Child abuse - Irresponsible parents ???

Hi friends , i was lately hearing about a relative who is suspected by his other relatives including wife that he is romantically involved with his 14 year old girl . The men in the house refuse to agree that some one can be so disgusting as to exploit their own daughter.........although not confident. This girl has been seduced by her own father and thinks that its not wrong as she looks up to him .

While women of the family think otherwise !!!!!!!

As a teanager i too never felt good vibes from this man . But nobody belived me !!

What angers me the most is that when will parents from India start taking such signs more seriously ???????When will they not trivilaise what a child tells them (Child does not even understand what sexual abuse is ........but can relate what an adult did felt "not nice"). When a child tells them how uncomfortable Uncle or Mama ji or Bhaiya made her /him feel , when will the parents stop saying "you misunderstand him"? Whe will the parents stop from being so irresponsible ??????

Do you all remember how "Monsoon wedding" went , where people around refused to accept that such a respected , close relative can be a child abuser ?????

My question to you , are the parents responsible here who refuse to accept such things do happen in the society and do not take action ?????
Or may be only the society is responsible since they do not like people to be candid about illicit affairs ???????????????????????
Have you come across child abuse of any form yourself or with another relative or friend ? How seriously did you take it ? Was it ever reported ? Is this abuser still out there ? Did he even get a slap on the wrist for his disgusting crime ?

Have your words on this matter as a child ever been trivialised by an adult? Have you ever trivialised a child words on this subject ?

Is it time we start taking this more seriously and wake up and accept that pedophiles can be very near in the family or family itself ???????????????????????

OMG...I was just thinking of this point when I posted in the Can a mother be cruel thread.

I am a huge Law & Order fan and in SVU I have seen several episodes based on real life cases where parents rape, sexually exploit or abuse children. It is really revolting and sickening. Apart from domestic abuse child trafficing is really high in Eastern Europe and in Southern Asia and there is a high rise in 'sex tourism'.

Although disturbing, I can take minor comfort in the fact that in the United States there is some sort of awareness of this issue. Teachers, Councellors keep an eye out for signs of abuse and behavioral changes in children. Neighbors and cops do not thing everything is a personal family matter and will interfere when they suspect a minor disturbance (annoying but can be helpful). Family members take some teenage complaints seriously. (this can be annoying too...but again useful)

However, my heart reaches out to some victims in India. Parents and elderly relatives have received such a pivotal place in our society that people refuse to accept the fact they are human and can resort to lowly things. People are also aloof and fail to realise there are times that some interference is necesscary. The worst is even if such a case is caught it is hushed up to save face of family and community.

We need more social organizations in India and several other countries that constantly educate and offer support. Teachers, neighbors, family members need to be more vigilante and take behavioral changes, depression and other complaints seriously.

That being said I would reccomend everyone to watch the movie Lilja4ever by award winning film maker Lukas Moodysson. It is about a Russian teenage girl sold into prostitution. You will cry like a baby and it will totally move and change your life.

vishesh can u plz tell us what tht says..dont translate if u cant but jus the gist of wat it is cuz many ppl including myself dont know how 2 read hindi

I think sex work is one of the most common forms of Child abuse and Child labour in India is more of a rural than urban phenomenon, Children under the age of 14 are forced to work in Red streets,glass-blowing, fireworks, and most commonly, carpet-making factories like that place so its also child abuse 😳

Yes Child abuse should be taken very seriously and Parents should tell the Girls and BOys( here boys too bear the brunt) too that if somebody does this to u confide. It is important to take children seriously in these matters.
I remember my Mum always told us to be careful when we went out with uncles and cousins. It was quite irritating the way she used to drop broad hints sometimes obliquely but we got on to it. I also remember a particular incident in Hyderabad where my dad was posted some time back, we had a maidservant's daughter who was molested by her uncle ( chacha), my mother had then taken up the matter with the man. The girl was lured time and again but the poor mite had the courage to speak.
IN such incidents, it is shyness and fear of the person that prevents the victims from speaking, children at really do not know what is happening to them, at times the torture extends well until adulthood.

Originally posted by: Signora2

IN such incidents, it is shyness and fear of the person that prevents the victims from speaking, children at really do not know what is happening to them, at times the torture extends well until adulthood.

This is a very interesting question to ask. Children are raised to love and trust their elders. Usually abuse begins between the ages of 5-8 when children do not comprehend sexuality or abuse. They are fondled and touched inappropriately. They feel something is wrong but they are confused if this is just another form of kisses and hugs from parents and other family members.

Usually it is not until puberty that they realise sexuality and that the way they are being touched is inappropriate. However, by this time they are psychologically disturbed and repressed. It has gone on too long and they are afriad to speak up and feel controlled by the user. Many even are afriad if they will be taken seriously since the abuser seems to get along so well with family.

This is why it is necesscary for parents to watch out for behavioral changes in children and always observe their interaction with friends and family. It is also important to have sex education for pubescent children at school so they grasp what sexuality is and are equipped to undertsand and protect themselves lest they begin to be abused by anyone.

i feel a parent is not 2 blame if the child is bein abused as sometimes as i have seen on tv the parent is unaware of this n then once they find out they feel angry th@ they didnt notice it sooner

also a child dosent know wh@ their abuser is doin 2 them until they r a little older so when their abuser strikes they know its wrong but they dont know how 2 explain 2 thier parent

Child abuse in all forms is a very real and ever-present danger to our children.

It is the responsibility of the parent to make himself (or herself) aware if any such situtaion, or potential situation, exists where the child may be abused.

Also, please note that child abuse happens to both boys and girls. So parents of the male child should not feel that they need lower their guard.

Originally posted by: Aparna_BD

Is it time we start taking this more seriously and wake up and accept that pedophiles can be very near in the family or family itself ???????????????????????

I personally never have come across anything like that.But want to share , when i was growing up my Mom always trying to explain me about the "good touch' and the"bad touch". I still rememer thinking what does she mean.Then after couple of years later a news came about a young girl getting pregnenet by her own dad.

Now this story is quite old but things r still the same.We have to make sure we teach our kids about the signs and also make sure the line of commnication is open between u. so the child is confident enough and without fear to tell u.

and yes , never think only girls r the victim.abuse of any kind is wrong even if its done for so called disciplining the child...then its not discipline its a sin in my opinion.

Originally posted by: Vishesh

when i saw this topic ! This above Portion came to my mind, and i posted that here, cudn't translate that in English!

Yes! this is sad issue...

i have seen this in movie,novel and stories.

but Aparna! in my relatives or other women,i know, i saw that they are Extra careful abt these matters, and even a small hint, they take it very seriously. Though it is not reported to Police, (unless it is too much).

(the women, i am talking abt here, are from indian middle class)

Translation for those who are having difficulty in understanding :

This collection includes the attempt of middle gaed men's sexual abuse of young girls. The poem ' bimar ungli' (the sick finger) describes how a middle aged relative takes the little girl to a dilapidated house in an attempt to sexually abuse the child under the guise of showing her the palace of Shashikant (shashikant ka mahal)

Rats, webs of spider hanging from the wooden ceiling

Shaking, some from his own laughter and some from the weight of his 45 years

saidh - this is your Shashikant's palace.

Now undress so that I can see.

I was just 9 years and 3 months of age at that time.

What an irony of this society, where the girls are not allowed to cross the boundary of their house, aren't allwoed to play with boys, are made to hold the finger of these aged male relatives and sent anywhere without any reservation.

Hope this helped.

Vishesh, who is the author of the poem?