Hi everyone,It's Saturday and I am back to test your patience and endurance, I have been told that I should not curtail my natural instict while writing this SS😕(I don't know if this can be called SS anymore I am already on 14th Chapter and we are just half way there) So here it goes, will await your encouraging comments and through analysis,as always please do not hesitate to point out any mistakes...
Chapter 14
destroyed trust, fragmented faith
"Gulaal, Kesar aa jaye toh usse kehna sone se pehle mujhse mil le,main usse kuch baat karna chahta hu", said MB while getting up after finishing his dinner having made up his mind to honour his promise made to his son years before about replying to all his questions...
While walking towards his room, climbing the steps, stopping for a breather he realised how age was catching up with him and it was time to hand over his responsibilities to younger generation Dushyant had proved himself worthy of looking after family and village selflessly and he was so proud of him, compared to the Dushyant that he was years ago when Vasant was alive, his death had changed him so much, after all they were brothers and naturally losing him had affected Dushyant and he had mended his ways for better, he reflected fondly but tears welled up his eyes remembering Vasant, with heavy sigh he walked into Kesar's room that he often visited in his absence just to feel their presence, he could see Kesar was different in so many ways but he was sure Vasant will always guide him on the right path, after all his brother was alive in his soul, and knew he had to complete everything that was left unfinished by his brother, he sat down on a bed slowly, staring at his boys picture in front where they both looked so happy and content...
DB walked in behind him, having seen him going in to Kesar's room, She put her hand on his shoulder and he raised his head slowly trying to wipe the tears that had welled up his eyes looking at the picture, "Soma main samajhti hu tere dukh ko,Tujhe Vasant ki kami andar hi andar khyae ja rahi hai,per yeah bhi to soch ki jindagi mein hamesha aage hi badhna padta hai,woh toh kabhi wapas nahi aa sakta lekin jo jinda hai unhe to yeah baat samajni chahiye na,agar tu hi itne saalo baad bhi yuh Vasant ko chod nahi payega toh phir PB aur Gulaal ka kya hoga,tujhe khud bhi iss baat ko samajhna hoga aur unhe bhi samjhana hoga"
"Per...Vasant ki kami ko puri kar paana itna aasan nahi,ek bhi din aisa nahi jata ki koi baat karte hue PB usse yaad karke royee na ho,ya phir gaav mein kissi ne uska naam na liya ho,Aaj bhi Gulaal uski woh mojri shambhale hue hai,bhale woh muh se kuch na kahe lekin main janta hu,Vasant ki kami usse kitni khal rahi hai,aksar uss ki tasveer dekhti rehti hai ghato tak,hum sab ko maya ki ek aisi dor mein bandh gaya hai woh jisse niklne ka rasta mujhe toh nazar nahi aata"
"Rasta hai per tu dekhne nahi chahta,tujse maine pehle bhi kaha tha,Gulaal iss ghar ke liye woh vardaan hai jo bahut punya karne ke baad iss ghar ko naseeb hua hai,iss ghar main tu bhale usse beti banake rakh per uski khushiya toh iss ghar ki bahu banne se hi judi hui hai,tujhe kya lagta hai usse sari jindagi yuh akle Vasant ki yaado ke sahare hi vyateet karni chahiye,kya usse jindagi mein aage badhne ka,ya khush rehne ka koi adhikaar nahi hai,sirf isliye ki Vasant aaj hamare beech nahi hai,Humne toh apni jindagi jee li Soma,umar ke woh padav pe khade hai jaha se ant bahut dur nahi hai ab,hum jee bhi le baki ki jindagi Vasant ki yaado ke sahare,per hum Gulaal ko kyun majboor kare wohi raasta ikhtiyaar karne ke liye,kya yeah hamara swarth nahi hai,Tum beti mante ho na usse apni,kya sari jindagi beti ko ghar bithake rakhoge,ya usse bahu ke roop mein sweekar kar usse apna adhikar bhi doge..."
Momentarily stunned by DB's arguments MB cleared his throat before countering with "Yeah nahi ho sakta,Jab Gulaal ne woh deeyarwatu ka faisla liya,usse majboor kiya gaya tha,usne iss ghar ki aur Kesar ki jarurato ko dhyaan mein rakh uss waqt yeah nirnay liya tha,aur jarurato ki wajah se liye gaye faislo mein jindagi bhar ka sath nibhane ka vachan nahi hota DB,yeah toh tabhi mumkin hai jab do log apni samaj,pyaar aur vishwaas se iss rishte mein jude,Main iss rishte ko tab tak nahi kabul sakta jab tak Kesar aur Gulaal dono iss baat ko sweekar kare aur apne rishte ko apnana chahe,wasie waqt aa gaya hai ki Kesar ko sacchai se waqif karaya jaye aur isiliye aaj mein usse woh saare sawalo ke jawab dena chahta hu jiska intezaar usse barso se hai...."
"Mujhe Kesar pe pura vishwaas hai,woh Gulaal ka sath kabhi nahi chodega,main janti hu usse,dekha hai maine usse Gulaal ki choti choti baato ka dhyaan rakhte hue,uski har baat ki parwaah karte hue,main toh bhagwaan se yehi prathana karungi ke woh Gulaal ko bhi yeah samajhne aur parkhne ki shakti de..."
"DB jaruri nahi ki hame jo dikhta ho,bas wohi sahi ho,kai log apne chere pe naqab odhe rakhte hai,jab yeah naqab sarkta hai,toh piche chipa chera bahut hi bhayanak aur vehashi hota hai...",Kesar had walked in to the room completely drenched and still shivering having spent hours in icy cold water trying to come to terms with what he had heard eventually being dragged out by passers-by whose yell and shout he had ignored for a long time
"Kaha tha ab tak,aur yeah kya itna bheeg kaise gaya Kesar,Main MB se abhi keh rahi thi ki tu kitna jimmedaar aur samajhdaar ho gaya hai per abhi bhi aisi baccho jaise shararate karta rehta hai,18 saal ka ho gaya hai phir bhi yeah sab...chal jaldi se kapde badal main garam doodh le aati hu," DB left but not before twisting Kesar ear and chiding him with her eyes for his childish behaviour
MB who had got up from the bed to leave the room, so that he could change was surprised when he saw Kesar down on his knees holding on to his leg and crying like a baby, his heart sank, for all his reproaches and strict behaviour with his younger son, he was always a softie who fulfilled his every wish and desires even unspoken ones and after Vasant even more so as he was trying to mend that gap left by Vasant and seeing Kesar like this broke something within him, he got hold of Kesar's shoulders and tried to make him stand up but Kesar just refused and continued to hold on to his leg and sobbed hysterically and MB had no option but to sit down and hold on to him petting his back trying to fathom what had broken his son like this
After a while DB came back with milk and seeing father son seated on the floor, holding on to each other, with tears in their eyes concluded that they both had been remembering Vasant, she slowly walked closer to Kesar and made him stand up handing over the glass of milk and ordering to drink it immediately and then went on to grab his clothes from the cupboard
MB who was quite shaken wanted to know what was troubling his son, asked DB to leave them alone for a while but Kesar said nodding his head "nahi MB,raat bahut ho gayee hai,aap jake so jayiye,main theek hu,kal subah baat karte hai..." MB reluctantly got up and left from the room
DB handed over him the clothes and made him sit on the bed rubbing his hair rigorously with a towel, stopping in between to ensure he finished the milk
He changed his clothes and asked DB if she would mind staying there for a while as he didn't want to be alone, DB who by now had guessed that there was more to that father, son hug than just Vasant's memories readily agreed and Kesar completely exhausted, emotionally drained and totally shattered by day's events closed his eyes putting his head in DB's lap who stroked his hair gently, trying to guess the impending troubles that lay ahead
Kesar had a disturbed sleep, Durgesh's words kept haunting him throughout, he woke up with a start many times completely disoriented and struggling to breath, DB who was by his side throughout kept reassuring him every time and petting him to sleep but she was worried and concerned about him so asked Dushyant to call a doctor but MB had refused and asked her to call him when Kesar was awake...
Pacing around in his room,he had made up his mind not to say anything to MB till Devki's marriage in three weeks' time was over, he decided it was best to leave for the city immediately to and avoid Dushyant and Gulaal till then in order for the wedding to take place smoothly, he didn't know how he would react if he saw them may be confront them then and there, yes it will be best to walk away as soon as possible and he had his college starting in weeks' time anyways so when MB walked in he was all prepared with the story that would convince him about yesterday's breakdown and how he had to leave for the city urgently
Listening to him and his reasons for yesterday's breakdown and for hisplans for immediate departure for the city MB's eyes welled up for his son whose maturity and sensitivity affected him deeply, he immediately agreed with Kesar's proposal for leaving and agreed to talk to Gulaal and PB who would definitely put up resistance as his college was not starting till another week
While packing his stuff with heavy heart,he recollected the photo albums that he discovered in Gulaal's cupboard all remembrance of his good time with his brother and Gulaal, who he had started hating after yesterday did he hate her?yes how could she hide such a big thing from him why couldn't she bring herself to confide in him,he was her Kesar and he had promised to trust her always so why,he shut his eyes in desperation and left for Gulaal's room in a huff...
After ensuring that she was nowhere near the room, he sneaked in, opened the cupboard and started looking for all the albums, he was determined not to leave any picture of his Vasant bha with her ,she had insulted him by remaining silent about his murderer, his brother deserved to get justice and he will get that for him at any cost, still rummaging in the cupboard for more albums he was startled by the noise from outside and in his haste took not only the albums but also Gulaal's diaries with him...
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