Part 39
"Nothing brings on jealousy like laughter." - Franoise Sagan, That Mad Ache: A Novel / Translator, Trader: An Essay
To say Khushi Singh Raizada was confused would be an understatement. As she sat on the sofa and conversed with NK who was cooking up a Christmas lunch for them, she tried to keep her mind from drifting towards the source of her confusion – Arnav Singh Raizada.
His hot and cold behaviour was throwing her off the loop, and now she found herself confused whether she should hate him, or…not hate him. Yesterday, for the first time since their marriage, she had had a civil day with him, without him storming off in anger. She had sensed that every move was a deliberate and conscious move on his behalf to make yesterday as smooth as possible, however as she thought about it, she could not compare it to the previous encounters.
Arnav had made it perfectly clear that he would never accept her as a wife, so what had changed? What had brought on that sudden acceptance of their marriage, that civil conversation, the tolerable attitude – and most of all, what had brought those lingering touches on her waist?
When they had stepped out of the train, she had felt his hand hovering over her lower back, gently guiding her towards the exit, and Khushi had deliberately increased her stride to keep maintain the distance between them.
He had not said anything, in fact he had hardly uttered a word throughout the walk back to the hotel, and Khushi had felt all kinds of questions bubbling to the surface, which she had – with great difficulty – pushed back. Sometimes she would bite her tongue to stop her mouth from opening on its own accord, and at one point she had bit it so hard that she had let a painful gasp escape her lips, which had (unfortunately for her) turned Arnav's attention to her.
She had avoided his question asking her what was wrong, and had smiled painfully, trying to mask her features, and almost ran back to the hotel.
She felt skittish, and the confusion was not doing well for her. He had started spending a lot of time in her thoughts, and half the time, with great alarm, she realised that her thoughts of him were no longer mean or horrible – rather now, she was starting to change her opinion of him.
Shaking her head, she turned her attention back to NK, and tried very hard to nod and laugh at appropriate times. NK had forced her to sit, and warned her not to do any work. He was trying to impress his new bhabhi with his culinary skills. While Khushi was amused, she felt that the no work, turned her attention back to the devil who was presently sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his emails, and not participating in any conversation with NK.
She sighed and closed her eyes slowly. She had to stop thinking about it, and the only way she could was by cooking some jalebis, but where could she find the batter, or the oil, or the…anything?
Her eyes scouted out the kitchen, and tried finding the appropriate ingredients. Her eyes zeroed in on the maida, the oil, along with the other ingredients which she needed. Slipping out of the chair, she had not even taken a step past it when NK's sharp voice halted her,
"Khushiji" He warmed, his eyes narrowed, "Don't even think about it"
Khushi pleaded him with her eyes, she needed to do something, why didn't he understand? Her eyes were itching to grab the maida, heat up the oil, make the batter, the sugar syrup and go about making her favourite jalebis.
"You are my bemaan" He said, cutting Khushi off when she opened her mouth to correct him, "Nuh-uh! Sit down, you are not doing anything!"
"Nanheji, please, I-"
"Nothing doing Khushiji" He said, gently steering her away from the kitchen with his hands on her shoulder, and to her disappointment, straight towards the couch where Arnav was sitting.
"You sit with Nannav, the food will be ready soon"
Getting desperate to get away, the thoughts eating her alive, she dug her heels into the ground and exclaimed, "Nanheji!"
This grabbed both NK's and Arnav's attention, and Khushi felt like groaning and running back to the hotel to hide herself in the room. Clearing her throat, she sent a wide smile NK's way, and said,
"I really want to make Jalebis for you" She said, and noted how his eyes lightened up, "I make the best jalebis in Lucknow, and I know that you will love them if you have them"
NK swallowed hard, clearly in a dilemma, "But Khushiji…"
Khushi shook her head, and tucked the pallu of her sari in her waist, putting her hair up in a bun, "Nothing doing Nanheji." She echoed him, and NK chuckled, "I am making you jalebis, while you make that angrezi food for us"
Running towards the kitchen, Khushi let out a sigh of relief at being away from Arnav, her hands gently rubbing up and down her arms to get rid of the goosebumps that had suddenly taken over.
********
Arnav scrolled through his blackberry, his eyes staring blankly at the screen, but his attention otherwise diverted to the chatter and laughter coming from the kitchen behind him. He was half tempted to turn around and tell NK to shut up, but realised that most of the laughter coming from the kitchen was that of Khushi's – and the last thing he wanted was another setback from her finally forgiving him for his small mistake.
Silently enduring it, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the ends and closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on. He could smell the sweetness of the jalebis, and wondered since when had she learnt to cook them. Realising there were a lot of things he did not know about her, he sat forward on the couch, his forearms resting on the knees and his hands settling over his mouth, which was pulled down into a frown.
More laughter came through, and Arnav closed his eyes. He felt a tightness in his stomach as a sort of helplessness took over. He wasn't used to feeling helpless, he wasn't used to not being in control, but the longer he sat on the couch, his thoughts were now echoing with her laughter.
He had never heard her laugh like that around him, rather he had noticed her get more nervous and Arnav scowled as he realised how differently she behaved around him. He felt the frustration starting to increase, and he pressed his fingers to his temple, gently massaging it, trying to keep calm.
As he heard more chatter, and some more carefree laughter, Arnav sat back on the couch and let his knee bounce up and down in agitation. He wanted for this lunch to be over already, and he really did not want to stay another moment here, listening to their mindless talks about silly movies that they had watched.
Getting up, he slipped the blackberry in his pocket, his face displaying every bit of anger and irritation he felt, and turned around to let Khushi know that he needed to leave for a sudden meeting. He would be damned if he spent another moment here.
However just as he turned around, the excuse (sans explanation) ready at his lips, the words died just as he saw Khushi standing behind him, with a plate of jalebis, some batter smeared on her cheek, and hesitantly smiling at him, inviting him to have lunch.
Swallowing hard, he nodded and followed her to the table, mentally cursing himself for not slipping away, but finding himself helpless
again, as he sat on the table, and Khushi sat beside him.
Anupamaa
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