Loosing Virginity Before Marriage-DOTW

Originally posted by: sowmyaa

As most of us here are from more or less similar culture I would like to know what does today's generation think about loosing virginity before marriage.
1. do you think you can accept your spouse if he/she had lost her virginity before marriage? Yes i can . But i may be suseptible to bouts of jealousy occasionally and think about it .....best not to tell me ( i mean spouse doesn't tell me)😊
2. Do you think it's ok if one looses his/her virginity before marriage or you think it is something not acceptable and not in your (Indian/Pakistani..whatever) culture? I personally advocate controlling your own body and not being ashamed to express your sexual feelings as an ADULT . In India , Women are not allowed to express their sexuality ......the moment she expresses her sexuality .......she feels gulity or ashamed because thats what the Society wants .Now why can't an adult .....over the age of 21 years have a sexual partner ??????? Why must Indians make their women so sexually repressed ????????????? Why can't we just accept that women have sexual urges too , and if they are unable to find a life partner or don't want to marry soon enough can not at least have a lover ?????

I don't advocate promiscuity for any one as that leads to too many health problems and emotional issues . But having a single partner ....................whats wrong with commiting to a single partner ...............how does marriage vows change anything . You could be in love and want to share your self as an expression .
3. Do you think that we Indians/Pakistani should grow and try to broaden our mind in 21st century and accept sleeping/dating before marriage or you think no matter how much we grow we should not loose our sanskruti, our culture… and it is not acceptable to loose your virginity before marriage like in West. We absolutely should grow . Women ought to stop feeling sexually repressed . A woman must have the right to choose whether she wants to hold on to her virginity or not ..........like the case in the West.

Originally posted by: ~PaKi*PrInCeZ~

HI HI

im the 1st 2 post? not fair tht means i have 2 xpress my views frst...b4 hearing others be bold sweety .😉

oh well

i dont think v shud loose our virginity b4 marriage. yea culture and morals and values tht v have all grown up with teach us not 2 but even if it werent 4 tht i still wudnt feel right. i mean how do u know u actually mean nething 2 tht person(the 1 u give ur vitginity If you have a long time boyfriend , then you certainly mean something to him . 2). premarital sex as a whole is unreliableWhy ??? You aren't neccesarily waiting for your partner to marry you . If you both feel emotions for each other then ..........and thats enough. and many times its a one night thing Many times it is .............but many times you are with your old time boyfriend and then its not a one time thing . and thts it. also, this cud leave u pregnant,In our society where "sex" itself is taboo ...........just be a cautious adult and practise safe sex. do u really want the child of sum1 u dun care much 4 and ur relationship wasnt everlasting? all this plus the whole society thing. no matter where v live or how advanced the times get us desi ppl will and shud alwaiiz live by our sanskars. We are talking about empowering women in many other ways . So in this case too why should a woman have to be the upholder of all that is sanskar . A guy can go anywhere and he won't be found out ,The rules for him will always be lax compared to a girl . Don't even talk about holding back an adult man ...............say a unmarried man at 35 .............we will understand he has needs . But we will make a unmarried girl of 35 feel ashamed of her self if she expresses her self .

Originally posted by: Aparna_BD

Originally posted by: sowmyaa

Aparna, it's not always women in our society who is restricted frome expressing sexual desire before marriage, but men/boys are also not encouraged to make love before marriage. I think its just our culture to be virgin before marriage, including boys and girls. If girls parents or girl comes to know before marriage in India that guy has already slept with someone I don't think he would be eligible bachelor.

Originally posted by: dolly

Deciding to have sex is a big step for anyone, whether they are a virgin or not, and the risks of disease and pregnancy are very real. Women CAN get pregnant when they have sex for the first time.Not only should you worry about getting pregnant, there is also the possibly of contracting a sexually transmitted disease.
having said that just be a cautious adult and practise safe sex.I beleive this topic is for both sexes, i mean losing virginity in both cases.

Sex before marriage doesn't concern me one way or another. I feel if you feel its right than don't deny it. On the other hand I don't think that it should happen before the age of 18 years old.Although i say after college would be better. I feel as though with today's tempting offers for sex, it is hard for younger children to turn it down. A whole lot of children from ages as early as 10 to ages 17 are loosing their virginity in all the wrong ways. It could be loosing it from an unwanted force or just from bad choices, one way or another the younger kids today are a lot more likely to loose their virginity before marriage.
My opinion is that one should only have sex when they are ready.

'Ready' means when they are mature enough to do so. This could mean that they could be married, but in todays society where marriage is withheld alot longer, I think it is much more understandable that sex should occur once both people have finished their studies (obtained their degrees), have landed themselves full time jobs and are capable enough to take care of themselves.

I think sex at a young age or teenage sex is wrong. Because in reality the girl will be the one loosing out. The guy can easily leave, the girl will have/terminate the baby, the guy will have no emotional or physical loss, the girl can suffer depression, the guy can easily find another girl.




*A young mind is a wondrous thing, and can as just easily be persuaded in the wrong direction as it could be in the right direction. *

Originally posted by: Aparna_BD

I agree with you 100% !! especially what i underlined..

Also reiterating people , (including women) in our society are marrying late . (many of my friends and Cousins married in late 20's ). They are working women and chose to delay marriage . A woman then is certainly 100% ready and if she chooses to have a lover or sleep with her fiance, boyfriend .........then who are we to pass judgements??😛

I agree with u aparna, on this.I too got married when I was almost 27, because that was the age I was ready and settled, with a job and my education.😛