Originally posted by: U_nicorn
Domestic abuse doesn't happen in one moment where they hit you and u walk out of the relationship....it starts with subtle ways where the abuser begins with saying manipulative and rude things and then apologizing saying it was 'out of love'.
Self confidence is then killed...the person is made to feel small, first in private and then in front of people (trust me one won't even understand this is happening to them until its too late).
Being in US or anywhere doesn't make a difference.
The educated ones have to deal more with the mental abuse cos there both are equally qualified, but despite that women will be put down in subtle ways. Women don't voice it for various reasons ( all justified cos to each their own)
I've had a friend who was victim of domestic abuse in the US and kept forgiving her husband cos 'he apologised', 'suddenly hit her cos of anger' 'didnt mean it' 'he wouldn't have done it if she didn't trigger him' 'u hit me back if u want to' ' u earned that beating' and so on...she kept blaming herself for his poor behaviour. It's more psychological and definitely not easy to identify it's happening to oneself till it's late.
People don't walk out because they are even more scared of the life ahead if this relationship breaks. They can't see a positive side ahead so they find positives in an abusive relationship and continue tolerating both physical and mental violence.
And no amount of 'duniya dekhna' prepares you for this. One has an image of one's life, ones partner and ones future...one won't sabotage it before giving it multiple attempts to work it out, especially women...we won't give up without trying everything.
I know women who know they should go to the police station, but don't do it cos they are worried about the consequences. Be it backlash from police , family, inlaws everyone they know...they don't want more problems.
Women need awareness, financial independence, strong family support, very high self respect and (constant) self confidence to confront mental and physical abusers and walk out of such relationships -be it marriage, live-in or any relationship. It definitely takes more than what we can imagine.
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