Resurgence | Arshi FF | Thread 1 | Thread 2 link posted on page 149 - Page 84

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

This is a great point. We didn’t dive much in Arnav’s first relationship. I think what he offered Anamika was the exact thing that he offered Khushi; his time(that too, scarcely). He couldn’t afford the vacation or a better house with khushi too. The key here is he couldn’t afford it, not that he didn’t want it. And while khushi was immediately understanding of his financial situation, Anamika ultimately broke. I’m not saying it’s wrong. All I’m saying is that she was aware of the baggage Arnav came with and still pursued him and got him over his fear that he shouldn’t be with someone because he has responsibilities; which was Arnav’s initial thought. This, in my eyes was not the correct thing to do.

Plus, it states that Anjali never got good education so Arnav could study. The burden of finances was always going to lie with him. I don’t think Anjali could have done anything for the wedding loan if she wanted. Arnav’s family comes from the same place where a woman was still only supposed to get married. It isn’t fair for Anjali. It isn’t fair for Arnav too because he doesn’t have a life beyond these burdens.

Now the next question you asked is extremely important. Would Arnav ever choose his partners over the much needed money or his family? For now, I’d leave it to you guys.

Lastly, yes your point stands true. khushi is being asked to adjust on one of the biggest wishes of her life and it isn’t fair by any means. Arnav definitely could have done so many things differently. But he hasn’t. And in the process he has made a mess of things to the extent from where even Khushi doesn’t see any way back. Khushi does have a big heart, but it takes too much strength to forgive someone for this kind of hurt. Especially when prior to this, you were ready to let go of your biggest wish in the world to keep the said person in your life. Arnav has a lot to be punished for.

I think the fact that khushi comes from the same background as arnav both financially and society wise where women are docile helped her a lot in adjusting to arnav's tight finances and make a home out of it.

I don't remember if there was references of anamika's background in the story but i believe it would be difficult for anyone to adjust to such tight finances if they themselves are not coming from that place & are not accustomed to it.

In arnav-anamika situation i think i blame none..both were right in their shoes. There were just 23 when they broke up, any one at this age will find it hard to do such financial & emotional adjustments. Arnav did because he had too. Anamika have seen much more than khushi, she must have seen other couples in her college, in bombay, so it was obvious for her to want all that for herself too.

And rest about khushi adjusting to this extent at 19..I believe she had no expectations, she had not seen any to expect in the first place, so it all came very naturally to her. Her definition of marriage, men were all that she saw in her village, and in men like shyam in lucknow and they didn't set the standards high at all so arnav doing very basic things for her became a huge deal to her..and she did everything that she could to return it in leaps and bounds.

I agree with swati that when you come from such traditional place, background having kids or your partner expecting it from you and wanting it is almost given...even arnav told akash before getting married that his mother thinks, she will not see her grandchild if she don't get him married now. I am almost sure that something drastic must have happened with anjali probably for arnav to detest his place and even grow distant from his parents, he told khushi (in the last chp) that they have gone through worse and came back and so they can do it now too, i mean what can be more worse than the current scenario....this can only mean that something huge has happened back home in the past.

Ps- Arpita can we expect an update tomorrow?🙏

Relationships are give and take but Arnav always took more, Anamika broke too quickly after promising to move mountains so she is definitely wrong but it's equally true, his less efforts in relationship caused constant bickering.. Situation could have been better if he chose live in and she sharing his rent, stress and life but Arnav denied her this opportunity!

Khushi was broken by him too the first time she insisted for her desire for babies. Also after Arnav told Khushi about Anamika, she learned from Anamika's mistakes to never hurt him but did Arnav learn from his own experience not to ghost Khushi in her own house or dump/divorce and hurt immensly? That's why I said if Anamika is wrong then Arnav is number a hole...

And Arnav here is conviniently king of duplicity! The story is of 2005 onwards and currently in 2016, he is super orthodox or traditional not to oppose dowry for his sister's marriage (maybe villages still follow, he was too young and it's ok) but expecting his gf or wife to sacrifice their desires for him to pay his loans is also wrong, it has to be balanced decision agreed by both. He managing finances his way is another sign of typical traditional behavior where as in modern world, couples take decisions together.. No wonder he is biilionare while she is still necessitous!

So if Khushi compromised & adjusted for years, he expects her to continue it giving up her biggest desire to have her own baby, couldn't he give in for one desire of his traditional wife, why? Had it been Arnav and his family wanting kids while Khushi was not ready, she still would have had kids by now, isn't it? We can't deny men & their familty have upper hand in domestic decisions, Arnav here was complete control freak.. Discussions like this are going to open can of worms!

Arpita, you have done a fab job in writing Arnav's and Khushi's character, he represents duplicity of the real world to the T while Khushi resprents how extremely nice but soft people are always expected to compromise and are hurt without any fault... Arpita, was this your intention to mimic the real world or I am reading too much between the lines???

Chlo chill marate hai yaar, this is getting way too serious, let's leave something to vent out after next chapters, haha...

Love definition of 2023 from Tu Jhoothi Main Makkaar - motivational song for Khushi ROFL - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yeRRm9AIxI

Yes, save Rihanna's song "Love the way you lie" for Arnav's confession to Khushi!

Originally posted by: Pujakrishna

I think the fact that khushi comes from the same background as arnav both financially and society wise where women are docile helped her a lot in adjusting to arnav's tight finances and make a home out of it.

I don't remember if there was references of anamika's background in the story but i believe it would be difficult for anyone to adjust to such tight finances if they themselves are not coming from that place & are not accustomed to it.

In arnav-anamika situation i think i blame none..both were right in their shoes. There were just 23 when they broke up, any one at this age will find it hard to do such financial & emotional adjustments. Arnav did because he had too. Anamika have seen much more than khushi, she must have seen other couples in her college, in bombay, so it was obvious for her to want all that for herself too.

And rest about khushi adjusting to this extent at 19..I believe she had no expectations, she had not seen any to expect in the first place, so it all came very naturally to her. Her definition of marriage, men were all that she saw in her village, and in men like shyam in lucknow and they didn't set the standards high at all so arnav doing very basic things for her became a huge deal to her..and she did everything that she could to return it in leaps and bounds.

I agree with swati that when you come from such traditional place, background having kids or your partner expecting it from you and wanting it is almost given...even arnav told akash before getting married that his mother thinks, she will not see her grandchild if she don't get him married now. I am almost sure that something drastic must have happened with anjali probably for arnav to detest his place and even grow distant from his parents, he told khushi (in the last chp) that they have gone through worse and came back and so they can do it now too, i mean what can be more worse than the current scenario....this can only mean that something huge has happened back home in the past.

Ps- Arpita can we expect an update tomorrow?🙏

And yeah, Arnav did tell her they overcame problems in the past too. Whether he’s right about those problems being as drastic as this one, is yet to be seen. And yeah, I’m planning the chapter to be up by tomorrow night :)

Originally posted by: SwatStar_Arshi

Relationships are give and take but Arnav always took more, Anamika broke too quickly after promising to move mountains so she is definitely wrong but it's equally true, his less efforts in relationship caused constant bickering.. Situation could have been better if he chose live in and she sharing his rent, stress and life but Arnav denied her this opportunity!

Khushi was broken by him too the first time she insisted for her desire for babies. Also after Arnav told Khushi about Anamika, she learned from Anamika's mistakes to never hurt him but did Arnav learn from his own experience not to ghost Khushi in her own house or dump/divorce and hurt immensly? That's why I said if Anamika is wrong then Arnav is number a hole...

And Arnav here is conviniently king of duplicity! The story is of 2005 onwards and currently in 2016, he is super orthodox or traditional not to oppose dowry for his sister's marriage (maybe villages still follow, he was too young and it's ok) but expecting his gf or wife to sacrifice their desires for him to pay his loans is also wrong, it has to be balanced decision agreed by both. He managing finances his way is another sign of typical traditional behavior where as in modern world, couples take decisions together.. No wonder he is biilionare while she is still necessitous!

So if Khushi compromised & adjusted for years, he expects her to continue it giving up her biggest desire to have her own baby, couldn't he give in for one desire of his traditional wife, why? Had it been Arnav and his family wanting kids while Khushi was not ready, she still would have had kids by now, isn't it? We can't deny men & their familty have upper hand in domestic decisions, Arnav here was complete control freak.. Discussions like this are going to open can of worms!

Arpita, you have done a fab job in writing Arnav's and Khushi's character, he represents duplicity of the real world to the T while Khushi resprents how extremely nice but soft people are always expected to compromise and are hurt without any fault... Arpita, was this your intention to mimic the real world or I am reading too much between the lines???

Chlo chill marate hai yaar, this is getting way too serious, let's leave something to vent out after next chapters, haha...

Love definition of 2023 from Tu Jhoothi Main Makkaar - motivational song for Khushi ROFL - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yeRRm9AIxI

Yes, save Rihanna's song "Love the way you lie" for Arnav's confession to Khushi!

Hahahaha… yeah I promise you guys will have a lot to rant about even in later chapters. 😅😅😅😅

Yes, Arnav and Khushi’s characters borrow a lot from the real world. Khushi embraces the boundaries their background puts on them (until now when she was sent back with Arnav without her wish) and Arnav, despite achieving this status is still struggling to break free. The pressure to have a child is originating from his family and it’s getting on his nerves. He is not as unaffected by it as he wanted.

Now coming to the 2005-06 Arnav who was much more sorted than whatever complex creature this ASR is. I think him not being a chauvinist is the main reason Khushi falls for him (as she states, but again, her expectations itself are very low).

You’re right. It’s indeed not fair for a third person to suffer with Arnav for his family’s financial situation, but the basic problem is again the same. Anamika knew all this before she persisted. It’s just that in college they spent a lot of time together and she ran away when Arnav REALLY resumed his responsibilities. (As he pointed out to her, that college wasn’t even the real struggle when they could spend time in the campus). Secondly, Anamika wanted him to move in to a better place for which he again couldn’t afford the rent after the medical bills and the loan. He hated the place he lived in as he said earlier and was even ashamed to bring Khushi there. But that was all he could do.

As much as Arnav’s character has messed up, he isn’t egoistic in the way that a male holds a superior position in the household.

About managing the finances. It was Khushi who he immediately gave the responsibility to. Even when they got rich, he had expected Khushi to step up and in the last chapter, Khushi says that she should have listened to him and focused on becoming her own person. They have had a flashback where Arnav is asking Khushi to be serious about the career prospect because she was letting go of her master’s degree for the NGO. I think Khushi’s mistake is being naive enough to think that Arnav is always going to be there and she didn’t need to fret about this stuff. Her mistake was to trust this Arnav who she thought would never hurt her. And it has clearly broke her in the process.

And I’ll again say, you ask a very interesting question. Arnav was taking care of Khushi as best as he can. But would he be willing to make sacrifices for her the way she was always willing to?

Originally posted by: VeiledWords

Hahahaha… yeah I promise you guys will have a lot to rant about even in later chapters. 😅😅😅😅

Yes, Arnav and Khushi’s characters borrow a lot from the real world. Khushi embraces the boundaries their background puts on them (until now when she was sent back with Arnav without her wish) and Arnav, despite achieving this status is still struggling to break free. The pressure to have a child is originating from his family and it’s getting on his nerves. He is not as unaffected by it as he wanted.

Now coming to the 2005-06 Arnav who was much more sorted than whatever complex creature this ASR is. I think him not being a chauvinist is the main reason Khushi falls for him (as she states, but again, her expectations itself are very low).

You’re right. It’s indeed not fair for a third person to suffer with Arnav for his family’s financial situation, but the basic problem is again the same. Anamika knew all this before she persisted. It’s just that in college they spent a lot of time together and she ran away when Arnav REALLY resumed his responsibilities. (As he pointed out to her, that college wasn’t even the real struggle when they could spend time in the campus). Secondly, Anamika wanted him to move in to a better place for which he again couldn’t afford the rent after the medical bills and the loan. He hated the place he lived in as he said earlier and was even ashamed to bring Khushi there. But that was all he could do.

As much as Arnav’s character has messed up, he isn’t egoistic in the way that a male holds a superior position in the household.

About managing the finances. It was Khushi who he immediately gave the responsibility to. Even when they got rich, he had expected Khushi to step up and in the last chapter, Khushi says that she should have listened to him and focused on becoming her own person. They have had a flashback where Arnav is asking Khushi to be serious about the career prospect because she was letting go of her master’s degree for the NGO. I think Khushi’s mistake is being naive enough to think that Arnav is always going to be there and she didn’t need to fret about this stuff. Her mistake was to trust this Arnav who she thought would never hurt her. And it has clearly broke her in the process.

And I’ll again say, you ask a very interesting question. Arnav was taking care of Khushi as best as he can. But would he be willing to make sacrifices for her the way she was always willing to?

Your words my thoughts!!!!

Anamika did good breaking the relationship she couldn’t cope up with. But she was crass while conducting it.

Arnav here is really wrong because he did adultry !!! It can be a person who is naïve ,very good, loves you a lot but you find it difficult to live with them because of your own preferences. Had Arnav perused an affair with lavanya after divorce, I would not fault him. But he did while being married to khushi is what, unforgivable!!!

Also since I have no work!!! And can neglect my AD !!!

The compromise we are ranting about, he did try. He did try to have a child for khushi’s happiness and to hold on to her. She was that important to him… but not everyone can make compromise and be excited about it!!!!

I don’t know what exactly happened for them to drift apart so much. But I strongly believe it’s takes two to make or break a genuine relationship. Arnav’s conduct has full potential to blow up anything good in their relationship. But I did find him a good considering husband back in 2006. Not everyone can afford holidays, and ppl do need to support their families. He always encouraged khushi to become her own person. Never complained about the way she ran the house. Appreciated and opened his heart for her. If khushi made compromises , so did he. He tried to help her with housework even after his own gruelling schedule, supported her when she wanted to start her own business using the emergency fund. Yes he didn’t have money or a lot of time to give her but tried his best. He was also pushed into the relationship with additional responsibility, never did he treat khushi badly because of it.

khushi still comes out to be a weak person to me . She left Arnav and first time chose her pride 👏but next moment she laid it down on her parents feet. She is no longer naïve 19 years old she is mature enough to do that. Honestly ,she had also made really poor choices and refused to be wise to face the world . That had created more trouble for her.
I sometimes think, would she have gone ahead and remarried , if the guy was NK instead of Shyam !!!!

Arilip, I agree it takes two to make and break a relationship. There were personality traits in both of them that made it work. Khushi was loving, optimistic, empathetic, trusting, compromising. Arnav was responsible, more enlightened about woman’s roles in society, protective, ambitious, hard working. But these same traits later drove them apart. Khushi trusted Arnav to do the right thing as a husband, comprised on her dreams and way of life, deferred to him and put herself second and tried to be empathetic to their family’s needs. Arnav worked hard neglecting Khishi and his family, his protectiveness was a form of control, his ambition led to egotism and feelings of righteousness, his enlightenment led to pulling away from Khushi and the domesticity of marriage.

I don’t agree with most of you about the working part. I think that feeds into the devaluing of a woman’s CHOICE to stay at home and care for a family. Khushi was educated. More so than most of the women even in the western world; certainly in India. Somewhere along the line she got her Bachelors. Of course, the more education the better. She did grow. It states how she gracefully fit into elite Bombay society and was much admired. She ran homes that Arnav was proud of. She was the wife of a rich man and ran in elite Mumbai society yet she founded and ran a successful NGO. I assume we’ll find out why she chose abandoned women and children. I have thoughts on that. I assume that she needed to understand the finances in running it, make business decisions that any CEO would have to make and understand the human suffering that she was trying to alleviate. What a resume! I think most rich people that start NGOs don’t take salaries from them. Arnav says himself that they would donate much more money than she would earn. I’m not sure how getting a paycheck would have fed into her self worth anymore than procuring funding for her projects. I am assuming that all of the money in running it didn’t come from Arnav. If that were so then by him wanting her to take a salary would be him paying her to run it. Controlling. Plus it certainly helped his image to have a beautiful, philanthropic wife.

Khushi is too beaten down by the heartbreak of Arnav’s infidelity and breakup of her marriage. Add to that her disillusionment of being able to fit back into her village and the expectations of remarriage that her parents put her through, have sunk Khushi to her lowest ebbs. Up is the only way to go.

In most circumstances, Khushi would have received a generous alimony that rich Arnav was willing to give her. Selling the penthouse alone would have given her a lot of money. We still don’t know what she asked for. She had no expectations anymore from Arnav. Her pride forbid her from taking what she saw as Arnav buying her off, devaluing her duties as a wife. She is strong at her core. She is so broken that she doesn’t realize that she has any worth outside of Arnav. The infidelity plus what happened in her village and the traditional patriarchal view that she has been brought up with feeds that thought. Now in cosmopolitan Mumbai her achievements will be more recognized. She has a chance to re-emerge and become a proud independent woman in charge of her life. The question is will Arnav be able to compromise on his beliefs, put his ego aside and be able to keep Khushi in his life when she also expects her needs to be met?

Originally posted by: BollyBabe75

Arilip, I agree it takes two to make and break a relationship. There were personality traits in both of them that made it work. Khushi was loving, optimistic, empathetic, trusting, compromising. Arnav was responsible, more enlightened about woman’s roles in society, protective, ambitious, hard working. But these same traits later drove them apart. Khushi trusted Arnav to do the right thing as a husband, comprised on her dreams and way of life, deferred to him and put herself second and tried to be empathetic to their family’s needs. Arnav worked hard neglecting Khishi and his family, his protectiveness was a form of control, his ambition led to egotism and feelings of righteousness, his enlightenment led to pulling away from Khushi and the domesticity of marriage.

I don’t agree with most of you about the working part. I think that feeds into the devaluing of a woman’s CHOICE to stay at home and care for a family. Khushi was educated. More so than most of the women even in the western world; certainly in India. Somewhere along the line she got her Bachelors. Of course, the more education the better. She did grow. It states how she gracefully fit into elite Bombay society and was much admired. She ran homes that Arnav was proud of. She was the wife of a rich man and ran in elite Mumbai society yet she founded and ran a successful NGO. I assume we’ll find out why she chose abandoned women and children. I have thoughts on that. I assume that she needed to understand the finances in running it, make business decisions that any CEO would have to make and understand the human suffering that she was trying to alleviate. What a resume! I think most rich people that start NGOs don’t take salaries from them. Arnav says himself that they would donate much more money than she would earn. I’m not sure how getting a paycheck would have fed into her self worth anymore than procuring funding for her project. I am assuming that all of the money in running it didn’t come from Arnav. If that were so then by him wanting her to take a salary would be him paying her to run it. Controlling. Plus it certainly helped his image to have a beautiful, philanthropic wife.

Khushi is too beaten down by the heartbreak of Arnav’s infidelity and breakup of her marriage. Add to that her disillusionment of being able to fit back into her village and the expectations of remarriage that her parents put her through have sunk Khushi to her lowest ebbs. Up is the only way to go.

In most circumstances, Khushi would have received a generous alimony that rich Arnav was willing to give her. Selling the penthouse alone would have given her a lot of money. We still don’t know what she asked for. She had no expectations anymore from Arnav. Her pride forbid her from taking what she saw as Arnav buying her off, devaluing her duties as a wife. She is strong at her core. She is so broken that she doesn’t realize that she has any worth outside of Arnav. The infidelity plus what happened in her village and the traditional patriarchal view that she has been brought up with feeds that thought. Now in cosmopolitan Mumbai her achievements will be more recognized. She has a chance to re-emerge and become a proud independent woman in charge of her life. The question is will Arnav be able to compromise on his beliefs, put his ego aside and be able to keep Khushi in his life when she also expects her needs to be met.

Hi, sorry I think I couldn’t express my thoughts properly…..

By making wrong choices I don’t mean being housewife!!! Hell I am the last person to do that!! I am a housewife 😊!!!
What I meant was that she accepted so much of degradation from her parents and society!!! I still find it hard to believe….. yes she was heartbroken!!! But giving into her parents again after living and growing in Mumbai as you said is really hard to believe!!!!

I accept that getting hurt by the person she thought her own, she went to seek comfort from her parents, but the way she let them throw her under the bus is still unacceptable for me…

Also maybe I am completely wrong, but I do believe that homemakers do contribute to the household. I don’t know why the world still sees it as husbands money and the wife has no rights!!! I understand pride but what’s the use of false pride …. Kick his ass and stop wasting your emotions on undeserving people!!! That is a part of growing up, be practical. Being too emotional leads to trouble always… maybe a good thing but it hurts!!! I had seen in my life if you don’t fight for yourself you will get hurt….

My heart goes for her she loved Arnav he betrayed her the worst way. She trusted her parents they threw her under bus. She worked so much at the cost of her marital issues, just to reunite Arnav with his parents but they didn’t even once look at her after the divorce ordeal…

Also the compromises we are talking about, can be norm for a person. If one person is earning and working really hard to make the ends meet, unfortunately they have to compromise more than the people who earn more. For khushi initial years of her life were happy !!! And Arnav was a good husband. I again reiterate he has done something really unacceptable but painting him complete ass from the beginning is wrong. I strongly believe there is more into the story then him simply getting up one day and giving up on their relationship!!!!

It bugs me too why did Arnav’s parents and his sister never tried to contact Khushi during this entire period.

There is too much which I am even sure Arnav is also not aware of, like why Khushi kept on going to Lucknow. It definitely had to be more than just bridging the gap between Lucknow and Mumbai. Even Arnav not wanting kids has something to do with what might have happened to Anjali. Though I agree he should have discussed about everything clearly with Khushi.

When everything will come out Arnav might blame himself more for not trusting Khushi.

These are just my thoughts let’s see what Arpita has in store for us.🤔

Why can’t tomorrow come sooner. 😒

Guys we discussed enough. As Aprita explained, their marriage was just fine for almost 9 years, credit to both with roles they played. Just disagreement over baby, non-communication, distances and the ultimate betrayal brought them here.. Arnav screwed up royally when Khushi was trying to mend the distances.

I have never written about Shyam character because Khushi even meeting him is a big mistake, but Arnav served Khushi double whammy, extra marrital affair and divorce which whole world knows before her. She went through sudden changes that too on her 10th wedding anniversary (all she was expecting from him was to wish her and give her a sign to fix their marriage), major heartbreak, humiliation and zero hope with he being moved on and applied for divorce. Khushi leaned on her loved ones, Buaji and her parents which is natural but she underestimated the other problems being in her village. La and Manali's games pushed her marriage on fast track but ultimately she did manage to reject Shyam on his face.. Everyone let her down, her husband, own family and in-laws too (They never called her or showed up when she was an hour away from them, unbelievable).

Arnav was a good, practical and demanding husband and Khushi was best wife for him during his strugle years but he behaved complete ass last few months and cheating was icing on the cake..

Any nicest person with no criminal record murdering someone is still a murder and unacceptable. He / She might get less punishment but a crime is a crime! Arnav washed all his good behavior down the drain by mishandling the baby pressure.. (Arilip we discussed this in length before with our guesses)

Maybe Arnav started liking new world while Khushi preferred domesticity, had he separated based on differences, then had affair, no one would care... Khushi also loved him enough to watch him succeed from a distance, her thoughts during one of her meetings with Shyam!

In my every note I have always said I want to know his thought process during affair, his reasons for not wanting a baby she was dying to have and his excuses for treating Khushi like trash in last few months.. Though nothing is acceptable, he gets a chance to explain himself!

Arpita - Waiting for the next chapter eagerly for our next crazy comments!