Divorce and character, society & individual - Page 6

Originally posted by: Chitrashi

My personal opinion on Divorce - If during a temporary bout of insanity you find that you've made the ultimate mistake of tying the knot, then get the hell out of that bad place as soon as you can.

I'm a very practical person and I find it incomprehensible that one fine day I decide and declare to the world - "From this day forth, I'll not be attracted to any other man" or even worse "From this day onwards, I'll only be attracted to this one man and continue to be attracted to him." it is ridiculous to say the least.

Naturally during the course of my life - I'll meet so many men who are much more good-looking, smarter, wittier, wealthier and more in love with me than my current partner. The same goes for him too.

I can't blame my date if he automatically turns to drool at the young 20yr old, who walks past in the briefest of micro-minies. Hell, if he didn't admire a good looking girl, how will I know that he's got such a good thing sitting right next to him? He has to have a good taste in order to appreciate the wonderful person that I am :))

Divorce - get one if you can't live with each other. Better be good friends and exes than make everyone's life miserable. Children whose parents separate amicably are far more mature and well-grounded than the ones whose parents continue to make each other's lives miserable.

Life is too short and stressed out to carry a bad relationship through.

And from there comes my definition of love, as I mentioned a few weeks back in another thread. True test of love is that which lasts through 30 years of living together. Because by then one would've seen the best and the worst of each other. If you are still together after all that and want to be together - Hats Off.

As for society, I think society would be really better off if more people adopted the policy of minding their own business. Before commenting on someone else's marital state, please look to the argument you had with your husband. Before telling someone how to lead their lives, sort out your own mess first.

Society is no different from us. It is comprised of people - we, our families, our neighbors, our relatives, our colleagues. That is society. It is not an abstract thing that cannot be defined or touched. It is simply the people around us.

It may sound amazing, but the people around us see us exactly the way we see ourselves - in our heart of hearts. If we have the confidence down to the core of our beings that what we've done is right, "kisi mai ke laal mein himmat nahi hai jo aapse sawal kare" (sometimes filmi lines do help 😆)

Well that's my two bits on it.

Originally posted by: U-No-Poo

I have no idea what has been going on on this forum so I'm just going to take a cue from your post. Point no.1, people don't bash Aamir because he's a divorcee, people bash Aamir because he cheated on his previous wife Reena. Infidelity is something that can only lead to two situations: 1) Nasty divorce and 2) A very, very resentful marriage. You know what they say, 'Stay faithful, or stay single'

Secondly, I agree with you about the attitude of our society towards divorce. I have witnessed divorce extremely closely and I can say for sure that neither of the two are at fault and nor are they completely guiltless. Relationships are a very grey area and it's pointless to try to view it's failures in black and white. People view the failure of marriage as the failure of the person, as if being in a marriage is not about togetherness and love, but rather about being imprisoned for life. This entire hulabaloo about marriage stems not from just one set of thoughts, but a multitude of them. For many parents, getting their girls married off is the ultimate goal of their lives. Marriage for many is also more of a business deal than anything else. It's all about the best bargain one party can get in exchange for the girl. In return their daughter shall receive food, shelter, clothes and most importantly, a respectable surname. Most people get into marriages simply to feel secure - on a mental, legal and financial level. This holds true mostly for girls. Surviving alone in this country is a feat not many girls can achieve. A father's and/or husband's name is of paramount importance. Sometimes families go through with marriages knowing that they might not work out because they feel they might not find a girl/boy of the same community/religion/status again.

So the point here is, people over here get married for all the wrong reasons. It is never about love, trust, respect and friendship. Heck, not even actual International business deals require the kind of time, money and energy investment that these so called marriages require. Naturally, when two people get into an institution for reasons that are so strongly influenced by our society, then a rift in that institution causes an instant uproar in the society. We have not landed ourselves in this reality over a fortnight, decades and decades of misuse of this institution has snowballed into this extremely askew and rotten mindset about both marriage and divorce.

In order to change our perspective towards divorce, we need to change our perspective towards marriage first.