A question to all Mothers..... - Page 4

The dynamics between husband-wife itself undergoes changes at various stages of life.

Growing up, the child is more important than them, individually and each other.

When they grow up and make a life of their own, they are the only ones for each other however much their other relations matter.

One does NOT want a Leela or Anupama.

Caring an ailing spouse would only strengthen and deepen the bond.

At that point of time, the parents take on support roles without stamping on the other.

Does NOT apply to Anupama or the Show. These belong to an alternate universe.

Originally posted by: CheekuKaBeej

I'm not a mother. So I'm not sure if I can give a general or subjective answer.

But talking about Anupamaa, this woman loves nobody but herself. She just wants to be relevant in everyone's life and this is how she chooses which side she's on.

True...

Like some people said that priorities change with time...in old age maybe the spouses become the first priority....I don't know if that will happen with me......we will see.....but I am understanding the different POVs...

Originally posted by: blue-ice.1

Why not Toshu's mother and spouse Kinjal?? what if Toshu didn't live with Vanraj??

and no....a sick child even if they are 50 year old takes priority over a picnic...especially when CA's real mother is there.

Finally a post I can relate to. Though I am not a regular watcher of this show but still I am shocked by how this serial is portraying Anuj to be on the right side by being angry or not being ok with Anupamaa taking care of her paralysed son. I mean whatever they are showing is definitely not a good advertisement for 2nd marriage in case people already have kids. I mean when people with kids get married isn’t it obvious that they will have two families? One with the current spouse and another with the kids they already have. Isn’t that something people accept when they get married a 2nd time or get married to people with kids? I mean yes in this case kids from first marriage are grown ups and adults but no matter how old kids become they are always family for parents. It’s normal human emotion. I am not able to understand how is it ok for Anuj or for that matter others to say things like her family with Anuj is more important or should get first priority and her other family as in kids from first marriage shouldn’t? How is that ok? Both families are equally important and now one of her kids is paralysed it’s not like he has fever or something so obviously any mother’s worry or attention towards a paralysed child will be more. It’s very normal. So I am not able to relate to Anuj’s behaviour or this serials attempt to show him right. At end of the day they are still showing the same thing that once a woman gets married her real family or family that should get more priority is the current husband’s . The other family either woman’s parents or in this case her kids from first marriage are second priority.

Originally posted by: Deviant_Pixel

Absolutely I Dont deny she is frustrating and her behavior when he was paralyzed was just horrendous , at the end of the day anuj married a woman tho who has faced years of systematic abuse and actually the reality is they got into a relationship too soon.

He was certainly not wrong in the start/past but now what he is doing is equally wrong and toxic. If he was flipping out his foster daughter might be taken awaay (correct that nervous breakdown almost) and his wife consoled him, then he can extend the same courtesy, wolf or not when her son is literally paralyzed.

Sadly the writers won’t focus on what they should , getting them divorced. He wants someone who will solely focus on him and his kid which she cannot as she has kids already. She needs to get over her abusers and learn to say no.

the pic is clear Anupama is too weak willed but in this case she ain’t wrong to go be with her son, my argument is if she genuinely told Anuj she wanted to be with her son for longer he would have an issue and that is not healthy IMO.

Originally posted by: Sutapasima

Why not postpone the fun picnic for the next day ?? If today is doc’s appointment ? Why not adjust to Anupama’s commitments too !

Anuj said in the episode .... Maaya will go to picnic wit CA .Anupama should go to doctor with her real child who is a sick 30 yrs old. Let’s see what Anupama does . Baa, Vanraj, Anuj will ask Anipama to go with Tos and this is heading for MaAn separation as Maaya exploits the situation to the hilt

Full on entertainment hai bhai

If they separate or not, at this point, I really don’t care, stop using Ca and Maya as pawn to keep them connected. Let both go and move on with their life.🤦🏻‍♀️

Originally posted by: Sabhayata

Finally a post I can relate to. Though I am not a regular watcher of this show but still I am shocked by how this serial is portraying Anuj to be on the right side by being angry or not being ok with Anupamaa taking care of her paralysed son. I mean whatever they are showing is definitely not a good advertisement for 2nd marriage in case people already have kids. I mean when people with kids get married isn’t it obvious that they will have two families? One with the current spouse and another with the kids they already have. Isn’t that something people accept when they get married a 2nd time or get married to people with kids? I mean yes in this case kids from first marriage are grown ups and adults but no matter how old kids become they are always family for parents. It’s normal human emotion. I am not able to understand how is it ok for Anuj or for that matter others to say things like her family with Anuj is more important or should get first priority and her other family as in kids from first marriage shouldn’t? How is that ok? Both families are equally important and now one of her kids is paralysed it’s not like he has fever or something so obviously any mother’s worry or attention towards a paralysed child will be more. It’s very normal. So I am not able to relate to Anuj’s behaviour or this serials attempt to show him right. At end of the day they are still showing the same thing that once a woman gets married her real family or family that should get more priority is the current husband’s . The other family either woman’s parents or in this case her kids from first marriage are second priority.

The problem is Anupamaa used to rush to Shah house for every little thing previously. In fact, when small choti child was adopted or earlier Anuj was paralysis she was busy celebrating with Shah family. Anuj asked her to make some boundaries, but she never obliged. Anupamaa said the words but no actions.

Anuj did not ask her to come back, infact encouraged her to stay with Toshu. Its Anupamaa's own insecurities now that Anuj feels less reliant on her to give choti Anu love, with her biological mother there she feels the need to be back at Kapadia house.

Plus, she has enough money to take care of Toshu without serving the whole Shah family.

That is why viewers have a problem. The show has over 800 episodes and its gone back to starting point, as Anupamaa being subservant. She had so many opportunities to make a life, but she is deeply flawed.

The first thing required is therapy and self care for Anupamaa.

At the end of the day this show has no realisim for second marriages. Unfortunately the producers and Rupali actress promotes this show as progressive at every chance, which is problematic.