Chivalry is dead? - Page 6

Originally posted by: quiet_chaos

When I first dated my hubby, I paid for dinner. I'm Aquarius, and I think we have this thing where we rather die than be in "debt" for anyone. So we fight to death to pay for dinners and everything. So I paid in advance and said take the leftover as tip. Anxiety over this was real lol.

I’m an Aquarius too and I can relate to the fighting till death over the bill scenario. I even strategically plan a way to pay the bill in advance by pretending to go to the bathroom or lying to the restaurant and saying “it’s my friends birthday, please don’t let them pay.” I need to think of new methods since most of my friends know this trick and just volunteer to come to the bathroom with me. 😆

Anyway, it’s a matter of personal preference. I’m only attracted to men who are generous because I’m not tight-fisted myself and nor is my family. I’m used to being around people who fight for the bill, so if I’m not swinging my Asoka sword and battling him over the bill, then it’s a no from me.

Originally posted by: Talis

One should never choose an expensive restaurant unless you're ready and able to pay the full bill - especially on a first date. If he couldn't afford it he should have chosen differently or brought up going dutch before hand. If a long time friend did this I'd be annoyed. A first date has a much shorter leash.

Choosing the right restaurant can be extremely tricky, especially for a first date.

Fast food joints, certain chain restaurants, and hole-in-the-wall joints are considered tacky and inappropriate for a date. Nice date night restaurants vary wildly in how expensive they are. And it is hard to gauge people's perceptions. I often feel poor and flabbergasted at how expensive the tastes of some of my family members who have been in the States since the 40s and 50s. And consequently, even my tastes are too bougie and WASPY for many people.

Even while going Dutch many people tend to pick date-night restaurants a notch above their usual choice because they are afraid of being seen as cheap or poor. So much of dating is mindless peacocking.

Originally posted by: Ashley.Tisdale

Storytime:

There's this one guy I know, as old as me, and he messaged me asking if my parents and I were going to a party we were both invited to. I said yeah and he said he would come pick us. Sweet gesture, and he's an old family friend so it made sense.

Eventually we made it to the venue and I am wearing these super high heels. In Mumbai, everyone knows the road just outside a fancy place is always uneven. Cut that, roads everywhere in Mumbai are f**ked (thank you BMC). So I was sort of wobbling. My parents were walking ahead and my father was helping my mother.

This guy asks me if I am okay and before I can say anything, the mofo just walks ahead, leaving me behind 🤡 I stood there, mouth agape. The valet then offered me his arm and escorted me. Yes, older than me lol. The younger ones were laughing.

When I was a kid, my pastime was making women in high heels wobble. Even as an adult nothing has changed. You have no one but yourself to blame. 😆

Chivalry isnt dead, the right man will always do the right things for you...

What is creepy is when unknown strangers doing that... One time this has happened to me.. I dont appreciate such gestures...

Originally posted by: atominis

The man seems really insecure if he did not want to meet again just because you paid the bill.

Why should someone feel so insecure and shocked if woman pays the bill?

He didn't tell me the exact reason but his response was validating his own existence. Seemed more like a point proving exercise.

Have noticed most men like to pick a partner who they can educate, take responsibility for under their wing to feed their own male ego rather than level up or god forbid rely on their partner for a thing or two, intellectually. Or maybe I just pick lemons..

I promise I will open doors for you

I promise I will carry heavy objects

I promise I will pay for dinner

I promise I will hold your chappals

Ab toh maan jaao

Chivalry or no chivalry, it’s good to split the bills on first date rather than sending old bills to the partner after breakup. Yes, this has happened with one of my friends. her ex asked her to repay all the money he spent on her (and her parents ) when they were dating

Originally posted by: sunflower52

I will tell you why, this might pinch some because ultra modern feminism killed the gentlemen in men. They do not want men to open doors for them or even pay the bill, as they think can do it themselves. Now men are afraid of such women because if they do something or anything they will get in trouble.

The actual feminist wanted rights, their campaign/goal was never to compete with men unlike now. These feminist do not even spare other women who do want to do competition with men, like be a full time mom & house wife.

Add to that, modern day feminism tends to forget men and women are inherently different. A financial independent woman may love to be treated well or pamper the husband or cook for the family and that doesn’t take away from the fact that they’re just as strong a woman as the rest are.

Competing with men in the field of jobs and education and being like them are two different things.

Originally posted by: hasini009

Chivalry or no chivalry, it’s good to split the bills on first date rather than sending old bills to the partner after breakup. Yes, this has happened with one of my friends. her ex asked her to repay all the money he spent on her (and her parents ) when they were dating

Then he isn’t chivalrous/well-mannered, LMAO. No well-mannered person, man or woman, would behave this way.

Originally posted by: hasini009

Chivalry or no chivalry, it’s good to split the bills on first date rather than sending old bills to the partner after breakup. Yes, this has happened with one of my friends. her ex asked her to repay all the money he spent on her (and her parents ) when they were dating