Help me make sense of some things - Page 3

Originally posted by: Bana

Good one, Laila. This is my take on why a 30 year old much rejected plain-jane Simi would accept a hot 22 year old Abhi's love for her without question.

If you know your BF fell for your sense of humour and you yourself believed you had a great one, wouldn't you feel confident about his admiration?

The one thing Simi feels confident about in herself is her self-perceived ability to protect her family and do the right thing for each one of them (e.g. her confidence in her own decision to abort an adult sister's baby even without the consent of the sister or her BF). And this is precisely the one quality that none of her previous suitors even knew about but Abhi immediately spotted (remember he told her she taught him how to live for others during the attemted proposal) and admired in her. Hence she never doubted Abhi's love and admiration for her, because she sees it stemming from the one quality she never doubted in herself. Proof - she keeps saying "tum tho mujhe samajhthe ho na Abhi" in other words - you love me for this very sacrificial quality now you better accept it as I know you will.

What do you guys think?

as they say the moment a boyfriend becomes a husband he starts showing his true colours.........but in this case so far its not the case with Abhi and am happy about it..........but then there is no change in SImi too and I hate that....

Originally posted by: Lata

as they say the moment a boyfriend becomes a husband he starts showing his true colours.........but in this case so far its not the case with Abhi and am happy about it..........but then there is no change in SImi too and I hate that....

Originally posted by: Bana

Thanks, Laila.

Poor Abhi - khud ke pairon pe kulhadi maar di! Somtimes we admire a quality in others but may not feel the same way when that quality begins to affect our life. Lets say A admires B for his generosity and large-heartedness before marriage, would she feel the same way about it after marriage with a mortgage and the kids' education to pay for 😃!

But seriously, if I were Abhi I would say - while I admire this quality in you and respect you for it, I feel you should balance this with your own dreams and happiness coz in the long run unless you are happy you cannot continue making others happy. I also think in this instance you were wrong to make the sacrifice coz a sacrifice is only good if the recipient continues to remain happy, it is no good if it provides only a temporary solution (such as the Sethi-Dagar marriages).

Originally posted by: Bana

Thanks, Laila.

Poor Abhi - khud ke pairon pe kulhadi maar di! Somtimes we admire a quality in others but may not feel the same way when that quality begins to affect our life. Lets say A admires B for his generosity and large-heartedness before marriage, would she feel the same way about it after marriage with a mortgage and the kids' education to pay for 😃!

But seriously, if I were Abhi I would say - while I admire this quality in you and respect you for it, I feel you should balance this with your own dreams and happiness coz in the long run unless you are happy you cannot continue making others happy. I also think in this instance you were wrong to make the sacrifice coz a sacrifice is only good if the recipient continues to remain happy, it is no good if it provides only a temporary solution (such as the Sethi-Dagar marriages).

Originally posted by: ramas

I think abhi did say repeatedly to her several times when simi had asked AA back instead of marriage proposal to RS when abhi got his shop back that what is the use of going together if you are crying all the time. 2nd Time when he went to her house just before mehendi tum apne bare me kyun nahi sochti. have a mercy on yourself and your love, then again he said similar words you think about sacrificing and I think about my love . I can not give up. He will get tired of all rona dhona all the time and will say start focusing on our happiness for once. He will support her for a while but then he will think simi needs to learn a lesson that she and they have right to be happy.

He wants simi's happiness at all cost so he may support her for a whule but eventually he will loose patiences and snap saying like why don;t we focus on our happiness for a change. especailly when he gets really frustrated living the way they are living.

Originally posted by: Laila2009

According to Simi and in our society in general, that would not be a sarcifice because she would be happy in the end. To gain the sympathy of the audience Simi is supposed to give of herself regardless of what matters to her. This thinking of others before her ownself is seen as a virtuous characteristic in our society.

I agree with you about what Abhi has done; it happens a lot of with couples. They admire a characteristic in a potential partner but after marriage they realize that this not something that want that much off. Kind of like if you like a guy who is always joking around; it might fun while you're dating him but if he can't have a serious conversation with you, eventually the relationship can be stressful and you might start to feel very discounted. What might have attracted you at one time to him, could be the very thing that would drive you away from them.