once upon a time, we WERE friends

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Ritz

@glamritz

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

"Once upon a time, we were friends"

I had a very close friend back in school. We were 13 when we first met and we we became the best of friends for the next 3 years. We were really close and we knew each other very well. At least, I thought so.

And then one day, something stupid happened (I wouldn't go into details) but partly because of my childishness, partly because of her folly - there was a misunderstanding. Honestly, I tried my best to talk it out with her and explained as much as I could to clear it up. But she did not give me a chance, or, our friendship another chance. Also, there was an involvement of a third party (a guy.. )n things just got complicated. 😆 It's funny when I look back and think about it. But eventually, I gave up as well. Afterall I had my 'O' levels to concentrate on back then !

We still have each other on MSN, facebook etc but we never talk at all. It's been 6 years. I did contact her a few times in the last few yrs but there was no reply from her side. I thought with passing years, we would both have matured and moved on but it was clear that she did not wish to have any contact whatsoever. And I wasn't pouncing on her either. So I didn't pester her anymore.. I was cool..

But I feel really upset. I am going to migrate off to another country in a few months time. I'm leaving this place for good. And I am looking forward to it. I'm gonna miss everything here. My home. My school. My college. My friends. But there will always be this regret. A void. Between that friend of mine. Yes, I did make better friends along the way in university work etc... but how I wish I was just given a chance to explain and clear it up with her once, explaining it wasn't my fault etc etc before leaving ..

SO, not meaning to sound over-dramatic anymore, 😆 my question is ....

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?

Is it alright to forget friends ?

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Frequent Posters

413185

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

you poor thing! I went through the same thing! We fought and made up many times, but due to a terrible misunderstanding, we couldn't become friends again.. I'll write more via my answers to the following:

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?
Well, it should according to me, but the results depend on the strength of the friendship...

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?
as long as egos/bad memories/anger is dropped by both or if that action by one is able to melt the other one.

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?
I did it for 2 months.. waste of my life. How forgiving is your friend?

Is it alright to forget friends ?
Hey, if its unmendable and it hurts so much, its BEST to move on... I did and I feel wonderful... Give it a few attempts, but after a while , forget it.. you have family and other friends.

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Zaara

@Veer-Zaara

Inactive

Posted: 16 years ago

Oh... lemme ask u the first question .. Whr r u migrating?I know how it feels leaving everything n goin bak....
As for ur second question, is never too late to apologize to anyone.. 😊
Its the thought that counts.. i mean atleast u tried to contact her,patch things up with her ..atleast u tried doing that and dats great... maybe friends shud be givn another chance u know..well iv never gone thru dis sorta thng so i really dont know.. maybe it also depends on wot actually happens between the two friends n the seriousness of it..
Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ? well, i dont know if its jus in my nature or what,but i think if a friend is not interested to clear up things then u jus leave it at that... once it happened to me, jus a trivial matter btw me n ma frnd... she started overreactin for no reason n al..i i did my best to explain to her n all that but she wudnt listen.. she jus had to have her own way n blame thngs on me... n then i decided i jus leave it that way.. why bother when shez nt interested ?? dats wot i feel.. i mean v try to make things better n become frnds agen they jus dont care..that hurts rigght..
so dats wot i tink.. i jus leave them like dat ..i dont bother wit wat happens then:)
i hope my message helped!! n hope things go right for u!! Tc😳

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casper

@Roadrunnerz

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

friendship deserves another chance but if ur friend is unwilling to listen then respect her decision. She may relent later . If not then its time to move on. Life is too precious to hang on to the past.

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Sujal_Fan_No1

@Sujal_Fan_No1

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: glamritz
" Yuh i can understand, wat u going threw the same thing happend to me and one of my bestfriends, it was partly her fault and partly mine, we tried to talk it threw but both r childishness got in the way, and we havent talked since, because i had to go to another schl.I have this friend on facebook but we neva talk.

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

They should be because ur young and u dnt realise the mistake ur making

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

I dont think so, but like they say it takes two too tango.i

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?
I think its ok too let them no how u feel at least that way it is off ur chest, but if they dnt want to say anything back, then it is there problem at least u have told them how u feel.
Is it alright to forget friends ?
Well if ur rele, gd friends u will keep in contact with that person, sometimes u naturally forget or loose contact with someone.

Have u ever written a email to this friend telling her that ur leaving the country for good on facebook or something. Maybe that might help????

Edited by Sujal_Fan_No1 - 16 years ago

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*Shona*

@*Shona*

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: glamritz
Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?

Is it alright to forget friends ?

First of all, I have to say, I love the topic! Very interesting and I'm sure at least 90% of the members can relate to this in some way.

Friends/friendships should definately be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake. We all make mistakes ... and sometimes mistakes happen due to miscommunication, misunderstanding due to another person/group or immaturity/inability to understand the other person's feelings or actions. I think if the mistake was made once, it should be forgiven and forgotten and friends should move on. Nothing in life is so big to lose a great friendship over .... of course, if we are not willing to forgive and forget then obviously the matter at hand is more important to us than that friend ever was.

It's never to late to apologize and patch up ... and people might disagree with this but IMO, the longer you wait to patch up, the easier it is ... It just gives the other person time on their own to think things out .. you give each other space ... and when you grow up, you realize how stupid you were then and are willing to let things go because so much time has passed.

If someone else is not willing to talk out matters, I usually don't waste time with them. Making a mistake is one thing .. but denying it or not willing to discuss it is another mistake ...

I don't know if it's ok to forget friends ... but I've made a LOT of friends over the years ... and I can safely say that I haven't forgotten a single one ... whether we ended the friendship badly or just because of moving away from the city/country/school ... I always remember my friends and if I ever come across them through msn or facebook or even in-person I make it a point to say hello and ask how they are doing ... just for old times' sake ... I think we can do atleast that much ... I've shared some great times and some not so great times with all my friends and acknowledging them would be the least I could or they could do ...

I don't know if I made sense .. just got back from working almost 15 hours ... I'm half asleep 😳

Regards,
Jas

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Ritz

@glamritz

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

Thanks for the replies!

lol, I'll perhaps give it one last shot and send her an email. If it's meant to be - it will be. If not, it's better to move on.

Thanks guys :)

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413107

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: glamritz
"Once upon a time, we were friends"

Your story is very touching, thanks alot for sharing it with us. I know it feels really awkward when your best friends suddenly turn into strangers for you and despite wanting to move on in life and forget them, there would always be this hole in the heart which is difficult to fill. Sweet memories bringing tears to the eye, a pang of pain.

SO, not meaning to sound over-dramatic anymore, 😆 my question is ....

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

Every relation and not just friends deserves another chance. Mistakes are made by human and it also rectified by human. If a person is truely sorry then i dont see the reason why not? if a person wants to reform then they should be given a chance. However one should not keep giving chances over chances, once or twice is fine but if its anymore than that then obviously the person making the mistake is taking it for granted that their mistakes shallbe overlooked. There is no such thing as the perfect friends and no perfect relations, and its not a one way system either. Friendship is based on the foundation of trust and support, one should support the other during tough times, if one falls the other should help them to rise. N if one makes little mistakes here and there then the other should forgive them and get it rectified.

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

Its never too late to apologize, as long as the person is genuinely sorry. I dont think just saying the word ''sorry'' means anything, they should feel that they are sorry in order to patch up wtih them. You should always express your feelings to your friends and make sure the other understands it well.

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?

Well if a friend is not willing to listen then it perhaps shows that the friend is not willing to accept the friendship anymore. If you try your level best to explain things to them but they show ignorance then their is nothing much you can do eh? If you are trying to clear any misunderstanding and the drifts caused in the friendship however the friend is being like a wall to the barrier then their is no point is it? If you show to them that your are truly sorry then they shouldn't punish you like this, they should give you another chance to prove to them that your a good friend .

Is it alright to forget friends ?

Depends on how strong the friendship bond was, if the bond was strong then you cant forget them. You cant break ties that easily. Many friends come and go but some friends leave a permanent footprint behind and if they leave you the hole in the heart which always seems to crave for them. You may try to forget the friend but you can forget their memories that they have left behind.

Xoxo

Edited by Rage-Of-Angels - 16 years ago

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366774

Suspended

Posted: 16 years ago

Originally posted by: glamritz

Oh that's really sad😳

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?
yes,since I firmly belive if your friends are your true friends then they should be given another chance why not!
Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?
It's never late when it comes to friendship and if your friend is your sincere to you she/he will surely accept your opology.
Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?
Ummmmmmm.yes and no.lol im kinda confused on this one eventhough I personally think that we should clear up things to make our friends realize that it wasn't our fault and no because we too have self respect and if others don't seem interested then Who CARES ..lol
Is it alright to forget friends ?

LOL i make friends and forget them easily since my memory is pretty bad but forgetting in a sense that we were frends and due to few misunderstandings we forget eachother wont be fine😊

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Savie

@savie

Voyager

Posted: 16 years ago

#10

I am on verge of crying... it also happened to me in my workplace & i sttill miss her...

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?
yes, friends are forever....

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?
well its better late than never...

if we are not willing to say sorry or apologise..behave as nothing as happenend...raat gayi baat gayi

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?
yes it is necessary..otherwise wat's the difference between u & her...... plus we also respect her & want her to be happy

Is it alright to forget friends ?

we can never forget friends..especially lose frnds it depends how much u take that friendship & how much other person takes it...

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once upon a time, we WERE friends

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