Member Topic: How many of you had an arranged marriage? - Page 11

Originally posted by: colossial2015

Your wedding was a big fat pakistani wedding. Chat mangni pat biya( wedding) type of wedding.

You and your wife is happy. Only that matters.

Yes 2.5 years later I’m very happy. But it wasn’t smooth sailing. ( visa process )

So for long time I had long lost distance relationship. I took so many trips that I’m sure government was tracking why is this guy going to Pakistan so much 😆

Was about to get married but I ran from the wedding.

Originally posted by: sev.puri

A close friend of mine had an arranged marriage. The guy’s family and her family were close family friends but they didn’t used to interact much, nor did they ever date before marriage due to cultural/religious reasons. Now imagine in full filmy style, when her dadi was on her deathbed, she did a classic “I want to see you both married before I die.” She has 3 elder siblings but ended up being the first to marry because of dadi se kiya hua vaada. It’s been a few years and she could not be more miserable and to her own admission has said she has given up. They have a little girl and he doesn’t spend time with her much. Maybe takes her grocery shopping, buys her a teddy every now and then. He’ll come home from work and be like “yaar sambhalo isko, kaam se thak kar aaya hoon”, even though they both work full time jobs. He didn’t even enter the hospital when she gave birth because he didn’t want to be grossed out or whatever. Whenever we talk to her about the possibility of a separation, she brings up her mum’s health condition and not wanting to stress her out. No idea what other advice to give in this case.

yeh concept bhi BW ka diya hua hai😡

Originally posted by: Sharpener

Tell me bout it

The stuff that goes in this community is disgusting. Desis are OBSESSED with their image. Our own family friends got their orphaned niece married off to an autistic guy just because he was rich...she divorced him after three years and now they're publicly shaming their own niece 🤪

These things were common some 50 years ago...rabindranath tagore had written a story where an orphan girl was forced to marry an unstable man..it ended in the girl killing herself and her well wisher leaving her family in disgust

Originally posted by: Deviant_Pixel

Well he is pakistani born and brought up (including passport) and I am Indian brought up in dubai also holding an indian passport (this is important because geographically it poses a challenge). We met in our university library (in the uk for context) actually, were friends for a year and I avoided liking him because I knew this was going to be a major struggle. We come from broken homes, countries we both cannot even visit and religions, I was like this is gonna end badlyy. But we couldn't help it and started dating in my final year of uni. I left to Dubai after graduation, he was unsure if he wanted to study further and went to Pak. Lots of tears at airport, because we legit were like we aren't seeing each other ever again logically but we still tried long distance and it was a disaster. We were way too young and couldn't handle the distance plus that time pressure of career.

After 6 months of our break up, he surprised me in Dubai, we reconciled. He left a good job back home with his dad's business and got a really bad one in Dubai and struggled for a year when his mom also passed away. Finally he settled in and then fast forward 6 years, I was like tell your father now, he went back home for a holiday bearing bribes and gifts, his dad instantly was like what have you done? When he told his dad, his jaw dropped he was like you both are nuts.

Finally after a year of convincing his father and stepmother came here. He and my mom are super close anyway as I introduced them very soon after he moved. His dad met me liked me alot and liked my mom but ofcourse they were like this is too hard and you guys will never see each others families, we wont see our grandkids lalala. My dad hasn't accepted him because he is super conservative and extremely rigid. In the end they accepted our relationship and told us go ahead and get engaged which we did privately without an official ceremony as of yet.

I applied for my canadian residency and he procrastinated, when I got mine, his tubelight came on and he applied and then bam covid hit and his application is stranded so we may have to go down the spousal route lets see. He met with a major accident this time in March when he went on vacation, so now hes stuck in Pak with physio etc. Nothing ever comes easy.

To be continued when and if this works out🤣

Wow! Wish you all the best!

Originally posted by: Sharpener

Wow! Wish you all the best!

Thanks ❤️

Originally posted by: Deviant_Pixel

Well he is pakistani born and brought up (including passport) and I am Indian brought up in dubai also holding an indian passport (this is important because geographically it poses a challenge). We met in our university library (in the uk for context) actually, were friends for a year and I avoided liking him because I knew this was going to be a major struggle. We come from broken homes, countries we both cannot even visit and religions, I was like this is gonna end badlyy. But we couldn't help it and started dating in my final year of uni. I left to Dubai after graduation, he was unsure if he wanted to study further and went to Pak. Lots of tears at airport, because we legit were like we aren't seeing each other ever again logically but we still tried long distance and it was a disaster. We were way too young and couldn't handle the distance plus that time pressure of career.

After 6 months of our break up, he surprised me in Dubai, we reconciled. He left a good job back home with his dad's business and got a really bad one in Dubai and struggled for a year when his mom also passed away. Finally he settled in and then fast forward 6 years, I was like tell your father now, he went back home for a holiday bearing bribes and gifts, his dad instantly was like what have you done? When he told his dad, his jaw dropped he was like you both are nuts.

Finally after a year of convincing his father and stepmother came here. He and my mom are super close anyway as I introduced them very soon after he moved. His dad met me liked me alot and liked my mom but ofcourse they were like this is too hard and you guys will never see each others families, we wont see our grandkids lalala. My dad hasn't accepted him because he is super conservative and extremely rigid. In the end they accepted our relationship and told us go ahead and get engaged which we did privately without an official ceremony as of yet.

I applied for my canadian residency and he procrastinated, when I got mine, his tubelight came on and he applied and then bam covid hit and his application is stranded so we may have to go down the spousal route lets see. He met with a major accident this time in March when he went on vacation, so now hes stuck in Pak with physio etc. Nothing ever comes easy.

To be continued when and if this works out🤣

Wish you all the best...

Originally posted by: Deviant_Pixel

Well he is pakistani born and brought up (including passport) and I am Indian brought up in dubai also holding an indian passport (this is important because geographically it poses a challenge). We met in our university library (in the uk for context) actually, were friends for a year and I avoided liking him because I knew this was going to be a major struggle. We come from broken homes, countries we both cannot even visit and religions, I was like this is gonna end badlyy. But we couldn't help it and started dating in my final year of uni. I left to Dubai after graduation, he was unsure if he wanted to study further and went to Pak. Lots of tears at airport, because we legit were like we aren't seeing each other ever again logically but we still tried long distance and it was a disaster. We were way too young and couldn't handle the distance plus that time pressure of career.

After 6 months of our break up, he surprised me in Dubai, we reconciled. He left a good job back home with his dad's business and got a really bad one in Dubai and struggled for a year when his mom also passed away. Finally he settled in and then fast forward 6 years, I was like tell your father now, he went back home for a holiday bearing bribes and gifts, his dad instantly was like what have you done? When he told his dad, his jaw dropped he was like you both are nuts.

Finally after a year of convincing his father and stepmother came here. He and my mom are super close anyway as I introduced them very soon after he moved. His dad met me liked me alot and liked my mom but ofcourse they were like this is too hard and you guys will never see each others families, we wont see our grandkids lalala. My dad hasn't accepted him because he is super conservative and extremely rigid. In the end they accepted our relationship and told us go ahead and get engaged which we did privately without an official ceremony as of yet.

I applied for my canadian residency and he procrastinated, when I got mine, his tubelight came on and he applied and then bam covid hit and his application is stranded so we may have to go down the spousal route lets see. He met with a major accident this time in March when he went on vacation, so now hes stuck in Pak with physio etc. Nothing ever comes easy.

To be continued when and if this works out🤣

Wow what a story

Hopefully it all works out. Have faith

He’s stuck in Pakistan. I miss Lahore (offtopic) 😆

Originally posted by: Deviant_Pixel

Well he is pakistani born and brought up (including passport) and I am Indian brought up in dubai also holding an indian passport (this is important because geographically it poses a challenge). We met in our university library (in the uk for context) actually, were friends for a year and I avoided liking him because I knew this was going to be a major struggle. We come from broken homes, countries we both cannot even visit and religions, I was like this is gonna end badlyy. But we couldn't help it and started dating in my final year of uni. I left to Dubai after graduation, he was unsure if he wanted to study further and went to Pak. Lots of tears at airport, because we legit were like we aren't seeing each other ever again logically but we still tried long distance and it was a disaster. We were way too young and couldn't handle the distance plus that time pressure of career.

After 6 months of our break up, he surprised me in Dubai, we reconciled. He left a good job back home with his dad's business and got a really bad one in Dubai and struggled for a year when his mom also passed away. Finally he settled in and then fast forward 6 years, I was like tell your father now, he went back home for a holiday bearing bribes and gifts, his dad instantly was like what have you done? When he told his dad, his jaw dropped he was like you both are nuts.

Finally after a year of convincing his father and stepmother came here. He and my mom are super close anyway as I introduced them very soon after he moved. His dad met me liked me alot and liked my mom but ofcourse they were like this is too hard and you guys will never see each others families, we wont see our grandkids lalala. My dad hasn't accepted him because he is super conservative and extremely rigid. In the end they accepted our relationship and told us go ahead and get engaged which we did privately without an official ceremony as of yet.

I applied for my canadian residency and he procrastinated, when I got mine, his tubelight came on and he applied and then bam covid hit and his application is stranded so we may have to go down the spousal route lets see. He met with a major accident this time in March when he went on vacation, so now hes stuck in Pak with physio etc. Nothing ever comes easy.

To be continued when and if this works out🤣

Hey you have a filmy love story 😍.

Definitely it'll work out..... I'll pray for your story 💜. Do come back n continue then👍🏼

Originally posted by: Thatgirl16

Please be kind and do clear my confusion 😃.

Real world mein disclose nai kar paati hoon toh yehi sahi.

Pehle baat toh shaadi karna zaroori hota hai kya?

I want to get married but I don't trust people at all.🤦 I'm a mess.

Shaadi zaruri or not is up to you. You want to marry go ahead, you don’t want to marry then don’t.

Trust can be built, I just think don’t get in to marriage thinking its all going to be happy and romantic BW type.

Know the person you want to marry, trust me now a days its a little easy to save yourself from fraud and bad people if you want to. When my friend had a rishta, we all did our own jasoosi and got as much information as we can about his family and friends and his lifestyle. So there was no way he could sugarcoat things and get away with it.

The most important thing, every marriage is different and no two individual are the same. Once married, you both are the captain of that ship and you guys need to work together. Do not let the outsiders mould your opinions.