Hope
"You look beautiful. You are the most beautiful woman I know, inside and out." he said to himself. He didn't say it to her even though it was killing him not to. Because he knew that she would look at him with that wistful look in her eyes, like she was begging him to get closer and sweep her off her feet. Like she couldn't believe that someone would think that way about her, would care about her so much and understand her so well. Then she'd pretend that she didn't hear him, she'd ignore it, ignore him and walk away. As if he meant nothing to her. Absolutely nothing.
"I don't want you"
He was beginning to think that the time when she didn't know him, thought he was a nobody and then hated him for being a weakling was so much better. At least the hope was constant in his heart, Sharon would get to know him one day and love him just the way he loves her.
But no, she only seemed to detest him more and more every day. She hated how he had the ability to affect her and he knew that. He didn't know whether to be happy that he had the power to affect her or that everything he did eventually just seemed to rub her the wrong way, that every time he thought they'd taken a step ahead he realized that they were back at the beginning. She, in denial, hurting herself by forcing herself to hate him and he, in a world of pain as he didn't know how he could help ease hers without breaking both their hearts into a million pieces.
She was confused and now it was confusing him. How far was he allowed to go in trying to make her realize her feelings for him without making her uncomfortable? Was he still allowed to love her, or did his feelings for her make her uncomfortable too? Why was love so difficult?
"I'm only comfortable with keeping this book shut"
"Sorry" said the person who'd just bumped into him, almost spilling his drink.
"That's fine." he said, smiling half-heartedly and turned his attention to the only girl who made his eyes sparkle due to the love he held for her in his heart. He'd been staring at her mesmerized, ever since she'd stepped in through the doors. Heck, he'd been awestruck since the first time he'd laid his eyes on her. He could never forget the first time he'd seen her even if he tried. That moment would be etched in his memory forever.
***
It was a pleasant summer morning, the wind blowing and just enough moisture in the air promising the onset of monsoons. So he'd decided to take a detour from his usual path and ride his bike to the beach. The sun was shining on the horizon, children playing on the beach and adults partaking in their morning jog. He smiled looking at the scene playing in front of his eyes, it was turning out to be a beautiful morning.
It was then that he saw a little girl of about five or six, making sandcastles. She looked so happy that she was able to build it even though the sand structure was wobbly and far from perfect. He could tell from the look he saw in the girl's eyes that it was definitely an achievement for her. But her happiness didn't last very long, a golden retriever was running towards the girl and he ran straight into her sandcastle, ruining it along with the girl's smile. He ran towards her lest the dog try to hurt the girl as well. He stopped in his tracks when he saw a girl who seemed to about his age run towards the accident site. "Bruno, Bruno! Bad doggie." she was screaming. He could see her admonishing the dog, gesturing him to stay put at his place and Bruno, obeying his owner sat down, looking very sorry for his actions.
The girl was dressed casually in a white tank top and black track suit bottoms; she then turned to the younger, crying one. Sitting down on the sand, she held the little girl's sobbing face in her hands, wiping away her tears, she began rebuilding the structure. The gentle breeze was caressing her hair and so he couldn't see her face clearly. One moment he would see her lips, moving, possibly trying to pacify the little girl with her soothing words. The next moment he would see her eyes, the most beautiful pair of deep brown orbs. Much to his amusement and annoyance, she didn't try to push away the hair from her face as if she was used to this intrusion. He kept staring at the pair, the little girl who was now pacified had begun helping in rebuilding the castle. Both smiling and enjoying in each other's company and Swayam looking on from afar.
Without warning, the wind, as if it was in on destiny's plan for him, a plan that he himself was unaware of, changed its direction. And swept across her face, blowing away her tresses and revealing to him what beauty really looks like. Her huge and expressive eyes, the tiny straight nose guiding his eyes to luscious and plump lips, her smooth skin glowing and the sun rising on the horizon, casting a halo around her face. She was a vision, an ethereal beauty and he just stared at her, mesmerized.
Suddenly she laughed, the sound tinkling in his ears, her laugh hitting him right in his gut, awakening something deep inside him and at that moment he knew that his life would never be the same again. It had changed forever, for better or for worse.
***
"And what about trying to win a girl's heart through gifts?!"
He had unwittingly hurt her too. Whether it was giving her gifts as her secret admirer or loosing his cool, saying things he later regretted.
"You're an easy girl, Sharon. You can't fulfill my cheap desires."
And despite his harsh words and predatory stance, she still gave herself up willingly in his arms, her eyes shut yet conveying to him that she trusted him, had faith in him that he would never do anything to hurt her like that. Never.
He watched as she sat at the bar, not on the dance floor where the rest of her friends were gyrating to the beats just as she was expected to. But he wasn't all that worried, this was a decent party at Vicky's place, not some rowdy bash at Shivam's farmhouse. She was safe here and that was all that was needed to reassure him as he didn't want to hang out by the bar. He knew his presence affected her more than she admitted to and would only propel her to drink more than she already was. But he was unaware that he was driving her crazy just by coming for the party. But then again, he drove her crazy by just about doing anything these days. And even by not doing anything.
She turned her head towards him as if she knew he was looking at her. She shot him daggers with her eyes yet he didn't back off, challenging her to come to him to make him stop. That he would never stop loving her unless she made him stop.
"You belong here, under my shoes"
Yet he hadn't stopped.
Feeling defeated somehow, she closed her eyes, took a few calming breaths and downing her vodka with tonic water in one go, she signaled the bar tender to get her another. She finished that in a few gulps and grabbing her purse she stood up. And without a single glance towards her friends on the dance floor, she walked out of the party but not without turning around when she reached the door to reassure herself that he was right behind her.
And always would be.
Let me know how it was, leave a comment if you want PM's for the next part. 😊
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