Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 1 | Thread 2 link posted on page 149 - Page 83

Another musing. I don’t fault people for not wanting kids for whatever reason. My fault with Arnav on this matter is he was unwilling to even discuss it with Khushi. But to save her marriage Khushi deemed Arnav more important than having a child. Now, the question; if Arnav is to have any redemption for his infidelity and very cruel treatment of Khushi at the end of the marriage (be it a one night stand or longer affair, be it purely a mistake for sexual comfort, or an affair with stronger emotions involved; vile in all cases) is Arnav willing to give Khushi children to keep her in his life?

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

Another musing. I don’t fault people for not wanting kids for whatever reason. My fault with Arnav on this matter is he was unwilling to even discuss it with Khushi. But to save her marriage Khushi deemed Arnav more important than having a child. Now, the question; if Arnav is to have any redemption for his infidelity and very cruel treatment of Khushi at the end of the marriage (be it a one night stand or longer affair, be it purely a mistake for sexual comfort, or an affair with stronger emotions involved; vile in all cases) is Arnav willing to give Khushi children to keep her in his life?

I just hope with Arnav or not she gets to have her own child but right now it seems like a far fetched dream.

If Khushi doesn’t want kids with Arnav, it has to be her choice. Who could blame her after his conduct. For many of us infidelity is unredeemable and would end a relationship. But marriages do survive it. I know of quite a few. And women do cheat too.

But, in Arnav’s case even if he willingly wants a child to keep Khushi, he most likely would prefer to remain childless just as Khushi would prefer to have a child. However, in love and marriages you compromise and do things for your partner’s happiness. And if done for that reason, you most probably will also be happy in the end. In a marriage both partners need to be happy and satisfied. But, at this juncture in the story, Arnav be damned. I want Khushi to have children, value herself and be happy. She needs to willingly make her own choices.

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

brilliantly and precisely written!!

Also this is the reason I believe puja’s point stands true - this is not a feel good story. Because there’s no end that’s justified. Khushi may have to drastically change her notions of love and move on with someone that she knows she will never love like Arnav. And what is the alternative? Now, can Khushi even love Arnav like she used to? I believe cracks like these stay forever in the marriage/relationship. And it is extremely hard (read near impossible) to make it work from there. Let’s see what these two do now. They haven’t had the most normal life in a sense.

Khushi will never be able to love Arnav like before. She realized the marriage works only when she adjusts, gives in to his wishes and choices, her self-respect, dignity always at stake and still major issues unresolved. Now with his cheating distrust, insecurity & low self esteem got added to the problems. He annihilated their marriage, period. Her unconditional love, devotion, years of efforts were not sufficient and he could easily ignore her & go to other woman is not going to ever go away how much they both try or he tries to give her that trust.. Imagine Khushi facing La and Manali in parties, it's a nightmare..

And he still does not want kids, he is not willing to adjust or compromise, so full of himself. Staying with him is only toxic and negative for her.

Khushi has shown resentment already and detached herself from him. She needs to go away at least for some time, find herself and be independent first.. Else she already hates to be back and she will hate him too.. If he is willing to wait for her unconditionally knowing she might not forgive and come back or look for companionship somewhere else is his choice, doesn't matter to her anymore. It's not always about him, he needs to understand that.

Life lessons for simple and pure people like Khushi can be dunting... Rihanna's song "Love the way you Lie" for me perfectly depicts Khushi's situation...

Starting a new life with a new man with clean slate might be easier for Khushi after the ultimate betrayal by Arnav.. Khushi is like unconditional stream of fresh water, gives her 200% in a relationship, is fiercely loyal and gorgeous. Even Arnav admitted it's impossible to not fall in love with her. So if her new life partner respects her wishes and they have babies, she will be happier than she will be with cheater Arnav. She deserves to get her every wish fulfilled.

Having a child in a marriage is more woman's decision than a man's. This will start a new debate all together but it's the woman who has to bare the child, go through body changes and life / death situation to bring a life into the world! She needs to make that choice first!

Swati, you have indeed started a new debate. I think women have the right to choose in respect to their own bodies. You of all people know what having a child could ultimately mean for your life. And those of us that have children know our bodies are never the same. And it doesn’t matter where in the world you live, child rearing duties fall mainly on a woman’s shoulders. Having children does impact a woman’s life more than men’s in so many ways. But, I don’t fully agree that it should be more a woman’s decision unless your partner gives you that right. But, man, your articulation of your points are so well stated.

I agree wholeheartedly about the other points you made in this post. Her love will never be the same if they stay together but marriages change and evolve in any case. And even if she never would have the all consuming love for a new partner that she had for Arnav, she might still be happier. Khushi is all the things you say and if she got a loving partner that valued her she would reciprocate 200%.

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Khushi will never be able to love Arnav like before. She realized the marriage works only when she adjusts, gives in to his wishes and choices, her self-respect, dignity always at stake and still major issues unresolved. Now with his cheating distrust, insecurity & low self esteem got added to the problems. He annihilated their marriage, period. Her unconditional love, devotion, years of efforts were not sufficient and he could easily ignore her & go to other woman is not going to ever go away how much they both try or he tries to give her that trust.. Imagine Khushi facing La and Manali in parties, it's a nightmare..

And he still does not want kids, he is not willing to adjust or compromise, so full of himself. Staying with him is only toxic and negative for her.

Khushi has shown resentment already and detached herself from him. She needs to go away at least for some time, find herself and be independent first.. Else she already hates to be back and she will hate him too.. If he is willing to wait for her unconditionally knowing she might not forgive and come back or look for companionship somewhere else is his choice, doesn't matter to her anymore. It's not always about him, he needs to understand that.

Life lessons for simple and pure people like Khushi can be dunting... Rihanna's song "Love the way you Lie" for me perfectly depicts Khushi's situation...

Starting a new life with a new man with clean slate might be easier for Khushi after the ultimate betrayal by Arnav.. Khushi is like unconditional stream of fresh water, gives her 200% in a relationship, is fiercely loyal and gorgeous. Even Arnav admitted it's impossible to not fall in love with her. So if her new life partner respects her wishes and they have babies, she will be happier than she will be with cheater Arnav. She deserves to get her every wish fulfilled.

Having a child in a marriage is more woman's decision than a man's. This will start a new debate all together but it's the woman who has to bare the child, go through body changes and life / death situation to bring a life into the world! She needs to make that choice first!

Thank you so much Swati ♥️♥️♥️Agree with most points. Marriages that do survive infidelity don’t go back to the original state. Ever. A little black shadow is always going to be there even if both partners move mountains for each other. It may take YEARS. Khushi facing la is indeed a nightmare. She would feel worthless in front of her if it’s her husband who got involved with another woman. As I said, no justified ending.

Although there are two points where my opinion differs.

One’s from the previous comment thread where you guys had a rather insightful discussion - regarding Arnav and Anamika relationship. I don’t believe the FF shows he dumped his decisions on her. In fact he was the one who didn’t want the relationship in the first place because of his share of responsibilities. Anamika broke through those defences and asked for this relationship. And that’s what I believe was wrong on her part. You don’t get to convince someone that their fears were baseless and you will stick through think and thin and then run away. When and where could he meet or the time they spent together had been directed by his circumstances, not him. And Anamika was aware of these challenges. I don’t think she is a villain though. She simply couldn’t take it when the going got tough. As a more independent woman, she chose to go away from a guy she couldn’t be with anymore. But Was that morally and emotionally wrong? Yes, I believe so.

But, as I said earlier, it’s fiction. And the best part is tha we get to choose our POVs 😊♥️

Second point being about the sole decision of a woman bringing in a child. I am a fierce believer of the fact that a woman should have full autonomy over her body, and if she doesn’t want to put herself through childbirth, she shouldn’t have to. A husband can’t force his wife to bear children if she doesn’t want them because her body needs to do the entire work.

But the opposite is also true. In a marriage, decision of bringing a kid needs to be mutual. A man can’t force a woman to bear a child, and a woman can’t force a man to accept a child he didn’t want in the first place and had been clear on his stance. Of course, opinions can differ and the woman may choose to walk out, but she can’t force him to accept a child imo.

And man, are the discussions turning out to be gold here in this thread.♥️♥️♥️ Please don’t take my refute in a negative way. I love the pov you presented. I just have a different take here. 😊

And do feel free to refute me too if you find faults in my arguments or logics. I am by no means an expert or authority on these matters. And I am always willing to learn. And your comments have always been rather eye opening and thought provoking! ♥️

Edit - also thanks for sharing the song. Love the way you lie would’ve been a fire background song for Arnav Khushi confrontation 😅😅😅

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

Thank you so much Swati ♥️♥️♥️Agree with most points. Marriages that do survive infidelity don’t go back to the original state. Ever. A little black shadow is always going to be there even if both partners move mountains for each other. It may take YEARS. Khushi facing la is indeed a nightmare. She would feel worthless in front of her if it’s her husband who got involved with another woman. As I said, no justified ending.

Although there are two points where my opinion differs.

One’s from the previous comment thread where you guys had a rather insightful discussion - regarding Arnav and Anamika relationship. I don’t believe the FF shows he dumped his decisions on her. In fact he was the one who didn’t want the relationship in the first place because of his share of responsibilities. Anamika broke through those defences and asked for this relationship. And that’s what I believe was wrong on her part. You don’t get to convince someone that their fears were baseless and you will stick through think and thin and then run away. When and where could he meet or the time they spent together had been directed by his circumstances, not him. And Anamika was aware of these challenges. I don’t think she is a villain though. She simply couldn’t take it when the going got tough. As a more independent woman, she chose to go away from a guy she couldn’t be with anymore. But Was that morally and emotionally wrong? Yes, I believe so.

But, as I said earlier, it’s fiction. And the best part is tha we get to choose our POVs 😊♥️

Second point being about the sole decision of a woman bringing in a child. I am a fierce believer of the fact that a woman should have full autonomy over her body, and if she doesn’t want to put herself through childbirth, she shouldn’t have to. A husband can’t force his wife to bear children if she doesn’t want them because her body needs to do the entire work.

But the opposite is also true. In a marriage, decision of bringing a kid needs to be mutual. A man can’t force a woman to bear a child, and a woman can’t force a man to accept a child he didn’t want in the first place and had been clear on his stance. Of course, opinions can differ and the woman may choose to walk out, but she can’t force him to accept a child imo.

And man, are the discussions turning out to be gold here in this thread.♥️♥️♥️ Please don’t take my refute in a negative way. I love the pov you presented. I just have a different take here. 😊

And do feel free to refute me too if you find faults in my arguments or logics. I am by no means an expert or authority on these matters. And I am always willing to learn. And your comments have always been rather eye opening and thought provoking! ♥️

Edit - also thanks for sharing the song. Love the way you lie would’ve been a fire background song for Arnav Khushi confrontation 😅😅😅

Perfect thoughts , I was thinking on the same line regarding Anamika!!! Also it takes two to create a child so both should have their say!!!

We all are angry with Arnav !!! There is no excuse for what he did to khushi. But I am curious to know , what brought the drastic change in Arnav!!! The 24 year old fully devoted his life for his family, burned his midnight oil, even got married and took responsibility of a girl because of his family. What made completely family man Arnav recluse ASR !!! What made him resent his family so much. He even resented khushi’s persuasion for his family.

My heart goes for khushi, the ppl she devoted all her life gave her wounds at the end. Be it her husband, parents or in-laws!!!!
I hope she comes out of it all and has a full happy life!!!

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

Thank you so much Swati ♥️♥️♥️Agree with most points. Marriages that do survive infidelity don’t go back to the original state. Ever. A little black shadow is always going to be there even if both partners move mountains for each other. It may take YEARS. Khushi facing la is indeed a nightmare. She would feel worthless in front of her if it’s her husband who got involved with another woman. As I said, no justified ending.

Although there are two points where my opinion differs.

One’s from the previous comment thread where you guys had a rather insightful discussion - regarding Arnav and Anamika relationship. I don’t believe the FF shows he dumped his decisions on her. In fact he was the one who didn’t want the relationship in the first place because of his share of responsibilities. Anamika broke through those defences and asked for this relationship. And that’s what I believe was wrong on her part. You don’t get to convince someone that their fears were baseless and you will stick through think and thin and then run away. When and where could he meet or the time they spent together had been directed by his circumstances, not him. And Anamika was aware of these challenges. I don’t think she is a villain though. She simply couldn’t take it when the going got tough. As a more independent woman, she chose to go away from a guy she couldn’t be with anymore. But Was that morally and emotionally wrong? Yes, I believe so.

But, as I said earlier, it’s fiction. And the best part is tha we get to choose our POVs 😊♥️

Second point being about the sole decision of a woman bringing in a child. I am a fierce believer of the fact that a woman should have full autonomy over her body, and if she doesn’t want to put herself through childbirth, she shouldn’t have to. A husband can’t force his wife to bear children if she doesn’t want them because her body needs to do the entire work.

But the opposite is also true. In a marriage, decision of bringing a kid needs to be mutual. A man can’t force a woman to bear a child, and a woman can’t force a man to accept a child he didn’t want in the first place and had been clear on his stance. Of course, opinions can differ and the woman may choose to walk out, but she can’t force him to accept a child imo.

And man, are the discussions turning out to be gold here in this thread.♥️♥️♥️ Please don’t take my refute in a negative way. I love the pov you presented. I just have a different take here. 😊

And do feel free to refute me too if you find faults in my arguments or logics. I am by no means an expert or authority on these matters. And I am always willing to learn. And your comments have always been rather eye opening and thought provoking! ♥️

Edit - also thanks for sharing the song. Love the way you lie would’ve been a fire background song for Arnav Khushi confrontation 😅😅😅

With Anamika, they just moved to big city, figuring things out and both were young. But I felt Arnav wanted her to adjust every time; there was no scope for small vacations, asking Akash to arrange stays for them to spend quality time etc. considerations. If Anamika could not cope with it, even Arnav did not offer her little things owing to expectations that she should adjust.. Basically they can't lead normal life until his family settles no matter how many years it takes. I understand his father's medical bills but his sister's loan, is the sister herself doing anything to pay off the loan? Why third person has to work hard, sacrifice for her loans? Anamika is more modern and could not adjust to these kind of demands and pressure, does not make her wrong, even Arnav needed to balance a little and make her feel worth it.. Remember Anamika was mad for Arnav choosing family and not renting house to live in together and how much Khushi was worried after making their first apartment livable because his mindset was that all the money should be for his family's well being, Khushi was able to adjust but Anamika could not.. Had it been Anamika or Khushi spending all the money only for their family asking Arnav to sacrifice basics and adjust, would Arnav do it? Hell no... As soon as he was not getting companionship from Khushi or he decided to desert her owing to baby pressure, did he compromise and wait until issues resolve mutually? He went to other woman recklessly replacing his wife of 10 years... So it's black and white for me, his relationships worked until women in his life compromised and adjusted...

I have no problem with any man or woman not wanting the kids.. But this was an arrange marriage, especially his parents expecting grandkids.. So that expectation was set right from the beginning and she must have wanted kids too and assumed he wants them too.. If he announced his choices in advance back then, both parents would not even have married them knowing their traditional background.. If you see their 10 years marriage, Khushi is a typical home maker and knowing her traditional value and culture, her desire for the baby should be common sense for Arnav, the astute businessman. He did not disclose his views or reasons properly, literally made her beg for babies. Khushi here definitely waited for years for him to change his mind, 10 years is along long time in Indian marriages to have babies and she still wanted to make it work by giving up on baby.. But he started avoiding his own family, expected her to not visit them to escape baby topic and running away to other woman for his needs. If Anamika was wrong, then Arnav is dastard too.. Arnav could have walked out too before cheating.. Arnav is clearly at fault here even though this is all fictional.. No doubt in my mind but yes other situations might be different...

The beauty of discussion here is our mutual respect for each other's thoughts... None of us are perfect or right all the time but different POVs make the reading worthwhile and educate us in the process..

-Swati

I think in Anamika’s case she threw his circumstances on his face and dumped him!!!! Broke his heart after promising him and knowing his circumstances.He still went after her swallowing his pride but she ghosted him…. He later moved on after a year thinking anamika didn’t want him.

While he definitely did break khushi’s heart and hurt her worst way possible!!!

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

With Anamika, they just moved to big city, figuring things out and both were young. But I felt Arnav wanted her to adjust every time; there was no scope for small vacations, asking Akash to arrange stays for them to spend quality time etc. considerations. If Anamika could not cope with it, even Arnav did not offer her little things owing to expectations that she should adjust.. Basically they can't lead normal life until his family settles no matter how many years it takes. I understand his father's medical bills but his sister's loan, is the sister herself doing anything to pay off the loan? Why third person has to work hard, sacrifice for her loans? Anamika is more modern and could not adjust to these kind of demands and pressure, does not make her wrong, even Arnav needed to balance a little and make her feel worth it.. Remember Anamika was mad for Arnav choosing family and not renting house to live in together and how much Khushi was worried after making their first apartment livable because his mindset was that all the money should be for his family's well being, Khushi was able to adjust but Anamika could not.. Had it been Anamika or Khushi spending all the money only for their family asking Arnav to sacrifice basics and adjust, would Arnav do it? Hell no... As soon as he was not getting companionship from Khushi or he decided to desert her owing to baby pressure, did he compromise and wait until issues resolve mutually? He went to other woman recklessly replacing his wife of 10 years... So it's black and white for me, his relationships worked until women in his life compromised and adjusted...

I have no problem with any man or woman not wanting the kids.. But this was an arrange marriage, especially his parents expecting grandkids.. So that expectation was set right from the beginning and she must have wanted kids too and assumed he wants them too.. If he announced his choices in advance back then, both parents would not even have married them knowing their traditional background.. If you see their 10 years marriage, Khushi is a typical home maker and knowing her traditional value and culture, her desire for the baby should be common sense for Arnav, the astute businessman. He did not disclose his views or reasons properly, literally made her beg for babies. Khushi here definitely waited for years for him to change his mind, 10 years is along long time in Indian marriages to have babies and she still wanted to make it work by giving up on baby.. But he started avoiding his own family, expected her to not visit them to escape baby topic and running away to other woman for his needs. If Anamika was wrong, then Arnav is dastard too.. Arnav could have walked out too before cheating.. Arnav is clearly at fault here even though this is all fictional.. No doubt in my mind but yes other situations might be different...

The beauty of discussion here is our mutual respect for each other's thoughts... None of us are perfect or right all the time but different POVs make the reading worthwhile and educate us in the process..

-Swati

This is a great point. We didn’t dive much in Arnav’s first relationship. I think what he offered Anamika was the exact thing that he offered Khushi; his time(that too, scarcely). He couldn’t afford the vacation or a better house with khushi too. The key here is he couldn’t afford it, not that he didn’t want it. And while khushi was immediately understanding of his financial situation, Anamika ultimately broke. I’m not saying it’s wrong. All I’m saying is that she was aware of the baggage Arnav came with and still pursued him and got him over his fear that he shouldn’t be with someone because he has responsibilities; which was Arnav’s initial thought. This, in my eyes was not the correct thing to do.

Plus, it states that Anjali never got good education so Arnav could study. The burden of finances was always going to lie with him. I don’t think Anjali could have done anything for the wedding loan if she wanted. Arnav’s family comes from the same place where a woman was still only supposed to get married. It isn’t fair for Anjali. It isn’t fair for Arnav too because he doesn’t have a life beyond these burdens.

Now the next question you asked is extremely important. Would Arnav ever choose his partners over the much needed money or his family? For now, I’d leave it to you guys.

Lastly, yes your point stands true. khushi is being asked to adjust on one of the biggest wishes of her life and it isn’t fair by any means. Arnav definitely could have done so many things differently. But he hasn’t. And in the process he has made a mess of things to the extent from where even Khushi doesn’t see any way back. Khushi does have a big heart, but it takes too much strength to forgive someone for this kind of hurt. Especially when prior to this, you were ready to let go of your biggest wish in the world to keep the said person in your life. Arnav has a lot to be punished for.