Caressing hand over the page wasn't enough to control the tears. They dropped any way..
Used him?
He stared at those words and more tears dropped.. The words looked blurred now. Wiping of his tears he felt the diary close to his heart. He felt he embraced her but he knew that was never ever possible again. He has to feel satisfied with these memories. He was the one responsible for all this. He felt anger build up all over again but this time for himself. he hated being himself but he had to be strong. He had only these few words to accompany him any more. Wiping tears he continued to read further...
***
11th Aug 2009 Tuesday
Used him? How could he even think like that? I understand I made a mistake but I was sorry for it. I asked him forgiveness but he was too angry to even think straight. I thought as days have passed his wounds would have heal, he is ready to forgive me. But this? This is not what I expected, not from him. How could he think that I could use anyone. How can he think about me so low, so cheap.. Of all people I thought he understood me. Of-course I was never so wrong.
I have to take this difficult decision now. I should have been gone far far away long ago. But as I understood my own feelings I had this immense faith in my love, his love. It was that faith, that love, that gave me all the strength to bear all the hurt thrown away in my direction. I understood he was angry and I gave him time and space to understand his own feelings, my feelings. When he called me today to his house my joy knew no bound. I felt the person who got whole world in that one moment. But those words he used.. they sounded even more shattering and heart breaking especially when I was busy dreaming about the life together. He was angry but he took it too far. But not any more. I cannot take it anymore, the pain is unbearable, I have become too weak to tolerate any more insult, any more attack on my self respect, to see those disgusted feeling towards me in his eyes. Its about time I run... far far away...
Hey loved the start, I personally wanted her to leave at that point, so he could realise how much she meant to him..instead of the silly sumanlata story.
@meera01 : thank you. sumanlata was worst ever fall down of such a wonderful story and potential they had. @Mich: thanks ... i am going try my best to let AN in my imagination come out on these pages. Hope i can do justice to their story.. @Indira: thanks a lot. will pm you when i update. @honey: thanks ... the idea we had discussed.. whay have you not started writing yet? i am waiting to read it :)
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