I put my hands to my face. I felt frustrated. I didn't even know what she disliked about me so much that she deserted me for good. I missed her already.
I could easily remember the first day we'd met; it was as clear as a film. I was at a hotel. We both had checked in at the same time. She was a bit breathless but very composed. She wrote her name in the register, Aamna. It suited her just fine.
Her hair was as dark as the night and she walked with the grace of a cat. The mere sight of her made me gasp. She looked stunning. When she turned around, she gave me a megawatt smile. It really lit up the whole hotel.
From then on, there was no looking back. We met everyday and very soon we were so deeply in love that we decided to get married. I guess it was a little too soon.
After the first few blissful months of our marriage, we got into our first fight. I'd already noticed a change in her. She seemed distant. She started staying out late and on returning didn't bother with an explanation. She was least interested in household chores and didn't love me the way she used to.
When i realized her lack of interest in things, I got tired of waiting for her and cleaned up the whole place. On returning, she showed no sign of surprise on seeing the immaculate house. To me she looked absolutely emotionless.
Aamna stopped caring for her looks and didn't look after her health. She developed dark circles under her eyes. Her once beautiful shiny hair became withered., limp and ugly. Noticing her in such a hopeless condition, I took her to the hospital, I couldn't believe what the doctors said.
She was a drug addict.
I was so shocked; I thought I would pass out. The walls of the room were closing in on me. I had to get out. I hated her for ruining her life as well as mine. After going home. I knew I couldn't leave her. I loved her too much.
In the hospital, I saw her motionless. I shook her, I yelled at her but she didn't come back. I cried by her bedside for a long time, but she lay there still with a serene look on her face.
Even today, thinking about her gives me a bittersweet pain. I loved her and she not only wrecked her life, but my life as well. It is so long after her but she left me in such a way, that everything I do reminds me of her last scared look.
Every night she haunts me in my dreams. Even though we only lived together for a few months, it was a bitter - sweet experience I would relive if given the chance to. And just for that I'll never forgive her.