Posted:
Statutory Warning | 2009-01-09
Flicks To Be Avoided In 2009
Out of love and concern , The Bitch thought of warning her loved ones of the hurricanes and volcanoes in the year that's just begun. Here's the forecast:
Kajraa Re
Post 'Karzzzz', we 've vowed not to entertain Himess's evil designs. We will have none of that now. We tolerated him as a music composer, we cotton stuffed our ears when he took to the mike and were almost comatose when we saw him do something on the screen in the name of acting.
'Aapka Suroor ' was the biggest accident of the decade .Period.
There is nothing in the name of acting our Himess can do. His botoxed expressions...sorry...expression, he has only one and the jaw simply opens and shuts. The movement is that restricted.
The Bitch is sure actors like Uday Chopra are excited because at least now, they're better than someone.
And who did we hear is at the helm of affairs?
Pooja Bhatt, the chick who invariably gives us flop flicks. The combination is just so lethal, will even keep the popcorn vendors away.
What's Your Rashee
What's your problem may we ask? After Lagaan, Swades And Jodha Akbar, Ashutosh Gowarikar plans to make a comedy. Have we even seen a streak of it in his previous ventures?
Harman and Priyanka again? Ouch, that hurts! 2050 kick started the economic meltdown last year didn't it? Well, to an extent yes.
Priyanka may be basking in the glory her recent success but it doesn't make her so big a star so as to rescue a non actor like Harman. Or is it 'love ke liye kuch bhi karega?'
But what was wrong with Ashu when he signed Harman after working with Aamir, SRK and Hrithik. What a downfall , The Bitch thinks.
Highly avoidable.
Dulha Mil Gaya
Now this film has been in the making ever since I was born. How can SRK even say yes to a film with a title like that? This is strictly Govinda's territory, didn't he realize that?
And that too with Sush, who's hardly had a hit in her decade long career and has no sale ability factor whatsoever.
Newbie Mudassar Ali (Sush's umpteenth flame) directs the jaded and listless affair. This is SRK's biggest acid test ever, will he be able to draw in the junta this time around? Let's wait and watch.
London Dreams
Who wants to see Ajay Devgan? And who wants to see Salman Khan for that matter. Ajay may be an intense performer but The Bitch thinks he should only stick to the infamous 'Golmaal' series.
That's his domain. And Salman we don't even care anymore for his antics in the name of acting.
But what's giving me insomnia is the fact that Devgan and Salman are playing the roles of rock musicians in the film!!!!
What's that? It's like casting Dharmendra and Rajendra Kumar in the same roles. We're trying to figure that out and failing time and again.
And why is Asin hell-bent on axing her feet by working with the spent forces of Bollywood. Aamir is a class apart, but these two? Sends shivers down The Bitch's spine.
Run!
Rani Laxmibai
After a disastrous career, Sush decides to put on the director's cap. Help! What's wrong with her? She should have joined some acting classes herself instead of gearing up to torment us. What's with our failed actors ya?
Atul Agnihotri, Abhishek Kapoor , Jugal Hansraj and who all. Uff ! What do they think they're doing? Are we supposed to laugh or what?
But what leaves us senseless is the fact that the film is a period drama! Does Sush think The Bitch was born last Wednesday? Get your act together lady.
We'll cross the bridge when we come to it.
A word of caution The Bitch has spread. Pay heed dahlings! Gotta rush to the parlor...party tonight.
Happy weekend!
Flicks To Be Avoided In 2009
Out of love and concern , The Bitch thought of warning her loved ones of the hurricanes and volcanoes in the year that's just begun. Here's the forecast:
Kajraa Re
Post 'Karzzzz', we 've vowed not to entertain Himess's evil designs. We will have none of that now. We tolerated him as a music composer, we cotton stuffed our ears when he took to the mike and were almost comatose when we saw him do something on the screen in the name of acting.
'Aapka Suroor ' was the biggest accident of the decade .Period.
There is nothing in the name of acting our Himess can do. His botoxed expressions...sorry...expression, he has only one and the jaw simply opens and shuts. The movement is that restricted.
The Bitch is sure actors like Uday Chopra are excited because at least now, they're better than someone.
And who did we hear is at the helm of affairs?
Pooja Bhatt, the chick who invariably gives us flop flicks. The combination is just so lethal, will even keep the popcorn vendors away.
What's Your Rashee
What's your problem may we ask? After Lagaan, Swades And Jodha Akbar, Ashutosh Gowarikar plans to make a comedy. Have we even seen a streak of it in his previous ventures?
Harman and Priyanka again? Ouch, that hurts! 2050 kick started the economic meltdown last year didn't it? Well, to an extent yes.
Priyanka may be basking in the glory her recent success but it doesn't make her so big a star so as to rescue a non actor like Harman. Or is it 'love ke liye kuch bhi karega?'
But what was wrong with Ashu when he signed Harman after working with Aamir, SRK and Hrithik. What a downfall , The Bitch thinks.
Highly avoidable.
Dulha Mil Gaya
Now this film has been in the making ever since I was born. How can SRK even say yes to a film with a title like that? This is strictly Govinda's territory, didn't he realize that?
And that too with Sush, who's hardly had a hit in her decade long career and has no sale ability factor whatsoever.
Newbie Mudassar Ali (Sush's umpteenth flame) directs the jaded and listless affair. This is SRK's biggest acid test ever, will he be able to draw in the junta this time around? Let's wait and watch.
London Dreams
Who wants to see Ajay Devgan? And who wants to see Salman Khan for that matter. Ajay may be an intense performer but The Bitch thinks he should only stick to the infamous 'Golmaal' series.
That's his domain. And Salman we don't even care anymore for his antics in the name of acting.
But what's giving me insomnia is the fact that Devgan and Salman are playing the roles of rock musicians in the film!!!!
What's that? It's like casting Dharmendra and Rajendra Kumar in the same roles. We're trying to figure that out and failing time and again.
And why is Asin hell-bent on axing her feet by working with the spent forces of Bollywood. Aamir is a class apart, but these two? Sends shivers down The Bitch's spine.
Run!
Rani Laxmibai
After a disastrous career, Sush decides to put on the director's cap. Help! What's wrong with her? She should have joined some acting classes herself instead of gearing up to torment us. What's with our failed actors ya?
Atul Agnihotri, Abhishek Kapoor , Jugal Hansraj and who all. Uff ! What do they think they're doing? Are we supposed to laugh or what?
But what leaves us senseless is the fact that the film is a period drama! Does Sush think The Bitch was born last Wednesday? Get your act together lady.
We'll cross the bridge when we come to it.
A word of caution The Bitch has spread. Pay heed dahlings! Gotta rush to the parlor...party tonight.
Happy weekend!
Link: http://www.bombaybitch.com/site/statutory_warning/
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