A Bitter Sweet Experience - Short Story - Page 2

AMAZING story Donny! 👏 This story s full of emotions! 👏 Very well written!! 👏

As BB said..make sure this is ur first and last post..We love ur Donny style..Its the best 😃 😛 😳

Saaru this was amazing....beautifully written and conceptualised.(hope d spellin is fine)
And just as much as i love my donny...
saara side of it is sooo sweet and caring and deep..n this story brought dat out..
d hug is for my saaru
this is for donny

wow donny....tum aisa bhi likh sakti ho?? 😆 ...acha sach bolo....u only have written this na? 😉 lol jus kiddin...
it was heart touching...very very very emotional....greatt descaription of the entire scene...in short loved it totally 👏

Originally posted by: Naughty_n_nice

👏 That was beautifully written Saaru!!! 🤗

I loved the style you used, and also the way you didn't reveal the fact that it was death that had separate the author and Aamna, as at first it seemed like she had left him, like a break-up or a divorce. And i also liked the way the author didn't say he was upset and heart broken, but instead went midway through, upset, yet unwilling to forgive, or forget...

VERY NICE!!! You should definitely write more!!

-Sam

yaar you stole the words right off my mouth thats what I wanted to say to😃😆

yeah saara its really nice I really liked it, it was like I was reading one of my novels😃👏

its very interesting has so much deep structure in it😭😳

Very well written story 👏 👏 👏

wow!! 👏 👏 ..very touching story and very well written...Now we have budding writers too in IF ...way to go.... 😃

Originally posted by: rock&roll

wow!! 👏 👏 ..very touching story and very well written...Now we have budding writers too in IF ...way to go.... 😃

when u'll write some stories😛??

wow saaru i never knew u were such great writer, this is awesome i was hooked instantly, first i thought the girl left him or something not death.

Girl you have a way with words 👏 👏

Miz Comb, you should write more of THIS stuff instead of your bomb-don stuff. Seriously.

You have a clear-cut talent that you could develop. Whether you do it or not remains up to you.

Two things:

1)
"Her hair was as dark as the night and she walked with the grace of a cat. The mere sight of her made me gasp. She looked stunning. When she turned around, she gave me a megawatt smile. It really lit up the whole hotel."

Bolded parts = phrases that have been overused by many authors. So much that they become cliches. If you change them/come up with something fresh, this story would be fantastic.


2)
You say her last look is "serene" and then you say in the very next line that the narrator could not forget her "scared" look - a bit contradictory.

Originally posted by: living.doll

😛 😛 😛
panchivi fail donny u write so well!!!!
😆 😆

🤣

U always crack me up with ur witty comments Mumu ji...😆😆

Thank you everyone for the comments and for liking it...jitne needed thee usse ziyada hi comments got...😆😆
And yes...thank you for taking out time and reading a sadddiee story..!!!😛