A Bitter Sweet Experience - Short Story

Sara_DONT_ASK thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#1
I couldn't believe it. She'd left me. And thinking back on our moments together, I felt a pain in my heart. I'd truly loved her.

I put my hands to my face. I felt frustrated. I didn't even know what she disliked about me so much that she deserted me for good. I missed her already.

I could easily remember the first day we'd met; it was as clear as a film. I was at a hotel. We both had checked in at the same time. She was a bit breathless but very composed. She wrote her name in the register, Aamna. It suited her just fine.

Her hair was as dark as the night and she walked with the grace of a cat. The mere sight of her made me gasp. She looked stunning. When she turned around, she gave me a megawatt smile. It really lit up the whole hotel.

From then on, there was no looking back. We met everyday and very soon we were so deeply in love that we decided to get married. I guess it was a little too soon.

After the first few blissful months of our marriage, we got into our first fight. I'd already noticed a change in her. She seemed distant. She started staying out late and on returning didn't bother with an explanation. She was least interested in household chores and didn't love me the way she used to.

When i realized her lack of interest in things, I got tired of waiting for her and cleaned up the whole place. On returning, she showed no sign of surprise on seeing the immaculate house. To me she looked absolutely emotionless.

Aamna stopped caring for her looks and didn't look after her health. She developed dark circles under her eyes. Her once beautiful shiny hair became withered., limp and ugly. Noticing her in such a hopeless condition, I took her to the hospital, I couldn't believe what the doctors said.

She was a drug addict.

I was so shocked; I thought I would pass out. The walls of the room were closing in on me. I had to get out. I hated her for ruining her life as well as mine. After going home. I knew I couldn't leave her. I loved her too much.

In the hospital, I saw her motionless. I shook her, I yelled at her but she didn't come back. I cried by her bedside for a long time, but she lay there still with a serene look on her face.

Even today, thinking about her gives me a bittersweet pain. I loved her and she not only wrecked her life, but my life as well. It is so long after her but she left me in such a way, that everything I do reminds me of her last scared look.

Every night she haunts me in my dreams. Even though we only lived together for a few months, it was a bitter - sweet experience I would relive if given the chance to. And just for that I'll never forgive her.
Edited by Saara COMB - 17 years ago

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ammmu thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#2
Ohhhhh what a sad story yaar! But beautifully written, and teaches a lesson too... very well written and good emotional appeal too, I dont want to cry 😔 😳
6219 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#3
Good one Saara, very touching! Very touching yaar! 😳 😳 😳
neha_bbsr2005 thumbnail
19th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#4
Its really a sad story 😭 ..But whose story is it??
The narration is superb 👏
Through ur writing we could feel how was the person's condition..
Princess thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#5
Wow, what a nice story. Very interesting too.
Naughty_n_nice thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#6

👏 That was beautifully written Saaru!!! 🤗

I loved the style you used, and also the way you didn't reveal the fact that it was death that had separate the author and Aamna, as at first it seemed like she had left him, like a break-up or a divorce. And i also liked the way the author didn't say he was upset and heart broken, but instead went midway through, upset, yet unwilling to forgive, or forget...

VERY NICE!!! You should definitely write more!!

-Sam
Monu-SunNaa thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#7

Donny, you've brought out the emotions so well, 👏👏👏 and the desciption of Aamna, the reader can visualise her. Btw, is this the first time at a short tale, very good attempt :)

rashi85 thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#8
saara that was soo touching...very well written 👏 😳

tat guy must soo totally broken 😭
Bhaskar.T thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
#9
Very very well written Beta!!! 👏 👏 👏

But you know what. Tumhare aise post achchhe nahi lagte hai. 😊 Woh Don style hi best hai. Make this as your first and last such post!!!! 😊

Rasny thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
#10
Gud one.... 👏 👏 .but 1 doubt. y did u choose name aamna? 😆 😆 ..don't teaze BIG B 😆 😆
Edited by Rasny - 17 years ago

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