On freedom
I was around nine or 10 years old, when I visited the sets of Ram Teri Ganga Maili, a movie my grandfather Raj Kapoor was directing. I remember sitting with him, observing the shooting, while also being carried away by the larger-than-life setting. At that moment, I decided that I wanted to be an actor. I realised that I couldn't cut out acting from my life. After all, it was something that was part of me, my blood.
When I decided to join the industry, there was a hue and cry about a Kapoor girl working in films. But now I would like to clarify the myth, that there was no unwritten rule that a Kapoor daughter or daughter-in-law couldn't work in films. If one remembers, Geeta Baliji worked in films, even after her marriage to my grand-uncle Shammi Kapoor. Jennifer aunty (Kendel) too worked in quite a few films after marriage. My mother (Babita) and Neetu aunty (Kapoor) decided to quit movies after marriage, out of their own choice. Nobody ever forced them.
However, the myth became a fact in the minds of people. And when I decided to join films, it raised a few eyebrows. While I had support from my mother and other family members, for me it was more about fighting the myth.
Hailing from a film lineage and being a star child meant that the fight to enter the film world and sustain a career there would be that much more difficult. I had to live up to the expectations of people, the reputation of my family name and fight pressures of constant comparison within and also outside the industry. I had to always face the question, "Is she going to make it in the industry?"
I was just 16 when I started shooting for my first film, Prem Qaidi. Acting was pure passion for me, which turned into a profession later on. I did not come with a set of rules to the industry. But I always remember my grandfather's advice, "Life is not a bed of roses. It's not easy being here, because there will be ups and downs, and one has to be strong enough to sail through this journey." This stayed with me, inspiring me to work hard.
I signed almost six to seven films at one go and did about three to four shifts during the day. My family calls me the mazdoor of the family and it's been a running joke for years now.
I went from being the actor of the masses to the actor of the classes. But the journey wasn't without ups and downs. I received praise and criticism, and sometimes, when the film didn't do well, it broke my heart. I converted all that negativity into something positive ' my driving force that eventually helped me reach the top. It probably led me to work hard on myself, and do roles which most actresses may not have been willing to do. While I did a Fiza and a Zubeidaa, which were emotionally strong characters, I also did Shakti where I had to be physically powerful and do fight sequences. I also did commercial films with strong women characters like Biwi No.1.
One day, I decided to quit films, settle down and start a family. It was a happy choice. I had seen it all, and that too from a young age, I had lived the life I wanted to live. I now wanted to be there for my children.
Today acting is a hobby for me. It is a pleasure to do something that I love to do. Today if I sign a film, it will be a role that challenges me, and not because of box office considerations. Today, if I want to do a film, it is for me. This is what I call the freedom to act.
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