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~*~ Part 2 ~*~
He read the page over and over again to feel the pain she had felt that night. Tears were not under his control and why would they be. It was her bare heart, her broken faith and pain filled in each word. Tears made it difficult to continue reading but he had to wipe them away, may be that was his punishment. Seeing that pain but feeling helpless. He did not wish anything so desperate than to go back in time and correct his mistake. Only if he could control his anger quick enough to not let her run away like this. He wished for the moment where he could tell her that he forgave her for whatever small mistake she did and he didn't mean to go so wrong.
Then it had felt like she had committed crime. Playing with his emotions, but only now he understood that it wasn't her. It was him who had done the biggest blunder of all time. Every word, every move, everything about her was crying out loud that she cared. But he was the one who wanted to hear it out loud. He was the one who had not trusted her, her feelings, her love. Yes she was in love, probably she wasn't sure, she wasn't ready to handle it all but she had cared so much so that she had taken all his wrath, all the accusations, insults and what not so silently just with a hope he would understand it one day. But that day didn't come for her ever. She broke down, there was nothing more she could do and she had gone. He was still in his world thinking about how to make her suffer, he didnt even notice when she disappeared until it hit him hard. And now there was no sign of her. No trace except these few pieces of paper which now seemed like the treasure million worth.
Every read, though more painful, miserable, it felt like he understood her better. He couldn't believe that he had become so blind in his jealousy that his eyes, brain and his ears had conspired to believe that she was the one using him. She was the one playing with his emotions. All for her easy way out of the internship. The internship that she didn't care if it meant hurting someone. Of all people he should have understood it. He had seen her when she wanted to leave sanjivanee. He had himself seen that she was heart person and not the brainy one who cared about all these things. Wrong.. Wrong.. Very wrong..
There were so many instances when her actions had shown that she cared and yet he only chose the moment she had failed to show her feelings. The only thing he wanted to see was that she cuts everyone out of her life just for him. Shows him that he mattered to her, he was important. As if that was the only way. How did he became so blind that he couldn't see deep in her eyes. How had he turned into this shallow man he didn't want to recognize any more. His so called feeling and understandings for which he was proud of and felt so right were actually so wrong.. such a poor judgment. They were connected by such a beautiful bond which ideally needs no words, and there he was the fool who thought he was the clever amongst all that he expected everything clear out in words. What he saw deep down those eyes, what he felt wasn't enough.
Night was now growing darker. He stared out of the window wondering how on the earth did he manage to fall for a person who was so complicated. One moment all full of fun, energy and but knew so little when it came to expressing her feelings. She was the silent, introvert when it came to emotions. May be because of too many bad experiences. Nobody saw her that vulnerable, emotional side. He had seen it himself but conveniently ignored it when it came to actually believing in them. Now he believed it. But it was little late.. actually very late. She was gone.. She had not even bothered to tell him about it let where and when.. She had not even cared about her career.. and when she went missing, he thought that she was trying to make him miserable by not coming, weaving another trap for him . Easy way out of that internship.. But only if he knew she had chosen the hard way.. She had loved him.. cared for him.. never said it but why did she have to.. he should have trusted his heart.. everything was crying out loud every instant and telling him that she cared.. and yet he didn't believe. Reading that diary page, pondering over these thought he felt more guilt, more pain and helplessness each moment.
Nikkiiiiiiiiii...
He cried out loud..
***
She woke up with bad hiccups.. Someone was remembering her that too at this hour of the day.. Someone wants her real bad. The thought felt nice, she was the unlucky one who went to any place and ended up running away because of another deep wound, another heart break. This time it broke so bad that she wasn't sure if its possible to live with it. She didn't know how to let it heal. She had looked everywhere for help but nothing seemed to work. And here she got this hiccup again.. Can it be him? Can he remember her.. no way.. he had made it very clear. She meant nothing to him.. She should stop dreaming about it.. Stop expecting things that aren't meant for her.. She has to learn to step out of that dream world bad face the truth... the bitter truth....
Part 3
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