when Ashok had informed them about his decision of sending Suta away.She wished,Suta also remembered those tears shed by Maan for her..
"I understand dadi.." Maan exclaimed with a wan smile.."Whats this in your hand???" He asked further snatching the file form his grand ma's hands.
"I am searching my 'grand daughter in law'.." Savitri devi spoke with a wink.
"You or my "busy bee" mother??? Collecting girls details form Matrimonial websites could be my mother's idea only..You would have followed the traditional way of going to some "pandit ji" for finding an alliance for me.." Maan said flipping the pages of file as he separated the profiles of those girls whom his mother had rejected by putting a "cross" sign on the respective pages with red ink. His action did not surprise his grand mother.He would never leave the chance to rebel his mother's decision whether It was pursuing Ph.D in Canada or marrying a girl who was not her choice.
"What do you think,Dadi??Which girl would be ready to marry a man who is father of thirteen years old girl??" He exclaimed as his gaze fell at one of the picture in the file.He could not flip the pages further.
"She is beautiful..."Savitri devi said looking at the "hazel eyed" girl in the photo.
"Yes,very much.." He said,lost in the beauty of the face.."but her smile is not reaching her eyes. It seems she is hiding some big grief in her heart.."He spoke further tracing his fingers at her eyes.."Look at her eyes dadi..They remind me of.."
"Baby's eyes???" Savitri devi intervened.
"Yes.." Maan spoke with a wide smile.
"But why Mamta had rejected her???" Savitri devi exclaimed with furrowed eye brows as she snatched the file from him.."Let me read her Biodata..Name-Geet Handa, Education-MA,B.Ed., Birth date-13 May 1984..Ohh...She is two years elder than you,," She stated the reason behind Mamta's rejection.
"So what???"Maan said immediately only to gain a teasing smile from his grandma..
"That means you are ready to marry her,beta.."
"No..Not at all.." He was startled with his grandma's statement.."I meant to say,If a boy can marry a girl younger than him then why can't a girl marry a boy younger than her..Moreover,I am already married to "Listeria".."His tone became serious at the end of sentence.
"Listeria who???" Savitri devi asked in a voice full of apprehension.Her grandson might have married some Canadian girl.
"We are in "live in "relationship since last four years,dadi..I have been spending my days and nights with him since then..."
The word "Him' almost gave a heart attack to Savitri devi..Maan had married to some boy.."You married to a boy,maan???" She said in astonishment.
"Yes,dadi..But Listeria is not a boy but the "Bacteria" I am working on in my lab since last four years.." He said as he burst in to a hysterical laughter.
Savitri devi sighed in relief though she did not like prank played on her very much.."That was not funny maan.."
"But your expressions were quite funny..You were about to faint due to shock.." Maan spoke,kissing his grandma's cheek.
"Eww..Morning breath..Go and brush your teeth first,beta.."
"I would do that dadi but Its my sincere request to you and your daughter in law to forget about my marriage...I won't marry a girl who can't accept Suta and I know,both of you won't be able to find such a girl for me who would accept Suta her daughter gladly.." He said entering the bathroom.
He came out from the bathroom after a while only to find his grandma missing from the room,however she had left the file at the bed.A smile was lingering on his lips as he separated geet's picture from the file.He had to cut major portion of the picture with scissors,so it could fit in his wallet.He did not know what made him to do so,but now Geet's picture was accompanying Suta's picture in his wallet..
*****************************************
"You scored 85% Suta but you have got Compartment in Hindi..You would have to reappear in Hindi examination after the summer breaks.." Abhi told her Best friend,Suta as she entered in their room. She and Suta were best friends since Second Standard and She was the only person whom Suta could confide in about her troubles.At this moment,She was the only one who was aware of Suta's father's death.
"Everything would be fine.." Abhi spoke keeping her hand on Suta's shoulder who was busy staring at her father's picture in her hands.Two more persons were also present in the picture,a young boy and a little girl. Young boy was Maan where as Little girl was she herself.This was the only picture of her father that she had with her.
"I want to stay alone for a while abhi" Suta requested.Abhi had not left her alone even for a single minute since she had received that phone call form Maan. Infinite pestering by Suta had made her go to check their result.
"Ok..but only for fifteen minutes.." Abhi said in a strict tone as she left the room.
A tear escaped Suta's eye and fell at her father's face in the picture as she remembered her last conversation with her father four months ago.She had gone to Delhi as soon she was informed by her father's minor Heart attack by the maid. However,her sudden arrival had enraged her father as he had scolded her very much for leaving the hostel like that.He did not understand the worry that she had felt,when she came to know about his ill health..He did not see the troubles she had faced to leave the hostel without any "written permission" from him. All he could see was "loss of her studies" as he kept on yelling at her for such irresponsible behaviour. He had ordered her to return to her hostel as soon as possible. His last words to her when she was about to leave her house,were clearly imprinted in her memory.
"Suta..In case,anything bad happened to me in future,Maan is the only person whom you can trust..He would be your guardian after my death.. Always respect him like your father.."
After getting so much scoldings from him,the mention of name "Maan" had enraged her so much that She had thrown her sim card form train's window,so her father could never contact her.She had smiled at her own action after that as he could contact her at hostel's land line phone too but her father was not a regular caller like Abhi's father,who used to call her every night,to know about her day in the school.She had always missed this pampering and love from her father.But her share of his love was snatched by her father's favourite student,"Maan"..He had always loved him more than her.Even He called him while taking his last breaths,instead of his daughter..Along with her fahter's love,Maan had snatched,last moments of her father too from her...
Her gaze travelled to Maan's face in the picture now. An immense anger and hatred flared in her heart as she saw her father's hand around his shoulders,where as she was standing alone near their feet with a pencil in her hands.Instead of taking her in his arms,her father's hand was busy embracing his favourite student.
She was able to see her fahter's hand on Maan's shoulder but she could not see Maan's eyes who were fixed at her rather than the camera...!!!
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