Swaron OS- Hope; Updated, part2 on page4 - Page 3

He grabbed the car keys from her hand just as she opened the door to the driver's seat. She looked up; into the black eyes that she was sure would be standing there. Yup, they were. And looking at her with such warmth, so much love that she was scared her heart might constrict under its weight. He led her to the passenger side, gently holding onto her hand. Once inside the car himself, he extended his hand to pull the belt to buckle her up. But his hand wouldn't reach, so he shifted his upper torso forward to be able to grab at it, instead collided with her body. In a reflex, she plastered her palms to his chest almost stopping him from moving back. Looking into his dark orbs, she was lost in them once again. As she was every time they were close to each other.

"Why are your eyes so small?" she asked.

"I have no idea." he replied, shifting back to his seat deciding that he would just have to drive extra carefully because he couldn't buckle her up.

"Because mine are huge, really as big as saucers, aren't they? So I think God decided to compensate for that by giving you small, tiny ones."

He put the car into gear and started driving, trying to block out all the metaphorical meanings that his mind was suggesting. Was she really implying that... No. No, Swayam. Don't go there!

"Oh God. It's so hot" she started fanning her face with her hands. She quickly turned around to face the window such that her back was facing him and she swept her hair off her back onto one shoulder. "Will you help me with my zipper?"

It took all of his will power at that moment not to give in. Her creamy skin and bare shoulders begging to be touched, causing his breathing to become irregular and an urge to remove that one lone strand of hair sitting idly at the nape of her neck. He took a deep breath, rolled down the windows and switched on the air conditioner to full blast. "Feel better now?" he asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

He felt better when she straightened herself and sat quietly, staring out of the window. And a moment later he felt her gaze on him. She stretched her hand and ran her fingers through his hair. Once. Twice. Repeatedly, not stopping to notice how he was practically squirming in his seat. "Your hair is so soft. You know I've always wanted to run my hands through them, i guess I just wanted to see if I was right. They're even softer than they look." she exclaimed. The air thickened with tension which dissipated as soon a Sharon uttered her next words. "So tell me which shampoo and conditioner do you use?" he burst out laughing earning a smack on the arm from Sharon. "Fine! Don't tell me! You know the tips of my hair are very dry and I've tried everything possible but nothing seems to be working. But you can keep your beauty secrets to yourself." she pouted.

"Your hair is perfect, Sharon. You don't need to change a thing about it."

"Whatever. You just want to keep your secret to yourself." he could practically see the fumes coming out of her ears.

Chuckling at her drunken idiosyncrasies, he concentrated on the road once again. Barely a minute later he felt silky fingers tracing lazy patterns on the back of his left hand resting on his left thigh. Thank god she drives an automatic, he thought as she slowly lifted his hand, taking it into her own and rested it on her thigh and continued to trace patterns on it. Her alcohol induced restlessness was beginning to get to him. Ignoring innocent advances from a girl he had spent ages worshipping was impossible to do beyond a point, even for a saint like him.

But if Swayam was anything, it was controlled. He kept his feelings, his intensity in check whenever in public. And he knew better than to believe that Sharon Raiprakash was trying to seduce him, no matter what her actions suggested. Despite her big talk and bold dressing sense he knew that she was a little conservative.

After half an hour of companionable silence, her clutching onto his hand and him clenching his jaw for self-control, they finally reached Sharon's driveway. A guard stationed outside the house opened the gate for the car and Swayam drove into a long, winding lane. Halting the car, he looked around surprised that no one was guarding the main door. In fact, the house seemed deserted with no lit windows visible and the only light coming from the moon and the fixtures installed in the driveway for cars. He turned his head to look at her, her eyes were closed and she looked calm, at peace somehow. He smiled and indulged himself by looking at her for a few minutes, taking in his fill, trying to satisfy himself with the little that he got.

"Sharon" he whispered "We're home."

She slowly opened her eyes and passed him a lazy smile. "Thanks for dropping me back to my place." she whispered back. Both of them stared at each other, trying to make this beautiful memory last for as long as possible because they both knew that come morning, things would inevitably go back to the way they were, as they always did.

"Will you come with me?" she asked him, wishing the night and this moment never had to end. "Always" and she blushed at his response. They silently got out of the car. Sharon led him to a narrow corridor at the side of the house that opened up to her backyard. There were flowers everywhere, he couldn't make out their exact color in the dark but he was that they would look even more gorgeous in the sun. A few garden chairs and a lounging chair stood in the middle of the yard but what caught his attention was an old swing made of wood and wrought iron. It stood in one corner with twinkling lights wound on its frame, lighting it up and heightening its beauty.

Sharon grabbed his hand and took him to the swing, sat down and gestured for him to do the same. "You know Swayam, my dad got this installed when I was five. I fell down one day from the swing in the park and he banned me from ever using the park swing. I cried my eyes out in protest and that's how he bought me this swing. He's very protective of me. Sometimes your actions remind me of him."

Saying that she leaned her head on his chest. In that instant Swayam silently made a promise to her that he'd never let anyone, not even himself hurt her again. Whatever the cost may be, he'd always keep her smile intact and whoever came in the way of her happiness would have to move out of the way even if that meant him leaving her life.

"I can hear it. I can hear your heart beating." she looked up at him excitedly and bent her head down again, pressing her ear against his chest. She closed her eyes shut with the weight of what she could now clearly hear. Lifting her head up, she said, "Sharon! That's what it's saying. It's practically chanting my name. Listen carefully, 'Sharon. Sharon. Sharon.' that's what it's saying in every beat." her voice getting dimmer after every word. He brushed a lone tear that had escaped her eyes, his constricting painfully in his chest at its sight.

She pulled his head towards her and placed it on her chest. Her skin smooth against his cheek and the gentle curve of one soft mound tickling his skin. "I know it's not as loud as yours but of you listen very very carefully, you can hear it taking your name. It's very faint though." she said apologetically "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. My love can never match upto yours. I don't deserve it. I can't love you with the same intensity, I hope you can forgive me." she sobbed.

"Shhh..." she released his head and he cupped her face in his palms, his own tears threatening to spill over. "I'll love you forever, no matter what. Whether you love me or you hate me, my love will be a constant in your life. And I promise you Sharon, one day, you'll love me with the same intensity, the same passion, the same heat that I love you. You just need some time. And about you not deserving my love, that's just bullshit. I'm the one who can never match up to you Sharon. You're selfless, scared that you might hurt my feelings by not loving me enough. I'm the selfish one for not willing to let go, for wanting you, for loving you despite knowing that I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. I'm sorry." he broke down.

"Don't say that." she placed a finger on his lips.

They shed their tears, silently in the night, till they both didn't have any left. Wiping away the tear tracks, they walked towards the main door, hand in hand. She looked at him, knowing that their time together was drawing to a close. "So I had a great time tonight." and they both burst out laughing at the dialogue which was uttered usually after a date and this was anything but a date. "I really want to kiss you Swayam but I know that I might not even remember this tomorrow morning and I want our first kiss to be really special. Plus I know my mouth reeks of alcohol and I don't want to torture you like that. So I guess you'll just have to settle for this." with that she pushed herself up on her toes and gave him a peck on his cheek. Blood rushed to her face and she turned the handle to her door, avoiding his eyes. She was almost inside when she abruptly swung back to him, "Do me a favour, don't ever stop. Whatever I might say when I'm angry or upset, whether I deserve your live or not, I'll never want you to stop loving me. So please, don't stop."

"Don't worry, I won't be able to even if try." he crossed his heart as a gesture of promising.

Swayam happily skipped down her steps as she closed the door. And this was why he could never stop loving her, even when he tried. His heart refused to stop loving her. It knew she loved him too, even if it wasn't conscious and she didn't know that she did. But she loved him.

He skipped away into the night, the hope alive and burning in his heart once again.