THE THINKERS’’..TOPIC 1. - Page 9

Originally posted by: chukkna

II anyways there are still many pujas where they do not allow women like the olden days, even if the woman is not in her menstural cycle. There is no scientific reasoning to it. Access to knowledge discussed below 😊

People used to say that woman is not supposed to do Gayatri jap, but there is no scintific reasoning to it. That was probably intended to keep women from gaining knowledge or access to it. I remember when my bro was given the yagnopavit, i was pissed at my parents because i didnt get it. My parents and grandparents agreed with my take and offered to do the same for me - i refused on the grounds that i could not adhere to the strict rules set forth by the janeu and i did not want to break them once i took it upon myself. It is a different story that millions of men with janeu do not follow these rules themselves but i would rather not have janeu than break the requirements...of course IMHO only!

These fatcs are baseless and I would only heed to it, if there is any logic. I wouldn't agree to anything that does not have logic. That is my opinion. There are still followers men and women who have baseless arguements, and I think it is still lack of education. By education I do not mean getting a degree, but I mean awareness and logical reasoning... so Education in true sense. Very very very well said!! 👏

Originally posted by: chukkna

II anyways there are still many pujas where they do not allow women like the olden days, even if the woman is not in her menstural cycle. There is no scientific reasoning to it.

People used to say that woman is not supposed to do Gayatri jap, but there is no scintific reasoning to it.

These fatcs are baseless and I would only heed to it, if there is any logic. I wouldn't agree to anything that does not have logic. That is my opinion. There are still followers men and women who have baseless arguements, and I think it is still lack of education. By education I do not mean getting a degree, but I mean awareness and logical reasoning... so Education in true sense.

Agree whole heartedly Chukkna.

Let me ask this...

We pray to the goddesses... and do you think these goddesses also go through this cycle and that they are not supposed to accept your prayers...

please do not get me wrong.. I am non-ritualistic hindu. I believe all these prayers are a form of meditation.. whats the purpose of praying, if you think about other stuff and chant the mantras..

I believe in God and pray to him in a way that suits me. I may not go to the temple often.. I may not do a lot of the pujas but God is always remembered by me in so many forms in my course of the day.

God is everywhere, anywhere, then if he is present in everybody, who are these people to make rules of when one can pray and one cannot. Sorry, II it is not meant for you.. it is my general question to people.

Will God be angry that a person is doing puja because she is having her days of the month? may be she feels better with the issues, if she does the puja...

Originally posted by: krutilynn

kudos to u guys! (nd mr and mrs xyzzee!) ...but i still don't agree with it to be commonplace....u guys have done well to go very far towards achieving the ideal...and that is great! well done......

O i agree, it is not commonplace. But i have to disagree with your take on how parents of males should get priority. In fact, no offense intended, you are carrying on with the practices of the previous generations by making 'son' a requirement to have any social status!! I feel that parents should be treated equally regardless of whether they are the parents of the boy or the girl. Like some people have mentioned before, having ugly experiences with the boy's parents are more common than the other way around - is it because the female's parents try to stay away from their daughter's personal life? Probably. However, the same set of rules should apply to the male's parents also. More than one example exists of mistreatment of the DIL by her in-laws than the mistreatment of SIL by his in-laws. You have mentioned in other threads that your in-laws are highly influential people and that probably puts you in a weird spot at times, but that does not hold true of everyone else. I think Chukkna had mentioned somewhere in her posts about how she is not allowed to visit her parents as much as she would like when she goes to India. She has her ways of dealing with it but it still raises the same issues. I know some women (not going to name any names here) who had broken this mould and actually insisted on staying at their parents house only and visit their in-laws for short period of time, allowing the husband to stay with his parents. Of course there were other issues involved but there was also a public ridicule attempted. And this one particular female actually was told by her in-laws that "what will people say?" and she responded "Tell them that our DIL is out of our control" - it was ugly, but required. I feel that if more women show these guts, then the whole in-law domination issue that occurs in most indian households can be combated. Its a question of standing up for what is right and changing what is wrong. Giving priority to only one set of parents by a couple is wrong. Like xyzzee and others have said before, it has to be a two-way road and needs to be treated accordingly! Of course, i dont mean to offend you personally, but i do feel that this belief of yours needs to be challenged, and who better than me *the devil's advocate* to do so 😉

Kruti - I loved all your points and above all this one:-)!! I agree completely....

Originally posted by: vazz

What is the point of being married, if one partner does not recognize the needs of the other person.

👏👏👏 Very well said, Vazz!

Originally posted by: xyzzee

And I agree with you Vazz! As I mentioned before on this thread - my hubby took a break for a few months after residency...I was ready to move but we did not need to whoch was good.. Now if I get a transfer or if we move back to India, we will definitely keep each other's interest in mind...Life is all about give and take - no one is more important than the other especially in a marriage.

sahi bolti hai...yaar!!

Originally posted by: chukkna

Very well said pallo. 👏

My husband took a break for 4 yrs in between to start a business and try out things. I was working all the time and took the responsibility to run the family smoothly. Now if I decide to quit and stay home or start my business, it should be equally acceptable.

As I mentioned earlier also, husband and wife are 2 pillars of the marriage. Without one other is incomplete.

Very true. Husband and Wife is a team. Sometimes one partner takes lead and sometimes the other. It does not mean that both go for the steering at the same time.. then it is not a team, is it?

Originally posted by: chukkna

I agree with your point Kruti, that Girls and boys parents should get equal treatment. There is no reason why there should be a discrimination.

When you talk about revolution, I would say revolution is necessary, jab paani sir ke upar se nikal jaye. I am replying to this only cos you have used my example, the way I am dealing with IL's

I can be revolutionary and there is no reason why I should not fight back. But I think it is my respect for elders. However they are, they are my Hubby's parents. My hubby respects my parents a lot, no matter what crap he gets to hear about my parents from whomever in the family. I think I would get biased if my parents tell some negetive things about my IL's. But I never saw him biased. I learned a lot from him.

We dont have to throw the IL's out of the house. They are immediate family and I would go out of my way to have a harmony. If it still doesnt work out then its totally a different issue.

Woman are always praised for patience and that made the "Man World" think that she wilol tolerate any nonsence. That is the reason she was reffered to as Abala, that whatever man does she would just tolerate. But they forgot that anything has a limit. Dont tweak the rubberband until it loses its elasticity. No one shd cross a limit.

So I still stand to the point raised earlier, that I believe in Eqaul Rights.

I completely agree with you...i hope i didnt offend you by using your example but i was using it to prove that i believe completely in what you did and what you had to do to stand by what you believed in at the same time respecting your husband - i truely applaud your approach...and i couldnt think of anyone better to exemplify 😊. Well said on the rubberband and equal rights issue 👏