cheating & extra marital affair - Page 5

Originally posted by: mysterious_rain

just saw your thread about the post-martum depression, oh my God people are disgusting!

Ikr! I feel zero sympathies for this guy.

Originally posted by: DelusionalMe

I don't know if it is right to share this here but I would be keeping the names anonymous. I personally know someone who was in a relationship with a girl for almost 6 yrs but while in relationship he fell for someone else. But as he was committed, he couldn't back off and married the first girl and now is stuck in a loveless marriage. The person now regrets the decision and lacks guts to divorce his now wife. I think the guy actually destroyed three lives. All three people in picture are unhappy. Sometimes people stay in a relation for family's happiness or may be because they have to put up with an image in public. I personally feel that if you are not happy in a relationship and find yourself cheating on your partner, it's better to get a divorce and let your partner live with dignity.

Men like this would be total jerks even if he had married the second girl. There is no such thing as soulmates. If he was with the first girl for 6 years, there was enough he liked about her to make the marriage work if he wanted to. He's just stuck in a fantasy and making life horrible for everyone.

Most relationships are about effort and respect and not just love. If you want to make it work, you can. As long as there is no abuse and torture, most marriages can be made to work.

all i feel is , there is no excuse for cheating a partner. Cheating will involve physical involvement and emotional involvement with a third person.

Yes we can get attracted to another person, thats normal, but to act upon it and then hurting your partner and family is wrong.

If you can't love your partner, thats okay, but atleast don't insult and disrespect them by having an affair.

I personally know some middle aged men esp, go through a phase where they get attracted to younger girls and try to flirt with them , try to get close.

Its pathetic really.

Iguess if one isn't able to love their patner or have any issues regarding sex they should bevocal and express their issues

If they have good understanding maybe open relationship can work too

It totally depends upon communication

Originally posted by: regnow

Men like this would be total jerks even if he had married the second girl. There is no such thing as soulmates. If he was with the first girl for 6 years, there was enough he liked about her to make the marriage work if he wanted to. He's just stuck in a fantasy and making life horrible for everyone.

Most relationships are about effort and respect and not just love. If you want to make it work, you can. As long as there is no abuse and torture, most marriages can be made to work.

I totally agree. The guy in question is actually a friend and here I'm not supporting his actions but after hearing his side of story I actually feel pity for him. He said that he started dating that first girl for it appeared cool at that age. All his friends had gf and so he wanted one. He said that though he liked that girl, he didn't feel the way he felt when he met that other girl. But till that time, to put it in his own words, it was too late.

Obviously now he thinks he has no option but to continue with the marriage. He respects his now wife but he always talks about how his life would have been if had guts to tell everyone about his feelings.

Obviously, a marriage requires a lot more than love but I feel if you are married to someone and keep thinking about your life with someone else, it's better to let loose. I think he robbed his wife of the happiness that she might have had if she had married someone who truly wanted to be with her. Obviously, she would have been devastated after breaking up but in the long term, she would have been happy and also the rest of the people in picture.

Shilpa needs money and Raj an arm candy. I wonder where is Raj Kundra's ex wife and the kid.

Marriage is a social contract. Contracts are based on mutual understanding and don't necessarily need to share love or sex.

People choose to remain in marriages for various reasons. Economic stability. Social stability. Social acceptance. Family ties. Sometimes if not for themselves, for their children.

Not all loveless marriages are unhappy or miserable. It may not be fulfilling and joyous, but people can manage to be friendly and cordial. You can have fun and enjoy the company of people even if you are not in love or having sex.

I don't condone cheating. If you are unfulfilled with a relationship and find yourself attracted to someone else, you should be honest with your partner and end the relationships. But it is a grey area. What is cheating? Is it a sexual act with someone other than your partner? Does it have to be accompanied by love/emotional attachment? What if you have meaningless sex? What if you never engage in a sex act, but emotionally you are enamored with someone else? What if you start finding the social, emotional companionship you had with your partner with someone else? Is this OK if it never gets physical?

And sometimes despite being unfulfilled, despite cheating by one or both partners, people continue to be in a relationship because of the aforementioned stability reasons. Sometimes there is no love or sex, but there is family/companionship. Some people find that they can be happy together in open relationships.

That being said if the relationship is abusive, miserable, and two people loathe each others company then someone has to find the courage to get out and move on. Especially if they have children. Children deserve loving stable homes not toxic environments. They are actually more intuitive to discord than adults and a bad relationship can scar children.

Also, it is perfectly OK to leave a relationship because it is not fulfilling. It doesn't have to be abusive or miserable to want out. Sometimes people have to put their needs first.

Originally posted by: SatoshiNakamoto

There are plenty of reasons why one can choose to stay in a marriage. Idea that love is a deal breaker is a relatively new concept. Whether one should stay or not depends on how much weightage he/she gives to love based on his/her current circumstances.

I have noticed for Indian families the pressure to provide your kids a healthy family atmosphere is a huge. I have worked for many organizations dedicated to fighting domestic violence in Asian families. That cause was a huge factor.