If Only You Saw Me (2) - Page 80

I reach home with Anaya who is very warmly welcomed by my mother. I'm often neglected when she is around and it makes me envy the bond Anaya shares with my mother. It doesn't seem like they're not related. It feels like they know each other from ages or even like they are mother-daughter and I'm the friend here. Mom absolutely adores Anaya and the feeling is vice versa. I sit in the living room and listen as the two chat and gossip in the kitchen. From past experience, I know that I'm not welcome in there. I had walked in on them once, saw Mom standing at the counter, chopping vegetables while Anaya sat beside the chopping board on that very counter. Before stepping in, I had heard their excited whispers which I couldn't decipher but it was obvious that they were gossiping with all the delirium that is expected of a woman. As soon a I entered the kitchen, they fell silent for a few moments. It was annoying when I had questioned the sudden lull and they had picked up on me, teasing me that I was interested in girly things. After that, I've always avoided these two whenever they are together. 'Girls!' I mutter under my breath. Just as the word reaches my own ears, I realise it is wrong to generalise like this. There are girls who're different, girls like Geet.

With her name, comes the flutter in my stomach. I realise we actually talked today, however little it may be. I smile when I think of coming to know about her a bit more: she works in the cafe every other day. I wonder why she does that. Does she need to? Or does she want to? I hope of getting this question answered in the coming days. Forty five minutes of absentmindedly surfing through the television channels, I hear the two women make their way out of the kitchen. When they come in my view, Anaya tells me she is leaving. I offer to drop her home but she refuses saying she has some errands to run before going home. I stand up to give her a hug and see her off to the door. When I come back in, I see Mom standing near the sofa looking at me with an amused expression. 'What?' I ask. 'Anaya is such a wonderful girl, isn't she? I wish she could live with us.' I know where this always leads to. 'Not again, Mom! You know we're just friends.' I end the conversation before it even begins but Mom doesn't listen to me and sits down saying, 'Come on Maan. You've been such good friends since high school. She knows you well and even likes you-' I cut her off, 'That's what you think. It's nothing of that sort as a matter of fact.' 'But-' She tries again and stops when she sees my expression. 'Okay, okay. I won't talk about it. I know Anaya is just a friend and there is another girl who's the special one.' She grins as says it. My stiff shoulders relax when she invites me sit with her for a while.

We chat for over an hour and I tell her about the progress of my day because there's no point trying to hide it. She'll guess anyway. She smiles throughout. When I shut up, she begins telling about her day without needing a lot of coaxing. She tells me about her adventures of the previous day as well since she wasn't at home when I got back and I wasn't in the mood later. 'You know Maan, there's this girl who I met a few times in the departmental store when I went for grocery shopping and I met her yesterday too. She is such a bubbly girl. Talkative and lively. She can entertain you with her talks for hours at a stretch and you wouldn't get bored. We've become real good friends in quite a short time. I plan to meet her tomorrow too. What do you think about me calling her over? She told me yesterday that she'll be busy for sometime but I said she should come over as soon as she gets some time.' I gape at her the whole time she speaks. Mom herself is so talkative that I can't imagine her calling someone else talkative. It's almost like she's talking to herself once she starts because she wouldn't even breathe between her words, let alone giving another person a chance to say something. 'So?' She asks when I don't say anything. 'Huh? Uh.. Sure Mom. Call her anytime you want. I don't have any issues with it. By the way, how long has this been going on? You never told me anything about this new friend earlier. What's her name?' She smiles sheepishly. 'Say... A few weeks. Her na-' The doorbell rings and I get up to answer it. It's Ayush. He meets my Mom and drags me to my room for some guy-time.

I stride through the familiar corridor the next morning, now with a sense of exhilaration because today I'm going to meet her instead of peeking furtively and she is waiting for me. I'm a little more confident about talking to her. As I enter the common room, I see her sitting there, head bent down, eyes focused on some book in her lap. Two other girls are sitting there immersed in some kind of a discussion. I walk over to Geet thinking of an excuse to initiate a conversation when I notice which book she is reading. It's a course book and she's working on a problem from it. She has a pencil in her hand and her notebook is lying on the seat beside her. It seems like she is stuck and I recognise the sum. 'If you take the root of this equation, you'll get the correct answer.' I speak up but my voice startles her and she jumps a little before looking up. 'Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.' She smiles a little and empties the seat beside her for me. 'That's okay. I didn't hear you come in.'

I sit down and drag my seat a little away from hers without her noticing. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable with me. 'So you've done this problem?' I nod. 'You're having some trouble with it, right?' 'Yes, I am. Let me try out with the root.' She starts solving it from the scratch and I just notice how neat her handwriting is: cursive and falling towards the right. A minute later, she stops writing and I realise she's stuck again. Instinctively, I raise my hand towards her notebook to pinpoint which step she did wrong. My hand brushes lightly over hers which is still holding the pencil and resting on the point where she stopped. I pull my hand back in a jiffy and so does she. 'Sorry, ' I murmur. To end the awkward situation, I quickly start explaining her how to solve the problem, this time keeping a check on how far my hands go. Her hands are also safely tucked between her stomach and the notebook in her lap.

As she solves the sum successfully this time, she lets out an audible sigh. 'Thank you so much! I've been literally stuck on this one problem for more than twenty minutes.' I smile. 'Okay. Since I'm done, we can start with the planning now.' She puts her book in the bag and opens the notes she had scribbled while the professor gave us pointers yesterday. 'Let's first sketch out a plan on a day-to-day basis, as in plan what we can do today, tomorrow and then how many days we'll have.' 'That's a good idea,' I answer. As we proceed to sketch out a schedule considering her work days, we figure out we'll need to work for six out of the ten days we have before the party. Two for shopping and four for further planning. I encourage her to share any ideas she has about how she wants the decorations and she starts explaining. I zone in and out of consciousness as she speaks, sometimes appreciating her ideas and sometimes staring at the way she uses her hands to emphasise her views. After she finishes, she asks me about my ideas and I quickly make up a few, not wanting her to feel as if I'm making her do all the thinking. With both of ours ideas laid in front, we devise a clear schedule of the tasks to be done. Forty minutes later, we have an agenda and we agree on starting the next day. With that, she gets up and walks out of the room after a polite smile and a courteous goodbye. I see her leave the college premises with a satisfied smile. We talked today and much without the stiffness like earlier.

The next day she walks in the class when I'm standing at the door with a friend. I look at her and our eyes meet. She smiles and greets me with a 'Hi' before going to sit in her regular seat. I don't know how to express the joy at being greeted by her in the morning for the first time in three years. I follow her with my eyes until she sits down, only moving from my place when I hear my friend telling me to take a seat before the class begins. All through the class, I feel a little distracted with half of my attention on the girl in a white tee paired with faded jeans, sitting there and concentrating on the task of jotting down any notes from the lecture. As the class dismisses and she gets up from her seat to leave the room for the next lecture, I hurry towards the door in hope of another greeting. My heart jumps with happiness when she actually raises her eyes to look at me saying, 'See you at lunch.' The only response I manage to get in is a 'Sure' with a smile which doesn't reveal my inner delight at the thought. We had come to a decision the last day, that we'll meet at the lunch hour on the days she has to work and since today wasn't an off for her, we are going to discuss matters over lunch. I walk in the opposite direction of her class to attend my own, eager to have the first half of the day over with.

I buy myself a sandwich while I look around the cafeteria to see if she is here. She isn't, so I inform Ayush and Anaya I have some work and hurry to the room where she usually is before lunch. Halfway through, we meet. She wants us to start immediately. 'Aren't you going to get yourself some lunch?' I ask her to which she says she isn't hungry. The first thing we need to do is survey the venue which, by no surprise, is the college's backyard playground. The ground has space enough to hold a grand party. We stand in the centre of the area ignoring the hustle bustle of the lunch hour and brainstorm the ideas we listed yesterday trying to visualise how it might look. A half an hour later, we head over to sit on the grass in the small garden off to the side of the playground to make a pencil sketch of the prospective result of the work we have to do. The bell rings a moment after we finish and we both get up to leave to our respective classrooms. She walks ahead of me and just as we're about to step in the building, Ayush and Anaya come out. Ayush smiles widely at Geet whereas Anaya comes straight to me. After responding with a cordial greeting to Ayush's 'Hi', she excuses herself and leaves. 'You didn't tell me you were working with Geet,' says Ayush with his eyes still trailing behind Geet's disappearing figure. 'Forget it. Let's go to class, we're getting late.' I roll my eyes at Ayush and start to lead the way.

We decide to visit the stationary and gift shops the next day. On the way, we have small talks, the topics ranging from the Algebra class we have together to the party to the speech we had a few days back. She compliments me about my speech and I smile, telling her that hers was really good. Visiting three different shops, we indulge in picking out the required things staying well within the budget allotted by the college. After we're done, we agree on dropping everything off in the common room cupboard in college. The campus is almost empty except for the cleaning crew. Hurriedly putting everything in the cupboard, we walk out and Geet turns to go left. I call out after her, asking her if I can drop her somewhere. She politely refuses and informs me that the place she has to go isn't far. I wait till she disappears out of my sight before heading back home, content with my day's progression.

The next day she has to work again so we meet during lunch in the garden, the place we sat at earlier. She seems to be happy, smiling a lot and talking with more ease. I'm happy to be with her. My cell phone beeps indicating a new message. I read it and laugh out loud at the joke I've received. Geet looks at me questioningly and I hand over my phone to her to let her read it herself. A moment later she bursts out laughing and I join her again. With tears in our eyes and both of us holding our stomachs from laughing so hard, we quieten, chuckling every few seconds. Then begins a whole round of cracking jokes between the two of us. I narrate one to her and we laugh, then she narrates one and we laugh. As I watch her laugh so freely, I realise I've never seen this side of her. Which side have you seen of her, Maan? My brain mocks me. I agree with my brain. I've never known that the quiet somber girl whose mysteriousness and aloofness attracted me could have such different shades to her personality. Our laughter is cut short when the bell rings and it dawns on us that we haven't gotten anything done today. Thanks to this rendezvous, we're going to be a day behind our planned schedule. Thank heavens we have four spare days, though I don't regret having gotten another day with her.

The next day I walk in the common room to be surprised by another presence. 'Hey Ayush! What are you doing here?' I ask when I get close to where he is sitting, chatting with Geet who is looking at a notebook and nodding and smiling at Ayush's words. 'You don't seem to have enough time for me these days,'he throws an accusatory glance my way before turning to Geet and continuing, 'so I thought why not hang out with Geet instead.' My eyebrows shoot up at that. 'That's nice but we have some work at hand so...' Ayush just turns to Geet and asks if she has any problem with him staying here. 'Umm...' Before she says a word, Ayush faces me and says, 'See. She doesn't mind.' 'Fine. Stay here if you want. Just don't disturb us.' I move towards the cupboard to get the things we dumped in the other day but Geet speaks before I get there. 'I have everything right here with me.' I look at her and smile, now moving to sit by her side.

After a few minutes of silently making crepe-paper flowers for the banners we intend to put up - a task which had to be done yesterday but we spent our time sharing jokes - Ayush sighs loudly. 'I'm bored! Can't you guys do this sometime later?' One look of irritation from me and he says, 'Okay, I know it's important. I'll help you then.' 'If you want to help then just stay quiet so we can get this done in peace,' I bite out to him. 'I'm leaving then. I'll catch up with Geet later. Bye Geet!' He gets up and smiles at Geet. In return, Geet smiles too. I feel a little left out as I see them smile at each other this way. I clear my throat loudly to get Geet's attention, 'Can we continue?' Ayush walks out and Geet looks at me. 'Sure.'

It's Geet's working day the next day so we meet at lunch. In the usual spot in the garden. Except that the moment we settle down on the lush green grass, someone flops down beside Geet. I try to get myself to react positive to his presence, he's Ayush after all, my best friend. But I can't ignore the annoyance I feel. I can't say why. We have to complete the banners today so we get to work right away. Ayush assists Geet this time by holding the decorative ribbons and flowers she glues to the card sheets, in place. I pretend to do my own share of work and not be bothered seeing them work side by side and Ayush being funny which has Geet giggling, but it's getting on my nerves. I don't say another word throughout the time. When Geet asks if I'm done, I only say 'almost' and then go back to being silent, albeit peevishly. I thank God when the bell rings and we have to get back to classes. We collect the things hurriedly and drop them off in the common room, I stomp away without waiting for any of the two people accompanying me.

I see Ayush sauntering towards us, eyes fixed on Geet and a goofy smile on his face. Not again, I think. I take a step forward to keep him from coming to stand by her. 'Hey Maan! Going somewhere?' He says with a smile looking at Geet over my shoulder. 'Yeah. We've to get some errands done before sundown so we're headed to the flower shops. See you later, buddy!' I start to lead Geet to my car when Ayush catches up with us. 'Can I join you guys please?' His eyes are trained on Geet and I stop myself from pulling his face to look at me instead of her. Geet turns to look at me with her eyebrows raised. I shrug, not knowing what to say. Of course I'll like some time alone with Geet but I don't want to refuse something to Ayush either. He's my best friend even if he's acting like a total jerk at the moment. 'I take that as a yes,' he says with a smug look and proceeds to head to my car ahead of the two of us. I follow behind resignedly.

Geet sits in the back seat while Ayush takes the passenger seat as I drive to our destination. The whole way, Ayush is half turned to look at Geet and chat with her. I attempt to join in but back off when Ayush monopolises Geet's attention. Sulking silently, intent on not letting it show, I drive faster to get this evening over with. It's a relief to see Geet getting back to her professional mode when we reach the flower shops, giving a clear signal to her fan to stay put for a while. We order four kinds of flowers. Two of Geet's choice and two mine. Yellow freesias and jasmine is what Geet decides on and the other two types which I pick, are pink tulips and orange roses. Satisfied with the vendor promising to deliver the required quantities of fresh flowers on the day of the party, we head off back to college. This time Geet gets busy with her notebook giving least attention to Ayush and his antics, I notice with grim satisfaction.

Today is the last day for us to finish off with whatever we have planned. The party will be two days later and the final task for me and Geet as a team is on the day of. We have to put up all the decorations before the party. We meet during the lunch hour and give the final touches to all the banners and cards we have been working on for the past six days. Since the task only occupies us for half an hour and there are still thirty minutes for the classes to resume, I offer to get something to eat for both of us. She insists on accompanying me to the cafeteria and we head off in the direction.

After buying myself a packet of biscuits and her, a bottle of juice she wanted - I had to argue a little to let me pay for her - I lead her to the table where Anaya and Ayush are seated. She hesitates a little before finally sitting down when Ayush sweetly asks her to. In a matter of a few minutes, all four of us are laughing at the jokes Ayush cracks. The leftover time for lunch passes in a blink and we part from Geet, going to our next class.

I feel a little lost for the next two days. I have no reason to meet and talk to Geet and that makes me anxious. We still come face to face in the class we have together and smile at each other from afar. She doesn't come to the garden at lunch hour. I already know she won't as there's nothing to be done, but I still loiter around to check if she does. The first day, I walk to the common room stealthily after my day ends. She is sitting right there as usual without any inkling of my presence. I can't ignore the nagging feeling I get that we both are going to go back to being 'two classmates who never talk to each other' like we have always been minus the past seven days. I notice her getting up to leave the room and I walk into the nearest room so I don't get caught. The second day, I peek into the common room for a while, deciding on whether to make my presence known or not. She looks up just when I finalise against alerting her. Now I have no choice but to talk to her since she's already noticed me. 'Hey! I just came to remind you that since tomorrow's the party, we're going to have to be here in the morning.' She gets up and answers with a smile, 'Yes, I remember. Good thing the college is off tomorrow otherwise we'd have to skip our lectures.' Walking past me, I hear her call out, 'See you tomorrow.' And she's gone. I leave for home too, after a little detouring to get a glimpse of her in the cafe.

I wake up bright and early the next morning. The party is in the evening and the organising team has to reach the college grounds before noon. The time at home passes slowly. I sit and chat with Ranbir before he leaves for office, give my mother company as she watches her favourite cooking show and then conference-call Ayush and Anaya making plans for the party. They want all three of us to go together but I tell them I have to be there early so the two of them should come together on the right time. Forty minutes before the time that I am required to be at the college, I leave the house telling Mom I'll be back to get ready for the evening.

The distance from my house to the campus is twenty minutes so, on reaching the campus, I just sit in the car and listen to my favourite CD, watching as a few students who are in the organising team, reach there and head straight inside. As I wonder if Geet's already in there and I should go check inside, she appears in front of my eyes. I add another point to my list of 'things I know about Geet': she is punctual, reaching the venue on the designated time. I appraise the beauty walking towards the college gates; the confidence and humility of her personality showing clearly in the way she walks: head held high while eyes fixed on the ground. Her disappearance inside the gates makes me snap out of my state and I quickly get out of the car, rushing forward to catch up with her.

We get to work after the initial greetings. The order of flowers we placed a few days ago arrives just in time for us to start. The buzz of activity around us creates the perfect ambience of excitement and anticipation for the evening. The colourful drapes we put all over the area paired with the flowers' lively colours make the surrounding a blend of rich Spring colours and relaxing environment.

We take turns climbing up the small ladder to hang the drapes and stick the flowers; when she stands on the steps, I hold the ladder to prevent her from falling and when I go up, she does the same for me. After we're done with this, we bring the cards and banners we've made from the common room. Hanging the appropriate banners in the required places and placing the cards where they look best, we're almost done with our job. A few final touches and we stand in a corner to admire what we've worked on for days. One more thing I add to my list is Geet has an artistic streak. She is the one to decide the sequence of the colours we have used and to say the truth, the place looks wonderful now.

Looking at my watch, I realise we have about an hour to head back home, get ready for the party and be present here in time for the party to officially kick off. I tell that to Geet and she collects her bag. Turning around, her foot gets caught in the uneven surface of the carpet and she stumbles. I act on a whim, holding her up by her upper arm. When she stabilises, I notice a little colour in her cheeks and let go of her. I ask her if she's alright and she nods, thanking me. I bend down to smoothen the carpet before walking to the parking lot. Geet turns left and I stop her. 'Maybe I should drop you.' She looks at me and I quickly explain, 'I mean, we don't have much time left. If I drop you in my car, you're going to get a little more time to get ready.' She looks at her watch, thinks for a moment and then agrees. I lead her to my car and ask her where she lives. She tells me to drop her off to the hostel which is a ten-minute drive from the campus. The drive is silent except for a few exchange of words congratulating each other on the job well done. Reaching the hostel, she gets off and thanks me. I call out after her asking if I should pick her up for the party, trying to make the question sound as courteous and unsuspecting as possible, but inside wishing she says a yes. 'No thank you. I'll be getting there with a friend. Thanks for asking. Bye!' She smiles politely before walking in the building.

I reach the college after taking a shower and wearing a white button down shirt with dark blue jeans, the top two buttons of my shirt left open. This time, I don't sit in the car because I want to be in there when Geet comes. There are very few people around at the moment as half the organising team has gone to get ready. I look up one final time at the decorations that Geet and I have put up, trying not to let any glitches be left. A glance at the watch is the last thing I'm aware of before my eyes float to the figure entering the party premises in straight white pants paired with a plain pink top which reaches just below her thighs. The gathers at the waist highlight her slim physique. As my eyes reach her face, the only thing I see is her hazels looking directly into mine.