PriRa OS ~ Jaan

Jaan

“Helloooo, everybody!” Shivina Mehra's chirpy voice greeted the party that had gathered at her brother, Ram Kapoor’s residence. It was a small gathering of close friends, a private celebration on Shivina and Akshay’s first wedding anniversary.

“Oooh, the lovebirds are here,” Brinda, Ram’s friend, met them at the door, welcoming the couple as she hugged first Shivina and then her husband, Akshay. “Happy anniversary, you two! May you always be blooming with love.”

“Thank you, Bree,” Shivina replied, though her eyes settled on her husband, dazzling with adoration, as she reached out and intertwined her hand with his.

Akshay raised their entwined hands and brought them to his lips for a lingering kiss, while their gazes locked as if oblivious to their surroundings.

Vedika, who sat rapt, watching the whole episode unfold, felt a heaviness settle in her chest. She and Shivina were so much alike and yet they weren't, simply because Shivina had made the right decision that brought her the happiness she possessed today, and Vedika hadn’t.

Brinda cleared her throat, “We’re all here.”

Shivina blushed. Akshay laughed as he let go of his wife’s hand, “Where’s Priya di?”

“She's doing a final check on the refreshments and will be with us in a moment,” Brinda replied.

“Okay. I'll join the guys until then,” Akshay said and went to where the men were gathered.

Brinda and Shivina joined Vedika and Twinkle who sat on the plush sofas lining the central area in the living room.

“Hey, ladies! Vedika, great you could make it,” Shivina greeted them and then addressed Vedika as she took a seat opposite her. Shivina hadn't expected to see Vedika and her husband, Shashi, at this private event today as she was afraid it would be an awkward encounter, one which could quickly spiral out of hand. Shivina was engaged to marry Shashi’s younger brother, Sid, until she’d gathered the courage to call off the wedding and confess her love for Akshay to her brother. Things had been slightly strained between Shashi and Ram post that, and even though they were also business associates, Vedika and Shashi had skipped not only Shivina’s wedding but also Ram's wedding.

“I couldn't say no to Ram,” Vedika replied.

Ram and Vedika had dated for a few years until she had moved on to marry their mutual friend and Ram’s business associate, Shashi Dixit. Though she had chosen to break up with Ram and marry Shashi, Ram had been the perfect gentleman and accepted her reasons for doing so without any fuss. He had, infact, gone on to stay friends with her.

“Priya bhabhi!” Shivina squealed, jumping up as Priya approached them.

“Happy anniversary, Shivi,” Priya greeted Shivina, enveloping her in a warm hug.

“Thank you! Where’s Ram bhai, though? Please don't tell me he's still at work,” Shivina's eyes widened in disbelief.

“Of course...” Priya replied teasing her, then added, “...not,” at her horrified expression.

“Bhabhiii!”

“He got back 10 minutes ago and is in his room, freshening up. He’ll come down soon,” Priya assured her.

“Meanwhile, why don't you sit and tell us the secret of this glow radiating off your face?” Brinda dragged Shivina to sit beside her on the couch.

“It's nothing,” Shivina shrugged, though the pink hue that stained her cheeks belied her words.

“Oh, yeah,” Brinda mocked.

“It’s love. Love is the secret,” Vedika responded. “People who have love marriages are truly blessed.”

“I agree, wholeheartedly!” Shivina declared as she picked up an appetizer from the platters laid on the table before her.

“Yes, but people who have love marriages are not the only ones who're blessed,” Brinda replied, not convinced with Vedika’s line of thinking. “More than how you married, it's who you married that will determine the future of your relationship.”

“Maybe. But what’s the point of marriage if there’s no love?” Vedika argued. A second later, she cringed inwardly as she realised that this could be construed as a personal barb at Priya whose marriage to Ram had been more of a contractual arrangement.

“What’s the point of love if there’s no understanding and respect?” Priya pointed out.

Priya’s response was swift, without any hint of vengeance, but Vedika doubted Priya realized how painfully accurate it was when it came to Shashi and her relationship. Though Shashi never hesitated to profess his love for her, his respect for her felt superficial at best.

“Oooh, things are heating up,” Shivina muttered.

“I agree with Priya. If there's respect and understanding, it could eventually even lead to love. But love doesn’t necessarily assure understanding and respect,” Brinda reasoned.

Brinda’s words conjured an image so startling that Vedika actually felt the urge to shake her head furiously to get rid of it. She balled her hand into a fist instead, the nails biting into her skin to prevent her from reacting in a way where she would end up making a mockery of her self. Instead, she channeled her restlessness and dread into words.

“So, for example, we all know that Ram and Priya’s marriage happened for all other reasons but love. And Ram was very clear that he would never fall in love with another because he still loved his ex-girlfriend. Then, are you telling me that just because Priya understands Ram and he respects her, he'll also fall in love with her? Even though he's been in love with his ex-girlfriend forever? Has he, Priya?”

If Vedika had thought she would be able to rile Priya enough and provoke a response, she was sorely mistaken, because Priya calmly replied, “It’s okay, Vedika. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. My relationship with Mr. Kapoor is ours to deal with. It isn’t up for public deliberation.”

“I just – ” Vedika began but was cut short by Shivina's words. “Ugh, enough with this boring conversation, guys. This feels like a debate club instead of my anniversary party.”

“Bhabhi, I need to show you something,” she motioned Priya to take the seat beside her on the couch. “I wanted to get a thank you gift for bhai, do you think he'll like it?”

Shivina pulled out a sleek, premium-looking cardboard case from her handbag and handed it to Priya. Priya untied the ribbon and slid it open to reveal a satin necktie. It was deep black with lines and stripes in neon and Kelly green creating a bold look. “Given that bhai loves that pop of color in his outfits, I thought he may like it.”

“He'll love it, Shivi,” Priya said, delicately closing the case and retying the ribbon over it.

Vedika had never known Priya to be a people-pleaser so she failed to understand what was Priya trying to do with her comment because she was clearly off the mark. Ram hated neckties. “Are you sure, Priya? Because Ram abhors neckties. He’d even mock Shashi everytime he chose to wear one as the very idea of neckties made him feel choked.”

All Priya said in response was, “Yes.”

“Likes and dislikes can also change after marriage,” Brinda added.

“Yeah, maybe bhai finds them comforting now,” Shivina winked.

Priya rolled her eyes at Shivina’s tone and expression. “Stop being a drama queen, Shivi.”

“Alright, but you better go check why bhai–,” Shivina's sentence was interrupted by Ram’s voice.

“Jaan, I need you to come here for a moment.”

Vedika’s heart skipped a beat. Ram stood on the first floor landing overlooking the living room with a necktie in each hand and a confused expression on his face.

Ram's use of this endearment, and the way it rolled off his tongue, had always warmed Vedika’s heart. But today, she felt cold dread settle in her heart at what she saw following Ram’s words. Priya excused herself and got off the couch, her face impassive as always, yet, the tell-tale signs of a faint blush lingered. He couldn’t have meant Priya when he called out. Ram had always used the endearment for Brinda whom he considered a sister. He had never even used it for Vedika when they had dated.

“Brinda, didn’t Ram just call you?” she queried.

Brinda grinned, “Tsk.”

“But didn’t Ram always – ”

“Vedika, some things are best left in the past. Let’s enjoy the present,” Brinda replied.

“Bree’s right,” Shivina chimed in. “Vikrant and Kunal have planned some games. Let’s get started while we wait for Ram bhai and Priya bhabhi to join us.”

As cheers, teasing and laughter from the group filled the living room, all Vedika felt was a restlessness that refused to subside. It couldn't be... could it? Had Ram and Priya’s relationship truly moved beyond platonic to something real? Though Ram had promised to always love her, Vedika knew that he’d eventually move on, when he found someone who mattered to him more than her. Because people did move on, always. There were very few like her who were stuck between two men not knowing where is it that she really wanted to be or who did she want. Marrying Shashi had been a practical decision for Vedika. Shashi had given her everything that she'd ever need in life, and he didn’t seem to care about her past with Ram, but they hadn’t been able to move beyond it. There was love, of sorts; there was intimacy, but there was also an element of self-centeredness which led to a lack of a deeper, more genuine affection in their relationship.

But had Ram and Priya found that genuine warmth and deep affection for each other within a year of being together that Shashi and her hadn’t found in a decade of being married? She realised she was desperate to know. Excusing herself from the group on the pretext of needing to use the washroom, Vedika found herself on the first floor, just outside Ram and Priya’s room. The door was slightly ajar. She sneaked behind it, succumbing to the temptation to peep in. The sight that greeted her made her heart sink and her blood run cold.

Ram and Priya stood facing each other, barely a foot apart, with Priya helping fix Ram's necktie. Vedika’s gaze landed on Ram’s hands as they playfully slid along Priya’s waist, pulling her nearer to close the remaining distance between them.

“What's going on, Mr.Kapoor?” Vedika heard Priya ask.

“Just enjoying my wife’s company, Mrs. Kapoor,” Ram replied, one hand curled around his wife’s waist while the other went up to her face to push a few dangling tresses behind her ear.

“We have a room full of people waiting for us downstairs and all you can think of is flirting at this moment,” Priya chided, though her voice was devoid of censure.

“You know I can’t wear a tie by myself,” she heard Ram say.

“Then you could have skipped it,” Priya replied, fastening the last knots on the necktie.

“Well, maybe I didn’t want to. May be...” Ram’s voice dropped to a whisper making it impossible for Vedika to hear what he was saying.

“Mr. Kapoor!” Priya playfully swatted Ram’s arm.

“Yes, Mrs. Kapoor,” Ram laughed.

“We’re done, let's go,” Priya turned suddenly, heading towards the door.

Vedika almost jumped back to avoid being caught.

“We’re not done, yet,” she heard Ram say.

Vedika was no voyeur and she knew she should leave if she wanted to avoid the humiliation of being caught, but she stayed put, unable to move. She sneaked a look again.

Ram held Priya’s hand and pulled her back. He slid a velvet case from his inner coat pocket and opened it for Priya to see. It looked like a jewelery case to Vedika. Ram picked a delicate looking diamond choker from the case and asked Priya to turn around. He pushed her hair across a shoulder and slid the choker around her neck, clasping it in place.

“This is beautiful, Ram. Thank you,” Vedika heard Priya say.

“Thank you, Priya,” Ram replied, his voice full of gratitude. “Thank you for being you. If it weren't for you, Shivi and Akki wouldn't have been together today. And I would have also been lost in my lonely existence. Thank you for being the partner I didn't know I needed.”

Ram leaned and kissed Priya’s temple.

“And thank you for reinstating my belief in love and marriage, Ram,” Priya responded circling her arms around him in an embrace.

Vedika had seen enough. She stealthily stepped back and headed downstairs to join the others. The games continued amongst Ram’s friends, but Vedika just picked up a drink and took to the couch again. From the exchange she had witnessed between Ram and Priya, she wondered how her life would have been if she hadn't walked away from Ram all those years ago. Vedika, Ram and Shashi had met during University. Ram always had a soft spot for Vedika but had never voiced it. After post-graduation, he had started working in his father’s firm and then asked her out. They went around together for five years and Ram also gradually started growing in his father’s firm. Then, just when he was going to propose marriage, Ram’s father passed away in an accident and the business started falling apart, for a number of reasons. Ram got busy gathering the pieces and putting them together but Vedika’s parents wanted to get her married. Between the settled Shashi and struggling Ram, the choice had been obvious. Love doesn't provide for luxuries, her father had said, and Vedika had made her decision.

Breaking up with Ram hadn’t been difficult. Though not completely true, this was what her parents wanted, she’d told him. And being the considerate gentleman that he was, he'd understood. His parting words had been that he'd always love her because he didn't think his heart had room for another. And Ram had kept his promise – for ten long years. In these ten years, he’d met plenty of ladies, from heiresses to supermodels, but none had managed to sneak into his heart and life. Vedika knew that eventually someone would succeed. But she hadn’t imagined it to be Priya. She hadn’t expected the cold and curt Priya to be the one who filled Ram’s life with warmth, or who provided him with that comfort, or the one who he’d share that camaraderie with.

As Vedika saw Ram and Priya descend the stairs, hand in hand, their faces glowing with love and radiating pride, she had to grudingly admit that the reason Ram and her had never had what Ram had with Priya was Vedika herself. Because she had never truly opened up to him the way he had. Ram had bared his heart and soul for her, but she had never been able to do it. She had always been the reserved one, the aloof one, even when they had been alone. While Priya, despite the walls around her heart, had let Ram in. He had managed to scale the walls of her insecurities, her indifference, her grief and loneliness. There were very few who were bestowed with a second chance at love in life. Ram and Priya had not only found that chance but also struck gold, while Vedika would always regret not being bold like Shivina and choosing love above all else.

-fin-

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