Disasters!

I guess for some parents they think since they did it and survived that their children should be able to handle it also.

It could be that the girl's family wants to "get rid" of their daughters soon and for the boy's family, they need a free servent.

Likely nowaday, some parents are getting some sense and are not forcing the children get married at a young age.

What I don't understand is that why do our Indian culture and other cultures thinks women are such a burden for a family if she is not married within a certain age?

And how do our parents knows which person is best for us as a life partner. We are not talking about school projects where the teacher pick out your partner, we are talking about choosing someone for the rest of your life. They know when it is the right time and with who?

Ahem (though he has be a jerk recently) got lucky with Gopi but Jigar didn't with Rashi. That is what I don't understand about arranged marriages and marrying at a young age. I am not suggesting love marriage is best solution but it is not better than arranged marriage either.

Therefore we exercise our right to rule over you.

We will decide what is right and what suits us and society.

Your hopes and aspirations are meaningless and no more."

Imagine if something like that was said to you?

Unfortunately, there are plenty of parents who still hold the above view, consider their daughters a burden, marry them off to a man with whom they have nothing in common and strangle any chance of them leading a normal married life. Pile on top of that, if you will, the disapproving looks, the, we have washed our hands of you attitude when the inevitable hits the fan and you have a snapshot of what some parents are like.

Shaun, I know that this has deviated from your question. Sorry.

You have an enlightened family. You are lucky and I hope your niece makes decisions which are right for her and not bend to the will of your cousin. Different cultures and communities have different values and outlook. Here in the UK for many years it was said that as soon as a child turns 18 they can leave home and start making their own way in the world. Marry who they want within reason and live their life their way. But the south asians are not the only ones to marry their children off at an early age and for them to leave home only after marriage. Greek and Greek cypriot girls are married off between the ages of 16-18, the travelling community, also known as gypsies or romanys practise this too as is the norm with some parts of the middle east and south east asia. The difference being is that in the middle east and asia the girl is still not given a choice. Culture demands that she is a silent party to what is going on. There is a call to make child marriages illegal, as you are no doubt aware, but because it involves young girls, poverty and tradition it is not being dealt with head on.

All because men bring home the money to buy everything in the home.

Going back to why girls get married earlier possibly as we are looked after, the man earns the money, and are supposed to attract that man, we need to be married young, when the looks are still there and you are healthy enough to work and also to give healthy babies (don't kill me for stating this please).

Things are changing where women want to be the breadwinners too. Go out and work, but society is finding it hard to adjust to this I think, because kids go to school and the teacher and other kids ask, who made your lunch today, I did it myself or the nanny did it for me and it's a big deal, the in-laws also from a different generation wouldn't want to hear that. So it ends up the woman doing the homemaking and earning the money, therefore double work...making the woman tired all the time and cranky.

So what is better to choose to get married to a modern man with modern in-laws that will accept you will have a career and won't do the homemaking work or marry your parent's wishes earlier to an old fashioned family do the homemaking, forget career and just stay home...look after your kids and hopefully you will do a good job and they will look after you in your old age and you won't miss the retirement cheques.😳