Re: Babita/Ashok - Page 4

I was in an physically emotional abusive marriage . I have a broken shoulder and knees as proof. I couldn't even speak to anyone about my problems. I was raised to believe that marriage is for life and that you must adjust no matter what

Plus I was asked by parents to promise never to tell bhai about what was happening as he tends to be hyper protective

My family was not supportive as they didn't even believe me. This is ciz i am known to be a rebel. When i was eve teased i have slapped guys. I never cry in public. I give off a cold vibe sometimes

I had a great bunch of friends since my teens. One was in the city i was posted and coincidence was in the same company and floor i was working. She was married and lived across me. It was such a wierd coincidence

She noticed cigg burns on the back when using the washroom at work and called bhai. Till then i had not told her the extent of trouble i was in. I have this trouble in discussing personal troubles. I usually talk to bhai bhabhi to an extent or my bff

My brother planned a visit to India that weekend. I made some sambar that Thursday night with less spice for some reason it set the monstor off he tied me up and tried to burn me. I guess he wanted to scare me. My close friend who was also my neighbour had a bad dream of me dying in fire and came rushing. For some reason i had given her a spare key. She was able to save me and i took a flight home. I had a breakdown and could not cry or react till i saw bhai later. My bhai and bff reached about 10 hrs after i reached my home town. After leaving hospital i did not want to stay with anyone and moved to a hostel. I guess i just wanted to cling to my job. My family is fairly supportive now but i guess its more of guilt.

I was ashamed despite being educated and financially capable i took 15 months to walk out.

Even i am sharing this with a view that it is never late to decide that enough is enough. I must thank londonchick a anon friend online who encouraged me to write about my struggle on various SM platforms to help other people moveon

Originally posted by: AnjuRish

I was in an physically emotional abusive marriage . I have a broken shoulder and knees as proof. I couldn't even speak to anyone about my problems. I was raised to believe that marriage is for life and that you must adjust no matter what

Plus I was asked by parents to promise never to tell bhai about what was happening as he tends to be hyper protective

My family was not supportive as they didn't even believe me. This is ciz i am known to be a rebel. When i was eve teased i have slapped guys. I never cry in public. I give off a cold vibe sometimes

I had a great bunch of friends since my teens. One was in the city i was posted and coincidence was in the same company and floor i was working. She was married and lived across me. It was such a wierd coincidence

She noticed cigg burns on the back when using the washroom at work and called bhai. Till then i had not told her the extent of trouble i was in. I have this trouble in discussing personal troubles. I usually talk to bhai bhabhi to an extent or my bff

My brother planned a visit to India that weekend. I made some sambar that Thursday night with less spice for some reason it set the monstor off he tied me up and tried to burn me. I guess he wanted to scare me. My close friend who was also my neighbour had a bad dream of me dying in fire and came rushing. For some reason i had given her a spare key. She was able to save me and i took a flight home. I had a breakdown and could not cry or react till i saw bhai later. My bhai and bff reached about 10 hrs after i reached my home town. After leaving hospital i did not want to stay with anyone and moved to a hostel. I guess i just wanted to cling to my job. My family is fairly supportive now but i guess its more of guilt.

I was ashamed despite being educated and financially capable i took 15 months to walk out.

Even i am sharing this with a view that it is never late to decide that enough is enough. I must thank londonchick a anon friend online who encouraged me to write about my struggle on various SM platforms to help other people moveon

I am unmarried and don't have any bad experience on love, marriage, etc. but have heard and seen enough abusive stories of women in my family and social circles.

Your friend at least cared to inform about your abuse to your brother. I am not so lucky when it comes to friendship. To them, friendship is all about roaming together, taking selfies and using them for personal when needed.

I don't have a genuine friend like you have and had I been in your situation, my so-called friend would not even have cared to inform about it to my family.

So I have learnt early in life to be prepared to get up myself whenever I fall. My parents would support me but some day , they'll ultimately blame me for all the mishap. I don't want such namesake help.

I am blessed to meet such amazing women in the forum. 👍🏼

May you all be blessed with lots of happiness and a great future. 🤗

Originally posted by: RTDeewani

I hope your shoulder, knees and all other bruises have all healed. Thanks to all your friends who've encouraged you to share your experience and indeed this simple comment can be a great game-changer for many such abused women out there.

I am unmarried and don't have any bad experience on love, marriage, etc. but have heard and seen enough abusive stories of women in my family and social circles.

Your friend at least cared to inform about your abuse to your brother. I am not so lucky when it comes to friendship. To them, friendship is all about roaming together, taking selfies and using them for personal when needed.

I don't have a genuine friend like you have and had I been in your situation, my so-called friend would not even have cared to inform about it to my family.

So I have learnt early in life to be prepared to get up myself whenever I fall. My parents would support me but some day , they'll ultimately blame me for all the mishap. I don't want such namesake help.

Yes all physical wounds have healed and took 3 years to recover and remarried and have a 2 year old at 38

Yes that stage i got to know who my family and friends are. I come from a big joint family. Thanks for the compliment

Most of friends stood by me since we all know each other since 16 and have seen each other thru a lot of ups and dows. My bro says remember nit matter what i and u r bff have u r back

So yes that was a big factor

hello to everyone...I am really happy for all the courageous ladies over here who have moved on from unhappy marriage and given their life second chance....for good. 👏🤗👍🏼

I am a doctorate in sociology, and recently done a project on marriage and Divorce. All the issues discussed here are some of the findings. Yes in Indian society women is conditioned in such a way that, breaking marriage is not so easy if she leads it. If she is dependent on husband then it is worse. Support of family or others is crucial. it gives them hope and courage. I salute the mother/brother/friends for being there with you. One of my sister is in the same problem, but she decided to move out and living separately with her 2 kids. however her situation is different in the sense that she lives near by so that he at least support/care their children needs (schooling, health). Touchwood my family is supportive and we all support her. For us its like he came in our life for giving two beautiful kids, and is now out of our mind.

I am 38 and unmarried, but iam over and above the 'log kya kahenge' notion. I hardly give any second thought to it, I believe in myself and thats why i feel if situation arise in my marriage i would not tolerate it and would be happy to move out if it starts harming me. In preparation of future i m concentrating more on having my own home and a steady job now 😊

Originally posted by: Swetha-Sai

I am blessed to meet such amazing women in the forum. 👍🏼

May you all be blessed with lots of happiness and a great future. 🤗

Exactly!!

So happy to meet you all .May you all get your share of happiness.

I'm unmarried but somewhere I'm like Babita log kya kahenge iss baat se bahot dar lgta h though I'm working nd independent girl. Babita's journey is very inspiring for me. I want to change myself.

Originally posted by: sheeluneelu

So happy to meet you all .May you all get your share of happiness.

I'm unmarried but somewhere I'm like Babita log kya kahenge iss baat se bahot dar lgta h though I'm working nd independent. Babita's journey is very inspiring for me. I want to change myself.

since u r working and independent, consider it as ur strength. Start giving less importance to log kya kahenge, agar ye log aapki takleef kam nahi kar sakte ya khatam nahi kar sakte toh importance mat do... start believing in what is good for you....and whether u could handle it alone. if yes...then everything will be ok....even if no one supports u and u know 'it' is the best u can do it for urself, go ahead.....sooner or later they will support and come back to you. Most important- even if you get married, DONT LEAVE YOUR JOB AT ANY COST, AND START SAVING FOR YOURSELF THODA-THODA'. bad times mei yahi aapka saath denge.

I live alone, but everyone is interested in knowing about my marital status (considering my health may be thy think i am too old and have married by now😊). one lady in my neigbourhood always asked about my marital status, for a year i said unmarried, next year....i said next year hogi, .....third year i said engagement ho gai,....shaadi 2 yrs baad hogi kyuki ladka out of country hain.......(in reality, aisa kuch nahi hain, unko story suna diya).. So she is now convinced ki main normal girl hoon.

Originally posted by: Raatri

Hi sheelu....i guess u r not only one......lot of women are like babita....

since u r working and independent, consider it as ur strength. Start giving less importance to log kya kahenge, agar ye log aapki takleef kam nahi kar sakte ya khatam nahi kar sakte toh importance mat do... start believing in what is good for you....and whether u could handle it alone. if yes...then everything will be ok....even if no one supports u and u know 'it' is the best u can do it for urself, go ahead.....sooner or later they will support and come back to you. Most important- even if you get married, DONT LEAVE YOUR JOB AT ANY COST, AND START SAVING FOR YOURSELF THODA-THODA'. bad times mei yahi aapka saath denge.

I live alone, but everyone is interested in knowing about my marital status (considering my health may be thy think i am too old and have married by now😊). one lady in my neigbourhood always asked about my marital status, for a year i said unmarried, next year....i said next year hogi, .....third year i said engagement ho gai,....shaadi 2 yrs baad hogi kyuki ladka out of country hain.......(in reality, aisa kuch nahi hain, unko story suna diya).. So she is now convinced ki main normal girl hoon.

They are in the typical 'log kya kahenge' bandwagon.

My response to "log kya kahenge", especially whenever relatives say it:

"Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log... Jo log mushkil waqt mein saath na dein unke kuch bolne se humein koi farq nahin padna chahiye."

And if anyone asks me about my marital status, and why I live on my own I just smile at them teasingly and say, "I know you're jealous of my freedom!" 😆

As for friends, well over time I've learned to become supportive towards them to help them overcome their fears of social/peer pressure. It's really helpful when you have someone standing by you to reassure you that it's fine to make your own decisions and not worry about people's comments. Those who care about you will be with you through thick and thin.