Please ignore the typos. It's so so but since I typed it , I am just posting it here
Sai has noticed virat sirs behavior off late. He has been keeping to himself. He doesn’t interact as much with family. He talks when spoken to. Aai was also worried about this sudden change and tried talking to him but to no use. He talks to her but never the light-hearted way as before. It’s like something heavy weighing on his mind. She also spotted him being very stern with Pakhi when she tried in her usual bluster entering our room on one of the nights. The strangest part is , she would often find his gaze on her when he thought she was asleep. He created his own window through the pillow fort. Something was up with him. The past few months were especially difficult for him, what with the unveiling of devi tais truth about her husband and child. With her being sent out of the house, him going on the dangerous mission and returning injured. I thought we worked out our issues because in all this, I realized one thing that I cannot be away from him. Knowing he was injured , made me relive the most painful time of my life. I need to do something about it, it is like he is suffering from inside and is not willing to share his pain with anyone.
It was 6 in the evening, when she walked into virat’s office. He was shocked to see her, but after a bit of coaxing and guilt-tripping from her side, he decided to finish work early and accompany her. Over the past month, she learnt driving from Mohit dada, so she thanked the stars that it is coming to use now. Virat sir , to my amusement ,almost looked scared to let me drive.
“AAP chinta mat kijiye, Sir, It is not a long drive”, assured Sai
She parked the car near the banks of the river. Thankfully, Virat sir without asking any questions followed her to the nearest bench facing the river. For a few minutes, both of them didn’t speak, they were just enjoying the breezy atmosphere around them.
You know what sai, when I was small. I was very naughty and because of that kaku and baba where always scolding aai. Samrat was the most chaheeta and I was always jealous. But all that changed, when one day I saw aai crying in front of bappa. I was a teenager then, and I couldn’t see my aai cry because of me. So I vowed to become the chaheeta beta so that I don’t create problems for my aai. I was so shielded by my mom, coming to think of it that I didn’t notice the tension between my baba, kaku and aai. I worked my ass off , became someone that everyone could be proud off. Slowly, earned my place in kakus heart. My parents were proud of me, my relationship with Samrat was improving and I was the center of everyones attention. I spent most of my adult life outside the house and when I returned I was treated royally. Now, when I think about it, I failed to notice how rigid my house was. I failed to notice everyone’s suffering, I failed to notice devi tai’s , shivani, aai and monist pain. I always wanted to maintain the status quo and wanted to avoid conflicts. I feel like a fraud, wearing this khaki uniform when I feel my sense of right and wrong is skewered. I feel jealous of you Sai, you have a strong sense of right and wrong, and you would do anything for what you believe in. Your methods might be different but you don’t let anything deter you. I just feel lost,sai.
I have never seen Virat sir so low and also so open about what he is feeling. She thought about how aai said that he never opens about his feelings. She is glad he trusted her to open up.
She took his hands in hers.
Virat sir, I grew up with just my aaba , who instilled these values in me. Also, I was pampered a lot by my aaba and always got what I want. I am not perfect , Virat sir. My way of doing things are sometimes not the best although the intention is good. I am impulsive and I am lucky so far to have not gone wrong because of this. I admire your patience and your sense of choosing the right battles to fight with family. I don’t know what it is to grow up in a joint family. I don’t know how it is to satisfy everyones needs and make everyone happy. It is hardest to stand up against the people you value the most, I understand how hard it is to believe that the people you love the most could do things that you never imagined. Don’t be hard on yourself. Yes, you did ignore it but once you realized what’s wrong, you stood up for me and everyone else in the family for what is right. You can’t take blame for others doing, sometimes people should find the strength to fight for themselves. I understand what you are feeling right now, but don’t be hard on yourself Sir. We all learn from our mistakes. I admire how patiently you handle everyone , even when its so infuriating sometimes. But when I think about it, you think about the bigger picture. It works sometimes and it doesn’t the other times. I am glad that you shared all this with me, lean on me more Virat sir, lean on the people who care about you.
She leaned her head on his shoulders and she could feel him leaning towards her as well.
Thank you for listening to me, Sai. I just don’t feel good these days but today I feel a little bit lighter thanks to you. Like you said, I need to find happiness in little things and take things one day at a time. I am glad you brought me here today, Sai. I have a lot to figure out. I am glad to have you in my life and I am so sorry for not understanding you all this time.
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