So I managed to come across some beautiful posts through quoting that I would have missed as I would have failed to do HW!
You guys are some strong women and loved reading each of your stories. It goes onto show that irrespective of where we stay, nosy relatives issue is omnipresent.
I get asked about my marriage all the time as I approach 30, and nonstop comments (especially from relatives in India and those here from older generation subtly sliding it in) on how I should learn to compromise/settle, the clock's ticking, etc. Lately, I have gotten to the stage where I openly tell them that if I want to have kids, I don't need to be married, and I am a perfectly happy being single. And on topic of what the society says, I have told these nosy people indirectly that society doesn't pay for my bills, I do. So I do as I please, and this society has no say in how I should lead my life. Thankfully, it has minimized those questions coming directly at me (and goes to my mom) and has kept my parents at bay from bringing it up to me. And I am very fortunate to have a dad who cares rats ass about what the society thinks.
On topic of fertility, I never understood the society's obsession with another women's reproductive system. It doesn't matter if it's Indian or American. My friends from both sets of cultures face this issue. You'd think that being a woman, one woman would understand another woman's pain and understand her stand point. What's the point of constantly asking someone of the "good news". If a woman wanted to have a kid, she would have. It's her choice. If she wanted it and she doesn't have it, there are constraints. There's no need for anyone to prod in whatever those constraints maybe. It could be physical, it could be emotional, or it could be financial. If the said person hasn't opened up that conversation with you, be respectful of her choice and her right to keep her personal matters personal. The bottom line of this is that it's her matter, not yours. So keep your nose out of it. ("You" being generic) And I just can't understand what part of this do people not understand?!
And the sad part is these nosy relatives don't get a hint. Hint of people subtly telling them to stay away, hint of following others who mind their own business, and (non) hint, but direct messagmind minding their own business when it comes to fertility.
More strength and power to you guys for dealing it with the way you have!
Edited by Mountains_Lakes - 4 years ago