OS: Naku - 'I do!' Pt 3

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Nikita

@Dancingdoll

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

Hi Guys,

This is my first shot at OS. My OS does not have much of action or turning points. It has just Mohabbat. ❤️ I have tried filling it with lot of Pyaar and Mohabbat, ❤️ write it from an angle as I perceive Mohabbat! I have tried making the USP of this OS as only dialogues because I feel that Dutta and Naku's character are profound because of their thinking (dialogues) and expressions. So, I am sorry if you would be disappointed because of no-action! 😛❤️

This is an extension to my dream. My dream? Here you go -

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1478304

I have divided it into three parts:

Part I: Naku's dilemma and Chulbulle Pandey - Page 1

Part II: Naku says, "I do" - Page 2

Part III: Face revelation - Page 15

The Part I: Naku's dilemma and Chulbulle Pandey is below -

Please do leave your comments.

Love,
DD

Edited by Dancingdoll - 15 years ago

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Nikita

@Dancingdoll

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

Part I: Naku's dilemma and Chulbulle Pandey

A little background before I start: Dutta's proposal has been left hanging by Naku and after an unproductive tete-a-tete with Dutta, Naku has left PN in great turmoil, lost in thought, hurt by Dutta's words and in dilemma about her love. Dutta and her last conversation is only stated implicitly.

Naku is walking aimlessly on the road, Dutta's words haunting her.

"Kya tu mere se shaadi karegi?"…and then suddenly his tormented face, comes in front of her, accusing her – "Tu kya chahti hai Naku? Tu bhi mujhe dhoka denaa chahti thi.", "Yeh tha teraa khel.". Naku's innocent mind is having a tough time processing words like "dhoka" and "khel". These words were alien to her, how could she be associated to it?

She has tears in her eyes.

"Sahib ko lagtaa meine unhe dhokaa diyaa."

She pauses. "Meine unhe sachchi dhokaa diyaa kya? Woh bolte mein khel kheli unke saath. Mein apne sahib ke saath khel kaise khel sakti hai?". Naku starts crying uncontrollably.

"Meine toh sirf pyaar kiya, aur kuch nahi. Ae Bappa, tu kya chahtaa hai mere se?"

She keeps on walking, oblivious to her surrpoundings, people or any commotion. Just then a truck comes in front of her and before it could hit her, a cop van comes in between Naku and the truck. The truck driver stops his truck at the last moment and Naku is saved. Chulbulaa Pandey, Thane Inspector, gets out of his van and walks towards Naku and shouts at her.

"I say, Marnaa tha kya?"

Naku doesn't reply. She is lost in her thoughts. CP notices her dry tears and gets the picture.

"I say, Damsel in Distress…huh?" 😆😆 He pulls her by hand and pushes her in the van. He then goes to the truck driver, snatches the license and tells the driver to report to the thana tomorrow morning. Along with Naku, he then leaves in his van.

CP tries talking to her but doesn't get any reply from her. A click of fingers and Naku comes to the current world and tries getting familiar with the surroundings.

CP is amused – 'Kaun hai be tu? Aaj god ke saath appointment karke aayi thi kya?" 😉😛

Naku looks at him zapped! She keeps quiet.

CP continues – "I say, Goongi hai? Behri hai?" 😲

Naku still keeps quiet, when CP gets extremely pissed 😡– "Abe kuch bol, nahi to lock up mein daal doonga. I say, Wahaan jitni marzi ho, maun wrat rakh lenaa. Kya naam hai re tera? Kya kar rahi thi truck ke neeche?"😡😡

Naku flinches, "Nakusha. Meraa naam hai" She stammers, "Meine woh gaadi nahi dekhi"

CP gives her a side look and notices the sindoor, "hmmm…I say, apne pati se lad ke aayi hai kya tu?"…Naku looks at him and then shifts her gaze on the floor. CP asks her, "Pati maara kya? Abhi bata mujhe, saale ko lock mein daal doongaa" 😛

Naku gets scared, "Nahi Nahi Saab! Mere sahib kissi aurat ko choo bhi nahi sakte. Sahib to bahoot achche hain.". CP laughs, "I say, Pyaar ka kissa. Sahib wahib. To tere iss sahib ne kya kiya?" 😛😉😆

Naku tells him in feeble voice, "Sahib mujhe aaj bole ki woh mujhse shaadi banaane ko chahte". CP gets confused, "To tere ko shaadi nahi karni?. Naku keeps quiet. CP gazes at her in confusion, "Tu kissi aur se pyaar karti hai?". Naku immediately shots back, "Nahi, Mein sirf apne sahib se pyaar karti hai"

CP gets irritated and hits his steering wheel, "Arre, phir problem kya hai? Tu usse pyaar karti, woh tujhse pyaar kartaa, to villain aa gaya kya? I say, Abhi lock up mein daal doonga" 😆😆😆

Naku starts crying. CP gets uncomfortable, "I say, Chulbulle Pandey cannot see a woman crying. Dupatta hai na tere paas? Usse use kar!. Achcha kya hua? Bata?" When Naku keeps crying and doesn't say anything, he tells her, "I say, Kabhie Kabhie stranger ko bataane se raasta saaf dikhayi detaa hai." He for a second looks at her kindly.

Naku looks at him. She feels like talking and expressing herself and she starts by telling him how she has always loved her Sahib but never expected any reciprocation but now that he wants to marry her, she cannot envelop the one happiness in her life because she has a sinister truth that she is hiding from him. She doesn't know how to reveal the truth to him because that's become her identity and that's how her Sahib perceives her. If the truth came out, he would never be able to tolerate it.

Naku breaks down and CP gets further uncomfortable. He pulls her Dupatta a little to help her wipe her tears. "Le pehle ponch apne aansoon." He stops his van in a dhabba and gets her a cup of tea. 'Le…Pee le". Naku remembers the last time she had tea with her Sahib in the dhaaba, she starts crying again. CP gets further confused, "Le! I say Ab chai mein kyun emotional honaa?". He looks at her tenderly and tells her, "I say, dekh mein tere ko ek baar bolegaa, uske baad tune agar kissi ko bola ki yeh Chulbulle bola, toh mein tere ko lock up mein daal degaa….Samjhi!" 😆😆😆..

He pauses, take a sip of his tea and then tells her, "I say, sab ki life mein kash-ma-kash aata hai re, mere bhi aaya aur meine sabak seekha. Tere ko bhi mein yehi bolegaa…" He looks at the sky, gets lost for a second then looks at her back. He had a different emotion in his eyes.

"Koi pyaar kare to tumse kare, tumhaare roop ya beroop se nahi...tum jaise ho, waise kare,… ghoonghat mein ho to kare, ghoonghat ke binaa ho to kare,…saamne ho to kare, saat samundar paar ho to kare,... handicap ho to kare, healthy ho to kare,... subah kare ya raat kare,... khooli aankh se kare ya sapnoan mein kare... kissi aur ki ho to kare, apni ho to kare …zindaa ho to kare, marne ke baad bhi kare....Pyaar mein kahaan boundaries aa gayi re, Nakusha?"

He goes on, "Laila,", He notices Naku giving him confused look. 😕 He smiles 😊 and tells her, "Arre, humari laila, Majnu-Laila wali Laila...😆😆...Laila-Laila khelti hai aur Laila hi nahi maaloom, I say, aaj kal ke majnoo ki aulaad". 😆😆😆 He laughs but continues, "When Laila had to place a pin back in the thread roll, she is unable to do it because she finds Majnu omnipresent around her. Anywhere she decides to place the pin, she would only see him. It had been years since she last saw him but her love for him had no boundaries. It was irrespective of their distance, rate of communication or any other constraint". ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Naku stops crying but looks at him sadly, "Mein jab pyaar kari saahib se to mein to koi shart nahi rakhi ki woh bhi mujhse pyaar kare....Phir mere pyaar ka imtihaan kyun hai? Mein usse sach kaise bataayegi?" 😭😭😭

CP looks at her sympathetically for a second and then sighs. "Nakusha, Jaa usse sach bata de!" 😊 Naku looks at him open mouthed. "Par Kaise? Woh toot jaayenge" 😭

CP goes on, "Uske reaction ya no-reaction se teri mohabat zindaa rehni toh band nahi ho jaayegi na? Jab tune koi shart nahi rakhi ki woh bhi tujhse pyaar kare toh aaj jab woh tujhse pyaar kartaa hai, aaj jab tere sachchai batane ka time aa gaya hai, toh aaj kyun shart rakh rahi hai? Kyun dar rahi hai apne ussi pyaar se jis mein shart nahi thi? Jahaan shart hoti hai, wahaan dar hota hai. Woh chaahe kaise bhi react kare, teri Mohabat to tere saath hi rahegi na. Woh to koi cheen nahi saktaa na?" ❤️❤️❤️❤️

"I say, sabko apni mohabattein nahi milti, jisko milti hai woh bewakoofi kyun kar jaate hain? Yeh Mohabaat ke saath dhoka hai." 💔

He adds with conviction to her, "Pyaar kar Nakusha, bewakoofi nahi, Mohabaat kar, shart nahi. Ishq kar, dar nahi! Apni Mohabaat adhoori mat chod! Mat Chod! I say" ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Naku feels a new strength within her. CP reminded her of the original Nakusha, for whom Love was everything and nothing else mattered. She looks at him with awe and CP catches her giving him those looks. "Aur ab mujhe aise tookur tookur mat dekh.... Myth hai ki hum policewaaloan ke dil nahi hota....chota hi sahi, hota toh hai!..😛😛😛 Ab jaa aur zyaada time khoti mat kar meraa...Next time, you aimlessly walkoying in the middle of the road, seedhe lock up mein daal doongaa aur wahaan pyaar pyaar khelte rehnaa, makhi machchar ke saath!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He finishes his tea, takes the tea cup from Naku, places it on the table. "Cha lab. Kahaan hai tere iss sahib ka ghar?"

CP and Naku leave.

Leave your comments. Part II would be up in few minutes!

Love,

Edited by Dancingdoll - 15 years ago

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Made4eachother

@Made4eachother

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

it felt like i just now watched the serial.....thankyou soo much Dancingdoll....it actually takes a great deal to write it when you have no idea how chulbul Pandey actually is[without watching the movie..just the promo]...
you were GREAT........

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saakshi

@--Saaki--

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Totally cool ....................DD.....Typical Salmanishhhhhhhhhhh.......

Loved every bit of it .............Hope it happens similar way in LTL too.

Thx a ton for such a delited OS dear .Waiting for next............

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Shabnam

@Dew-drop

Trailblazer

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

Wat a fab start DD....👏
It was so realistic ....... kahin tum Cvs ki team mein to nahi ho ...😆
i loved the comic touch in CP character ....it was hilarious ..I can imagine Salman as this ...

nw post the 2nd part soon ...
me w8ing 4 it ..😉

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spandana11

@spandana11

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

DD very well written great start hope same happens on Monday waiting for next part

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left_forever

@left_forever

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

Wowwww DD its amzing. me waiting for next part

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Sheeba

@Princess_Priya1

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

wow Yaar this was superbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb.............awsome love it sooooooooooooooooooo much plzzzzzzzzz pm me whenever u write anything dear!..............Loved it a lotttttttttttttt..........................

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Jyoe

@Jyoe

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

Awesome OS did!!! Me too felt i was actualy seeing the show..n so agree tht there was a lot of Salmanish element true to it!!

n loved some of the dailogues:

Jab tune koi shart nahi rakhi ki woh bhi tujhse pyaar kare toh aaj jab woh tujhse pyaar kartaa hai, aaj jab tere sachchai batane ka time aa gaya hai, toh aaj kyun shart rakh rahi hai? Kyun dar rahi hai apne ussi pyaar se jis mein shart nahi thi? Jahaan shart hoti hai, wahaan dar hota hai. Woh chaahe kaise bhi react kare, teri Mohabat to tere saath hi rahegi na. Woh to koi cheen nahi saktaa na?

So so agree with it...Nakku ko ab nai darna chahiye..i hope aise hi kuch ho jaaye kal!!! kal kab aayega....i hv never waited fr a monday..like m doing this monday....

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Nikita

@Dancingdoll

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

Part II: Naku says, "I do"

CP drops Naku outside the PN and gives her the last warning. "Pyaar mein hosh nahi khone kaa! Ja! Usse kya kehte hai yeh angrez ki aulaad ' Haan! Gude Luck!" Naku smiles at him and CP leaves. Naku turns back and looks at PN with new determination. "I am here and I am ready." 😊😳❤️

Dutta is sitting in his bar, drinking heavily.

He in angry, hissing after recollecting the moment how Naku ran away from his proposal. 'Kyun Naku, Kyun?". 😡😭...He bangs his glass, which breaks on his hand and he starts bleeding. Baaji comes from behind, worried seeing Dutta in depression. He tries cleaning the broken glass from the bar and Dutta's hand but Dutta shoos him off angrily. Baaji stares at Dutta but comes forward and cleans the glass. This time Dutta doesn't say anything and sits sadly on his stool, his gaze on the far side of the wall. 😭😭😭

While wipping the alcohol and the glasses, Baaji keeps looking at Dutta sadly. He doesn't know how to help Dutta. He tells Dutta, "Bhao, Mujhe nahi maaloom Naku ne aisaa kyun kiya? Mein bhi pareshaan hai par mujhe itnaa pata hai ki Naku tujhse bahut pyaar karti hai'. Dutta's anger starts rising, he starts hissing. 😡😡... Baaji doesn't notice this and he goes on, "Bhaao, Usne socha bhi nahi hogaa ki tu usse shaadi ke liye bolegaa, isliye dar gayi hogi. Kal subah, privately baat kar usse. Meine uski aankhon mein tere liye pyaar dekhaa hai re Bhao. Tere binaa woh kahaan jaayegi?". 😭😭😭❤️...Dutta's anger increases uncontrollably and he gets up and smashes all the bottles on the bar in one shot! 😡😡😡...Baaji moves back in shock. 😲😲😲

Dutta shouts, "Pyaar Pyaar Pyaar! Nafrat hoti jaa rahi is shabd se. Pyaar sirf dhokaa hai aur kuch nahi, Fareb hai, aur kuch nahi, Dikhaawa hai, aur kuch nahi. Its like a Mirage, paas jaao to gaayab ho jaata hai!" 😡😡😡😡😭😭😭

Dutta sits down heartbroken. Baaji can see Dutta's pain. 😭...Dutta looks at the alcohol, toils with it and tells Baaji a little more subtly, "Kya mein itnaa buraa hoon Baaji? Sab ladkiyaan mujhe dhoka deke chali gayi. Naku tak mere paas nahi aana chahti"...😭😭😭😭... Baaji moves forward and places his hand on Dutta's shoulder. "Nahi re Bhao. Aisa nahi hai. Naku aisi nahi hai re. Tu ek baar'"

Dutta cuts in, "Ek baar kya Baaji? Kya baat karoon? Us Nakusha se jo ab mere se seedhe muh baat bhi nahi karti. Mere paas se bhaag jaati hai? Aaj jab meine usse propose kiya, toh bhi bhaag gayi, mujhe aise akelaa chod ke! Mere se itnaa darte hain kya log? Mein kissi ki mohabbat ke laayak nahi kya Baaji? Kyun har baar mohabaat ke sapne mujhe dikhaaye jaate hain aur phir unhe cheen liyaa jaata hai? Kya uskaa pyaar bhi mere liye jhootha tha?". 😭😭😭😭😭

Tears fall down Dutta's eyes and he thinks about all his memories with Naku in the Jungle.😭😭😭😭

Baaji is stumped seeing the emotional Dutta and tears roll from his eyes. He moves forward to console Dutta when a voice from behind stops him in his tracks '

"Jab 'Aayi Bolti' baatoan mein woh hanste the, rote the, tab se unse pyaar kiya,

Jab mere haath kaa khaake unkaa peth bhartaa tha, tab se unse pyaar kiya,

Jab chup chup ke aadhi raatoan mein, unhe dekhaa karti thi, tab se unse pyaar kiya,

Jab mere kehne pe woh daaroo nahi choote the, tab se unse pyaar kiyaa,

Ab toh khud bhi bhool chuki hoon, kab se unse pyaar kiya,

Bus itnaa hi keh sakti hoon, sirf unse hi pyaar kiya" ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Baaji turns to see Naku standing on the door, crying. She had heard Dutta's pain. Baaji steps aside in awe! Patil members had heard the smashing of glasses and had collected far away in the room. They all looked on, standstill! Dutta hears Naku's voice and his mouth opens in shock. He shifts his gaze slightly to look behind him but his back is still towards Naku.

For Dutta and Naku, others had ceased to exist. It was just the two in the room! Naku starts moving forward gradually towards him, love in her eyes, stride determined.

"Unse Pyaar karnaa aasaan nahi, kyunki woh bahut akdoo, ziddi aur gusse waale hain lekin phir bhi unhe dekh ke lagtaa hai, pyaar jaisaa gunhaa mein baar baar kare!

Unke Akdoo chehre ke peeche woh muskuraahat hai, jo meri din shuru karti hai.

Unki Zid ke peeche woh nanhaa, bhola sa dil hai, jiske liye meraa dil dhadaktaa hai,

Unke gusse ke peeche woh fikar hai, joh mujhe aehsaas dilaata hai ki mujhe koi choo nahi saktaa."

Dutta keeps gazing through his glass of alcohol and listens to her intently, hanging on to her each and every word.

Tears were unstoppable in Naku's eyes but nothing could stop her today. She was going to her Sahib. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Mere saahib bahut achche hain, sabse achche hain..." She continues with feeling, a slight smile playing on the corner of her lips, Naku thinking of her memories with Dutta -

"Jab woh mujhe dekte hain....mujhe lagta hai Kaala rang sab se sundar rang hai...(pauses again) 'Jalan hoti hai kaale rang se...,

Jab woh meraa haath pakdte hain, mujhe lagtaa hai ki ab mein akeli nahi hai',

Jab woh meraa naam lete hain, Naku'(pause)'. toh kabhie Nakusha, mujhe lagtaa hai mein zindaa ho gayi hai'

Jab woh mere liye ladte hain, mujhe lagta hai mein shehzaadi hai...Shehzaada aaya aur mujhe palkoan mein beethaa ke le gaya,

Jab woh mujhe bolte hain ki woh mujhse shaadi karna chahte hain, mujhe lagtaa hai ki mein ab adhoori nahi rahi..."

She stops behind Dutta and Dutta turns back, tears playing at the corner of his eyes. He looks at Naku in shock and awe. He lets out a very slight whisper, "Nakuuuuu".

Naku looks at him lovingly, crying -

"Mein aapse bahut pyaar karti hai...Yeh jhooth nahi hai...Pehle bhi karti thi, aaj bhi karti hai, aur aage bhi karti rahegi.....❤️❤️❤️❤️

Iss pyaar ki wajah se hi Darti hai, darti hai, ki aapko paane ke baad kho na doon..." ❤️❤️❤️

Dutta closes his eyes. He absorbs every word of the confession.

"Aapko paane ka dar hai, kyun ki aage khone ka dar hai....

aapke paas aane kaa dar hai, kyun ki kal door jaane ka dar hai......

aapko zindagi dikhaane ka dar hai, kyunki aapki zindagi ko thookraane ka dar hai....

Aapko pyaar karne ka dar hai, kyunki aapse woh pyaar waapis lene ka dar hai...

Aapse aapki mohabbat paane ka dar hai, kyun ki kal woh mohabbat mujhse cheen jaane ka dar hai...

Aapka dookh jeeti hai har pal, ab nahi dekh sakti....." 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

She pauses again, searches his eyes and finally completes -

"Mein aapke bina nahi jee sakti...Mein aapse bahut pyaar karti hai!!" ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Dutta is not able to stand there any longer and he takes Naku in his arms! Naku locks her arms around him. They tighten their hold on each other and cry profusely! 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

Somewhere Baaji jumps with excitement with tears in his eyes - Naariyal Poornima mubaarak ho Bhaooo. He bows his hand in front of Bappa, "Maan gaye re tujhko Naku ke Bappa!" ❤️❤️❤️❤️😆😆😆

Please leave your comments. Would love to know what you think of Naku's confession.

Love,

Edited by Dancingdoll - 15 years ago