Do We Feel Sorry For Anupama?

This one is pretty self explanatory:

CVs would definitely choose the first option looks like, and they seem to want/expect all of us viewers to choose the same...

Despite all the previous promises of showing progressive content, the makers seem to strongly subscribe to the line of thinking that women who suffer silently and kill their self respect (even in the presence of other options) are strong and great...

And we must all surely feel sorry for Anupama, and women like her, unless we are as irredeemably immoral as Vanraj or Kavya...

Those who have read my recent posts would know which option I would choose...

Because I struggle so much to sympathise with people who make bad choices despite having many other viable options, let alone see them as “strong” or “great” as CVs want us to.

And anyway our society has done enough of promoting women who silently suffer injustice and abuse at the hands of their husband/in laws as some kind of great pillars of virtue, which they aren’t. They are either people we should be feeling sorry for (if they have no other options) or disapproving of (if they do) in my opinion.

And anyway most of such women end up becoming perpetrators rather than just victims somewhere along the line...

Most of us believe our choices are at least marginally better/smarter/more moral than others in a situation, and such “great” women are obviously no different...

They will often advice, coerce and in extreme cases even force other, often younger women in their families to do the same, and either implicitly or explicitly shame and condemn women who choose to actually deal with their problems rather than ignore them or pray them away.

Although, even most of these great/mahaan types would never divorce their husband and then live with him and his girlfriend, not would they ask any woman to do the same... but looks like our Anupama is truly “Anupama” (i.e. unique)...

Anyway I feel most on this forum are actually somewhere in the middle of these two choices, partly feeling sorry for Anupama due to her misfortune, but partly not because of the sheer ridiculousness of some of her recent choices especially...

But if you had to choose one option, which would it be?

No sympathy for Anupama, she is all talk but very little action. Her decisions are like a yo yo, kabhi idhar kabhi udhar. She aggressively asked for divorce only to allow her sautan live under the same roof as her. There was absolutely no justification what so ever. She is bullying people that really care, like samar and kinjal, but her mouth freezes when she should really stand up to baa and vanraj. There was absolutely no justification for the drama with samar on shivaratri. The drama should have happened with vanraj on him insulting samar and nandini. She should have been the one to remind him that it was her house and that he was insulting her guest. She should be scolding toshu and not kinjal. She is a bail buddhi in my opinion and deserves all the problems she is facing because most are created by her

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

This one is pretty self explanatory:

CVs would definitely choose the first option looks like, and they seem to want/expect all of us viewers to choose the same...

Despite all the previous promises of showing progressive content, the makers seem to strongly subscribe to the line of thinking that women who suffer silently and kill their self respect (even in the presence of other options) are strong and great...

And we must all surely feel sorry for Anupama, and women like her, unless we are as irredeemably immoral as Vanraj or Kavya...

Those who have read my recent posts would know which option I would choose...

Because I struggle so much to sympathise with people who make bad choices despite having many other viable options, let alone see them as “strong” or “great” as CVs want us to.

And anyway our society has done enough of promoting women who silently suffer injustice and abuse at the hands of their husband/in laws as some kind of great pillars of virtue, which they aren’t. They are either people we should be feeling sorry for (if they have no other options) or disapproving of (if they do) in my opinion.

And anyway most of such women end up becoming perpetrators rather than just victims somewhere along the line...

Most of us believe our choices are at least marginally better/smarter/more moral than others in a situation, and such “great” women are obviously no different...

They will often advice, coerce and in extreme cases even coerce other, often younger women in their families to do the same, and either implicitly or explicitly shame and condemn women who choose to actually deal with their problems rather than ignore them or pray them away.

Although, even most of these great/mahaan types would never divorce their husband and then live with him and his girlfriend, not would they ask any woman to do the same... but looks like our Anupama is truly “Anupama” (i.e. unique)...

Anyway I feel most on this forum are actually somewhere in the middle of these two choices, partly feeling sorry for Anupama due to her misfortune, but partly not because of the sheer ridiculousness of some of her recent choices especially...

But if you had to choose one option, which would it be?

I wish you had put third option - Somewhat. I do feel sorry for what she went thru. in last 25 years. It took her husband's affair for her to open her mouth and fight back. After that she became stronger and stronger until recently.

What she's doing now is totally wrong. She should have thrown both kavya and Vanra out of their house. millions of people live on streets. They can do as well. She should not give crap what Ba is thinking. Her dignity, self respect, children safety, and bapuji and mamaji come first. Baki sab bhad main jaaye.

Originally posted by: suresh555

No sympathy for Anupama, she is all talk but very little action. Her decisions are like a yo yo, kabhi idhar kabhi udhar. She aggressively asked for divorce only to allow her sautan live under the same roof as her. There was absolutely no justification what so ever. She is bullying people that really care, like samar and kinjal, but her mouth freezes when she should really stand up to baa and vanraj. There was absolutely no justification for the drama with samar on shivaratri. The drama should have happened with vanraj on him insulting samar and nandini. She should have been the one to remind him that it was her house and that he was insulting her guest. She should be scolding toshu and not kinjal. She is a bail buddhi in my opinion and deserves all the problems she is facing because most are created by her

Bringing Kavya in to her house and whole shivratri drama was too much. No saint woman would do that. Kinjal and Samar never deserved whole bhashan from her. Creatives are taking her character backwards.

Originally posted by: Anjalika01

They will often advice, coerce and in extreme cases even coerce other, often younger women in their families to do the same, and either implicitly or explicitly shame and condemn women who choose to actually deal with their problems rather than ignore them or pray them away.

Thank you ❤️ for saying this you have no idea how much I wanted to hear this today

I have been shamed quite often in the Extended fam for being extremely ambitious.

Having a late marriage

For walking out of a toxic abusive relationship and having the guts to speak publicly about it.

The reason I so so is to give hope that yes u can survive any thing as long as u have courage

I was not invited for functions and was for a short time isolated. But I must admit I was lucky my older bro and Bhabhi stood by me and at one such instance in his function when someone said anything ..he did tell them quite loudly do u feed her , do u clothe her no right she does so herself ..she has some dignity and self respect.

Somehow that day some perception changed either due to my crazy bro who is known for his temper or some other thing

Yesterday again someone remarked on my frantic attempt to get back to work after my 4 year break for child care. That I am selfish in my ambition

Is it wrong to want a better life for my child

Aj court ke stamp vada kora kagaz (blank paper) par sign kar ke vanraj ko diya hai or bola hai isme jo likhna hai like lo.

Kavya gonna take advantage of this super smart move of anupama 🤢

Originally posted by: sweet_tania

Aj court ke stamp vada kora kagaz (blank paper) par sign kar ke vanraj ko diya hai or bola hai isme jo likhna hai like lo.

Kavya gonna take advantage of this super smart move of anupama 🤢

I want Kavya to do take advantage tbh, Vanraj deserves it, bohot chilla chilla ke bol raha tha na mera ghar mera ghar. Jab Kavya apne naam pe ghar karwa legi na tab iski hekdi bahar niklegi. Anupamaa need not worry at all, she is more secure than these two selfish people. And she is now capable enough to support baa bapuji and kids if kavya throws them out of the house, acha hai Vanraj humesha ke liye apne family se dur ho jayega after this, he deserves it. And humari kinju baby bhi toh hai, uski itni property kab kaam aayegi kuch dino ke liye use kar hi sakte hai, ekdum beghar toh nahi ho jayenge😜, woh baat alag hai Anu uski zaroorat nahi padne degi 😁

I am actually confused, in some situations I do feel sorry for her, in some situations I feel she could have avoided these things but bcoz of her mahaanta she herself inflicted pain on herself.

Originally posted by: suresh555

No sympathy for Anupama, she is all talk but very little action. Her decisions are like a yo yo, kabhi idhar kabhi udhar. She aggressively asked for divorce only to allow her sautan live under the same roof as her. There was absolutely no justification what so ever. She is bullying people that really care, like samar and kinjal, but her mouth freezes when she should really stand up to baa and vanraj. There was absolutely no justification for the drama with samar on shivaratri. The drama should have happened with vanraj on him insulting samar and nandini. She should have been the one to remind him that it was her house and that he was insulting her guest. She should be scolding toshu and not kinjal. She is a bail buddhi in my opinion and deserves all the problems she is facing because most are created by her

I agree!

Anu may not have been responsible for any of her initial problems (except how the Toshu and Pankhi turned out), but she is definitely responsible for what happens from here...

Originally posted by: luvdesitelly

I wish you had put third option - Somewhat. I do feel sorry for what she went thru. in last 25 years. It took her husband's affair for her to open her mouth and fight back. After that she became stronger and stronger until recently.

What she's doing now is totally wrong. She should have thrown both kavya and Vanra out of their house. millions of people live on streets. They can do as well. She should not give crap what Ba is thinking. Her dignity, self respect, children safety, and bapuji and mamaji come first. Baki sab bhad main jaaye.

I would normally put at least three options, but this time I wanted to put just the two choices so that all of us would have to choose one way or another.

And wanted to clarify btw I meant to ask whether or not we feel sorry for her now in the present situation...

Even I really sympathised with her before she brought Kavya into the house...