Feeling very disheartened for Pallavi, DT Note pge 23 - Page 5

Originally posted by: MHRW99

@bold

Yes May be .. now that he knows M is torturing her physically he will act now .. and I’m sure he will ..

Coming to Pallavi talking about Mandaar and Swapnil to Raghav was before the creepy scene .. so obviously when she told cook is worse than Mandar was different.. P never expected M will stoop down so much ..

so here there is no point blaming anyone just the circumstances … which will be addressed by P and R now more aggressively because they know how much M can stoop now .

p.s

People might say she reacted to Swapnil in kitchen scene but not to M

Let me tell you it’s easy to go against people u don’t know rather than people who u know ( there are so many things attached to it )

Agree 👍

B- yes the cook is an unknown man trying to be friendly with her , and well Mandar is Mandar and she never thought he can do that, she was shell- shocked hence couldn't react after saying no consistently..

Originally posted by: Lonelythots

I respectfully disagree that since pallavi is such a strong woman so she she can tackle a personal violation of her space argument.. however strong a woman is, Incidents or situations like these, every woman reacts differently even if faced with the same situation twice.. that moment.. when the mind freezes in fear.. its such an unprepared moment that u cannot school yourself.. esp when one is not expecting..

When raghav pinned her on a lonely deserted road to the pole, even then pallavi closed her eyes in fear and didnt react.. raghav couldve done anything there, the emphasis being on couldve.. Ofcourse he didnt,thats another thing.. and before people come at me saying am comparing raghav to mandaar.. no i am not.. i believe raghav in that scene intended to just scare her away and he didnt intend to do anything untoward to her atleast in that sense.. but for pallavi the character, she didnt know.. her fear was just as real as it was today..

I had edited my post bc I had realized I was ranting, but I should still address this. To be clear I'm not saying because she's a strong woman she can tackle any personal violation. I agree that every woman reacts differently and being paralyzed with fear is a real response. I've been in .. a similar situation, I should say, and I did nothing to stop it. So I get it 100%. At the same time maybe seeing that triggered me personally bc I just wanted her to do something for her own sake, just like I wish I had.

My initial point was about an overused narrative in shows/books/etc., that strong women don't need help and therefore in order to show the ML be her savior, the CVs must make her not strong. And maybe my use of the word 'strong' was wrong here. Really any woman. I don't mean to classify one over another. They did this to 1) show Raghav how bad M really is and 2) so R can be her savior.

I'm not saying she couldn't be paralyzed with fear. I just wish I saw more of an initial/immediate struggle. This isn't me pinning the blame on Pallavi. None of this is her fault. My rant earlier was more of how I thought the CVs should have written/shown the scene.

There's this underlying tone I get from a lot of these episodes where Pallavi is in shock and she needs someone to come save her - Raghav, Aayi, etc. And I think I was just triggered bc this incident once again reinforced that narrative that to be saved or helped by someone, the woman has to be shown as helpless herself. My frustration wasn't because I think she can't be in shock or that she can't need help. It's because I get tired of writers of shows showing women always needing people to come to their rescue. Why can't they show her fighting and still getting rescued? Why does it have to be one or the other with these writers?

I also remember that road incident with Raghav. The Pallavi I know now, is much more fierce than that Pallavi. She's grown into a no-nonsense woman. I don't think today she'd take that - look how she dealt with Swapnil. But as others have said it is a different situation when we compare a stranger/outsider to someone of your own family.

Originally posted by: Isamreen

What Pallavi has to go through today was disheartening to say the least..

Mandar the creepy psycho... He crossed all the limits today..

Isn't it an occasion to feel victorious, after all she deserves this for not listening to Raghav

After all it's the karma hitting her back... ( This is sarcasm)

Blaming and Shaming her for not reacting or slapping mandar

Bashing her coz she didn't recognise Raghav..

And she needed to say THANK YOU to Raghav or shall I say SWAPNIL for saving her 👏ofcourse no courtesy pall how can you be so disrespectful..

I am really disheartened for the amount of victim blaming and Shaming going on here...

She was frozen to her wits, seeing his psycho behaviour..

Like us all she was shocked, she never thought that Mandar can stoop so low..

If you really see her face it will give you goosebumps..

It's not like she was standing and letting it happen..

She was LOOKING at him, looking at his creepiness in full front..

Looking at him looking at her scandalizingly..

So many emotions, she felt scared, angry, repulsive, helpless..

I am sure if not CV has to make to make a point of what length Mandar can go to Raghavi she would have reacted, she was processing...

It was to be shown to Raghav how biggest a creep can be Mandar and he needs to gather his wits and stop playing silly games..

It was to show to Pallavi to be careful around him, to what extent Mandar can go to harass her...

Coming here all I see is bashing pall even for this,

Cut her some slack pls, try to be more neutral in your views..

Remove that hatred glasses for her and see, it's not that difficult..

I decided to not come in MF and involve in anything going on, coz I don't have time and energy to simply argue with ppl who are not ready to listen..

But this thing got me highly upset..

She was frozen out of her wits. No one deserves such treatment yaar.

She s helpless coz she needs proof. It's not like she s enjoying it. 😢😢😢😰😰

Poor girl😒😒😒

Originally posted by: Isamreen

Han khusi toh bahut hui hogi, after all we are proved right,

Jashn nahi manayenge kya ? Are Jashn hi toh ho raha hai.. .. .

As an admirer of Raghav Rao and Sai Ketan Rao I would like to say this they need to stop this, stop their biasness for Raghav...

They are making him a villain by always cribbing about him

Pls stop 🙏

Now why blame him log bhi nah ..

Thank you Samreen for making this post.

I am completely numb after watching the episode.

And literally shaking

Because I have had the unfortunate circumstance of knowing someone who went through harassment irl

And it’s no joke

It’s a scar for life

Pallavi, the way she froze out of fear is completely real and I would be surprised if tomorrow she is up and running like nothing happened

People saying that she deserve this, really need to introspect their thoughts and NO ONE be it a man or a woman deserves to be disrespected in any manner by anyone because no one holds that right

I really want Pallavi to break Mandar’s hand one day that touched her

Just because of this thinking there are numerous people out there who don’t fight back or do anything because they are blamed and unfortunately they start blaming themselves for being at fault, when it is never the victim who is at fault

It’s time that men are taught to be ‘gopi bahus’ because crying doesn’t mean one is weak

It’s rather a strength to show one’s emotions

And probably that’s why women are said to be emotionally strong even though physically weak

Originally posted by: Lonelythots

I respectfully disagree that since pallavi is such a strong woman so she she can tackle a personal violation of her space argument.. however strong a woman is, Incidents or situations like these, every woman reacts differently even if faced with the same situation twice.. that moment.. when the mind freezes in fear.. its such an unprepared moment that u cannot school yourself.. esp when one is not expecting..

When raghav pinned her on a lonely deserted road to the pole, even then pallavi closed her eyes in fear and didnt react.. raghav couldve done anything there, the emphasis being on couldve.. Ofcourse he didnt,thats another thing.. and before people come at me saying am comparing raghav to mandaar.. no i am not.. i believe raghav in that scene intended to just scare her away and he didnt intend to do anything untoward to her atleast in that sense.. but for pallavi the character, she didnt know.. her fear was just as real as it was today..

I agree with your reasoning and glad you brought out the comparison to Raghav pining her on the pole in the initial episodes.

What P felt in both situations was exactly the same. She was afraid of her safety and nothing anyone says can justify this.

Though the pleats and being frozen were contrived plot points, I still say that Pallavi was not at fault. It was M who violated her personal space when she clearly didn't consent to it.

Also, kudos to you pointing out that not all situations are the same and not everyone reacts the same. Heck even the same person can react differently in the same situation so again Pallavi is not at fault for freezing. She didn't expect Mandar to be so creepy (this was her worst experience with him to date considering she didnt know she was drugged by him before) plus she was already under lot of mental stress and fearful of M's unpredictable ways.

PS: I'm glad that R didnt do any harm to P and his intentions weren't wrong but what the victim feels at that point should matter and not only the intent of the harasser (this is as per the sexual harassment laws).

Originally posted by: fria319

I had edited my post bc I had realized I was ranting, but I should still address this. To be clear I'm not saying because she's a strong woman she can tackle any personal violation. I agree that every woman reacts differently and being paralyzed with fear is a real response. I've been in .. a similar situation, I should say, and I did nothing to stop it. So I get it 100%. At the same time maybe seeing that triggered me personally bc I just wanted her to do something for her own sake, just like I wish I had.

My initial point was about an overused narrative in shows/books/etc., that strong women don't need help and therefore in order to show the ML be her savior, the CVs must make her not strong. And maybe my use of the word 'strong' was wrong here. Really any woman. I don't mean to classify one over another. They did this to 1) show Raghav how bad M really is and 2) so R can be her savior.

I'm not saying she couldn't be paralyzed with fear. I just wish I saw more of an initial/immediate struggle. This isn't me pinning the blame on Pallavi. None of this is her fault. My rant earlier was more of how I thought the CVs should have written/shown the scene.

There's this underlying tone I get from a lot of these episodes where Pallavi is in shock and she needs someone to come save her - Raghav, Aayi, etc. And I think I was just triggered bc this incident once again reinforced that narrative that to be saved or helped by someone, the woman has to be shown as helpless herself. My frustration wasn't because I think she can't be in shock or that she can't need help. It's because I get tired of writers of shows showing women always needing people to come to their rescue. Why can't they show her fighting and still getting rescued? Why does it have to be one or the other with these writers?

I also remember that road incident with Raghav. The Pallavi I know now, is much more fierce than that Pallavi. She's grown into a no-nonsense woman. I don't think today she'd take that - look how she dealt with Swapnil. But as others have said it is a different situation when we compare a stranger/outsider to someone of your own family.

Hmm well if your issues are with the constant portrayal of women as princesses who need a saviour in the form of a knight in shining armour I agree with you. I just saw other posts where people were arguing that Pallavi is usually so strong so if she froze now it means she is to be blamed. I'm glad you do not blame her.

A character which was looking after her in laws alone, was shocked and frozen in pole scene in start in front of stranger but then started replying back as she got out of it. Stood up to literally don of the city and keep on giving reply back to him in all cases is now a person who behaved like most unaware person to her husband, ignored in laws for 'family' and her ex and literally behaved like nobody's business. After this she got to know her ex tried to kill his mother, she was told by ex himself that he killed her best friend because she knew he was psycho. She saw him sending everyone out and asked her for massage and she didnt knew he can stoop to this level. Is this her first day with him without any history.

It really cool to say victim blaming is being done and support her. No. Just because other person is creep doesn't justify u being absolved of all the blame. No one is saying M is the saint but what u thought a person will be like when he can try killing his mother for a girl. So it was shocking and u froze because u didn't expected don't cut it. What was expected then? World is full of creeps and people react to suddenness of events in different way. Some froze, some lash out. But if this was 'sudden' then I m not sure if he would have mailed or posted a letter before doing this. Story has been dumb for a while now. And it is stooping to new lows everyday.

And people are judged on the actions or lack of and not thoughts. Thinking to kill someone doesn't land u in jail. Killing someone do.

Originally posted by: lateuser1234

A character which was looking after her in laws alone, was shocked and frozen in pole scene in start in front of stranger but then started replying back as she got out of it. Stood up to literally don of the city and keep on giving reply back to him in all cases is now a person who behaved like most unaware person to her husband, ignored in laws for 'family' and her ex and literally behaved like nobody's business. After this she got to know her ex tried to kill his mother, she was told by ex himself that he killed her best friend because she knew he was psycho. She saw him sending everyone out and asked her for massage and she didnt knew he can stoop to this level. Is this her first day with him without any history.

It really cool to say victim blaming is being done and support her. No. Just because other person is creep doesn't justify u being absolved of all the blame. No one is saying M is the saint but what u thought a person will be like when he can try killing his mother for a girl. So it was shocking and u froze because u didn't expected don't cut it. What was expected then? World is full of creeps and people react to suddenness of events in different way. Some froze, some lash out. But if this was 'sudden' then I m not sure if he would have mailed or posted a letter before doing this. Story has been dumb for a while now. And it is stooping to new lows everyday.

And people are judged on the actions or lack of and not thoughts. Thinking to kill someone doesn't land u in jail. Killing someone do.

It is victim blaming. Her being stupid(you could even argue very stupid) and usually strong doesn't mean that calling her out for being harassed is justified and not victim blaming

I agree she was stupid. But does that mean one must blame her for what happened? I have said this already that one could argue that a woman going out at night, getting drunk, wearing short clothes can be perceived as stupid but does that mean that they are to be blamed? If you think that they are then I doubt there's much that could change. But if you think that it isn't their fault then do continue reading. Even if she knew he was a creep and changing outside was stupid it doesn't justify her being harassed. Her being strong in other incidents doesn't mean that she had to be strong here too. She is human. Just because she couldn't react, doesn't mean she wanted it. Blame the story and CVs all you want. Not Pallavi today.

Originally posted by: hapc

Hmm well if your issues are with the constant portrayal of women as princesses who need a saviour in the form of a knight in shining armour I agree with you. I just saw other posts where people were arguing that Pallavi is usually so strong so if she froze now it means she is to be blamed. I'm glad you do not blame her.

No, I never blamed her. Do I wish the CVs showed other things? Yeah, who wouldn't want to see her fight back? Pretty sure that's a natural instinct to have when we see people struggling against an abuser. But that doesn't mean I didn't understand why she was paralyzed with fear and that doesn't mean I blame her. She didn't ask for any of this and how these people are connecting one with the other boggles my mind.