Originally posted by: Ambajee
Things AbiM should not have done(bold red) & things Akshu should have done(bold black) :
1. Get his emotional quotation get the better of him when dealing with a miscarriage and brother’s death.— Akshu should learn to read the mood of a room. Grieving in private is also a good thing here considering health. he asked Akshu to sit out the funeral to get some space. Space which is very very important when the whole family thinks she is a murderer. Space which everyone needs to grieve(doesn’t need rationale)
2. To not let his mother/gharwale dictate this aspect of his relationship with Akshu
3. Act on impulse to remove Akshu from his life at the first sign of trouble in his family. Start by considering her very much part of his family. — Akshu by learning to adapt to a new family without letting go of her core nature. Agar pregnancy mein khatron khiladi nahi kelni hai tho nahi kelni hai.
4. To assume he can do away with Abhir and not give a rat’s ass about Akshu. That’s not how it works bro! When his own mother has insecurities due to a past, be empathetic to understand how much Akshu has emotional baggage from her past and her own identity crisis (stepmom looks like her bio mom)
5. For not APOLOGIZING or ACKNOWLEDGING FOR BEING A BAD HUSBAND AND A BAD FRIEND TO AKSHU WHEN SHE NEEDED HIM THE MOST. AND THERE IS NO EASY REDEMPTION FOR THIS.
I agree for the most part. But I also get that a lot of the behaviour/decisions/choices taken by any character that day was during a very painful time, so emotional reactions are understandable. But what stands out are their beliefs, respect and values they have on which their emotional reaction are based on. For ex, Akshara may have forgiven and forgotten AbhiM and Manjari's behaviour on that day if it was anger and pain alone. But their lack of empathy, blaming, accusations, disrespect etc was not a spontaneous response to pain that came with a realisation and apologies in the days that followed. In contrast, when Abhir's illness came into light, Akshara and Abhinav both blamed each other and said hurtful things but they realised their mistake and apologised soon after. Because they respect each other as a person, consider each other as family, know both of them love and care for Abhir a lot and can understand that the other person is going through the same pain. But in AbhiM and Manjari's case, they never realised it. They continue to hold their pain higher, continue to make Akshara their scapegoat to this day. Even the countless missed calls, messages to hear her out fell on deaf years. If they held her as an equal person in their family and in realtionship, they would have shown higher level of concern and empathy than they did atleast in the days and months that followed.
That was a lengthy example lmaoo
6.Akshu should have informed about the baby’s birth to the family. Period. Through legal, maybe. Through phone to someone else, maybe. Through messenger pigeon, if only! But the lying about the child’s identity until the very last minute, to let the lie take a form of its own. Nah! That’s being selfish. House of cards banake, blaming hawa for destroying it..!
She is being selfish I agree. I didnt understand why she didnt take Gks help either but at this point from what I understand she subconsciously doesnt trust Gks, and believes herself to be a cause of things getting messier, misfortune etc As we see even when she outright says she will never come back to her maika after all the mess of Mimi's bday and Abhi's accident her family stands mute and when she came back for Abhir's surgery everyone's concern was Abhirohi's shaadi over her kid's life threatening condition🤪
I think her dialogue when she is adressing AbhiN's insecurities and behaviour(the scene before he asks her to hold her hand) was, everyone is against her in someway and she is trying to shut up and handle everything on her own but she cant and needs his support. This is when Gks are already on her side for custody. But emotionally they constantly take AbhiM's side.
And most of all once she realised AbhiM, Manjari etc dont care about her wellbeing or care to hear her out, and how easily they threw her out of her life, she feared her son being taken away too. I already talked more about her pov on her fear in my main post. Going back to UP was facing her fear which she was not ready until recently. And her fears have been proved right.
7. Akshu should have had a relationship with AbhiN first before handing over her child to him. To me, this is the most important mistake from her side. Woh ek stranger tha. Agar aapko kisi pe barosa karna hai, do it with ur life first before handing over ur child’s life. She couldn’t trust him enough to tell the truths, start a new chapter, forge a marriage, but decided to hand over her only child to him. That’s carelessness. Kal ko agar patha chala he has a bipolar disorder, and is abusive to children, kya karegi?? Acha hai, he is Acha admi. But that’s a blatant irresponsibility.
Only in ITV and the FLs meet Acha Admi's out of no where lmao. I get you. But from a story perspecive didnt she already trusted him with her life first? By the time she took her decision she lived with him, observed his behaviour, nature, his views etc. He was not a stranger(She probably knew him longer than she knew Abhimanyu when their marriage happened). She saw him take care of her when he had no obligation out of his sheer goodness and tendacy to help people. He said he likes to help because he never had help when he needed or wanted growing up. Having no one of his own and no ambition career wise, he finds his satisfaction in doing good acts(to the point of stupidity as Akshara to this day scolds him for). Then she saw him take care of her child when she couldn't, helped her to get to the hospital, prayed when he doesnt believe in god... All these things define a person. She saw and proposed a selfish offer and he selfishly took it.
8. If her relationship with AbhiN sounds peaceful only becos she gets to be a decision maker in the house, like jam business, homestay business, law ke exam ko beech mein chodna, she is better off being single. Partners sit and talk. Partners decide. And this is not only during a health crisis time. The house belongs to AbhiN as much as Akshu. She should consult him before letting it out for homestays.
I recently watched the mandir confrontation. When she compared AbhiN with AbhiM she took AbhiN's behaviour from when he found out AbhiM as example. She said she was worried that again someone will take decisions on her behalf for her life. But AbhiN talked to her, heard her out and trusted her, didnt judge her. He waits for her to listen what she has to say, listens to her completely, lets her think on her own pace and makes decisions with her. Not on her behalf or rule over her. This is what she means when she means freedom.
Freedom to be herself, no judgements, listen to her completely AKA know the full story and her pov, trust her, and they together decide things. If he disagrees heavily they will argue (like he convinced her for UP when he believed she was wrong and will regret) but on other occasions he supports her even if he disgrees. She does too, she supports his friendship with AbhiM for ex, though she doesnt like it. Cuz thats what supportive healthy realtions are. You disagree but you still support and there are each other na?
I don’t care for her move on period physically, becos that’s between a couple. But she is still stuck in time and looping in AbhiN with her confusion and ability to make a stable minded decision.
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
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