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Is Ahem being given a choice.. A question I keep asking myself.. So here is a small OS on what Ahem feels when Gopi leaves him or decides to leave him😛
Index
Part 1 - Page 1
Part 2 - Page 5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Choice~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They are kidding right. I really do not have a choice. This is completely pre determined and
decided. An eyewash. Not fair at all.
Ahem thoughts were in a disarray. He looked around the hall in Modi Bhavan.
The entire family was standing there with somber faces. His Kaki had tears in her eyes and she was silently crying. He did not want to look at one other person he knew would be crying. He hated her tears so much. But he could not stop himself.
Ahem turned around to see his wife standing near his mother with her hands folded. It was all deja vu, her bag, her sadness. But to his surprise there were no tears in her eyes. Just determination. She was requesting his mom something.
Her words just sailed over his head for all he could feel was the rush of his blood. He heard nothing. Everything seemed to be going out of control.
"Gopi vahu.. What is this you are saying? You are Ahem's wife." "No Maaji." Her voice again. She is not my wife? Ahem looked at her again surprised. "No Maaji. A wife is someone who gives her husband a lot of joy. I am not his wife in any sense."
Oh really. So now you are not my wife? Who gave you the authority to make that decision, I wonder.
Ahem could not believe that Gopi just said that. It was impossible. She said she was not his wife.
"Maaji, I have caused enough sadness for all around. It is time it is all done with. Please accept my request Maaji."
So she wants my mom's acceptance. But what about me? This is my life not mom's.
Ahem fumed but kept quiet watching the drama unfold. "Gopi vahu, I cannot.." "Kokila vahu, Gopi vahu is right. Let her go. It is fair for all involved." Kokila turned around once and nodded to his Baa.
So now Baa gets to say her choice. Why does not anybody ask me?
Ahem watched as Gopi made her way around the room getting blessings from everyone and stood watching him for a minute.
Ok.. Now come near me Gopi. And tell me that you are leaving. I want to hear it from you.
Ahem screamed inside himself. All Gopi did was look at him once with those tear filled eyes and turn to speak to... Anitha.
Fantastic. Now she gets a goodbye and I am not even worth one. Fine. If that is what she wants.
"I am sorry Anithaji. I should never have come between you and Ahemji. But.." Ahem saw Gopi break down and wanted to shake her. He saw Anitha turn her head away a bit and Gopi moved
away.
Ok. Why did you have to do that Gopi. You are indeed a glutton for punishment aren't you?
"Gopi, I will tell Mummy that you are coming. Ok? She already has Kinjal and Dhawal Bhai and
now you too." Rashi voiced almost a compliant. Ahem turned to look at Rashi incredulously.
There needs to be a separate loony bin for people like her. She just did not talk about having to feed an extra mouth at her mother's house. God. Why did you make me marry into this loony bin. To be more precise, why did you make Jigar marry into the loony bin?
Ahem's eyes softened as it turned towards his wife. She was almost near the door now. "Mom.." Every pair of eyes turned to look at Ahem as he called out to his mother. "Don't you think that Gopi is still a Modi Bahu and that I need to still leave her at her Maami's house with respect. That is least I can do." Without waiting for a reply Ahem marched past all and Gopi at the door to his car.
Talk something Gopi. Tell me something. Anything. Ahem pleaded as the journey continued
silently towards her Maami's house.
"Ahemji?" Finally.. "Hmm." That was the sternest voice he could muster. "I am sorry for being such a fool." Viola. So now you understand finally that you are wrong.
A smile threatened to spill out of Ahem's lips but he held fort.
"If I had known about Anithaji before, I would have never done anything to come between you both. I would.. I would.." Ahem looked ready to explode as his wife started sobbing again.
"Enough. Now just shut up. Shut up Gopi." That did the job. He thought. Her tears stopped in
shock.
Ahem drove fiercely to the spot he had brought her on her B'Day. "Now get out." He almost
broke the seat belt as he got down from his side. He was there by hers even before she could
unbuckle her seat belt.
"Walk with me will you?" He opened the door and walked away. He could feel her eyes on his
back as he walked to the edge of the cliff.
"You women do like to torture men don't you?" His words should have surprised her. She looked confused and ready to break into sobs again. "Now don't you dare cry. I just hate it." That stopped the water works for a minute. She looked dumbstruck.
"So why do you think you can make the choice for me?" He could see she was confused again. Calm down Ahem. She needs to be explained clearly. "Ji?" Her questioning glance almost
wanted him to smile. She was the naivest person he knew.
"What-makes-you-think-you-can-make-the-choice-for-me?" He spelled out each word slowly and
continued. "I guess you take your right as my wife more seriously than you pretend." That caught her. He saw her nod no vigorously.
"Oh please don't pretend Gopi. You take the rights as my wife very seriously otherwise you will not make such decisions on my behalf. Who gave you the idea that Anitha is the person I belong with?" He again looked at her confused face.
"Ahemji, I... I just want.." "What do you want Gopi?" He asked frustrated.
Just answer me Gopi. Just answer what I think your answer is.
"I want.. I want you to be happy Ahemji." Ahem closed his eyes. He could see her tears and his own threatened to fall. The idiot wants my happiness but has no clue that she is my happiness. "Do you even know what you are wishing for Gopi?" He asked her in a voice that was calmer than before. "You are wishing for something that automatically becomes impossible if you leave me." He had confused her yet again. But he did not know how else to tell her that she was leaving him all alone and taking his happiness away with her.
"Ahemji, there is no other way for you to marry.. Ani.." She started crying again making him mad. At her, At himself and at the world in general.
"What gives you the idea that I want to marry Anitha?" He asked with barely held anger. That got her attention. "Tell me now. Did I specifically ask you to help me get married to Anitha?" Ahem continued now that he had stopped her tears even it was shock doing the job.
"So you came to your own conclusion about my likes and dislikes and decided to do what you think is best for me. Why do you women not understand? You tell me you are giving me the
best choices but all you are doing is making me pick exactly what you want, whether I like it or not. Mom did the same 2 years back and now you are doing the same. All in the name of love."
His frustration evident in the words he spoke, Ahem continued talking as he paced and looked
at his wife from time to time.
"Now, You want to leave leaving me to do what? If you think you are dong me a favor, think again. You are just leaving me to pick up the pieces again like the first time.. Only this time it will be the pieces of my heart and yours combined, pieces that will never be able to come together again. On top of it you are pushing Anitha to have the same fate as yours, tied to me to make her life hell." "But Ahemji..."
"Now just listen. You made your speech back home..." Ahem added as he continued to rant. "I am saying I do not want to marry Anitha. what will you say to that? You do not have words left?" He asked as Gopi looked at him surprised again.
"And don't act all surprised. Why it surprises you, I cannot understand. You had it all planned out. By walking out on me, you can be free and you give me no choice but to marry someone I do not love. All because I am bound by your love and mom's love. You women are just the limit." Her 'Oh' told him that she was finally starting to understand what he was saying.
Ahem stood in front of Gopi and held both her shoulders. "Do you really want this Gopi? Just once, once think of what you are doing from my perspective. You are making me the lamb in
the altar again. Saying that you are making things easy for me, you are making it difficult. You tell me you are making my choice easy by walking out but all you are doing is taking the choice I want out of reckoning. I want to be with you Gopi, spend my life with you, loving you and being loved by you. But then you seem to have other ideas."
Ahem dropped his hands in defeat and turned around. His anger had died long ago. He just wanted to get this done with. Again what choice do I have left?
"Ahemji?" Her shaky voice made him stop and he slowly turned. "You love me?" It was his turn to be surprised. " What is so new in that? You have known for sometime now. But if you still have a doubt, then here. I love you. I am in love with you. Dammit. Is this all about this? You think I do not love you." Her sobs told him she thought exactly that. He wondered why he felt so surprised. His gawar wife usually needed things to be told in black and white. Of course she thought he did not love her. He had never told her in so many words.
"Gopi.." He went near her wanting to hug her but stopping himself. "I love you Gopi.. Only you. Anitha's marriage, her talks of being in love with me.. I am guilty for making her feel that way because of the past. We did not have the best of break ups." He raised her face using her chin and looked into her eyes.
"Anitha being here made no difference to me or to our relationship. I thought I will help her get over this. That was the least I could do after what she has gone through because of me. She is afterall still a part of my past. I thought you would understand that Gopi." He said and found her tears drying up and her eyes light up again.
"Ahemji I.." "Shh.." He placed a finger on her lips and continued. "So, do you still think I should marry Anitha?" She nodded no shyly. "And would you still leave me even if I ask you or rather beg you not to?" Gopi nodded no too and tried to talk.
"You will still leave me?" Her alaricity at saying no made him smile. "Alright then, lets go." He took Gopi's hands in his and strode purposefully towards the car.
"By the way, Gopi.. Do you love me?" That made her stop in her tracks for a second and then he saw her blush and nod. "Hmm. So you do love me. Then no more leaving for whatever the reason." His heart beat faster as she nodded yes. "Come on then."
Husband and wife started back in the car. Silence prevailed each lost in their own thoughts.. a small smile on their lips. "Ahemji?" "Hmm.." "This is not the way to our home."
"I am not going back home." Gopi looked puzzled. "I am going to your Maami's house." That got her eyes to widen again.
"Do you think I will let the chance to see what she has prepared for your dinner and how can we let it go waste. Let us pay your Maami and my dear sister a visit shall we?" Gopi nodded oblivious to his menacing tone directed at his sister and her Maami.
Ahem was ready for his next mission. "And call Rashi to meet you there. Just tell her that you will meet her at your Maami's." Ahem smiled at Gopi fondly as she proceeded to do what he asked. No questions asked. He would make sure that her innocence remained intact. He just
had to handle a couple.. no 3 things before he was finally done. He better call Jigar too..
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