Sexual infidelity is not infidelity-Kjo - Page 15

Amitabh is an extremely image conscious man. He has to maintain perfect traditional family man image.

He would no way leave Jaya officially or openly.

He was also told Rekha's horoscope is unlucky for him and was main reason for his downfall in 80s and 90s and that Jaya's horoscope saved his life from that accident.

Since then also he stays married to Jaya.

Jaya is just a convenience for him. Manage his home, take care of his parents, kids, relatives etc. No love it seems.

Originally posted by: atominis

I remember she was clicked with AB sr at a flight also many years ago and pic went viral as Rekha was looking out of the window to avoid being recognised.

Shameful if she is indeed obsessed with him.

I can totally understand why Jaya is as bitter and cranky as she is and spends more time with kids or grandkids compared to Amitabh.

And that can be the reason why rekha who has no family still is happy n cheerful n her face glows always n Jaya who has everything Still is bitter n cranky. As one must be happy from inside as her love is with her n other one is sad as she is pretending to outside world that everything is fine.

Originally posted by: naaznin

Few years after marriage boredom seeps in than there r fights too. When someone starts talking to an outsider in marriage that time looks beautiful as there is no Chik Chik of home duties n in laws interference just pure emotion with no responsibility n expectations n demand.. With husband it's opposite there is so much Chik chik.

Being married one should not indulge with outsiders or friends so much that they get romantic attachment.

If I'm wife n my husband gets such attachment with someone else I would be badly hurt n will lose trust in him n marriage would start looking meaningless from that point.

Ur friend first need to realise that such attachment is wrong n if she would be at her husband's place how she would have felt. Also she can realise that the person who she is attracted to wouldn't have been same if he would be her husband. Men can be very understanding n caring towards friend or girlfriend n may not have same attitude with wife.

But you cant just close yourself off to the outside world when you are in a relationship. You are bound to interact with people, at work and at parties.

She knoew this guy is not Mr perfect, in fact he is toxic and her husband is 100 times better than him. Still she got attracted to him.

Originally posted by: Clochette

Of course one can love more than one person...and being attracted to them - mentally, emotionally and physically.

One cannot decide for another person...in your friend's case, it is up to her (and the concerned others)...we cannot judge...

(just thinking of Minty and her lover who most probably doesn't live in an "open" marriage and is cheating with her on his wife and kids...maybe he genuinely loves her...and his wife, too...)

So how can other people decide whether it's cheating or not? Isn't it considered cheating when the person is at fault?

Originally posted by: infinity101

Umm when did I say that? Hanging out with female friends and developing feelings for them while being committed are two totally different things.

So how do you stop yourself from developing feelings with someone you hang out with? The heart doesnt have an on and off switch unfortunately, lol

Originally posted by: FireFli

The best theory.👍🏼

Thank u 4 your appreciation !! 😆

Originally posted by: la_Reine

So how do you stop yourself from developing feelings with someone you hang out with? The heart doesnt have an on and off switch unfortunately, lol

That's why I mentioned that one may get involved with someone one knew already before the person one married eventually... there can be situations in the marriage that makes it important to rekindle the contact...

as for cheating: imo, it's only up to the involved persons to judge if it is cheating: the husband/wife and the lover/mistress...

It could also be that a forced/arranged marriage goes wrong or is just a cover up for a not-accepted other sexual orientation...there a many reasons that could have led to looking for good feelings with another person than the married one...

...and then, there are the cases where no cheating at all happened but only rumours going around...and around...and around...

The first step for men to be able to solve this problem is ...

To admit that we have no control whatsoever over this 😃

Originally posted by: infinity101

Umm personally for me you can’t start developing feelings for someone unless you feel an emotional connect towards them or have been talking with them on a regular basis which involves getting a little too friendly with them, it’s morally wrong when you are already in a relationship with someone else, when you are taken there are certain boundaries that one should respect, say if I have someone in my life I obviously won’t get over friendly with other people, doesn’t mean that I should stop hanging out with my male friends but certain things are off limits because a relationship is based on trust and loyalty. First of all if you are in love with your partner a question of falling for someone else doesn’t even arise, and if you are developing feelings for someone behind your partner’s back that’s called “emotional infidelity” and any type of infidelity isn’t okay, it’s not really that hard to stay loyal and be in control of your feelings IMO. And if for some reason you are getting attracted to another person, the first thing to be done should be to be honest about it with your partner since they at least wouldn’t be kept in the dark, cheating starts exactly with “getting feelings for someone” while you are still committed IMO and they just don’t develop out of thin air, you gotta have been involved with them in some way since quite some time, even if not physically.

The line between fidelity and infidelity, emotionally, is very grey, blurry, and messy.

Most people don't start hanging out with other people with the intention to cross a line or connect inappropriately. It often starts with something innocuous and platonic that people don't even fathom can lead to something. It could be attending a conference with a coworker or having to work on a presentation together. It could be arranging play dates for your kids or always being the ones who volunteer to chaperone a school trip. And then all of a sudden one day something stirs inside and you don't even know when you started liking them more than a friend.

You could have a colleague or an acquaintance who always flirts with you and you do all you can to avoid them because you are so deeply committed to your partner - but every once in a while you cannot help but enjoy the attention because a part of you misses the courtship and spark of new relationships. And sometimes people themselves flirt, thinking nothing really will come from some harmless flirting, you feel in control of your emotions and all of a sudden it feels more than just harmless flirting.

Being in love with someone does not mean that you will never experience attraction or affection for anyone else. The human body has no control over when it delivers a hit of oxytocin. And once you get a hit of oxytocin you tend to crave more. It is completely normal for humans to crush on multiple people or blush at attention from other people.

A large number of people have self-restraint that even when they don't cross the lines of a committed relationship. But many people do not have self-restraint. In the past this meant secret and clandestine affairs behind the facade of monogamy. But nowadays people who don't have that restraint are being more self-aware and remaining single with no strings attached relationships or open marriages or polyamory with some sort.

Some people have very transparent and open relationships with significant others where they discuss and share every crush or flirtation they experience. But most relationships do not have that level of honesty. There are many reasons why people don't share immediately when they develop feelings for someone else - they still deeply care about their partner and don't want to do anything to jeopardize it, they assume its is just a crush that they will eventually get over, they are confused and don't know if they can make a choice if it comes to it, or they feel guilty about it and cannot come to terms with it.

And if people have self-restraint and eventually get over their feelings then no harm no foul. But if people feel they are irrevocably falling for someone else - then they should ideally tell their spouse sooner than later. But attraction and arousal can inhibit rational thinking. People start behaving like junkies - they think they can quit anytime and just need one more small dose before quitting - but the dose gets bigger and bigger and the high gets stronger and stronger till there is no going back.

---

Here's a random pondering - what are people's opinions on people finding platonic soulmates outside of marriage?